Copyright to VedaPettigrew

(Chapter 19)

I watched with no little amount of irritation as Greta wove her charm over Hammer once more. It had been much easier when she was annoyed with him for 'spying' on her, making my unreasonable jealousy easier to deal with. I rolled my eyes at the recollection of her over-dramatisation of something that was so obviously simple to me.

We had met and been forced to spend too much time apart due to unusual circumstances. She was my true mate and the distance between us was unbearable so of course I had to know about her daily activities. I had not expected to either find my mate or depose an alpha on this trip, yet both were happening at the same time.

It was difficult to hear about her day from the lips of another, especially when it was obvious that a fond relationship was growing between them.

If I was being honest, the depth of feeling I held towards Greta astounded me. I knew I was able to love and respect females; both emotions I held towards Valerie. But this aching in my bones to be near her, the catapulting pride in her achievements and strength, was wholly unexpected.

I knew she was suffering my absence too. Hammer was telling me just last night that she had looked to my door over twenty three times yesterday. Every day the number had got higher, she was missing me, she was suffering and yet she was working so hard, helping everybody and anybody who needed it, from the lowest omega to the most important visitor. She treated them the same.

Since Amos and Elgatha were about to be removed from office, I had informed them they had no right to order her about. She was rudderless and yet still chose to do so much without being instructed or monitored. She was amazing.

I watched as she took to teasing my tough warrior who just grinned and bore it with pleasure. I could feel his relief at being forgiven, he'd suffered when he discovered he had hurt her though it was not truly his fault, I had ordered him and he had to obey. Whenever he spoke of her, it was full of respect and admiration and increasing affection. He tried to hide it from me, not wanting to anger me or arouse my jealousy further, he knew how tough this situation was for me.

He told me of conversations he'd overheard when she was alone with her five closest friends. She'd discussed her never-ending grief at losing her parents, her relief at being free from Jeremy but that her nightmares remained, her anger at Amos, her sorrow at being let down by her grandparents - her supposed family, her anguish at being stuck in a pack when she hated its entire way of life, the loss of her freedom, friends, missing her life from before. The anger in his eyes matched my own when he told me of her shaking hands and nervous habit of bolting doors and rechecking them regularly. When he asked one of her omega friends about it, she told him it began after Jeremy attacked her. She didn't feel safe.

She was suffering, yet when she was with anyone else she held it in, refused to let it show.

To say I was proud would be grossly understating my feelings towards the female chosen to be my mate. She was a natural Luna Luna.

Right now, the only thing that held me back from launching onto Hammer and beating him to a pulp for making my female laugh and smile, was that I knew the affection he held for her was not romantic. He looked at her the same way he looked at Beth. And honestly, I was glad she had someone to make her happy; the smiles she gave him were unguarded and genuine.

Still, my jaw clenched at the thought that his carefree attitude could lead to harm befalling her... Raoul hurt her. Fury engulfed me at the wayward thought. I would not stand another protector allowing the same to happen.

Alarick agreed with my thoughts but he trusted Hammer's abilities. We'd witnessed his capability multiple times and knew that he was the perfect one to be our mates' first protector.

"Etta," I called to get her beautiful eyes on me, pleased that now I'd announced her as my mate, we would be able to spend more time together. "I see you two are on speaking terms again."

Immediately images flooded my mind as she allowed me to see the way she viewed Hammer. She was fond of him, he made her feel safe, cared for, that's why his 'betrayal' had hurt her so badly. His presence eased her pain and anxiety. I would never take that away but I had to check to see whether I needed to add more protectors on duty while Hammer was in charge.

"Hammer, I need to check your memories for the last few minutes." I would never invade the minds of my trusted and closest wolves without informing them. I knew it hurt everyone when I did it. I glanced at my girl smugly, well almost everyone.

I dived into Hammer's mind and saw that even during their conversations he was constantly watching their surroundings, he was aware of every single person in the vicinity. I withdrew, informing him that he had impressed me with his vigilance.

Greta's face lit up and I couldn't stop the smile that covered my face as I spoke to her, then him. "Very well, you may continue this 'friendship' of yours, but if your Luna gets hurt and I feel you are in any way to blame..." I eyed Hammer warningly and he nodded seriously.

I held an arm out for my beautiful mate, desperate to feel her touch. "Let's go."

Her protectors all stood but I shook my head, she was with me - they didn't need to present a fearsome force around her, that was my job. "Only Jasper with us, the rest out of sight. Hammer, you're off until later. You'd better call Beth early, you're on tonight."

There was no need to have my toughest warrior with her while I was there, I wanted him with her when she felt vulnerable, when she was alone.

We walked to the meeting point, about to embark on the first inspection of the structures each pack had built for the Challenge. It was amazing what was able to be built in such a short time and I was proud of the men who made it possible.

Greta chattered happily along the way, telling me how much she was looking forward to this. In truth I knew this already. Any of our time together had been filled with her excitement about one structure or another. It was one of the reasons I had asked her to come. Not that she would be able to vote, but I wanted to see things through her eyes, as well as do something to make her happy.

As we approached the Silvered Oak I heard a few men chuntering their dissatisfaction that Greta had been allowed to attend and fury overtook me. How dare they question me in any way? I was their Alpha.

I felt Greta squeezing my arm as my ire grew but it only inflamed my anger. She was so good, she didn't deserve to be the object of anyone's annoyance. I pushed out a wave of power that forced them to the ground, smirking when I heard a few cries of pain as they hit the dirt. Greta shook her head at me but I sensed the undercurrent of pleasure she felt at being defended and satisfaction engulfed me.

The men before me shuffled uncomfortably under the pressuring waves. I knew it was difficult for them but I didn't care. They had dug their own graves.

"Do not disrespect me by judging my choices," I roared. "If I choose to bring a dancing emu it will not be a mistake." I sensed her frown but carried on without betraying my amusement at her grumbling dissatisfaction at being compared to a dancing emu. "Everything I do has a purpose and is right."

I pushed the power again as a wave of muttered apologies came my way. I didn't blame them for muttering, they didn't have much ability to speak right now. Alarick was furious with their disrespect, both towards us and the females at our side. His hackles were raised as he growled at them, trying to ignore the way Silver was literally panting after him. Mind you, so was Greta. He huffed at her for disrupting his stance but all it achieved was a heart-warming giggle from my mate's lips while Silver crept forward and licked his jaw, rubbing herself all over him.

Alarick was helpless against her, unable to resist a little nibble of her ear but refusing to yield his fury towards the men before us. At least until our mate's voice appealed to us through the link.

"Come on Dominic, let's get on. I think they understand your feelings on the matter."

Fine. I suppose she was right. They had been grounded for a good few minutes now and not all of them had been guilty anyway. I acknowledged her plea and withdrew my power, letting them stand once more.

Without waiting to hear any more apologies I stalked away, pulling my mate along as we headed to the row of four-by-fours that would be needed to traverse the tough terrain. I lifted her into the front and started to do up the harness that would keep her safe and more comfortable as we travelled.

I was so focussed on that task that the soft hand that caressed my cheek came as a surprise. I looked at her as she twinkled at me, and tried not to let my amusement show, we were in public and I had a reputation to uphold. "Trouble," I whispered and winked at her.

As five protectors jumped in the vehicle she rolled her eyes at me, obviously mocking me for my choices. I ignored it, though what I really wanted to do was pull her face to mine and kiss her soundly. The half kiss we had recently swirled through my mind reminding me that she wasn't ready for more yet, so innocent and honest. I couldn't wait for the day she was ready. I was ready. I had been ready since the day we met, but the thought of pushing her was abhorrent, I wanted her to be eager when we kissed. I wanted her to kiss me back.

Marshalling my wayward thoughts, I strode to the driver's side and got in. We were heading to the furthest pack and working our way back. It was going to be a long day but hopefully a fun one. The first we would spend as an official couple.

We drove in silence for a while as she looked out of the windows. I breathed in her delicious scent, focussing on her every movement. I was glad I'd harnessed her in so well, the track was even bumpier than I had thought.

"The forest is so beautiful." Greta's voice sounded wistful even in my head. "Coming from the city, I'd never seen anything like it when I got here."

I looked around, appreciating it through her perspective. It was beautiful, but Black Lake was more so and I told her so.

"I'm nervous," she responded. I looked at her, she was frowning and anxiety was clear on her face.

"Why?"

"Another new start in such a short time," she sighed, "more people I don't know, leaving my friends behind, being Luna Luna when I have no idea how to even be a pack-wolf. You pick."

Empathy washed over me, she had been through so much lately. But this would be one change that was for the better. I decided to tell her the idea that had been rolling around in my mind.

I put my hand on her knee, wanting to comfort her through my touch. "I know it's been hard on you recently. I was thinking we could bring Joan with us so you wouldn't be too lonely. She could be your personal omega."

The grimace that she pulled was comical and expected. "Can't we call her my companion? I don't like the idea of a personal omega."

"Fine, she'll be performing the same job." It was semantics to me but I knew she chose her words and phrases carefully. Hammer told me she regularly berated the omegas when they spoke lowly of themselves.

"Why Joan?"

I started listing my thoughts, "She's unmated..."

Of course my impatient mate interrupted me, not for the first time.

"So are all the omegas..." I squeezed her leg to let her know I hadn't finished and she blushed lightly, biting her lip. "Sorry."

She was good at apologising when she was in the wrong, but never if she didn't think she was. It made her apologies meaningful if a little more sparse than most females. I smiled at her, letting her know I wasn't angry, and continued.

"I know they are, but Joan has skills which I know will help you as Luna Luna. When you told me how she conglomerated and organised the data on the forms to help you, I realised she would be an asset for your new role."

It was hard not to know the achievements of the omegas she called family. She spoke of them so often that I knew more about them that a lot of my subjects. Despite my misgivings that she was friends with the lower rankings it was obvious that they cared for her deeply and my objections were muted when I discovered how much they had done for her since she came to Stone Mountain. Without them, I don't think that she would have been anywhere near okay. Because of that they had my acceptance. As long as they didn't overstep.

"Thank you Dominic, having someone I love there will be easier on me. I'm grateful to you for thinking of it." She interlinked her fingers into mine as I lay my hand on her knee. I think of her all the time, even when I should be concentrating on other things. But I won't tell her, I can't give away any power and telling her that will give her influence she shouldn't be aware of.

"You'll see the beauty of the land when you get there," I steered us back to safer topics. I thought about my home pack with fondness. "Black Lake itself is stunning, surrounded by trees and the sun rises just over the edge of it. The water is cold," I admitted, "But Alarick loves swimming in it..."

"Swimming!" She interrupted me again, but the childish excitement in her voice wouldn't let me be angry about it. "I've never done that." She literally started bouncing in her seat and I forced my errant grin away. She was adorable. "Can you teach me?"

I swore internally as I was unable to stop a chuckle escaping. She was the undoing of me. I pictured giving her lessons and could picture her clearly splashing about with an ecstatic and joyful face, Silver by her side. "Of course, Silver will love it too I bet. Once you are freed from the post it will be the first thing we do."

"Freed from the post?" Anxiety flooded her previously carefree voice and I swore again as I realised it was yet another thing she was unaware of because her parents kept her out of pack life.

The traditions of pack life were beyond her sphere of reference entirely. Amos had disguised the month of silence initiation she had to go through at Stone Mountain as a punishment, partly out of a sense of guilt that he had forced her into the pack through his actions in removing her father, but mostly because he knew she would be furious that women were subjected to worse initiations than men and he couldn't be bothered to deal with her attitude.

I needed to explain to her more fully so she'd understand. I wouldn't ever lie to her for my comfort or hers.

"Yes, traditionally all female newcomers are tied to the training post for a week. It's meant to encourage loyalty to their new pack and instil the desire to behave." Very effectively. "It also gives the pack time to recognise them as a new member."

"You're going to tie me to a post for a week." Her voice was filled with injured shock. Her words produced an image clearly in my mind and I was surprised to feel a bolt of pain go through me at the picture.

"Of course, you have to follow our ways, you're to be the Luna Luna, they need to see you as a role model." I pushed away the discomfort. My feelings on the matter were fleeting and unimportant against years of tradition.

"No," she said bluntly and disengaged her hand from mine. "That sounds awful. It's a terrible tradition. What of the new men? What happens to them."

Irritation bit through me, she was not male, it made no difference to her what they had to do. But both as Luna Luna and being new to pack life she should be informed.

"It's expected that they will already be loyal to the pack." It was built into our very essence. Males were fiercely loyal. "They face a day of challenges so they can prove their worth. Either fights or tasks set to fit their rank." I frowned, "What do you mean no?"

"I mean I will not do it willingly. I will not show agreement to such an unfair and heinous thing. I don't care if I am the Luna Luna," she retorted with fire.

This is why Amos avoided it I'm sure. His memory of the collaring ceremony flooded my mind and resolution filled me. We would not go through that again. I would not drag her kicking and screaming to the post to tie her up, she would have to do it willingly.

Moss Hill Waterfall pack appeared before us, I had to make myself clear now. "You will do it Etta, you have no choice. It's tradition and you will show us respect by following it."

Immediately the reassuring sound of her steady heartbeat changed. It started racing wildly as she clung onto Silver who was nuzzling her before she madly started licking the bare skin of her neck. What was going on? I ventured into her mind but her ridiculous orange barrier stood in place. She had shut me out.

Angrily I exited the vehicle and strode round to undo her harness. Silver moved to the side to allow me access to the buckle but Etta would not look at me. Once she was free from it I stood waiting, she would not ignore me.

Time passed to no avail so I spoke in a low tone that nobody else would be able to hear. "Etta, we are not going anywhere until you look at me."

With a deep breath she lifted her head and I saw the glittering of unshed tears in her eyes. Pain shot through me, I made her cry. No not me, her ignorance at our ways had caused her pain yet again. I was angry with her parents for allowing her to be so vulnerable to her emotions.

Her strangled but angry voice came into my mind. "I can't do this now, we have a pack waiting on us and if we discuss this further, I won't be giving a good impression."

She was right of course and exasperation surged through me that we had stumbled onto this conversation at a time we would not be able to continue it for quite some time. I nodded and stood back, watching her collect herself before stepping out of the vehicle with a smile on her face, yet again impressing me with her abilities.

I held out my arm for her and was glad when she took it. I knew she did it for the sake of appearances and was glad that she wanted to keep our private stuff private. I had no disillusions that unlike other females she would easily cause a scene because of her feelings. The fact that she chose not to, meant a lot to me.

The day passed slowly. I was full of regret that it was not at all what I had envisioned for our first outing. I had pictured us happy and chatty, but she was neither. Every smile was forced, each word was uttered only when strictly necessary, there was none of our usual banter and it made me sad.

But yet she wasn't being petulant. Once in a while her orange cloud fell back because she was concentrating on something else and I took the opportunity to examine her thoughts and feelings. She was struggling with so much anguish that I wanted to pull her into my arms and hold her until she felt strong again. Her feelings were all sorrow and disappointment. In me.

It sat like a boulder in my chest. I had disappointed her.

I kept our conversation light, determined not to let her wallow in her feelings, trying to bring her out of the pain she felt, but nothing worked. By the time we were heading back to the packhouse it was dark and I felt her exhaustion as if it were my own.

She had held it together the whole day and something told me it wasn't going to last. She was trying too hard for too long.

Not wanting her to collapse while we were in the car I stayed silent though I desperately wanted to pull her into my arms and comfort her, I knew it wouldn't go down well.

I parked outside the house and watched as all the protectors left and dutifully stood around the car. I sighed, the banks were about to break. "Etta," I called her softly and watched her jolt before looking around and realising where we were. She turned to look at me finally and I breathed her in. "You've been very quiet.

Holding no prisoners now we were alone she snapped back, "Well finding out your mate was planning on chaining you outside like a dog would do that to you."

I sighed, it wasn't like that. "It's trad..."

She didn't let me finish.

"Tradition. Yes I know. It doesn't make me any less annoyed that yet again because I am a woman I'm to be treated as less than human."

She was refusing to understand the point. "It isn't like that Greta. Traditions are wonderful things, they keep a pack grounded, respecting the past leads to a stronger future." It was a lesson that had been drummed into me from a cub. "It's an opportunity for you to show your mettle, to show you are strong in body and mind." I already knew that of her but she had to prove it to the rest of the pack, especially as she was to be my mate, the Luna of all wolves.

"I thought it was a warning against misbehaving," she said bitterly. "It's also another way to keep us downtrodden."

It wasn't about being downtrodden, but women had to accept they were lesser ranked than men. The law was full of rules that expressed this clearly. The law was what separated us from being nothing more than animals and I had a healthy respect for it. It was what made me push away my own discomfort and insist she fulfil the initiation tradition that had stood for so long.

"I will not be changing the traditions we've held for hundreds of years," I stated forcefully. She had to understand. "There are many of them and if we start disrupting the process, everything could be ground away and we would be thrown into chaos."

She turned away and looked out of the window, not backing down an inch but giving up arguing. "I'd like to get out now. I'm tired and need to go to bed."

I got out of the car muttering to myself. This was why she had lost so much weight. I undid her harness, relishing the opportunity to touch her. "You need to eat something. Rule Seven," I reminded her.

"I'm not hungry, I just want to go to bed." She sounded exhausted but I couldn't bear for her to miss another meal when she was already so fragile.

"That is exactly why the rule is in place, to take care of you when you do not."

Unable to resist, I held her waist and lifted her out from the car. She stumbled and I knew not to let go, pulling her into me to offer more support. She really did need to go to bed as soon as possible. We walked into the dining hall and I told the protectors going off duty to eat fast to make sure she didn't have to be up any longer than necessary. I knew I was right to do so when I felt her sag once more.

It was unheard of to order men to do something for the sake of a woman but I didn't care, she was my priority.

She set her face like stone when I put her against the wall, refusing to allow me to see anything there or in her mind. I sighed unhappily but went to sit down, throwing the food down my neck as fast as possible to allow her to come to the table quicker,  pleased to see her protectors doing the same without question or resentment. I watched Greta out of the corner of my eye until I felt I could no longer make her wait. Fortunately most of her protectors had finished.

"Enough men. Leave the table. Omega, bring your Luna's food." All of them immediately obeyed and I was proud to hear Greta calling her thanks to the men for their work.

I stood and led her to the table, wanting her to sit near me. I put her to my left, round the corner of the table and was pleased to see Bee bringing Greta's food in a hurry. I was not so pleased to see Greta looking at the food unhappily.

"Eat." She needed it.

She closed her eyes for a brief moment and my heart squeezed when she opened them and tears began streaming down her face. No. It was unbearable. "Everybody out." I ordered, "Cover all exits." There was no way I wanted them to see her so vulnerable. I took the fork from her trembling fingers. "Etta," I implored and held her cheek in my hand, wiping the heinous tears with my thumb.

Was it the thought of the initiation or the disappointment in me? Either way it hurt my heart to see her tears. It hurt Alarick too, he came to rest his great head on her lap, whining at seeing his mate in pain.

"There's nothing I can do," I entreated, "You have to follow the traditions." It shouldn't cause such a problem.

"I don't want to talk about it," she whispered.

Alright, I wouldn't push it, she'd done so well today. "Fine, but you must eat." I scooped some of the lasagne onto the fork, I would do it myself to make it easier on her. She dolefully opened her mouth and I put the food in, wanting to help her, hoping that caring for her in this way would make her see how much she meant to me.

Because she did. She meant everything to me. She was strong and brave, kind, loving, thoughtful, generous; the list could go on and on. She deserved to be cherished and I hope she felt my thoughts on the matter with every forkful of food I placed in her mouth.

She may not understand our traditions but I wanted her to know how much I valued her. She was my angel, my new source of happiness and delight. I would do whatever it took within my power to make her happy.