Roman grazed the rumpled sheets beside him. The comforter on the other half of the bed had been pulled back completely. The pillows were propped up against the headboard instead of lying flat. Soft fabric was cold to the touch, meaning the spot had been vacant for quite some time.

A quick peek over the edge didn't reveal a sliver of light beneath the doorway. The hallway appeared dark. Feet shuffles couldn't be heard. Neither could the television in the living room. There weren't any noises coming from the bathroom either.

It was entirely possible Jensen decided to relax outside to not disturb anyone else by making noise.

Roman still shivered at the knowledge of him being alone.

He'd only just startled awake from a terrible nightmare.

In it, he was walking through an endless field of vibrant grass stalks. He distinctly remembered how the grass brushed against his bare legs, along with the warmth of a half-hidden sun surrounded by a pink and purple sky.

He couldn't say how long he'd walked for.

After some time, though, Roman found Jensen in the field, facing the sun. Roman attempted to continue forward, only to have his arms seized from behind. He found himself restrained by Rachel, Jack, and Audrey. Dorian stood a few feet behind them, his face conflicted, making no move to help or stop them.

The trio holding onto Roman tried to pull him back in their direction. He fought their gestures with all his might. They began to whisper how Roman was where he belonged; how he was with the people he deserved to be around; how he was making a mistake by trying to leave them behind.

Roman tore his arms free. He struggled through the field as the ground beneath him became thick with mud. It tried to swallow him up to either slow or halt his steps. 

Roman continued to fight. He clawed his way through the mud until he was able to grab Jensen's wrist.

And as soon as their bodies made contact, Jensen disappeared.

Being grabbed again and jolted backward was harrowing enough for Roman to wake up, his body darting upward in bed. 

Grogginess still lingered. Even so, he had a solid enough grip on reality to know his nightmare had only been a culmination of the stress he'd been trying to ignore. Roman's mind tended to get pretty loud before he fell asleep. It wasn't surprising his subconscious came up with such a distressing scene when his thoughts strayed to dark places while his guard was down.

Roman felt... empty on the inside. Cold. Like he'd crashed into a wall of ice and had been blanketed by its freezing clutches.

The overall silence around him was nice.

Residing in a tranquil environment helped to drive away some of the panic he was experiencing.

A faint vibration came from his phone lying face down on the nightstand. He glanced at the time, frowning at the late hour. His eyes squinted at the device's bright screen.

A pang of disappointment swarmed his chest in response to a string of messages.

Dorian

You don't have to answer me but I really do need you to know that I'm sorry

I didn't mean what I said to you

Should've never said it in the first place

I know I can't take it back but I hope you believe me

I know I have to do a lot of thinking on my part

I do care a lot about Audrey and my feelings for her are really strong. But I care about you too. So it's been really hard to figure out who I'm supposed to believe. That's no one else's thing to worry about though. I need to sory through things on my own

Sort*

You don't have to answer me if you don't want to. I just wanted you to know that I really am sorry

Love you Ro

Roman read through each sentence carefully. His face remained void of emotion, but he couldn't contain a worn out sigh. Dorian's messages were difficult to get through. Both because Roman's sorrow about their separation was still fresh, and because he couldn't really say whether or not any of those confessions could be believed.

Love had the ability to change people — not always for the better.

Before Audrey, Dorian was trustworthy. He was a patient ear to listen and a welcome voice of reason. He constantly tried to make sure Roman was doing okay. Dorian pushed his cousin to be unapologetically himself after living a life where Roman hadn't been able to.

After Audrey, Dorian became unsafe. He cared about her words and wishes more than anyone else's. He willingly followed her despite seeing signs of her being manipulative and secretive. He stopped listening to those who only wanted to defend him from a woman who hadn't been known for being a good person.

Audrey became Dorian's world to the extent of pushing him to sully his positive relationships.

Him finally deciding to take a step back and rethink things was a good thing. It didn't automatically mean Roman was in a healed enough state to care, though.

Roman

I need time to sort through stuff myself

Whenever, if ever, I'm ready to talk to you again then I'll let you know

Until that happens please don't contact me again

With that, Roman blocked Dorian's number.

Roman didn't want to stress about whether his next text or call would be yet another reminder of their complicated relationship.

Making himself a nice, hot drink would be a better way to utilize his time.

Roman climbed out of bed with a shiver. He pulled on one of Jensen's sweaters, inhaling the familiar scent which clung to the fabric. Roman's body slackened in response to the fragrance. He toyed with the neckline to keep his mind occupied for the time being.

Jensen was seen lying down on one of the couches outside with an empty plate and mug on the table in front of him. He held up a piece of jewelry, inspecting it. His gaze pointed toward the starry sky above, only shifting when the kitchen lights turned on.

Roman barely had a chance to wave before Jensen made a beeline for the door.

"What're you doing up?" he asked, his deep voice hardly above a whisper.

"I could ask you the same."

Jensen nodded in the direction of his dishes. "I got hungry and made a snack. What about you?"

Roman raked a hand through his messy hair, fiddling with a strand which pooled over his cheek. "Bad dream. I can't sleep, so I figured I'd make tea."

"I'll do it. You relax."

Roman was guided to sit at the island. He watched Jensen fill up the electric kettle, readying a porcelain mug, a green tea bag, and some sugar for later. Roman traced the edge of the spice rack in front of him. A coffee stirrer was accepted with a quiet, tired thanks.

"You seem tense," Jensen noted as he stood behind Roman to circle both arms around his waist.

Roman tilted his head back to rest against Jensen's chest. "...Dorian reached out. It was a lot to take in. I told him not to text me again and that I would if I was ready."

"That's completely reasonable considering everything that's happened. I'm glad you were able to make that boundary for yourself."

Roman hummed in a noncommittal fashion. He twirled around on his barstool, commenting, "I noticed you and Melia making stuff before we started our movie earlier. Were you able to finish?"

Jensen answered by presenting a beautiful necklace for Roman to look at.

The simple design consisted of a silver chain with a moonstone and alexandrite stone. The two stones dangled above the bottom curved section of a crescent-shaped pendant. Turning the pendant around revealed a small, crudely-shaped engraving of a heart on the back.

Roman smiled, his pointer finger caressing the moonstone. "That's really cute."

"I'm glad you think so."

Jensen brought the necklace around Roman's neck. The metal clasps were connected so the piece of jewelry could be where it belonged.

"You... made this for me?"

Jensen scratched at his cheek, glancing off to the side when the area gained a tinge of color. "I know you like things that are less expensive, more personal. So, yeah. I thought I'd make you a necklace instead of buying you one. You really liked when I helped make you that cup for your birthday. I just figured."

Roman held back the habitual urge to say Jensen didn't need to do so much. Instead, he answered with a touched, "Thank you."

Jensen shrugged. "It's- it's nothing. We've been keeping you busy, but I could tell you were still feeling down. And now you're telling me you're having nightmares. I'd say it's pretty good timing. I just thought you could use a little pick-me-up."

Roman scooted forward so he could bring Jensen in for a proper hug. Sitting down put Roman at a shorter height and allowed his ear to rest directly atop Jensen's heart. Roman nuzzled at the spot, sighing in relief in regard to a gentle hand settling on top of his head.

They stayed that way, wrapped in each other's arms, until the electric kettle signaled it was finished. Roman's tea was prepped accordingly. They made their way back outside to sit down together. The light from the kitchen offered enough added illumination for them to see each other while relaxing on the otherwise ill-lit deck.

An arm wrapped around Roman's shoulders to keep him warm. He cuddled against Jensen and held the steaming cup of tea close to savor its aroma.

Chirping crickets and water ripples filled the silence around them.

Roman could make out a patch of moonlight between the trees on the lake's surface. The water sparkled in such a stunning way, he was partially tempted to take a late night dip. Roman would've asked if not for some persistent bad dream jitters.

"What was it about? If you don't mind me asking."

"Huh?"

"Your nightmare."

Roman fiddled with the floral design on his cup. "It... was pretty stupid."

"Stupid or not, it scared you. Bad enough to keep you from going back to sleep peacefully. That can only mean it really struck a bad chord."

Roman couldn't argue with that.

"...It was about my parents. And my ex. And Dorian. Aside from my cousin, they were trying to get me to stay with them and physically held me back to keep me away from you. When I was able to free myself and get to you, you... disappeared. Vanished right out of my hands. Them trying to grab at me again once I was alone was the last thing that happened before I woke up. You weren't next to me in bed, so... I panicked a little. I'm okay now, though."

A gentle kiss was pressed against Roman's head. "You know I would never leave you like that."

"I know. I guess it just really got to me that you weren't there when I woke up. I've... gotten used to sharing a bed with you. It didn't feel right that you weren't with me."

Jensen didn't say anything. Instead, his free hand settled on Roman's thigh to act as a grounding weight. Additional kisses were peppered along his temple, cheek, and jaw. He was pulled in even closer to sit directly on Jensen's lap. The change in position made it easier for Roman to be embraced.

Or treasured, as he saw it.

Roman couldn't remember a moment where he didn't feel safe in Jensen's arms.

Roman... never wanted to leave them.

"Jay. Can I ask you something?"

"Anything, sweetheart."

"It might be a little much."

Jensen shook his head, smoothing his fingers along the back of his gifted necklace. "When it comes to you, nothing is too much."

Roman took a long sip of his slightly too hot tea. The cup was placed next to the dishes sitting on the glass table. He busied himself by fiddling with his fingers, trying to ask a question he'd gotten several answers to.

It was a little different to ask Jensen directly. Roman's curiosity, as well as his own desire to see things clearer, grew every day, however.

He wanted to know...

"When did you realize you had legitimate feelings for me? And when did you realize that 'like' wasn't the appropriate term to use anymore?"

Roman's thigh was tapped to get his attention. He turned toward Jensen to show he was listening.

Jensen glanced between bright blue eyes in silence. He let out a quiet hum. His focus darted below eye level, settling on Roman's lips. Jensen's eyes flitted back up to show he was comfortable having that conversation. He also desired to prove how he had nothing to hide in terms of his romantic attachment.

"You pulled me in the very first time we met each other. I was initially intrigued when I saw you and Kay at the store together. I thought I'd be polite by introducing myself. But as soon as you turned around, and I got to see you completely... it felt like the world stopped. I know that you share a lot of features with Kay and the kids, but there was just something so unique about you. I thought you were... really, really handsome. And as embarrassing as it was, I did gush to my grandma about how pretty you were.

"Our first family dinner together gave me a bit of a taste in terms of how you were as a person. Right off the bat, I knew I wanted to start a friendship. When we started hanging out more, and you started opening up more to me, I felt so happy. And comfortable. 

"I realized things were taking more of a serious turn the night you confessed about how bad your parents were to you. Seeing you so upset and thinking I didn't understand- it broke my heart. I wanted to do whatever I could to get you out of that dark place. Then the Maple Bay Halloween Festival came, and I was able to make you smile the brightest I'd ever seen. I knew then that I didn't just like you as a friend."

Roman remembered that moment with intense clarity: when he and Jensen spoke while standing on the boardwalk, waiting for the fireworks to start. Jensen had been so honest about how much he adored Roman's smile. Meanwhile, Roman — he'd been so enchanted by Jensen's words, he could only stare in captivation, even after the sky illuminated with dazzling, sparkling colors.

Roman was pretty sure that night was when a certain little flame came to life in his heart too.

Jensen went on to say, "We continued to grow and get closer as the months went on. Then we started getting physical with each other, and it actually caught me off guard. Not because I was scared, but because doing those things with you, even though I'd never done so with anyone else- I'd never felt more safe. More... more open.

"I knew I was in deep when you got sick. When you had that breakdown in the bathroom and just kept apologizing for thinking you did something wrong by freaking out. I... never want to see you like that again. I don't ever want to see you in that type of pain again. It hurt so bad to see you so scared. I was ready to do anything to make sure you were okay. That you always felt safe with me.

"I realized 'like' became 'love' after I came home the night Rachel made her first appearance. When you said she hurt you- when I saw your bruises. When you let yourself cry because you knew you felt protected with me.

"I realized I was in love because all of the anger and negativity and grief went silent the moment I had you in my arms. The moment I felt your heart beating against mine. And when we fell into bed for the first time together that night, I- I knew there was no going back for me. You letting down your walls and exposing yourself in every way possible- it made me feel... alive. Like I'd found a home in someone. Like I'd finally found the missing piece to a puzzle I could never complete.

"I realized I was in love with you when the thought of having a simple, beautiful, fulfilling life... meant having you with me through every part of it. No matter how good or bad. No matter how exciting or bleak. All I wanted, more than anything, was-"

"To be with you," Roman finished, his voice thick with emotion.

Jensen's eyes widened by a tiny fraction. He swallowed, lips parting in the middle. His breathing became more labored, and his heart began to race.

"Yeah. To- to be with you."

Roman's lips were on Jensen's before either of them knew what was happening.

The raw, unexpected nature of their kiss pushed both men to react without restraint.

Roman's hands cupped either of Jensen's cheeks to pull him closer. One of those hands slipped into his hair, purposefully tugging to make him shiver. The needy whine which slipped out of him was enough for Roman to shift himself until he was straddling Jensen's lap.

The change presented Jensen with the opportunity to sneak his starving touch beneath Roman's shirt. Jensen didn't travel too high since it was chilly out, but he let his hands wander enough to send a clear message:

Jensen loved, cherished, and wanted Roman with every fiber of his being.

Neither of them tried to initiate anything beyond kissing. They did, however, allow themselves to further melt into each other until they were nothing more than tangled limbs and hungry kisses.

Roman wasn't confident enough to say that little three word phrase out loud yet.

But his heart...

Oh, his heart sang.