Still looking for that funny write... And Robert TheAlvarezChronicles was right; we sure do need a lot more lols... Or lolling? So I've been racking my brain really. And, it came to me that rather than a 'story', I might just fill you in on some 'moments' involving one or two or the three of us making up this little family... Maybe some moments when the other, extended members might poke in too...

There was one time down on the coast? I went to the petrol station, promptly filled the tank and then realised my wallet was still at home. I tried to explain and usually - or so I was told - when people have no money to pay, they leave their licence behind right, to make sure they come back? Having no wallet, I had no licence. So Dylan became my 'collateral'... I had to leave him there as hostage, so that I could rush home and grab the wallet? He wasn't impressed... On my return and having gotten the embarrassment out of my head, I questioned the lawfulness of keeping my underage child "as collateral". I was told he wasn't really "hostage" as they didn't place him "behind" the counter as they would with a licence? Not happy, I contacted Head Office. I got a profuse apology, got told the franchise in question would be chastised and that I would be duly compensated for the embarrassment and 'trauma' the incident caused me and my son...

Two weeks later, we got an envelope in the mail. There were 5 vouchers for free medium 'slurpies' inside... We never got to use them anyway since mum cleaned the car and threw them out?

Then there's this: Everyone in my 'real world' knows I'm no cook. But there was this one Christmas I was determined to prove them wrong see? I was at the doctor's office with dad and browsing through a ten-year old Woman's Day, I saw this most splendiferous table centrepiece. Looked easy enough, make a cardboard cone, buy some strawberries and cherries, melt some chocolate, dip half of each strawberry and cherry in chocolate and stick them to the cone, working your way upwards... A delicious, edible 'Christmas' tree.

'Guests' could then pick a choc-covered strawberry or cherry off the tree? Easy right? And the picture looked so scrumptious! I had this image of a dozen or so hands reaching out to grab pieces of this deliciousness...

Turns out I didn't factor in the size of the cone I created (big cone = big visual impact yeah?) when I began dipping strawberries and cherries and... I had underestimated the number of each fruit I would need by at least half a dozen punnets each and being Christmas Day, all the shops were shut - so my splendiferous centrepiece ended being... well you be the judge:

As an accompaniment to this, I also purchased a rather large ladder. It had a Santa on it, who was supposed to climb up and down see? That was to be an amusement for the two little ones in the family. He worked just fine up to the moment I decided to proudly 'turn him on' once everyone had arrived. I turned him on alright; the silly bugger just got stuck up top and well... humped that ladder for dear life? He was going at it maniacally, I swear, it had all the makings of an intro to a XXX movie. Little eyes were covered up and three people jumped for the off button.. There was music and yeah, Santa's face as he humped that ladder... I think none of us will forget his misadventure!

Then there was the time we were renovating my dream café...Dylan Marcus and Boyd said they'd do the painting, since this was a few months after the accident and my back was still 'raw'... I gave them a wall to start off with. Just white paint, undercoat and top coat all in one. I explained the process, dip roller in paint, roll it back and forth a couple of times to remove any excess paint then paint the wall in smooth vertical sweeps. Two hours later, I returned from getting some supplies to this: (and that's Boyd, he said he was adding the 'finishing touches'?)

The pavers out the front needed to be re-filled. Now the beach was right across the road, so an endless supply of 'free' sand. But how to carry it? The three amigos found a broken flat-wheeled wheelbarrow and with some rope and duct tape... They pushed that thing across a very busy road, oftentimes tipping it over and leaving small mounds of sand...

Then of course me being me, I had to do the silly thing: Stand on a half-busted timber box 'hiding' the water meters... Box collapsed and I landed on the water meters... on my back, both elbows bearing the weight. (I still have a small unhealed fracture in my left elbow but hell, who cares...) Smacked my head against the brick wall in the process too, just to complete the experience? Apparently I just lay still and moaned a lot until the ambos gave me this little whistle thing to suck on? Oh I sucked on that thing! There's a video my cruel son took, where I apparently tell him how good this stuff is and does he want to try it? Said some other things too - about drugs - which are unrepeatable - but I just kept pushing this whistle at him the whole time? He said he rolled his eyes at the ambos a lot. They just nodded?

Our stints of geocaching have produced some funny moments too... Like the time I had my two plus another, so three teenage boys... There was one 'cache' cleverly hidden deep in the bush, and we'd spent a good hour looking for it. From memory, Marcus noticed it first but it was Dyls who actually took it upon himself to proudly show it off in all its glory. There are other photos, this was the 'cleanest', I mean get three teenage boys and this thing, you get a whole lot of 'fun'...

Of course, when you have a disabled father in the family, there are certain things you just get used to. Like the falls. One time, we decided to drive into the city for a coffee. I double-parked illegally, just so Dylan could do his thing: get the frame out from the boot, get dad out of the front seat and get him attached to the frame... Only this time things went not according to plan. Dad decided to get himself out and walk the three metres to the nearest table. Yep. Faceplant. Busted nose, bruised face, two broken ribs... and a crowd gathered, taking photos on their mobiles... Never understand about this photo-taking business. Why do they do it and yeah, where are all those photos of us having misadventures ending up?

Funny thing this, scrolling through the thousands of photos and recalling moments when life just didn't work for us - the way it is supposed to?

Yesterday Dylan bought a 'scratchie', one of those things you buy for a dollar and scratch to see if you have won some money? Part of his 'expanding' his over 18 status... He said, "You never know mum, I could be instantly rich! I could buy a yacht!"

I pointed out that first prize on the one dollar scratchies was 10k.

"Hmmm, I'd buy a dinghie then I guess. Call it..." Then ensued a series of names, Marcus in the car with us also. Yes I was in fits of laughter. They were at it again, and a flurry of ridiculousness ensued. Somehow, the conversation ended up at World War II - don't ask.

"I got the perfect name," Dyls said suddenly, after discussing how many 'Allied' ships and boats had been sunk...

"The one you missed, suckers!" That's what he would call it. Apparently?