2ND last chapter... 

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46

Last night I could not sleep a bit. Too many thoughts running through my head.
 As I applied concealer under my charcoal-colored under eyes, trying to get my hands to stop shaking, I couldn't help but wander into a dark place in my mind.

Today was August 26. 

Today I had to face the man in my nightmares. 

"Breathe," Zayn whispered as he took the tube of concealer out of my hands and took my hands into his own, gripping them tightly, allowing me to calm down. I took deep breaths in and out, trying to remove the image of his face from his mind. I needed closure, and today I will get it.

That's if I don't run out of the court room the second I see him. 

My mind was fuzzy. Everything went by a blur, and the next thing I know, I'm in the courthouse. I was standing with Zayn, Bhai, and Baba, listening to what my Lawyer had to say. But I paid no attention, of course, with thoughts running through my head, whatever my Lawyer was saying went through one ear and out the other. I fiddled with the hem of my blazer, observing my surroundings. Being in court was nothing new; after all, I am a lawyer, but this was still unfamiliar. The buzzing of the people discussing the logistics - how it would be very unlikely for me to win. The familiar smell of the bleach as the custodian walked by a sympathetic look on his face, as his eyes caught my stare. Nothing was new but everything was.

Well, now I at least know how my clients feel.

I didn't realize we were going inside until I felt Zayn's grip on my hand tighten. The room was filled with people, reporters trying to get in. After all, this was a high profile case; I covered my face with my scarf, ignoring all the questions getting thrown at me. Once we were safely inside, we sat at the back, the four of us. I was trembling and I could not stop. My vision was glassy as I tried to keep calm, if it weren't for Zayn's arms tightly holding me in place, I'm sure I would've ran out by now.

 It wasn't until a couple of minutes later that he was brought in. I only knew he was coming in by the slam of the doors and the silence which enveloped the room. The clicking of the cameras intensified. I didn't look at him; I couldn't. I was completely frozen. I could feel Zayn's eyes bore into me, I could see Bhai's hands formed into fists, and Baba's curses could be heard from a mile away. I kept my head down, staring deep into the glassy floor. Slowly counting each tile as everyone got situated. 

"All Rise. The court is now in session." A deep voice announced,

We all stood up. My head was still facing down; he was in the same room as me. The huge courtroom suddenly felt so tiny, it felt as if the walls were closing in on me. I felt sick, my stomach was twisting and turning. 

We were told to take a seat and the judge began,

"Ladies and Gentleman of the Jury, this is the criminal case of Alfred Robinson..." He went on, the Lawyers began talking and presenting evidence and such. I, of course, was not paying attention until it was my time to testify.

"Are there any witnesses?" The judge asked; my Lawyer then looked towards me. I froze. I could not do this; I looked to Zayn for help; he gave me a sympathetic look and helped me up,

"Allah's on your side, you can do this" He whispered. Bhai and Baba nodded towards me giving me a small smile. My legs were wobbly as I headed to the clerk to swear an oath. I still didn't look at him but I knew he was there, way too close for my liking.

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" The judge asked, 

"I do," I said, my voice was slightly shaking. I was asked the same thing again, but I was told to raise my right hand. I then went to the witness stand, slowly taking a seat. I was slightly slouching so I sat up straight, I needed this to go well, making a bad impression on the judge would not help me.

 It was then I took a look at Robinson, slowly turning my head, scared of what I was going to see. Standing in his orange uniform, hands cuffed with officers beside him. His eyes were already on me, the disgusting look on his face as he smirked at me. My vision was getting blurry; I could not do this. I took a look at Zayn, who was staring attentively at me; he gave me a thumbs-up, mouthing reassuring things. It calmed me down for a second, but then the judge began. I could feel the panic bubbling in me, like a volcano about to erupt. Soon after I was asked to testify,

I took a look at my family in the room who all gave me a reassuring look, they had a look on their face's, a look which made me think they believed in me. Shakily, I began, 

"I was at work like any other day, the day was over and I was about to go home.."

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"You did amazing; I'm so proud of you," Zayn said as he pulled away from me. The jurors were coming to a verdict whether he was innocent or guilty. To say I was scared was an understatement; I've seen some compelling cases where everything is in favor of the victim, and then somehow, the judge rules it as innocent leaving the offender to walk away free - especially with people of color and cases like mine. As awful as it is, I am a woman of color here with an assault case; my offender is a wealthy white male despite me testifying and multiple doctors' records along with images. The odds were not in my favor.

"I'm so proud of you, Saima. You killed it out there," Bhai said as we waited to get called back in. Baba was talking to my Lawyer, they then both came to us. Baba took my hand, trying to comfort me. My Lawyer had a sympathetic look on her face,

"I mean right now it's a 50/50 chance. The judge seems to be on your side, but the jurors haven't come to a conclusion yet." She said;

  I took deep breaths and read my Dua's. I had Allah on my side; if he didn't get his punishment in this life, he surely will in the afterlife. This was good news really, 50/50 is more than I expected. Knowing that the judge was on my side was reassuring but not as much, the jurors verdict mattered a lot and if they weren't on my side then it wasn't looking too good for me. I kept calm, trying to think positively but the more everyone discussed the possible outcomes the more nervous I got. 

After five excruciating minutes we were called back in, slowly taking a seat as the court began,

"Will the foreperson of jury stand? Have you reached a verdict" The judge said, I was starting to shake, so nervous for what was to happen.

"Yes your honor"

"You may read your verdict"

"... We have come to the conclusion that Alfred Robinson is guilty of assaulting Saima Rahman" I gasped in relief it wasn't over yet. The judge took a second as they explained their verdict. He looked around, his eyes meeting mine and then he concluded, looking straight into Robinson's eyes.

"I find you Alfred Robinson guilty of Aggravated assault. I hereby sentence you for six years in prison" 

I felt as if a huge boulder was taken off my lungs, I could finally breathe. As if on cue I stopped trembling the anxiety that had been haunting me, all gone. Robinson had a panicked look on his face, his eyes bulging out of their sockets, mumbling things, refusing to get up when the officers asked.

"Court is adjourned" The judge said with a small smile towards me,

We all started to cheer and clap; he was gone. Six years is not a long time but considering this case and everything, it was more than I could ever dream off. As we walked out, I watched Alfred reluctantly walkout. His head hung low as the officers took him out. He was going to be locked up, for the next six years the light of the world would become a luxury for him. The tiny cell of his would be his home. He was trapped, alone with nothing but his thoughts, but I was finally free.

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As I sat on my prayer mat that night, all I could feel was an immense relief. I could finally move on. All I felt was gratitude; it could've gone much worse. But the odds were in my favor; I felt so giddy thinking about it. Was I evil for being so happy that a man was now stuck in prison for 2190 days? I didn't care; I was so incredibly happy.

"Saima! Angie's calling!" Zayn called. I folded my mat and went over, grabbing my phone from him. After Angie and Abu Bakr's beautiful Honeymoon in the Maldives, Angie had moved in with him in Toronto, leaving me in the Suburbs. So I rarely saw my best friend now. She wanted to come and support me, but I told her not to when I could fill her in later.

It was later.

"Assalamualaikum Saima! How did it go!" She asked, not even bothering to beat around the bush. Her voice was slightly cautious as if she was treading on thin ice.

In a timid voice I replied, "It went" I started to pretend to choke up tears getting an eye roll from Zayn. I was evil, I really was.

"What! Saima What?!" Angie asked, her voice getting louder.

"He's in prison he was found guilty!" I screamed, at that Angie started to cheer, 

"Alhamdulillah!" She yelled, her voice was muffled for a second as she filled in Abu Bakr, who also started to cheer, 

I then laid down on the bed catching up with Angie as Zayn turned on the TV. He had said I could pick whatever I wanted to watch tonight, so I, of course, decided on a Harry Potter Marathon. I hung up the phone with Angie and focused my attention on the screen, yet my mind was elsewhere. The past year had been a lot to handle, and I never thought I'd get over it. I never thought I'd get hurt like that, but I did.

I never thought I'd feel beautiful, but I do.

I never thought I'd get hurt in the workplace like the way I did, but I did.

I never thought I'd recover from Amnesia, but I did.

I never thought I'd be able to face Robinson, but I sure as heck did today.

I never thought I'd get married, but here I am watching Harry Potter with my husband.

Oh, how the tables have turned. Life never goes as planned, now does it? Life is one heck of a thunderstorm, but what happens after the storm? A beautiful rainbow and lots of sunshine. That's life. I had made A Promise due to my fear of getting hurt. But without hurt, we don't grow, and if we let that fear control us, life won't be enjoyed. I would go through everything all over again if it meant I would be where I was today—lounging around, watching Harry Potter with a big bag of Cheetos and my husband complaining about how annoying Harry was.

I've prided myself on keeping my promises. I never told anyone that Sally Waechter was the one who pulled the fire alarm in third grade or that Finnick Armstrong ate worms in kindergarten. But the promise I made to myself all those years ago, when Mama and Baba were fighting.

I'm so glad I broke it, because look at me now.

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 I tried to keep the law part of this as accurate as possible but let me know if I messed anything up haha

also August 26 is a very important day in my life, any guesses to what it may be ;)

votes are always appreciated as well as your hilarious comments xoxo