I was sitting in my room thinking about what the future hold for me and my child.

I want to be strong for him or her but I am still weak and I am still broken.

My dreams, my ambitions and everything are gone now.

I wanted to be a writer but now I don't think I can.

I laughed bitterly.

I don't even know if will make it out of the surgery room alive.

I walked to the window and saw the snow falling softly.

The small beautiful designs it had always amazed me.

All of them are so different from each other yet all are so beautiful.

I put my hand at the glass of window.

Its cold made my skin numb for a second and for some reason I really liked it.

Being numb huh... that would be so good.

But I know what warmth feels like and if I compare the both being with warmth seems more sensible but the warmth can also burn you and leave marks on your soul whereas the cold numb you.

For me cold was never ideal but its effect I like it now.

I was pulled out of the thoughts when I felt a sharp pain felt between my legs.

I cried a loud scream of pain and my body started to fall down.

The pain was too much.

Before I hit the floor though two cold arms wrapped around me and saved me from the fall.

Tanya. I though.

In a second everyone came into the room except Laurent and Irina as they had gone hunting.

I knew now is the time for the birth.

I was in too much pain.

It seems like my inside were ripping. It was too much.

I thought I was prepared for this but I understand now nothing can make me prepare for this.

Everything was blur I couldn't understand anything.

My brain has stopped working it seems.

Tears dwelled in my eyes as I screamed in pain again.

I heard someone calling my name.

I have heard that voice somewhere but I pinpoint where or who it was.

"Bella can you hear me?" I heard the same voice say it again.

Tanya?

My mind started to clear up a little.

''Bella I need you to push hard on 3". I heard Eleazar's voice.

I wanted to say something but it seems like every time I try to say something I end up screaming.

"Okay, 1...2...3...Push."

I pushed as hard as I could. My body was weak, too weak.

"Bella, one more time." I heard Eleazar saying. I pushed again.

"Bella sweetie, look at me. You are doing great okay. Just a little more Bella, please bear a little more."

"Bella. One more time." He said.

By this time every tip of my body hurt. It hurt so much.

My stomach was killing me. I had no energy left.

"Bella. You can do it." Tanya said.

I started sobbing.

The pain was too much. It was hurting everywhere.

I can't do it. I failed.

"Bella Bella. Bells don't you dare give up okay we all are here. Don't give up push Bella." A voice said.

Tanya?

I heard someone dry sobbing.

I can't just give up. I won't give up.

I made up my mind and gathered all the remaining strength in my body and pushed hard.

After a moment the pain was gone.

It was silent for a moment.

Then a cry was heard.

A baby cry.

My baby's cry.

My child.

I ...I am a mother now.

Tears escaped my eyes as I saw Eleazar with a baby covered in blood.

My blood.

My flesh.

My baby.

A part of me.

I smiled seeing it and tears continue to stream down my cheeks.

"Bella it's Renesme." Tanya said as she wrapped her cold arm around me.

"Beautiful" it was all I could speak before my heartbeat began to slow down.

All I could see was blur.

I could now think about anything else as the darkness took over me.

I was floating in the air or maybe I was in water.

Maybe I am dead.

I don't know what was happening.

I couldn't hear anything neither could I see anything.

It was all dark.

Maybe this is it?

Maybe this is the end.

Who am I even?

Why am I here?

I don't know anything.

It was like all had gone blank.

Then I felt it a small burning in my stomach and abdomen.

Why am I feeling like this?

Slowly it started to spread like fire, from my stomach to legs and arms. I can feel it travel up to my throat and head.

Fire.

I was on fire.

I felt like I want to scream but no sound came out of my mouth.

The pain was too much.

I felt like every part of my body was burning and my muscles were melting.

It was killing me. I can't feel anything except the pain.

All I wanted was to be dead.

I wanted to die.

I just want to die. I screamed.

But something was holding me back.

Something was not letting me let go.

You know like in the back of your mind you know that this is the reason but you can't pinpoint it.

Like you know the name and it's at the tip of your tongue but you can't seem to say it aloud.

Something was keeping me.

It felt like I was tied to something.

Or someone?

Renesme.

I felt like I was jolted with electricity.

I could not let her be alone.

My daughter.

My baby.

I can't leave her.

I won't give up.

I would fight for you my baby.

I would fight it.

I felt the pain started to burn me more like laughing and taunting me.

I won't give up.

I focused on one thing only.

My Renesme, my daughter.

She needs me.

I don't fucking back down now.

With every ouch of energy I fought the pain.

After what felt like forever the pain started to fade away.

I first felt fire leave from my fingertips then hand and then the whole body. And my heartbeat started to slow down.

Just when I thought it could be over I was welcomed with the most death wishing pain.

My heart was beating harshly. It was too much.

The pain from before seems so minor now.

My heart was beating very wilding.

I can y heart beating and slowly it started to pumps slowly.

Four heartbeats.

Three heartbeats.

Two heartbeat.

One heartbeat.

It was silent.

Finally all pain was over except my throat.

"Why is she not opening her eyes?" A bell like voice asked.

"I don't know. It should have been over. It's been four days."

Four? I thought it is only three days.

I finally opened my eyes. And it was like I have truly seen for the first time.

I was welcomed to a very different world.

I could see the patterns in the ceiling and slight cracks in the wall.

I could see every dust particles in the air.

I sat up on the bed with such speed that it only took me a millisecond.

I saw seven pairs of golden eyes on me.

My instincts kicked in and I jumped down and crouched in front of them and let out a growl.

"Bella its okay it's just us." A soft voice said.

It took me a second to recognize her.

Carmen.

She was...so beautiful.

More beautiful than before.

I slowly started to stand straight.

I was then tackled in a hug by my three sisters and I gigged. I was shocked to listen to my own voice. I sounded like bells.

"Bella we missed you. You know you have been out for four days."

Shock can be heard in Tanya's voice.

"I am fine sis. Don't worry so much about me." I said with a giggle.

Everyone laughed relieved that I was alright.

"Bella you need to hunt. I will take you." Laurent said.

Irina nodded.

I was right I was in a whole new world.

A whole new me.

I promise to be better and stronger.

Hi guys another edited chapter. Again thank you for 150k readers.