| 24 |

❝ Are you a cat? Because you're purrrrfect. ❞

CHARLOTTE SMOOTHED DOWN  her black skater skirt and fiddled with the collar of her thin, black and white polka dotted shirt.

Her lips were sore from biting on them so much, the nerves and the stress overwhelming. Charlie's fingers combed through her shoulder-length, brown hair. Her phone buzzed in the small purse she had on her shoulder, and Charlie checked it.

Teddy Orion: i'm here

Taking a deep breath, she hobbled slowly down the stairs, the wedges on her feet causing the imbalance.

Charlie's dad was lazily sitting beside the counter in the bookstore, her mother reading behind it. She cleared her throat, causing her parents to look up.

"I... Teddy's here," she mumbled, adjusting the purse strap.

"Oh, honey," her mother sadly whispered, putting her book down. "You look beautiful."

Charlotte nodded with a straight face. "I'll see you later."

"All right," her mother replied, her father giving her a grim smile.

It was June fifth, exactly a week after Violet Dawes died.

Malcolm had not been to school the whole week. The mood among the friends was somber, and not at all the usual content atmosphere. They rarely had a conversation of more then twenty words.

Charlotte safely made it to the Cadillac, only slightly stumbling once. She never wore heels, so this was a first. A first. Her first funeral for someone younger than seventy. Her first group of friends. Her first [non-fictional] crush. Her first... Whatever the hell she was with Teddy.

His jaw was clenched and his onyx-black hair was snazzily tousled to one side of his forehead. One hand was gripping the steering wheel like his life depended on it, while the other hand tapped a mile a minute on the dashboard. His expression was forcibly stiff, as if he was about to cry.

Teddy didn't look at her once as she got in the car and buckled up. His stormy eyes were dead set on the road [A/N LOL "DEAD SET" HAHAHA PUNS], and Charlotte stiffened her posture. The tension was strong, and it never usually was with Teddy.

Her sweaty hands were fidgeting in her lap, her eyes darting from him to the window.  The unfamiliar trip to the funeral home flew by her, the flourishing maple trees and daintily decorated houses looking tall and daunting.

Charlie shot a peek at Teddy to see him staring right back at her. She blinked for a second before she blushed and turned away.

Charlotte was nervous. She did not like seeing dead bodies. To see the still, unmoving corpse of a girl once full of life terrified her. To see what was left of a human once their brain blanks and their heart freezes and their breath clogs for good and their eyes gloss over and no no no no no no no no.

She cleared the image from her head, gnawing her teeth together and squeezing her hands.

She could nearly hear her heart in the silent car, thump thump thump as she tried to think of anything but where they were going and what they were doing and who they were seeing.

Teddy pressed play on the CD player on the car. A Day in the Life softly hummed throughout the old, clunky machine.

Thank you.

They rattled along, Charlie humming along every so often. Teddy was silent.

"If at any time you need a Charlie hug, I'm here," she blurted out. She desperately needed to say something comforting to him.

He cracked his first tiny Teddy smile she'd seen in days. "I may hold you up to that offer sooner than you think."

They pulled up to the funeral home soon after that. Charlotte could pinpoint Shane's car, along with Teddy's mother's.

Stepping out of the car and fixing her collar once more, she gulped. The place was quaint and welcoming, she guessed. For a funeral home. Gorgeous flowers dotted the lawn, and the building itself was built with bricks.

Teddy stood beside her, his arms glued to his side, his eyes flickering closed.  "I might need that hug now."

•|•|•

Gentle, soothing music greeted them as they walked through the doors. White walls and vases filled of flowers went on for miles. Like a hospital.

White walls. Violet. Dead. Soul gone, left with a decaying body and...

Her hands shot out, latching on to Teddy's arm.  He glanced down and furrowed his eyebrows. "You okay?"

"Yeah, o-of course," she stuttered. "What about you?"

He squinted and shriveled up his nose. "Not right now, I'm not," he replied. "Someday."

He slipped his hand into hers and they marched on, reaching the large room where the casket lay.

Over one hundred wooden chairs were set up in rows. Pictures of Violet with friends and family covered the walls and cork boards, and mounds of flowers rested atop the coffin. The drawing of her Teddy made was hung up as well. Charlie gulped.

Teddy's mother (who had helped set up) and Malcolm's parents were talking with a couple other women. Not many people were there yet, just those folks, Teddy and Charlotte, and... Malcolm.

He was in the first row, his elbows resting on his knees, his head in his hands. Her thoughts blanked as she dropped Teddy's hand and briskly walked towards Malcolm.

Charlie hadn't seen him in forever, and she felt an urgent need to comfort him. He glanced up at the sound of her footsteps and stood up.

"Charlo-"

She threw her arms around him, standing on her tiptoes and resting her cheek against his neck. It took him a second to process before he wrapped his arms around her too.

"I wish I was there for you," she breathed out, squeezing him closer to her. His usually puffy hair was slicked down, and he was wearing a black suit with a matching tie.  "I wish I had known sooner, I-I didn't..."

"Thanks, Charlotte," he whispered hoarsely, letting go of her. There were dark circles under his eyes, and he just looked exhausted and sad. "I needed that."

Teddy came up from behind her and gave Malcolm a hug as well, the pair slapping each other on the back.

More people started to show up, Shane being one of them.  Teachers, friends, and her boyfriend, even, showed up. Charlotte met family members of Malcolm and Teddy, being the most social she had been in a while.

And then the service started.

Charlie sat in the front row with Malcolm, Teddy, and Shane.

Charlotte didn't like funerals one bit. For her Grandfather's funeral, when she was eleven, she sobbed hysterically. She didn't even know the man very much, as her grandparents only came to visit once a year. Charlotte just hoped she didn't sob again.

Another thing that had been on Charlotte's mind was the thing Teddy said when he was sobbing uncontrollably on the phone; his father had died. That meant Theodore had experienced this whole thing before, the crying and the reunion of family members and the casket and the pictures and the flowers.

Charlotte's heart ached the whole ceremony.

Malcolm's mother got up to say a few words, but a few sentences in, she got too choked up and couldn't speak. Malcolm's father had to step in.

Then it was Malcolm's turn.

Teddy gave him a pat on the back as Charlotte squeezed his sweaty hand. He crawled up to the podium, his lips wobbling and his hands trembling.

He reached into his pocket, pulling out a crinkled piece of paper. Smoothing it out, he cleared his throat and took a shaky breath. Malcolm was always so confident, but here, he shriveled up like a wilting flower.

"Violet was never just a sister to me," he began, his chin up, facing the crowd. "She was my friend. My best friend. Sh-she was an incredible actress, and she taught me everything she knew. That was her dream. To be an actress."

He raked his fingers through his hair, closing his eyes and clenching his jaw. "God. S-she loved going to the movies. Whenever a new Marvel movie would come out out, we'd go see it together and she'd punch me if I started talking during it."

He wasn't even looking at the paper, as if he had memorized it. Or he was just making it up as it went.

"Every Friday, it was almost a ritual that we had a sleepover with my cousin, Theodore," he throatily spoke. "And she would always boss us around. That was just the kind of person she was. We'd get candy and pig out, play games, watch movies and just joke around. And it made memories, it really did."

Teddy scared the crap out of her by putting his hand on her thigh and squeezing. Her mouth went dry.

Glancing at him, she saw a familiar look. He looked as if he was about to cry. He was biting hard on his bottom lip, teeth grinding and his Adam's apple bobbing.

Charlie was crying. Just a little bit. Her eyes were watery and puffy, and she wiped her tears with the back of her hand.

Charlotte searched through her purse as Malcolm spoke to the captivated audience. Pulling out a little pouch of tissues, she handed one to Teddy.

He turned to look at her and she saw the tears stream out, silent and deadly. It was like an arrow to the heart [something she'd been getting a lot lately], slicing right through.

The picture of the gorgeous, button-nosed, wide-eyed girl on the easel before them seemed to toothily smile at her in a daunting way. Head tilted, hands folded, cheeks red. 

Charlotte closed her eyes.

•|•|•

It was around eleven at night.

She had already been on her phone, but a call interrupted her wattpading.

"Hello?" she whispered, pressing the phone close to her ear.

A crackling sound filled her ear. "I... Sorry. I just... I knew you might be up and I just can't sleep. Every time I close my eyes, I see..."

Slice went the arrow. Crack went her heart.

"Don't apologize," she mumbled.  "I usually just put a playlist or one song on repeat until I fall asleep. That should help."

"Thanks, Charlie," he said in a hushed voice.

"Sometimes I listen to old fifties and sixties music. It usually relaxes me."

"I'll keep that in mind," he responded. "Had I woken you up?"

She rolled onto her stomach, her phone still pressed against her ear.  "Nah, I was still up. Got a lot on my mind."

"Same here," he whispered, and silence replaced their small talk.

Charlotte could hear her heart racing in her chest, beating like a ticking time bomb. Thump. Thump. Thump.

It wasn't a mistake, you know.

I like you a lot, Charlotte Juliet Jackson.

Her head was throbbing and she felt uncomfortable. Her stomach was tossing and turning like a ship in a storm, waves crashing against it, rain beating down on it, the boat bobbing up and down.

"What are we, Charlie?"

The thumping grew louder. "Ask me again at a decent hour."

"Alright."

"Go to bed, Teddy," she murmured. "I'm supposed to be the insomniac here."

"Alright," he repeated. "Good night, Charlie."

The call ended.

She just hoped she didn't get a call at three in the morning from a sleepless wreck.

Charlotte supposed she needed to go to bed. Plugging her earbuds into her phone, she scrolled through the old fifties and sixties music she had.

Pressing play, she put the earbuds in and set the song to repeat.

Laying on her side with her legs curled up, she closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep.

I practice every day to find some clever lines to say to make the meaning come through, Frank Sinatra's voice sang softly. But then I think I'll wait until the evening gets late and I'm alone with you.

She tossed and turned, her head yet to find the right position on her flat pillow. The numbers on her alarm clock ticked by and the times the song had been played was at least twenty. Finally, she felt her muscles grow weak and her eyes drift shut, her limbs sprawled all over her small bed.

The time is right, your perfume fills my head, the stars get red and, oh, the night's so blue...

A small smile adorned her face, her breathing steady and peaceful.

And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like "I love you".

a/n

that song is "something stupid" :-)

i've been in the mood for oldies lately and i don't know why, but it's great.

ok so for fanart, i want to feature all of it in here, so if you want to be featured in this book, send your fanart ASAP! this book is ending soon! only six (?) more chapters left! you can send stuff to my tumblr, sophieclaflin or upload it to imgur or something and send me the link. if you have any questions, just PM me or comment :-)

what did you think of this chapter? it's definitely more of a filler, not much going on. it was difficult to write, the beginning and stuff. it's not my best.

but we saw malcolm again! and shane and teddy and the whole crew basically. tell me thoughts, comments, predictions, anything. i'm always reading your comments, i love them all and i'm always listening to ways i can improve!

hey also, i finished the cabinet that has book pages on the side and old maps and comic strips and parks and rec quotes and book covers it's AWESOME. i put a pic of it on my instagram, @siriusly_fandoms

so the dedication of the chapter goes to @sam-smith

"Youth by Daughter decided to play while I was reading this and everything brought me to tears. Your writing style is flawless. I admire you so much! Thinking you're younger makes me want to improve. I would without a doubt buy this book. I've also recommended this to several people. This book makes me speechless, it's AMAZING AMAZING. Long comment but I think it's perfect. Everything is good. Like when you write I can feel what they're feeling."

ahjdkakjfaldlakjfa thank you thank you thank you i just loved that comment.

vote if you liked the chapter, comment, share, all that jazz.

PS. would you read a sequel to this? i've been thinking about it and i have a small idea. it's starting to come together, i just don't know yet

PPS. does anyone have any good jokes to put at the beginning of the chapters? all I can find are cheesy pick up lines

GOALS:
90k reads in total
180 votes
300 comments

[also, thank you so much for 6k votes and 84k reads and 6k comments, honestly i love you all. siriusly. and #97 in teen fiction??!?!!?!! i did a little dance when bellamy-blake pointed that out]