"KANEKI, WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT RULES?!!" Hide, the cowardly b*st*rd, slammed the door open.

THANK GOD!

"YOU F*CKING TURD!!"

"OH MY G*D, RYOU, WHAT THE h*LL HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE?!!"

"WHAT DO YOU THINK?!! I HAD A KAGUNE SHOVED UP MY EAR! YOUR STUPID KANEKI CAN'T DO SH*T, MAN! HE THOUGHT IT'D FIT LIKE A NORMAL CENTIPEDE, AND HE FAILED MISERABLY!"

"Y-yeah, I got that, okay, why don't you get the First Aid Kit, man, and I'll calm Kaneki down!"

"993. 986. 979. 972."

"Aaaaand he is already cuddling in a corner, counting down by sevens. Kaneki? Kaneki, you alright, buddy?" Hide carefully and cautiously walked over to the b*tch.

"Did I do bad, Hide?" Kaneki looked up at him, looking all innocent with tears in his eyes.

F*cking b*tch.. Liar. I hate people like him.

"No, no, that's okay, that's alright. I told you to drop those rules, didn't I? So why were you trying to put your centipede kagune in people's ears, Kaneki?"

"...I broke a rule.. I deserve a punishment.. I'm sorry, Hide.."

"Dude, you do not-" Hide took a deep breath. "Okay, fine, you deserve a punishment." Kaneki's frown deepened. "As your punishment, I declare that you will apologize everyone you shoved your kagune on, and you will treat their wounds. Okay?"

"Okay, Hide.." Kaneki stood up and did as he was told. Felt f*cking disgusting to have his hands on me, but I felt pretty superior, having him acting like my little b*tch maid.

Once Kaneki was finished treating us, he went right back to Hide.

"What should I do now, Hide?"

"Now? Uh.. Let's see.. How about.. you wipe the floors! As part two of your punishment."

"Okay, Hide.."

Hide is clearly not Master Material.

------------------------------------------------------------

"Hide, what about my centipedes?"

"Your centi-ah, I'm sorry, Kaneki, they were probably confiscated by the CCG."

"Aw.. but I worked so hard to get them as a reward.."

"... How about this then, Kaneki. As compensation, you get to choose a different reward. What do you want, buddy?"

"I want my 9,001 centipedes back. And I want my 12,563 centipedes that died back from the grave. Did you know me and my late Master would always put graves for my centipedes on our front lawn? And I named them when they died."

"...That's.. great, Kaneki. But I can't do that. The CCG took your 9,001 centipedes away, and those 12,551 centipedes-"

"12,563. You forgot 12 of my centipedes, Hide."

"..Right.. Those 12,563 centipedes are dead, and it's beyond my power to bring them back. I'm sorry, but you'll have to choose something else."

"... Can I f*ck you, Hide?"

"..." Hide sighed, "Alright, buddy, if that's what you really want as a reward.."

"Yay!"

"Are you sure you don't want 9,001 books though?"

"Oh. Then I want to f*ck you, and then I want 3,000 books. That's how much your sex is worth to me, Hide, 6,001 books," Kaneki's eyes sparkled.

"..Right.. thanks.. I guess."

"You're very welcome, Hide!"

{I feel like this is a good place to stop..., but it's so short.... I also don't know where to go from here.. Eh, whatever. Back to Akira!!}

------------------------

Unfortunately, Hide had to bring Kaneki with him, or Kaneki would go on a rampage at Anteiku.

"So, I'm not going to be able to leave Kaneki alone for a while, just until he gets this 'there-are-no-rules' thing down, but I can assure you, he will not kill. Right, Kaneki?"

"I will not kill," Kaneki repeated.

"Yea. So."

"...I want strict supervision on Kaneki Ken."

"Yes, ma'am.. -u-' "

------------------------------------

"So, you will be put in the Intelligence Division, of course. Ichinose will brief you on your new job."

"My name is Ichinose Koujimaku. Don't try any funny business, Nagachika, or I will report you."

"... I feel like he is very hostile, Mado-san."

"You're a ghoul now, Nagachika- get used to it. I have other things to do now, so I'll see you later," Mado walked away.

"..."

"The purpose of this new line of research that you will be joining is to lessen the deaths on our hands and pick out so-called innocent ghouls by making a way for ghouls to eat something other than flesh."

"Yeah, I know that already, I'm the one who came up with the idea."

"SO. You will be part of Group S1. You will experiment what you are told, Nagachika. If I tell you to put more Sulfur in it, you'll put more sulfur in it." Hide kept his mouth shut. "Is that understood, Nagachika?" Hide nodded. "Then, I will show you to your group."

Hide was led through the huge room. He tried to keep his questions inside. Hopefully, his group would be nicer, and he could ask them about any questions he had.

"Here we are. Group S1. Again, I repeat, do NOT try any funny business, Nagachika. It's what I hate most. After your stupid kind."

"... Right.. got that, sir."

Ichinose walked away.

"Haha, escorted by the boss, eh? I have no idea why he's the boss of this new line of research honestly," a voice commented, and Hide looked. The guy had red hair and a smirk. His eyes were green. "My name's Taiga Narino, nice to meet you," he held out his hand, and Hide shook it.

"Hideyoshi Nagachika. You can call me Hide. Nice to meet you too."

"So, what part will you be working on, Nagachika-san?" another person smiled softly. This boy had blue eyes and blue hair. He had a notebook in his arms.

"I'm experimenting exactly what I'm told to do, supposedly."

"Ah. Then we'll be working closely together. My name is Yuki Sagaru. I write down the experiments; I'm the recorder."

"The ingredients, effects, all of that stuff?"

"Yes. Clearly Koujimaku-san didn't explain very well to you, or were you just too unnerved to reply? You see, there are multiple groups in here, many, as you can see. Each group has five members- the experimenter, the recorder, the runner, the supervisor, and the tester. Taiga-kun is our tester. Our supervisor is Ichi here, and he's actually Koujimaku-san's son."

"Oh.. hey," Hide waved awkwardly with a nervous chuckle to the man who looked exactly like Ichinose, only younger. "Nice to meet you.."

"You won't be able to try any funny business with me around, Nagachika."

-u-'

"Daiyone..? Hahaha.."

"I'll be watching you thoroughly. And Yuki, the S1 Groups are the only ones with supervisors."

"Oh.. r-right.. Sorry."

"Oh? We have a new member?" a guy with curly hair stepped up. His hair was red, only with a slight tint of pink and orange, and it reached his shoulders. His eyes were purple.

"Yes, another experimenter, Hashiga-kun," Yuki smiled politely.

"Hey. What's up? My name's Hashiga Koumano, but you can call me whatever you want."

"F*ggot."

"Oi! You wanna fight, Narino?!!"

"Nah, I'd rather your hands be far away from me," Taiga smirked.

"Oh my G*d. Guys, I am so sick of fighting, can you guys please-"

"By the way, Nagachika-kun.." Yuki cocked his head, "Who is that white-haired person beside you? What will he be doing?"

"Huh? A-Ah, he's just here to wander."

"Hide, can I speak now?"

"Dude, you just spoke. Sure."

"Okay. So, why are we in the CCG?"

"I told you this already-Mado-san offered me a job in return for immunity, so I took it."

"I'm still confused, Ma-Hide."

"Dude, you don't have to worry about a thing, man. Just stay there. You're my bodyguard, remember?"

"I'll protect you, Hide."

"Yeah. So, just stay here. That's all you need to do. Don't worry about anything else, man."

Kaneki gave an intense look to Koumano {All these f-ing OCs.}, "Keep your hands off Hide, or I'll cut them off with my kagune." Koumano's eyes widened.

"Dude, I am not into that."

"Now, now, Kaneki, there's no need to be hostile. Keep your hands and kagune off the investigators! Okay?"

"But I'm your bodyguard."

"Dude, he won't hurt me."

"He's gay."

"...Dude, he will not touch me in that way. Okay? So don't worry about it."

"Hide is mine."

"Yea, yea, we got that, buddy. Okay? Uh, Sagaru-san, you said 'another' experimenter?"

"Yes. Hashiga-kun is our runner, so he's not always here. That's why he wasn't here when you first came, but..." Yuki glanced around. "Ah, there she is. She'd gone to get a drink of water."

"Oh."

"She needs to keep her hands off too."

"Dude, nobody's gonna be touching me, okay?"

A girl with black hair that went beyond her waist {I can't f-ing spell waist. Or smell apparently. I mean.. ah ghoul darn it.} and colorless eyes stepped up and looked at Nagachika and Kaneki.

"Who's this?"

"This is Nagachika Hideyoshi, Miyako-san. He'll be working beside you as another experimenter."

"And the man beside the one with bright clothing?"

"That is..?" Yuki looked at Hide for clarification.

"Oh, right. This is Kaneki Ken, my best friend."

"Hide is my Master."

"...He's mental. We're trying to get him to ease back into society.."

"Geez, I couldn't tell he was insane from the waY HE THREATENED TO CUT MY HANDS OFF WITH KAGUNE. What the h*ll, man?!! Why are you even joking about having kagune?!"

"A-Ah, uh.. he's not-owch. What?" Hide looked beside him, where a red kagune was slithering.

"Your kagune came out, Hide."

"Yes, I can see that, Kaneki," Hide tried to put it back.

"WHOA, WHAT THE F*CK, DUDE?!!"

"You don't force it back with your hands, Hide."

"I'm still not used to this thing, okay, Kaneki? Give me a break, it has its own mind."

"Then control it like you control me, Hide."

-_-'

"That's not how it works, Kaneki. Ah! Finally! Why did it poke me like that?"

"Because you wanted it to poke you."

"I did not want it to poke me, Kaneki."

"Kagune are nice sex tools."

"Kaneki, you need to get sex off the mind."

"Okay."

"Sorry about that, I only just recently found out that I'm a half-ghoul, so..."

._.

"RED ALERT, GHOUL ON THE PREMISES!!" Hashiga yelled.

"Calm down, you idiot," Ichi snarled, "The CCG is fully aware of both of their species! But, don't expect me not to report that your little friend there threatened to cut off some hands with his kagune, and don't expect me not to report that you took your kagune out."

"The CCG is fully aware that I cannot control my kagune yet as well, Ichi ni sun."

"What."

"Sorry, that just came out. I don't even know what I meant by that. 'Ichi ni sun'."

"Keep your kagune under wraps, Nagachika. I may be in the Intelligence Division, but I still have a quinque because I used to be in the other Division. So, I will not hesitate to kill you and the Eyepatch there."

"I don't have my eyepatch."

"...What the h*ll is wrong with him?"

Sigh..

"A lot, man, you have no idea.."