Today was Friday the 13. (OOOOOOOO Spooky!!) Today was tiring. I had a lot on my plate, and still do, resulting with school. I have to finish up Quill and my biology stuff, along with trying to sell almonds. I want to read poems # 10 and 11 to Zaine, but, I don't know if I have the courage to do so. Alice got two new tattoos today, a Supernatural one and a Legend of Zelda one. I feel terrible. For no reason. I thought Ii was no one, that I was garbage. I probably am garbage. What if Zaine is only friends with me out of pity? I would be devastated if that was the case. It's not like I wasn't pitied enough by a lot of people already. I realise I mention Zaine a lot, but, he's been a big part in my life, and, by his words, I was also a big part in his life. I sometimes feel like I couldn't be enough for him, that I try too little for him. He needs more than  I can ever give him, and I don't know how to give him those things. He knows how I feel about him, I just wished I could be more to him, a little bit more than friends... That's just me,  I guess...

-Nikki Greul

Poem # 11

I feel like a burden.

My burdensome life;

It burdens everyone.

Why am I alive?

I should be somewhere,

By myself,

Not bothering anyone,

Just me.

Alone,

With my black thoughts,

Black thoughts of worthlessness,

Black thoughts of hopelessness.

When will the vicious cycle end? 

"I don't want this..."

I whisper, curling into a ball.