I've never been able to answer the question:

What do you want to be when you grow up?

I've never wanted to grow up.

I've never been able to see myself in thirty years,

emptying the trash while getting my daughter to do her homework.

I've never been able to lean back in an office chair,

counting down the ticking seconds until I clock out,

going back home to my little New York apartment

where I watch the taxis drive by from my tenth story window,

a book transporting me to another world held like a trophy in my hands,

covered in a blanket that's seen every journey up to this passing second.

I still don't know who I am.

I still don't recognize my name.

My face is attached to my body,

but this body is not mine.

I think I was born into the wrong life.

I think the real me is on an adventure,

driving up the coast with her boyfriend,

living the life of a fairytale,

a princess playing peasant for the day.

Do you ever wish that you could time travel?

I want to ask myself who I'm supposed to be.

What should I learn to love,

who is going to stick with me when they get out of work at five?

Will I ever feel like I'm the main character?

We are told in this world, constantly,

that we have all but one life, and that we should live it to the fullest.

What if the true way of living is taking joy in the simple monotony?

My hands touch these keys,

making a clack as the plastic touches the electronics of my computer,

little pixels lighting up on the screen,

my thoughts becoming a reality.

This is living.

There is blood, little cells of hemoglobin

and amino acids and thymine and atoms and protons and quarks,

I am just a science experiment.

I am all these little moving pieces working together

to try to bring just a little amount of joy.

I am just a person

trying to make those around me smile.

I don't need to be a princess.

Honestly, I don't ever want to get into a sword fight.

Paper cuts are the end of the world.

It's okay if I never pester a little girl

into taking first day of school pictures,

or if I never go on a picnic with somebody I have yet to love.

Because those are the elements of a fairytale.

And I am much more of a miracle.