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47

aka last chapter before epilogue...

Babies. The only thing running through my head ever since the trial. It seemed like everywhere I went, I was surrounded by babies and all things related to babies. Maryam was turning one tomorrow, so Zayn and I were out looking for gifts. The baby store surely wasn't helping my immense baby fever. 

"Saima, I don't care what you say, but we're so getting her this," Zayn said - practically jumping in joy as he spotted the little drum set geared towards Maryam's age group. It was the cutest thing, so we got her that and some tiny dolls. We went to the long line waiting for our turn; I observed Zayn carrying all things baby-related. His arms filled with the toys as he stood there, tapping his foot, waiting. He would make an excellent father. Was I going crazy? I mean Alhamdulillah, our lives were going smoothly, and everything fell in place except one thing. 

I wanted my own tiny human.

After we checked out, we headed to Subway for lunch. We both sat inside and ate our sandwiches in silence until I blurted out, "Do you want kids."

He looked at me, startled but then raised an eyebrow, "We've discussed this multiple times; of course, I want kids," He said, rolling his eyes. That's true, but for some reason, I kept going,

"Would you want to adopt?" As much as I wanted to experience pregnancy and childbirth physically, adoption was always something on my mind. Many kids out there are in dire need of a family; if I could provide for them financially and emotionally, then why not?

He pondered for a bit sitting his sandwich down, "I never thought about it, I guess so" I nodded that was a good response, 

He lifted his sandwich to his mouth and then paused, setting it back down, "Why?" 

I shrugged, wiping the crumbs off of my clothing, "Don't know," I said honestly; it was random to ask, but I needed to know. The conversation ended there, and we continued eating, talking off about how underrated tuna was.

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"Happy Birthday, my Maryam," I squealed, spinning her around, her little pink tutu flying all over the place, her little giggles being the only thing heard.

"Come to Fufa," Zayn cooed, taking her out of my arms. Bhai and Bhabi's place was full-on decked out for this occasion - courtesy of Zara. Everything was pink. The balloons, streamers, even the forks. Angie was an avid baker who baked the cake. She didn't let me see it insisting it was a surprise, but I already knew it would be extravagant. We all played cute little games and talked until Bhabi called out,

"Cake time!" We went to the table to find a giant pink cake - three tiers. It was hot pink all over with baby pink and gold accents. At the top was this stunning princess figurine, absolutely adorable.

"Angie! Mashallah!" I squealed, admiring every little detail of this masterpiece; I took out my phone, ready to snap a picture when I noticed I had gotten an email.

SUPPORT YOUR UMMAH, ADOPT AN ORPHAN

I was so shocked by this email. I nearly dropped my phone. It was sent by one of the Islamic organizations I was subscribed to. Was this a sign? I mean, I was just talking about adoption a day ago. Quickly turning my phone off, I focused on what was in front of me, spending each moment with my family, trying not to think about my future family.

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It was a couple of days later, and I sat in bed, staring at that email. Rohingya refugees who needed a family, the Rohingya crisis was already so devastating and now seeing all these orphans caused an ache in my heart. Suddenly the sound of Zayn's book getting shut was heard, and his head was leaned against my shoulder,

"What's up? You've been acting weird" He said peering onto my phone and reading the email, 

"The crisis is so sad, May allah give them refuge, I wish we could do more" He said, "Ameen" I mumbled. I then moved away from him, sitting in front of him.

"There's more that we can do though" I said, He opened his mouth to say something, "Besides charity" I added, he looked at me confused, waiting for me to continue. I opened my phone and pulled up the flyer, 

ADOPT AN ORPHAN

His eyes widened as he read it. "Are you sure? It's not as easy as it is and it's a lot of work, It would be a huge change" 

I nodded my head continuously, "It's all I want, all I've ever wanted" I turned around so now that I was beside him, my back against the backboard,

"Think about it You, me and a little child and Inshallah in the future some of our own kids we could even adopt more kids - " I trailed off practically jumping at the thought of everything,

He chuckled, "Let's think one at a time" He was right I was getting way too excited, 

"But we have the money, we have the resources so what's stopping us?" I asked tilting my head to the side. 

He thought about it for a second, deep in thought, "Nothing, really" He said after awhile of thinking. 

I smiled, about to start jumping when he held me down, "We'll look into it no promises though," He said slowly, but I could tell by the smile that overtook his face that we both knew what was going to happen.

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"... And this is the backyard, we'll build a playground with swings and such, so it's more enjoyable for kids," Zayn finished, waiting for the agent to finish writing down notes. We had moved quickly with the whole adoption process, we even bought a house because we were that excited. Thankfully we were blessed with a very fast-moving agency, and a little over six months later, we were now in the final stages of adopting our child.

Our child. 

Just thinking about it gave me butterflies. Our own little human that we would raise and love unconditionally. A little baby that would grow up, calling us Mom and Dad. 

"Alright, I will email you further instructions but start packing; I'm sure in a month or two, you'll be on a plane off to Bangladesh!" The agent said with a wink; she went over some more policies, and then we bid her off. Our excitement being uncontrollable,

"We're going to be parents!" Zayn exclaimed, shutting the door and lifting me into the air, spinning me around. I was too excited even to be bothered by it.

"We should start decorating! We should buy toys too!" I squealed, regaining my balance on the ground, 

"Two months is so long though " Zayn groaned as we pulled out the parents magazine, letting all the information about car seats and pacifiers sink in.

The 67 days went by so slowly. We spent the days planning and preparing, when we neared the two month mark and still no word from the agency, we did get scared. Fear of not getting our child clouded our thoughts, but the second we received the call, telling us to book plane tickets, all we could feel was excitement.  

Zayn, I think, was doing a worse job at hiding his excitement than me; with his eyes traveling everywhere and the constant tapping of his fingers, it was adorable. Some nights he'd wake me up at 3AM filled with enthusiasm as he discussed our future. How he'd take our kid to soccer games or how he would spoil them with toys. He couldn't wait to be a father, and I couldn't wait to see it happen.

We made it to the center early, not even bothering to go to our hotel. It was there that we were met with our agent, who led us to our child,

Noor.

During the Rohingya crisis, Noor's parents were murdered by the Burmese military, all for being Muslim. Thankfully for a short period of time, Noor was taken care of by her aunt until she sadly passed away. Noor was just shy of two years old and had the most gorgeous chocolate skin and thick Mahogany hair. As we observed her sleeping figure, it seemed as if something in both Zayn and I changed. Like a flick of a switch. Noor meant light - literally, and to us, she was a beam of light shining on to our lives. There would never be darkness in our lives as long as we had our Noor. 

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for more information on the Rohingya crisis:

https://www.worldvision.org/refugees-news-stories/rohingya-refugees-bangladesh-facts

fun fact I am SETTLED on the name Noor for my future daughter I LOVE it so much my future husband has no choice but to agree LOL