Just want to say that I don't agree with anything this guy says. None of these things are my opinions. Please don't believe they are.

Jeremiah's POV

You know, it's really too bad Val rejected me. Despite whatever Crystal says, I think she's a smoke show. But I guess she'll just have to settle for that Pucker dude or whatever. Lucky guy, although I don't think he deserves her.

So now I guess I'll just have to settle for Crystal. Don't get me wrong, I think she's also just as hot as Val, but I refuse to believe that she's just as smart as her. I mean, she's a blonde. And I need brains in a girl. Otherwise then, she just ends up being a housewife. I'd kinda like a girl that could work so that I wouldn't have to work as hard.

The day after I asked Val out, I'm sitting in the cafe bored as heck. Crystal looks like she could be the life of a party, but she actually so uptight.

I look up and notice Val strutting towards me. And I'm not imagining this. She is straight up sashaying over to me and it's kinda hot.

"Hey Jeremiah," she leans over table that I'm sitting at towards me. I suddenly wish this table wasn't in the way right now.

I look her up and down. She's wearing a tight hoodie crop-top and skinny jeans. It's kinda out of character for her but do I care?

"Hey Val," I say bitterly, pretending to act mad but showing her that I'm not.

"I've... reconsidered your option from yesterday and now I know. I'd love to go out with you," she smirks. 

"But what about that other guy. Pucker was it?"

"Oh you totally misunderstood. We're just friends. Although, I don't think he knows that but the poor boy will have to learn it at some point," she giggles a flirty laugh and I laugh along with her. This is a dream come true.

"That's what I thought. So, do you want to come over to my room tonight?" I ask before she can change her mind.

"Sure. I'll choose the movie. Although we probably won't watch any of it..." she bites her lip in a way I can literally never forget.

"Great. It's a date."

"But I have to know, are you and Crystal technically together?" she asks.

"Well, technically, yes. I did ask her out two days ago and she said yes. But who cares, right?" I try to shove the question out of the way. I don't want anything ruining this.

"Perfect," she says with a mischievous smile on her face. Tonight might just be the best night of my life.

Later that night, I set up our room. I scatter gardenias around the room (don't ask me where I got them from) and light candles. I honestly don't really care about romance but she's a girl so I'm sure she wants me to put some type of effort or something.

I hear a knock at the door and say, "Come in."

Val steps inside with a really short, form-fitting dress. I cannot wait to finally hit that.

"Hey. Do you like the dress?" Val asks in a very seductive way.

"Sure do. It suits you."

She goes over to the bed and sits against the pillows and the wall. I toss her the remotes and climb into the bed with her. Then, she chooses the movie.

We're about halfway into the movie and nothing's really happened so I thought I should initiate things first. I put my hand on her knee and look to her face to see a reaction. I see a slight smile on her red lips and decide I should take the chance.

I lean into her and she starts to lean towards me. We are just about to kiss when...

"Jeremiah?! I knew you were cheating on me!" Crystal's slightly scratchy voice screeches from the door way. I get so surprised I jump back and almost fall off the bed. I was so close.

"Sorry Crystal, but, I have preferences you know. I like you, too, just not as much as her," I say with honesty. Kind of harsh, I know, but you can't be a winner in every aspect of life.

"Actually, Jeremiah, I'm not mad," Crystal smiles. I hear Val giggle from behind me. What is happening?

"What is it? Are you two pranking me or something? Is this 'revenge'?" I ask, slightly annoyed that I've been toyed with. I mean, who's so evil as to toy with someone?

"No, no. This isn't revenge. After you asked me out, I told Crystal about everything and... we came to an agreement," Val bites her lip again.

"What is it?" I ask.

"Well, since we both want, then we'll both have you," Crystal says smugly. I'm sorry, pardon?

"You don't have to choose between us. All three of us will date. You can have both of us," Val says happily. Is this heaven? Is there truly a good God who has finally decided to reward me with everything I deserve in life?

"Are you serious?" I ask happily.

"Sure are!" they both say in unison.

Feeling like this moment deserved a celebration, I pull out the huge bottle of whiskey that I snuck into the biodome. I can't believe they didn't notice.

"I think this calls for whiskey!" I yell as the party starts. 

But that's the last thing I remember from that night...

The next morning I wake up with a splitting headache and the sun's harsh rays piercing my eyes. What happened last night?

"Ugh... what happened?" I ask to no one, hoping anyone in the room can answer.

I finally start to take in my surroundings. Squinting, I see three girls rushing around the room. Val, Crystal, and Shelby, another girl in the biodome from Switzerland that I've never interacted with before.

"Are you kidding me? Where is it?" 

"We haven't looked in that corner yet."

"Guys! We have to find them now!"

I suddenly start to get worried. What could they be looking for so early in the morning?

"What are you guys looking for?" I ask.

"We can't find any of the condoms from last night!" the three of them yell.

Then, finally, everything registers in my mind. The three of them are in the room with me, who is laying naked in bed. Oh my God...

Oh my God...

If they can't find a condom then that means... I could have... my life is over.

The girls stare at me with shock and then suddenly burst out laughing!

"What? What? Do you think this is funny? My life could be over!" I yell at them. They continue to laugh.

"The look on his face had me dead. I can't."

"Guys, I think this is a mission accomplished," Val and Crystal high-five and then Crystal and Shelby hug.

"What are you guys on about?! Tell me right now!" I yell, trying to sound threatening.

"We'll let you figure that out on your own," Val, Crystal, and Shelby walk out clutching their stomachs laughing.

So all of this was a trick? But why? I thought all girls found me irresistable. This is humiliating.

I can't even quit. I signed a stupid contract saying I can't just leave without a good reason. I'll just switch rooms with someone I guess.

Time to throw myself a pity party. I'm the first ever British person to not have a good life. Why punish me God? Why me? I don't deserve this! I'm an amazing person! How dare you!