Hello, excuse me?

I'm sorry, I don't mean to bother you,

but I think I've loved you in a past life.

I know this sounds crazy,

and that I'm just a stranger to you,

but do you happen to remember a party?

It's fuzzy to me, after all,

the pieces have been lost after an eternity of childhoods,

each lifetime a chess game of puzzle pieces,

I know neither of us really remember which piece is which pawn.

But I remember you.

I think I knew you.

I think there was a party,

once upon a different time,

and you were loved by another soul.

I think you and her were meant to be,

until death did you part,

but you have parted, haven't you?

I think I was jealous,

I think I knew our souls fit together, my hand in yours,

I think I knew myself better than that single life I had to live.

I think I remember shoving you.

I couldn't understand

how you couldn't see me for who I really was,

I think I was angry that even I didn't know who I am.

I think when I shoved you, I saw the look in your eye.

I think you realized that it was me behind the mask.

I think, at that moment, behind all the rage and the jealousy, you saw the real me,

the me who gave you kisses before you got in that car,

the me who made playlists before your adventures.

The me who doesn't know herself any more than she knows a total stranger,

the me who hasn't even lived enough lifetimes to recognize her own name.

I think you realized something that day.

I think it scared you.

Because when I walked away,

you didn't call out to me,

or ask if she was okay,

or tell me off, no,

no, my darling,

you just stood there.

Because when you witness something miraculous,

when you come to a revelation,

you realize that there is no action, no thought

that could make this miracle any less of a miracle.

You realized that you were no more immortal than the stories I wish to tell,

so you did the one thing you were able to do:

you watched me.

At that party,

you just watched me.

I went on with my lives, I had my fun,

at times I cried but you were always there, one step ahead,

protective.

Even when I didn't know my ups from downs you kept me seeing the truth,

even while I was blind to the realities you wrote it down for me.

You left her.

And when I was ready,

I sat down next to you.

I sat down, tired and confused.

I had forgotten who you were,

I was the strongest I'd ever been.

I sat down, and you smiled at me.

You placed a gentle kiss on my forehead and with a singular hello,

everything came rushing back to me.

I knew who you were.

I saw you for everything you truly are.

I smiled at you,

I returned your greeting,

I asked when you knew.

And you replied.

It wasn't the twinkle in your eyes while I shoved you, my love.

That's not what made you change.

It was when I walked away.

It was when I gave up,

when I ran from you,

when I let my anger and fear and sadness consume me,

when I threw that all away,

that's when you saw me for who I really was.

I don't let myself care.

When I'm afraid that the world has given me more than I can handle,

I erase the list I've been given.

I limit myself to my insecurities.

You love me for what I hate most about myself.

You know that you can show me the light.

You know that not enough picnics or car trips or stories will complete me,

so you choose simple kindness instead.

You know me.

I just want to know you.