"They all float down here" - Pennywise, the dancing clown.

(I do not own the characters of this story)

Luan Loud, was a 14 year old girl. She had 9 sisters and one brother. She loved pranks and comedy.

Soon she would meet someone who will change her life forever.

One day Luan was walking out side in the rain, when she heard a voice coming from a storm drain.

"Hey kid, come here" Said the voice.

A bit scarred, Luan cautiously walked to the storm drain.

"Hello?" She said to the storm drain.

Then a man dressed as a clown appeared in the storm drain.

"Hi Luan." Said the man, "My name is Pennywise the dancing clown."
"Punnywise huh?" Said Luan. "I suppose you're here to give me your two cents. Ha ha! Get it!"

"Oh that was a very good pun Luan." Said Pennywise. "I see you like comedy."

"Sure do." Said Luan. "I have my own business, Funny Business inc. I perfume at birthday parties and make kids laugh."

"So you're a clown too huh." Said Pennywise.

"Yep." Said Luan. "Hey I bet your job is pretty draining, ha ha! Get it?"

"Uh yeah." Said Pennywise. "You know if you come down here, I can show you some tricks that will really spice up your act. I'll even give you a balloon."

"A balloon?"

"Yes a Luan, a balloon." Said Pennywise. "It even floats. They all float down here."

"Well whatever floats you boat." Said Luan. "Ha ha, get it? No but seriously I'm gonna have to decline, for all know you could be some, oh I don't know, cosmic entity of consumption that lives only to consume everything, but mostly children, in an endless cycle of feeding, and sleeping. And you could, I don't know, have the ability to take the form of anything, in this case a clown, in order to fool unsuspecting children such as myself, with your true form being something so horrible, my mortal mind can't even comprehend it."

Pennywise stared at the girl with a blank look. "What the fuck?"

"Or you know, you could just be a giant spider." Said Luan.

"Fuck it." Said Pennywise, "I'm just gonna kill you, you little brat."

"uh... come again?"

Then Pennywise reached out his hand to grab Luan.

"WAAAAAAAHHHH!" Luan shrieked as she narrowly avoided the killer clowns grasp. Then she ran the other way as fast as she could.

As she ran she looked behind her, to see Pennywise chasing after her. "Oh come on, you can't take a joke!" Luan yelled back at the killer clown.

Luan ran past a food cart. She took a banana and gave a few bucks to the sales man. "Keep the change!" She said.

As she ran she ate the banana as fast as she could, and tossed the peel over her shoulder.

Pennywise then slipped on the banana peel, and fell to the ground.

"Have a nice trip!" Luan called back, "I'll sewer you later! GET IT?!?!"

...

Luan arrived back at her house, she was out of breath, and soaked from the rain. Her heart was going at a million miles an hour.

"Hey Luan, you ok?" Asked her younger brother Lincoln.

"I don't wanna talk about it!" Luan snapped. Then she went up to her room.

After a few moments she sighed. She had snapped at her brother for no reason. What happened wasn't Lincoln's fault, she had to apologize.

Luan walked downstairs, to see Lincoln walking in the front door.

"Hey Link you got a sec." Luan said.

"Sure" Said Lincoln.

"About earlier, I'm sorry I yelled at you." Luan apologized. "Some really creepy guy was chasing me today, he wanted to hurt me. I was in a state of panic when I came home. I shouldn't have yelled at you. You did nothing wrong."

"What are you talking about?" Lincoln asked, confused. "I've been at Clyde's all day. I just got home now, this is the first time I'm seeing you at all today."

Luan froze, a look of shock spread across her face. "Then that means..." She stammered.

Then she looked outside and saw Pennywise dancing in the yard, pointing at Luan and laughing.

"That's him!" Luan shouted, "That's the guy! That's Pennywise!"

Lincoln took a look outside. "I don't see anything." Lincoln informed her.

"Wah, but.... he..." Luan stammered.

"Ah ha ha" Pennywise laughed. "The only ones who can see or hear me, are the one I WANT to see or hear me."

Luan gulped.

"Luan Loud, I think I'll make you go insane, before I kill you." Pennywise threatened. Then he started to laugh, "Hu Ha hu ha hu ha!"

"You ok Luan?" Lincoln asked.

"Y-yeah I'm fine" Said Luan, as Pennywise appeared beside her, and started to laugh really loudly in her ear. "Everything is just peachy."

...

The following week was Hell for Luan.

She sat down for breakfast. Pennywise sat beside her, squirting water in her face.

"You ok sweetie?" Her mother asked "You're sweating like crazy."

"Just a little hot in here is all." Luan said through clenched teeth.

"Say Luan." Said Pennywise. "Water, your plans for the day, get it? Hu ha hu ha hu ha"

Luan's eye began to twitch.

...

That day in school, Luan couldn't hear a word the teacher was saying, as Pennywise stood next to her blowing an air horn in her ear.

I am not going to learn a thing with this guy around Luan thought, I don't know how much more of this I can take.

"Luan," Said the teacher.

"WHAT?!?!" Luan tried to yell over Pennywise (who again, only she could see.)

"No need to yell Luan." Said the teacher.

The whole class started to laugh at her. The one time she didn't want people to laugh.

"Have you been listening to a word I said?" The teacher asked.

"NO!" Luan replied.

...

For that, Luan got detention.

Pennywise continued to laugh hysterically as Luan sat in the detention room, staring at the clock.

"So what are you in for?" Asked the girl next to her. A moody looking Goth girl, wearing a blue T-shirt over a black and white stripped long sleeve shirt. "I'm Maggie" the girl introduced herself in a monotone voice that would make Luan's sister Lucy proud.

"I'm Luan." Luan said, "I was disrupting class."

"Nice." Said Maggie.

"Hey Luan." Said Pennywise. "Is this your GIRFIEND? The fans seem to think so!" Pennywise laughed as he held up a couple of fans.

"Hey don't I know you from somewhere?" Said Meggie. "You performed at my birthday party once didn't you."

"Maybe" Said Luan. "I do perform at parties. I don't usually remember my clients though, at least not after the gig is finished. No offense or anything, but, I just see so many people at these things, the faces and the names just start to meld together. I'm sure I'd remember you otherwise."

"You saw each other once, and didn't even have a real conversation." Said Pennywise. "Everyone knows that means you're in love!"

"Just as well" Said Maggie, "No offense Luan, but I always found clowns to be a bit annoying, and even creepy."

"Oh you have no idea." Said Luan, staring at the front of the room.

"Luan and Maggie sitting in a tree." Pennywise taunted. "K I S S I N G"

Luan's face started to get red. Suddenly she stood up. "I NEVER EVEN MET THIS GIRL IN MY LIFE!!!!" She yelled. "JUST BECAUSE I DID A SHOW FOR HER DOESN'T MEAN I'M IN LOVE WITH HER!"

"You're in love with me?" Maggie asked.

"What no! I'm not! I was just!" Luan stammered.

"Woah girl." Said Maggie. "Look I have no problem with homosexuality, but I don't swing that way, ok. I'm sure you're a really nice girl, and any other girl would be lucky to have you. But I'm just not into that ok. We can be friends if you want but..."

"What? No, I'm not a lesbian, I... GAH!" Said Luan. "PPPEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYWWWWWWWIIIIIIIISSSSSEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!"

...

Luan sat awake in her room that night, trying to get to sleep, but couldn't because Pennywise was standing in her room blowing his blow horn and dancing aroung.

Of course Luan's sister, and roomette Luna, couldn't hear a word Pennywise said, nor could she see him.

"Hay Luan." Pennywise said. "You know, I don't require sleep, so this party can go all night. Hu ha hu ha hu ha."

Luan started to cry.

...

This went on day after day. Everywhere Luan went Pennywise fallowed.

Sometimes he'd poke fun at her, sometimes he would pull pranks on her, other times he would just dance around and laugh at her.

Eventually she formed dark circles under her eyes, and her face got pale.

One day Luan was walking home from school, doing her best to ignore the supernatural clown dancing around her.

"Hey Luan!" Said a voice from behind her. She turned around to see Benny, the boy she had had a crush on for some time.

"B-Benny," Luan said. "W-what are you doing here?"

"Actually." Benny said nervously, "I uh... I wanted to ask you out."

"Really?!?!" Luan said with a smile. She felt a wave of joy wash over her. FINALLY something good happening in her life.

"Well I was going to..." Said Benny. "But then I heard you were actually dating that Maggie girl."

Luan's hopeful smile quickly turned into a frown.

"So I just wanted to say." Benny continued. "I fully support your love with Maggie. And don't worry I'll never even THINK about asking you out again. I would never want to get between you and Maggie."

Luan's jaw dropped.

"Well, have a good day." Benny said as he left.

"Oh ccoooooommmmmmmmmeeee ooooooooooonnnnnnn!" Luan moaned as she dropped to her knees. She then started to cry into her hands. "Why are you doing this to me?"

...

Later that night Luan again sat awake in her bed. She had not slept for almost a week.

"Hey Luan." Said Pennywise, picking up Luna's guitar. "How about a base solo."

Luan looked at Pennywise, holding Luna's guitar. Slowly a smile formed on Luan's face as she realized something.

"Hey Luna!" She whispered, she then threw a pillow at Luna to wake her up.

"Ah what is it sis? I..." Luna said as she jerked herself awake. "Holy CRAP MY GUITAR IS FLOATING!" Luna screamed.

Pennywise looked down at the guitar, then back at the girls.

"No one else can see or hear YOU." Luan explained, "But that's Luna's guitar, it's not part of you."

"Ugh." Pennywise groaned. "Alright then." Then Pennywise made himself visible.

"GAH!" Luna screamed. "Someone's broken into our house!"

"What's going on." Cried the oldest sister Lori as she barged into the room, holding a gulf club.

Pennywise turned around to see Lori.

"Who are you and what are you doing in my little sisters room?" Lori asked.

"He's the guy who's been tormenting me for days!" Luan said, pointing at Pennywise. "He said once he's done making me go crazy, he's going o KILL me!"

"So." Said Lori. "You think it's a good idea to pick on my sister huh?" Lori then smacked Pennywise in the head with her gulf club.

Pennywise then stumbled out into the hall, where he was met with the angry faces of 10 angry girls, and one equally angry boy.

"Ah ha ha ha ha." Pennywise chuckled. "You really think a bunch of children can beat me... ha ha ha. I am the destroyer of worlds, the eater of..."

THWACK.

Before Pennywise could finish Lynn chucked a baseball right into Pennywise's face.

"Batter up!" Lynn yelled, as she swung her bat into Pennywise's stomach, sending him tumbling down the stairs.

"Ah, Damnit! Fuck! Shit! Ass! Fuck!" Pennywise yelled as he tumbled down the stairs.

Once he reached the bottom, Pennywise sat up, and held his knee in pain.

"fffffffffffffffffff aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh ffffffffffffffff aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh." Pennywise moaned. "ffffffffffffff aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh fffffffffffffffff aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh ffffffffffffff aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh fffffffffffffff aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh fffffffffffff aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh"

This went on for several minutes.

Soon Pennywise found himself surrounded by the loud siblings (even the baby)

Pennywise got up and starred at them for a minute. "Uuuuuhhhhhh...."

"You mess with one of us..." Said Lincoln, "You mess with all of us."

"GET HIM!!!!!!" Lola cried.

"Poo Poo!" Cried Lily, the baby.

Then all 11 loud siblings (including the baby) dog piled on top of Pennywise, and started to beat the ever living shit out of him.

Pennywise managed to get himself free of the kids. He walked into the center of the living room. "Now you little brats have done it! Now you're all going to DIE!"

Pennywise then transformed into a giant spider.

"Huh." Said Luan. "Guess I was right about the giant spider. Who knew?"

"AAAAHHHHHHH!" Leni yelled. "GIANT SPIDER!!!!!!!" She then ran out of the room.

Pennywise the giant spider then picked up Lincoln and slowly brought him to his mouth, to eat him.

But before Pennywise could eat Lincoln, Leni rushed in with a broom and started hitting Pennywise with it.

"Ew ew GROSS!" Leni said as she beat the giant spider, causing it to let go of Lincoln.

Lincoln fell to the ground. Luan rushed over to pick him up.

"Luan," Said Lincoln, as Luan held him in her arms. "I... I... I don't think I'm gonna make it."

"No Lincoln, don't say that." Luan pleaded. "Please you can't die Lincoln."

"Goodbye... Luan." Lincoln coughed. Then he closed his eyes and went limp.

"Nnnnnnoooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!" Luan cried.

"Actually" Said Lincoln as his eyes shot back open. "I think I'm gonna be ok." He got up and brushed himself off. "all he did was pick me up a bit."

"Then why were you acting so dramatic." Asked Luan. "I thought I was going to lose you forever."

"You can consider that payback for all those April Fools pranks you've pulled over the years!" Lincoln told her.

"Well played." Said Luan. "Now let's go deal with the giant spider."

Lincoln ad Luan joined their siblings in beating up Pennywise, the giant spider.

They kicked and punched at the spider, They also swung whatever blunt objects they could find at it.

Some of the siblings managed to climb on its back, and started punching its head, and poking its eyes.

"You'll never defeat me." Cried the spider. "I am all powerful... the eater of worlds.... And.... And the eater of children.....I GRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH."

The monster the rolled onto it's back, and curled up its legs.

Pennywise the giant spider.... Was dead.

The Louds then drug the corps of Pennywise out to the back yard and buried him.

"Well that was easy." Said Luan.

"Yeah" Said Lucy, "I thought for sure at least one of us would die."

"Yeah." Said Lincoln. "Then we'd spend almost an entire page mourning their death."

"Or we'd have some flash back to show our connection to the character." Said Luna.

"Well." Said Luan. "I'm just glad it's finally over. Thanks for helping me guys. I don't know how I can ever repay you."
"Don't sweat it." Said Lori. "You family, we look out for each other, it's what we do."

Then they all went back inside.

Luan flopped onto her bed.

She smiled, the silence was music to her ears.

She closed her eyes and fell asleep.

That night...

Luan Loud slept better than she had in years.

The end.

Or is it?

No it is. Story's over, bye.

You're still here. It's over, go home.

Bahahahaha! by now you've realized that this story has just been a prank the whole time! I built it up as an intense horror, but in actuality it's just a goofy comedy.

The description of this story is all a lie (other than the fact that Pennywise is in it). No one but Pennywise dies, the only one who faces any sort of inner demons is Luan, and it's not even scary. In fact this is probably one of the funniest stories I've written, so far. I even threw in a reference to Family Guy, and Ferris Bueller's day off.

Also, as far as the part about "The most terrifying monster in cinema", yeah, Pennywise is not that. Personally I find Pennywise (the Tim Curry version) to be at best, hilariousness, and at worst, obnoxious and annoying. (More often than not, it's the first one).

Here's the REAL synopsis of my story: 

In "A Penny Earned is a Pennywise" I poke fun at The Loud House, Stephen King's It, horror cliches, fan ships, and even myself. As Luan Loud gets her own Luan, in Pennywise The Dancing Clown (AKA IT).

I have not read the book IT, but I have seen the original movie/mini series IT. And while everyone else thought it was the scariest thing ever, I found it quite comical (mainly thanks to Tim Curry). Honestly I LOVED the original IT movie/mini series, it's something I had a blast watching, and that's what I tried to capture here.     

I thought this would be a fun story to write, in the honor of the IT remake that hits theaters September 8th.

And unlike this story, the IT remake looks like it might be pretty scary. I know I'm gonna see it.