When I fall, I fall hard.

Like, when I fall for SOMEONE, I fall hard.

It doesn't even matter if it's romantic or platonic. I also fall in love platonically (doesn't need to be a platonic crush, but I just grow to love someone in a platonic way).

That's why it's so hard to let go of things I love(d).

It's like... I mean, sure, everyone grieves when they lose a loved one (to death or because of a breakup or just lose contact).

But... I'm really cursed because when I fall for someone (again, romantic AND platonic), I get really really REALLY attached to them. Like, when I love you, prepare for random messages that say "I love you", veeery long texts at, like, 1am in which I express my love for you (*cough* right, Mavy? *cough*) or also half a book when you're not feeling good (*cough* Sellie can tell you about it *cough*).

I just want everyone around me that I love (not many people, but still) to feel like they are enough, I want them to be happy and if they are not, I wanna be the reason that they are again, that they can smile through their pain.

And losing someone I, for example, wrote those messages is like losing a piece of my soul or my heart. Because I gave it to them and they just leave with it. It's so fucking shitty. And I just can't get over this kind of losses.

No matter how hard I try, or how much time passes, I still can't let it go.

I just want everyone to be happy and feel loved. I'm trying to give that to my people. But why am I still trying when they are leaving anyway?

And I just wanna be someone's favourite person.

It just sucks.