Copywrite to VedaPettigrew

I made my way into the kitchen, already bustling with women, and tried not to shrink back when all of their heads turned to me as one. My wolf felt discomfited at their attention, she was a gentle, friendly being, but their stares were unnerving.

I felt her rippling uncomfortably as she realised the looks held no warmth, no other female in the room sending her comfort or love. It wasn't what she was used to.

I pushed my feelings of love towards her and felt her tail wag weakly, acknowledging my attention. She rubbed against my inside, marking me as hers and when I returned the feeling she settled down, curling up at my feet, her back to the others.

The females frowned, confusion and dissatisfaction in their gazes.

I spoke for her, "She won't push herself where she's unwelcome."

Surprise showed on the faces of all before me, but before a thought could cross my mind my grandmother spoke.

"This is Greta, my granddaughter. She belongs to Alpha and will be staying with us until her mate claims her."

My stomach turned at the thought of being a possession. If only my mother had not needed to go into the hospital, I could have disappeared. No-one would know any different.

My grandmother continued, "Alpha has deemed that her Collaring Ceremony will take place straight after breakfast, please hold all questions until then."

My head whipped to face her, "My what?"

She looked at me with cold eyes, "Of course you would not know," she muttered, not talking to me but herself. She turned towards one of the counters.

"Grandmother," I started but she held up her hand without turning around.

"I believe I was clear in my instruction."

What instruction? My mind desperately searched for answers. Surely she couldn't mean I was not allowed to ask questions about the ceremony I knew nothing about? Surely she couldn't mean that?

I opened my mouth to speak when a heavy hand struck my cheek with such a forceful blow that I fell to the floor. I looked up to see a lemon-faced matron staring down at me.

"Disobedience is not tolerated here. You and your parents are a disgrace to our kind. "

Her lips dripped acid and I felt the words sting my cheek as hard as her hand had done. I tried hard to hold back the tears welling in the back of my eyes, I didn't want to show them weakness.

My beautiful wolf nuzzled me and I felt her love flow through me, giving me strength to stem the flow of liquid before it began. I picked myself up from the floor and looked in disbelief at the woman who showed no empathy towards a stranger who was grieving the loss of the very people she had spoken against.

"My parents were not a disgrace. If anybody has shown themselves to be disgraceful, it is you." I spoke clearly, not rushing my words. My mother always said people listened if you spoke in a way that showed you weren't afraid of what you were saying.

One of her sayings floated through my head, "If you rush your words, they're not worth to be heard."

The woman's face contorted into a sneer and was about to retaliate when my grandmother's sharp voice rang out through the kitchen.

"Eldra, my granddaughter is right."

What? Really? Hope bloomed through my chest, only to be cut short at her next statement.

"You have disgraced yourself by acting in a manner not dictated by Alpha. You have received no instructions, yet you deem it appropriate to discipline our new addition. Write down your sin and put it in the Discipline Box. Alpha will deal with you."

She turned to face the other women, "Carry on with your tasks." She nodded as they obeyed.

"Greta." I thought I saw a twitch of sorrow as she gazed upon my cheek, but it was gone so fast I don't know if it was actually real or whether I just hoped it to be true. "Wear that mark with shame for disobeying orders. You will have no healing poultice, it will be a sufficient punishment for your actions. Now come here and help me prepare the roots."

She turned back to the counter and, stunned, I joined her.

"Grandmother, I don't understand anything." I said softly, trying to kindle the empathy I hoped was within her.

"I know you do not child. I admit it is not all your fault, but you must be trained. Alpha will know the appropriate course of action and will give his instruction at the ceremony. For now, we need to wash and cut these to go into the porridge." Her tone was hard.

A wave of exhaustion flooded my body. I had not slept well for weeks while my mother was dying and even less after her death. My father's immediate demise had been both expected yet unexpected, and awful. Afterwards my nights were spent fielding the questions and thoughts that plagued my mind since he took his own life.

Everything seemed too hard to bear. I felt my wolf nudge her nose to the vegetables. She was right, a mindless task would calm me. For the next thirty minutes I emptied my mind of everything but the tasks before me, refusing to allow my thoughts to centre on the unknown future.

When a hearty porridge had been made to Grandmother's satisfaction, a gong was sounded, summoning the men to the dining hall. I looked at the gloop and was unsure how anyone would want to eat it. I knew it contained many necessary nutrients and would benefit the health of the pack, but I also knew there were a hundred better ways to prepare it.

I had not found words in my throat to speak my opinion. I would rest, recuperate, and battle when I was ready. I knew I was not strong enough at the moment.

It would be easy to side-line my grief into anger at this new life, but I respected my parents and loved them enough to want to grieve for them honourably, not deferring it to another situation, but absorbing it and accepting it before moving forward.

"Deal with one task at a time Greta," my mother's voice ran in my head, "Just pick the most important one and give it your all."

I rolled my head round and stretched the tense muscles in my neck. She was still helping me, even after her death. All the lessons she had taught me lay just beneath the surface of my mind.

We took the tureen to the table and it was placed in front of the seat at the head of the table. My Grandmother stood with the ladle by the chair, an omega next to her. I knew it was an omega, not just because my wolf was able to sense the low level of power coming from her, but also because of the way her shoulders were stooped.

I sighed internally at this archaic system and was about to sit down when my elbow was yanked back with a clawed hand.

"We do not sit before the men," a voice hissed in my ear. I looked around to see all the women lining the walls while the men came and filled all the seats. A few glanced my way; some curious, some sneering, some indifferent, but no-one spoke to me. Most of them did not acknowledge the other women either, though I saw a few brief nods between those I presumed were mates.

When my grandfather entered the room the men stood and bowed their heads as did all the women. I was not as fast as the others and he growled warningly. I quickly followed suit, showing even more submission than was normal, hoping to correct my mistake.

After a long pause I breathed a sigh of relief as he sat down. Apparently my excessive submission was enough. The men followed suit and it was immediately obvious that there was no room for the women. My grandfather was served by my grandmother, then she stood back and handed the ladle to the omega who served all the other men, being careful not to touch anyone.

The men waited for Grandfather to start and once he did they took their fill, eating fast and calling for seconds without thought that the women had yet to eat.

I watched their faces, curious to see whether they enjoyed the gruel they had been served but saw no grimaces of distaste or reluctance to eat. It must be what they were used to. I laughed internally, they deserved it and I had no desire to give them any better. Perhaps I would keep my secret cooking skills to myself.

After the majority of the food had gone, Grandfather spoke.

"Everyone is to assemble in the courtyard at 8:30. No exceptions." He turned to the women, "I expect all your kitchen tasks to be finished. I have no wish to enter a dirty kitchen later."

I looked at my watch, it was 8 o'clock. How were we expected to eat and clear up in that time? My mouth opened to speak, so used to being able to voice my opinion whenever it wanted. Immediately my grandfather's steely gaze met mine, cold blue eyes boring deep, and I felt the force he was pushing towards me. Pure power, much too potent to push words through.

I closed my mouth and bowed my head.

As one, the men stood and left the table, leaving all their mess behind. As soon as the door shut, all the omegas rushed forwards and swept their bowls, cups, and spoons away, clearing the table for the rest of the women who sat down.

My grandmother caught my eye and signalled the chair next to her. I sat beside her, though my body wanted to assist the poor omegas running about so fast. I would help them tomorrow when I wasn't so exhausted.

We served ourselves, starting with my grandmother, who passed the bowl to me. I took an amount I estimated would leave enough for the rest of the women then passed the tureen to my left. The receiver being the lemon-faced woman, Eldra, who gave me a bitter look, filled with hatred.

What had I done to deserve it?

My thoughtfulness was wasted when I saw other women taking great scoopfuls of breakfast.

"What will the omegas eat if the porridge runs out?" I could not help but ask.

"Nothing." My Grandmother stated flatly.

"But why? Is there nothing else to eat? Why do we not make enough for everybody?" I couldn't understand.

"Whatever we make is enough to feed everybody, the men and Highers take as much as they want, it is their right. If there is nothing left for the Lowers, then they do not eat. We do not waste money and resources here." My grandmother said sharply, her very tone defying me to say more.

"But it's not wasting it to feed hungry people." I couldn't stop my words. Their rules seemed ridiculous to me.

"If they do not survive then they are too weak for our pack. If they cannot cope with their stomachs going hungry for a few days, they do not deserve their place. Now enough Greta, eat." Her hand banged down on the table but I was too struck by the horror of her words.

"You do not let them eat for days?"

"Enough!" she said sharply. "You do not question our ways. They are right and just, and have been set since the beginning. Who are you to question the Origins? It was told us not to waste our resources and we follow the rule to the letter. Stone Mountain Pack has honour in obedience."

I stared open mouthed at her, my mother had tried to warn me, but seeing things with my own eyes was far worse.

"Grandmother, it's not ok to let people go hungry in front of you when you have more than enough."

A gasp was heard around the table and quickly she reached out and slapped the same cheek that was already throbbing. I cried out in pain.

"I said ENOUGH!" she slapped me again on the same cheek, I was sure to have a massive bruise come out.

The omegas were still scurrying about, heads hanging even lower if possible.

"Looks like none of them will eat today," a gloating voice said. I looked to see the last woman already sat at the table, ladling the rest of the contents in the tureen into her bowl spitefully.

"Your words have caused this," my grandmother stated. "You have made them go hungry this morning."

That stung my already bruised heart. How could she be so cruel?

She raised an eyebrow, "You will learn obedience Greta." Then she turned to her breakfast and began eating, causing the other women to follow.

The omegas down sat at their empty places and bowed their heads slightly. There were four women going hungry at this table that had provided plenty of food. I could not tolerate it.

I stood and took my bowl to them.

"Greta, what are you doing?" My grandmother's shocked anger was enough to make my steps falter but not stop.

"I haven't got much, but I will share my meal with you." I borrowed their cutlery, spooning my breakfast into their bowls.

"Stop." My grandmother's order came.

I ignored her and shared my breakfast equally between us. We had a couple of small mouthfuls each. I felt the vibrations of my grandmother's anger, as well as the waves of shock rippling through the room. I returned to my seat and took up my own spoon.

"You yourself said it was up to the Highers how much food they wanted Grandmother. I just decided I was not as hungry as I thought."

I saw her skin itching, her wolf snarling at such disrespect. I could almost see her mind quickly scanning her options, but my words were true.

"You will learn girl, and seeing this disrespect for our traditions, I see it will be a long and painful journey for you. I will not disgrace myself with a lie, I look forward to seeing you humbled," she snarled then turned back to her breakfast.

The silence in the room was like a physical presence that pushed hard against my skin. My wolf was also leaning heavily against me, but it wasn't oppression I felt from her, she was giving me her support and seeking my comfort. She was proud of my actions but I sensed her worry at the words we were given.

I forced myself to shrug them off, there was nothing I could do now. Instead, I lifted my spoon.

I'm not gonna lie, when I put the first spoonful into my mouth, I was incredibly glad I had shared my portion.

We ate hurriedly and everyone attended to the clear up. No-one wanted to disobey my grandfather. I felt the sense of urgency as the kitchen was hurriedly put back to its original state. The only words that were spoken were ones of importance, no wasted moment was acceptable.

It made me feel a compression on my chest. I hoped it was not always like this, that there could be some fun and laughter as well. But I knew my hope was most likely in vain. There was no joy in the atmosphere, no happiness. Just a crushing sense of duty.

Suddenly I felt a hand squeeze mine softly. I let out a startled noise that had everyone looking at me. I saw one of the omegas hurrying to the side, a worried look on her face. I got the sense she could get in trouble for approaching me, perhaps even for touching me.

Thinking about it, they had carefully ensured that they touched no male while serving, and forcing my mind to flip through the rest of breakfast, I couldn't recall them letting a female touch them, other than another omega.

I wouldn't betray her.

"Sorry, I stubbed my toe."

I carried on, ignoring the eyes upon me. Once everyone had returned to their tasks, I felt another squeeze and saw an omega scuttling away. I was careful to make no more noise throughout the next few minutes as each one of the omegas pressed their silent thanks upon me.

I was affected by their actions and found it hard to control the tremors in my chest. The first act of kindness I had received here. The first show of affection. How low my life had become that I was nearly crying when merely receiving a touch on the hand.

A trickle of fear ran through me as I wondered whether all the life lessons my mother ingrained into me, would be obliterated by the time they had 'trained' me. I never wanted to lose the valuable insights she gave me, but I was weak at the moment.

My wolf growled at me for that and pushed the picture of me feeding the hungry omegas. Showing me she disagreed with my thoughts. I was not weak.

I may get tired, I may falter. But I was strong.