I think I'm so afraid of everything because of my stepmom.

I was physically and emotionally hurt by her a lot, and I lived with her when I was young and impressionable.

When I'd get in trouble, she'd send me to my room and come in after me, then repeatedly beat me. It wasn't enough to make me bleed, but it was enough to hurt and bruise me, and it was enough to make me scream and cry.

I especially remember the merciless, angry look in her eyes when she did so.

I remember how she'd threaten me into doing things I didn't want to do.

She'd force me to eat food I didn't like.

She sometimes didn't believe me when I told the truth.

When she wasn't emotionally traumatizing me, she acted like I was the baby of the family and was overprotective.

She'd always hover over me, asking if I was okay, seeing if I needed anything...

I mean, she acted nice more than she acted mean, but it was when she was mean that really scarred me.

Even my stepsiblings acted similarly...

Sure, they were normally nice to me, but there were moments where my youngest stepbrother and youngest stepsister especially yelled at me.

The older two didn't have as much trouble.

My oldest stepbrother is who was the ULTRA nicest.

Even when the younger one was mean to me, my older one defended me.

And after they were gone, the younger one acted nicer than ever before.

He and I were best friends.

And now he's gone.

And I'll never see him again.

I miss him.

I miss my other stepsiblings.

I...

I miss having fun with them...

And talking to them...

...