Chapter 25: I've Been Thinking (A Dangerous Pastime, I Know)
Oliver stayed in the bathroom too long, trying to keep the tears from coming. This was supposed to be about Levi, not him.
But it had built and built and built. He always played it off like it wasn't a big deal, that he didn't need anyone, or that he had a million people at his beck and call whose adoration was all he needed, but it was all a lie. And that lie was crumbling.
He had Levi now. Levi, who he'd gotten so attached to so quickly. He hadn't planned on it. Oliver wasn't used to it at all—since graduating, he would talk to people, make them feel like he cared and was interested in the time they were spending together, but he never went out of his way to befriend anyone when it was so clear no one actually wanted to hang out with him, but with Gaston or the guy with a million followers.
With Levi, it was different. Levi scoffed at all the fame and popularity. He didn't care about any of the things the rest of the world did. It was a miracle, really, that he got to be friends with Levi. That he got to be forgiven and find a place in someone's life that was mutually beneficial, but also somehow more than that. It wasn't some shady deal, or because Oliver owed him (even though he did), but because they actually got along.
Despite everything, it was easy to be friends with Levi, who shared his love for Disney, who didn't speak unless he had something to say, who he could sit and be with and not feel pressured to perform or joke with. Who texted him back, and a lot of times texted him first, who needed him in ways Oliver wasn't used to being needed from someone his own age. He liked being needed.
Heck, he'd just scoured the entire park looking for the guy, panicking over what trouble he could have gotten himself into with a bunch of strangers, frantically increasing his pace every time he thought of potential Nora reactions to Levi telling her the truth. His legs still throbbed from all the fast walking he'd done, not to mention the way his stomach curled in on itself, the bile that threatened to rise in his throat when he'd spotted Kayden and Samuel, as if Levi was being held hostage. Throwing an arm around his shoulder had probably been too much, but he couldn't help himself. All those years he'd done nothing for him. All those years he, too, had basically been friendless. And finally he had someone. He wasn't going to leave him to get eaten by a Br'er Fox.
Oliver wasn't used to being protective over anyone but Sarah. It felt like some sort of ruse, like he was only doing it to settle his debt with Davy Jones (wow, he was thinking about Pirates way too much now), but it wasn't. Oliver cared about him. Oliver liked Nora, was completely comfortable being around her and liked joking around with her, but this was different. He knew when all things were said and done with relationship drama, Levi was going to be there. Levi, who he now depended on. Levi, who was rough around the edges, awkward, but genuine. And he hadn't met a genuine person since Sarah was born.
Well. And Nora. But he wasn't counting Nora.
He took a deep breath, hating how broken it was from the sobs that wanted to come out of him. He couldn't go out like this.
He really wished he could hug Sarah.
"Oliver?"
Oliver winced, but opened the stall door, going for a perplexed, casual expression. By Levi's face, it was clear he hadn't hit the mark.
"I didn't know meeting new people bothered you so much."
"It's an act, Levi. Friendship. You go around, collecting people to hang out with, to make other people think you're amazing, to boost this invisible score, and then you go home and you don't think about them and you don't actually care about them as human beings."
"I thought you said we were going to branch out."
"I thought we would." Maybe. Like in a year, or a few. He'd mostly said it for Levi.
"We're friends. Why is it impossible to make more?"
"It's some weird, twisted fluke." Hewould know. He'd had hundreds over the years. He knew every single person intheir schools growing up, done so many school and community activities, butthat didn't matter.
"You care about people."
"Not most people."
"I don't think they're like that," Levi commented. "They were telling me they have meetings. Like the ones Nora goes to. If we wanted to go."
"I'm not ready for that."
"Is it because it's a Christian thing?"
No. Yes. "Have you been to church, Levi?"
"A few times. Not recently."
Oliver glanced at him in the mirror before staring at the sink again. "Well, it's like high school. They find out you're talented, then they ask you to do a bunch of stuff for them, and they never ask if you want to do it and they guilt trip you if you don't."
"Maybe churches are like the Disney parks."
Oliver stared. "What?"
"Like how each one is different. Different aspects, sizes, people. Pros and cons."
He sighed. "Some churches are pop up carnivals with broken Ferris wheels that no one should be riding on."
"Yes. But from the looks of what Nora has experienced, it seems more like Disney to me."
Of course that was the analogy he'd chosen. "I'm not ready yet. And I don't understand why you're on board with meeting new people."
"Maybe they're right. Maybe we need more people. Like people who actually care."
"You don't know that they do."
"So far they haven't dumped us, despite what I just told them. They seem real."
"Fine. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt, for now," Oliver said. "But if they do anything towards either of us that I don't trust..."
Levi smiled. "You're really protective of me now."
Oliver rubbed his face. "I wasn't before. And..." His throat closed. I'm sorry.
"It's okay."
They washed their hands. Oliver wanted to wash off his face, but not in front of Levi. Even now, he felt the need to put on a fake persona, even though Levi knew exactly how he felt.
"We'll try this out with Samuel and Kayden. If it doesn't work, fine. But...I think we should. And not for Nora."
"She doesn't even know I'm here," Oliver muttered. Not that he was doing any of this to be impressive. He just wanted Levi to be okay.
Levi toed the wall. "I'd put in a good word for you to her, if my word meant anything."
"The last thing I want to talk about is dating." As if it wasn't weird enough that they both potentially liked the same girl and Levi was attempting to be a weird gentleman about it.
"Some Gaston you are."
Oliver gave him a look, then looked in the mirror, trying to figure out how to go out there without looking like someone had died.
"Don't do that. We need to stop doing that."
His lips thinned, annoyed that Levi knew exactly what he was doing.
"I don't want to pretend anymore," Levi said.
Oliver put his arm around Levi, staring at the two of them in the mirror. "I like you more than Jack."
"I don't think it's a big surprise that I like you more than Gaston."
"I know. I'm better."
Levi pushed him. "Ready?"
"Nope." But they went out the door anyway.
"So...is this happening tonight?" Oliver asked him.
Levi's steps had slowed. He kept bumping into Oliver, as if he couldn't stay in a straight line. "I'm surprised I can even walk without falling over right now."
Oliver grimaced, realizing he hadn't eaten dinner. Not that he felt hungry. "We're both about to keel over. We need to eat, even if you don't feel hungry."
"I've eaten my defeat."
"Sounds too salty. I was thinking something more solid and edible. What do you want?"
"Whatever is closest."
Which would be the Backlot Express. "I know we're good friends and all, but I am not eating a Disney burger. No sir."
It was one thing they seemed to agree upon—Disney burgers typically weren't worth it.
"But you'll eat the garbage pizza."
"It is not garbage pizza. Thank God Sarah didn't hear you call it garbage pizza." She'd made them eat it on their trip to Animal Kingdom, after all. "Plus you like the garbage pizza. It's nostalgic."
Levi laughed.
Oliver raised an eyebrow. "That's the first time I've heard you laugh. Ever."
"You're funny."
"Yeah, not that funny. I think you should just go home if you're this out of it."
"Food first. Garbage pizza first."
They ended up at Pizzerizzo, a Muppet's themed pizza place. Oliver ended up buying them both food, a vegetable pizza for Levi and a meat lovers for himself. Plus a cannoli, which he'd never tried before and wasn't exactly thrilled about, but his poor tired legs weren't going to carry him anywhere else and he wanted something with sugar.
Oliver was not looking forward to how much he'd have to go to the gym to make up for the greasy, carby goodness. He decided to pretend all he had was the side salad, because ignoring calories meant they didn't exist. Right?
Levi plastered his face into the table as soon as they sat down. "Maybe I should just sleep at quick service restaurants from now on."
"Just eat your pizza or no cannoli for you."
Levi did, slowly. He kept trying to do it with his head resting on the table, which was not working out well. It made Oliver feel like he had to force feed him.
Baby.
Oliver's energy didn't return as he ate, but at least his stomach was full. His head went down on the table as soon as he finished, ready to lull off. "I'm calling in sick tomorrow."
"I think I will too," Levi murmured.
"Another reprimand for us, then."
"Drink up, me hearties, yo ho," Levi croaked, reaching for his water and pushed it farther away, almost dozing.
"You're such a Jack—" Oliver looked up at the movement from the corner of his eye, finding Nora standing over their table, changing his sentence, "Ass."
Well. He wanted to go home now.
"Boys," Nora greeted, clearly not in a good mood, an eyebrow raised at Oliver for swearing at whoever she thought he was swearing at. "Is that really any way to greet a lady?"
"I was talking about him," Oliver said, pointing to Levi.
"Oh, hi Nora," Levi muttered into his arm. "I'm J—"
"—just so glad to see you," Oliver said, trying to push Levi into an actual sitting position by kicking him under the table.
Levi kept his eyes closed. "I said I'd tell her."
Oliver had thought Levi was making it up when he said he was cursed, but now he agreed. It was bad timing. It was always bad timing.
The irritation left her face. "Uh, are you guys okay?"
"Fine," Oliver answered for them. "I met your friends."
"Why are you even here? Did Levi ask you to come?"
"Yes. He's kind of not a people person, Nor."
"I know. I came to apologize, but then I got mad that he's hanging out with you when he promised me he'd try with them and neither of you bothered to let me know what was happening. And then Kayden and Samuel were acting weird, so it made me feel like something happened, and look at him. He looks ready to pass out."
"I'm like Shorty. From Tangled," Levi said, burying his face deeper into his arm. "A tall glass of water."
Oliver and Nora both stared at him. It was a great impression, but now really wasn't the time for Levi to show off his acting skills.
"Did you go out drinking?" Nora whispered, pinching Oliver's ear.
"Ow, let go! Of course we didn't," Oliver retorted, swatting her pinching fingers away. "We're just exhausted. He's an introvert and a Cast Member." Who hadn't been sleeping well, much less. "So don't worry, I'll get him back to his car."
"Captain to you," Levi mumbled.
"What did he say?" Nora asked.
"Ignore him." Oliver stood, his body screaming at him, his head almost woozy. He hauled Levi to his feet somehow. He was heavier than he looked. "Come on, Levi. We need to go."
"I need freedom. My thump thump is not fine."
Oliver recognized the thump thump thing from the movie, kind of, but now wasn't the time for Levi to go into character. "It was probably all the grease you just ate. Don't worry, I'll get you home."
Nora stared. "...So...today was fine?"
Oliver gave her a look. "You forced him to hang out with people he didn't know all day. He was not really happy about it and kept texting me to come save him because he was so uncomfortable. So just think about that—that he prefers my company to them."
"That seriously wasn't my intention." Nora hesitated. "And from the looks of it, you two get along really well despite your past."
Oliver grimaced. "They're actually pleasant. The guys I met. But still, please don't do that again."
"I liked it," Levi said. "I'm glad."
He wanted to shake him. "Okay, fine. It was helpful. But not again."
Levi's head rolled onto Oliver's shoulder. "I thought today would be a different sort of surprise."
Nora stepped closer. "Like what?"
"Leave it be, Nora," Oliver almost growled.
"What is up with you today?" Nora asked, bewildered. "You're being so defensive."
"I'm protective of him. Can you blame me? I screwed up so bad as a kid, so please just let me take care of him now."
"I want to take care of him too."
"Yeah?" His nerves were too frayed to handle this right now. "The best thing you can do is let me get him home and wait until tomorrow, after we all sleep, to do anything."
Nora did that thing where her lip pouted out stubbornly. It was something she kept doing more often. Oliver couldn't believe he'd had so few interactions with her and still knew that was something she did. "Okay. Fine."
Fine his butt. "It's just a lot going on. I've been worried about him all day. I'm exhausted. We'll catch up later this week."
"Okay, Oliver."
Levi was basically asleep on his shoulder. She crept forward, touching his cheek. "Hey. You have to walk now."
His eyebrows pulled down. "I request my ship."
Oliver held his breath. She pulled back, shaking her head. "I still say you guys had drinks."
Then she waved them goodbye and sent them on their way, leaving Oliver in disbelief that nothing worse had happened.
He nudged Levi along, who seemed permanently glued to his side, almost tripping him every time he took a step. "Is Nora mad at me for telling her?"
"You didn't tell her."
"I did."
"You dreamed that, then."
His head lulled towards the sky. "Blooming cockroaches."
"Yeah. That's what I keep saying." Oliver dragged him a good way through the park, splashing him with water from water fountains every chance he got until he could walk on his own. "You're like my second child, Levi. I've been feeding you and helping you walk."
"Please don't act like you're my dad."
Oliver immediately started using baby words and cooing.
Levi groaned, increasing his pace.
All his years of taking care of Sarah and finding out what motivated had paid off. Yay. "Are you okay to drive?"
"I seriously didn't tell her?" Levi asked, rubbing his eyes and nodding about his fine motor skills.
"Uh, no."
He blew a loud breath through his nose. "Okay. I'll have to."
Understatement. "You really are cursed with that. The not having a good moment to tell her."
"Tell me about it."
They made it to Levi's car, Oliver measuring how sure he looked on his feet, making sure he could make it home in one piece. "Soon."
"Soon."
He watched Levi drive off, taking a breath of relief when he didn't start swerving randomly. That was a good sign.
Oliver walked back to his own car, hands stuffed in his pockets, hoping that whenever Levi's secret did come out that it would go as well as possible—whatever that looked like.
Has Oliver grown on you? Is Levi cursed? Is the power of friendship real?
Question of the Chapter: What's your go-to treat at amusement parks, carnivals, or Disney?
-Flips
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