| 21 |

❝ Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands.❞

WHAT WOKE CHARLOTTE up was the frantic, harsh whispers and ferocious shaking from Skylar.

"W-why would you do that?" Charlotte said sleepily, stretching her back in her sleeping bag.

Sleeping bag?

"Because of that!" she shrieked, pointing directly at a giant lump.

Charlie yawned, turning around to look at the thing in the sleeping bag beside her.

"Wait, is that Teddy?" she murmured, discretely yawning again.

"Yes! And do you realize how much dad will kill you if he notices a boy in your bedroom? He once caught Spencer and I and he nearly skinned us alive!"

"We're not like you guys," Charlie whispered, glancing at Theodore, who was stirring. "We're not dating."

"Do you think dad will know? Or care?"

"Crap, you're right," she mumbled, getting out of her makeshift bed for the might. She flicked Theodore on his forehead. "Wake up, idiot. You were supposed to be gone already!"

"Huzzoh?" he muttered incoherently, shooting up, frazzled. His black hair was sticking out in every direction possible, fluffy pieces flopping into his face.

"You need to leave," she whispered, grabbing his arm and hauling him up. "My dad's going to notice I'm not downstairs eating breakfast any minute now!"

She fought with the window, finally getting it to creak open. "C'mon, hurry up."

"I can't find my glasses!" he whispered back, on hands and knees searching for them. Skylar grabbed his sleeping bag and shook it out, the glasses tumbling out. He shoved them on his face and scrambled to the window, his gray hoodie slightly wrinkled and his hair still all disheveled.

"Go, go, go," she said, shoving him onto the fire escape.

"Charlotte, are you okay up there?" she heard her father yell from downstairs, probably making breakfast.

"I'm fine!" she hollered, slamming the window shut just as Teddy squeezed out of it. He was standing, staring at her through the window with those vibrant blue eyes, watching her shove the sleeping bags back into the closet and throw the pillows back onto her bed.

Go! she mouthed.

He gave her two thumbs up and darted clumsily down the stairs.

Charlotte sighed, falling onto her bed with her arms crossed behind her head.

"You've got it bad," Skylar tsked.

•|•|•

She was watching Netflix when her phone rang.

"Yeah, what's up?" she asked, closing her laptop.

"Um, s-so... I kinda want to see Violet b-but I'm not... I don't..."

"I'm free this afternoon."

"Thank God," he mumbled. "I'm sorry. It's just, with you, it would be easier."

"I understand. I'll wait outside."

Charlotte grabbed her phone and slipped on converse before she headed down the stairs. He was there in less than five minutes.

He had obviously showered and cleaned up since morning, now wearing a Marvel shirt and a pair of shorts. His hair had been brushed, no longer the frizzy, tangled mess is had been. She opened the car door and slipped in.

"Hey."

"Thanks for doing this," he said, starting hp the car.

"Are you kidding? That's what friends are for," she replied.

They got to the hospital and Charlie was proud at how Teddy was holding up. About a half of the way there, she reached out and grabbed his hand. He comforted her all last night; she actually fell asleep. The least she could do was calm him down now.

"R-room 115," he stuttered to the lady at the front desk. She gave him a stare that basically asked if he was going to run out of the building again. Charlie gave her a glare.

"Deep breaths," she mumbled to Teddy as she tugged him to her room.

Charlotte was fairly scared. She didn't necessarily have a love for hospitals, Maybe it was the way everything was so white and cold and clammy, all the walls feeling like they were closing in on her. Or maybe it was the fact she was dreading to see Violet. If Teddy broke down at the idea of seeing her in there, what would he do when he actually did see her? When he ran out, that nearly broke Charlie. So lost and miserable. Maybe she just didn't want to see a lifeless body of a girl trapped in an unforgiving sleep.

The door approached, and Teddy was still clinging to her hand. It was all sweaty, but she didn't mind.

"Deep breaths," she repeated, and he twisted the knob.

She couldn't follow her own advice.

As soon as she saw the woman sitting in the cot, the air in her lungs got caught somewhere in her throat and she couldn't breathe, she couldn't breathe.

Tubes curling and eyes closed, her body limp and lifeless. Peaceful. Way past consciousness, not yet at death. Her straw-like, light brown hair was fanned around her shoulders and face.Wearing the white (why white?) hospital robes.

She looked so much like Malcolm.

Charlotte didn't know what to think. Violet looked so familiar, so familiar, her button nose and her thin lips and dainty frame, her face small and rounded.

"You drew her before," she whispered to Theodore, shuffling closer to Violet. Teddy was frozen by the door, his hand still grasping the knob.

Charlotte reached out and shakily touched Violet's pale cheek. It was soft and warm. She quickly pulled back her hand.

He was silent, slowly walking towards the chair that was sat beside her bed.

"You did, didn't you," she softly stated.  "She was the girl in the portrait. I said 'nice drawing' and you couldn't believe that I was talking to you, I-"

"Yeah," he gruffly said, taking a seat in the chair.

"Need a distraction?"

This was something Teddy had become taken to; he would see her sulking or thought she needed to take her mind off of things and he'd ask if she needed a distraction. He'd tell her a joke or ask her a question or pop in a movie. Sometimes he'd just tell her a story.

"Yes." His lips twitched upwards towards her, a sad attempt at a smile.

"Okay..." she replied, swinging a chair next to him and sitting down. Charlie pulled her feet onto the chair, resting her chin on her knees and wrapping her arms around them. "What's your favorite color."

"Really?" he laughed. "You don't know what my favorite color is?"

"Well, I mean-"

"It's gray," he interrupted. "What's yours?"

"Really?" she mimicked. "You don't know what my favorite color is?"

He rolled his eyes and pushed his glasses up his nose. "Nice."

Charlotte glanced at his eyes. "Blue," she said with a gulp. "It- it's blue."

"Like sky blue, or navy blue?"

"Ocean blue," she said without skipping a beat.  She coughed. "Um. Who's your favorite Avenger?"

"I dunno," he said, slouching in the chair and stretching his legs. "Maybe Iron Man, Hawkey, or Capt."

"Thor for me," she said. "Maybe Black Widow."

He nodded and glanced at Violet.

"Uhhh," she quickly stammered out, not wanting him to run into the parking lot again. "Why... Why does Malcolm like me?"

It was the first thing that came to her mind.

"Well," Teddy said, looking at the linoleum floor instead of his comatose cousin. "He told me he saw you at the theater camp and thought you were gorgeous. He'd text me for hours talking about the hilarious, beautiful girl he met there."

"Really?" she asked quietly.

"You don't believe it?" he questioned with a raised eyebrow. "You're always picking up in someone's feelings, knowing when to include them or not, and you always know how to make them feel better. You know exactly what to say, you're beautiful, and... And you're a great friend.  It's no wonder he likes you."

She blinked, hugging her knees tighter to her chest. "S-seriously? You mean that?"

Teddy snorted. "Of course. I wouldn't lie to you, Charlotte."

The pair sat quietly in the claustrophobic, plain white room, occasionally sneaking sad glances towards the beautiful girl who lie in the cot before them.

"What'd you think of the kiss?" he asked randomly, awkwardly sifting a hand through his soft hair.

Oh, you mean the kiss you said was a mistake?

"Wh-what?" she gulped. "What I thought of the kiss? Is th... That's your question?"

Why. Seriously, why. Does he think it's fun to see her all flustered and freaking out, trying to answer without being awkward and weird?

She thought they were ignoring the kiss! She thought that after he announced what a mistake it was, talking about the kiss would be denied! What was he doing! She was on the verge of a panic. attack! Deep breaths!

She controlled her breathing. Okay, Charlotte. Chin up, smile on.

"Uhh," Charlotte groaned out. "Umm."

He crossed his arms behind his head and grinned such a smug little grin.

"Rad."

"What?" he blinked.

"Um, it was rad?"

"Oh. Okay."

"Yep. What'd y-you think of it?" She bit her lip. Hopefully he responds better than 'rad'.

"Could I answer metaphorically?"

Was not expecting that.

"Uh, sure? Go for it, I guess," she replied. This could go either way.

Charlotte was slowly slipping away from her surroundings of the comatose woman and the bare walls and plunging into the depths of his blue eyes. She was clinging on to every word like she was reading the cliffhanger on a book; waiting and waiting and waiting, the suspense finally built up, eager to hear the next sentence.

"I thought it was something like a star. Or a stellar collision."

Maybe he thinks stars are mistakes, she thought angrily.

"What's a stellar collision?" she asked, breathing deeply through her nose so she didn't explode from her thoughts.

"It's when two stars collide.  Two stars, whipping around, until suddenly, they crash," he whispered, staring at the floor, making his glasses slide down his nose. "Then the stars either merge, or destroy."

"And you thought the kiss was like that?" she mumbled, staring up at him through her eyelashes.

He smiled at her, making her heart stutter.

"My turn."

"Okay," she replied, not really sure where this little game of questions were  to end up.

"Why do you have panic attacks and nightmares? And why do you turn to me as a solution after these nightmares?"

She felt the white walls start to close in on her. "That's two questions."

"What's with the nightmares, then?"

Charlotte gulped. "I..."

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, she repeated in her head. The song had become a sort of anxiety anthem for her; she'd just repeat the lyrics over and over and over, the voice in her head sounding exactly like Teddy's. You make me happy when skies are gray.

"Anxiety," she said quietly. Every little thing gets me worked up. Should I raise my hand and ask to go to the bathroom, repeating my lunch order over and over again in my head, hoping I don't screw up." She paused. You'll never know dear how much I love you.

"I question to myself over and over again if I should go tell the person over there that I like their shirt, or that their hair looks nice today.  Everything's just built up and it's caused me to faint, throw up, and have extreme nightmares," she continued, looking anywhere but at Teddy.

"Your turn," he said calmly.

"That's it?" she sharply whispered in the quiet hospital room. "Are you okay with that? The fact I have problems sleeping without nightmares and always come to you for help when I can't?"

"Yes, of cour-"

"It's because you're the only one that can actually help me, Theodore Orion," she said with her voice slightly raising with each word.  Remember that you're in a hospital, Charlie.

She took a deep breath, her words anxious to spit out.  "Even though you're one of the reasons I'm so stressed.  Fainting because I was overthinking the kiss that you called a mistake, having nightmares about you being dead-" her voice was a deadly whisper-shriek now. She was on a roll. "-and stressing about how the boy I have a crush on thought our kiss was a mistake!"

Shit. Shit. She was so caught up in her frustration that she didn't realize what she was saying. Crush. She said crush.

She couldn't help but repeat that small, seven letter word at the end of her small rant. The mistake part always messed her up. Why did he think it was a mistake? Did he not like her like that? Did he regret it? She had no idea.

Deep breaths. So please don't take my sunshine away.

Somehow, even when it was Theodore who was confusing her and stressing her out, it was Theodore who would calm her down from it. All she could think of was his gravelly voice whispering the words to her in the wake of her nightmare.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw what she couldn't believe was a smile. She was furious, why was he smiling? She literally blamed part of her stress on him. Her best friend.

"Crush? D-do you mean it?"

Charlotte blinked at him. This was not the time nor place to be doing this. He's had weeks since the kiss. He could have brought it up then. They were in a hospital. Sitting beside his coma-induced cousin. There were too many questions currently fogging up Charlie's mind and this would add to the massive headache.

"Take me home," she said quietly, getting up. "Take me home."

"A-alright," he stuttered, his expression showing that he slightly questioned her actions. He leaned over the cot and kissed Violet on the forehead. "Gotta run, love you."

With one last glance at the skinny, pale, lifeless girl in the cot, Charlotte headed out of the door.

a/n

special thanks to to Aoioa527 for the help as i stressed writing this chapter xD

mini trailer by the lovely 
@-barryallen, thank you!

cute gif of grant gustin/sleepy teddy on the side. such a cutie.

i'm not feeling too confident in the chapter but i was encouraged it was ok. thoughts? thoughts on violet, the drawing [most of you thought he drew charlie *wink*], how she accidentally said crush, the question game, charlie's reactions, 'mistake'

(probably half of this chap is misspelled bc i typed most of this on a shattered phone screen)

so my vacation was nice! i saw fantastic four in theaters on recliner chairs ????? maryland is amazing, we went to asiteague (probs spelt that so wrong lmao) island where wild horses roam and one nearly ate my dad it was hilarious. my mom got a picture of it.

ALSO WHILE I WAS THERE i got to planning! i planned the whole book, and there will be 30 chapters! (i think. i might throw in a couple others if i feels rushed or something).

if you have fanart, pm me! or just pm me anytime if you wanna just chill and talk about parks and rec or books or something, i'm always here :-) vote if you liked the chap, share if you recommend this story (and want to make my day) comment if ya wanna.

Dedication to @runaway_artist for the awesome comment!

"Have you ever taken writing classes? Or what's up with this? You're UNBELIEVABLE good at writing for your age and I can never get over that! Your writing style is so beautiful that it makes me want to fall over and cry because I'm jealous. Okay hope that wasn't weird."

thank you so much. everyone's comments make my day

GOALS:
73k reads in total
170 votes
300 comments