Throughout the lesson, Caspian attempted to initiate several conversations which I immediately dampened and wet blanketed with a cold monosyllable or two, fearful that if I engaged in a pleasant conversation the warm tingle would revive itself, and it was for this same reason that I desperately avoided the gaze of his kind eyes.

At the end of the lesson, I stood, about to leave, when Caspian caught my attention, with a,
"Excuse me madam but I believe this is yours", he held up the borrowed pencil to me with a charming smile, which I returned with a scowl. Glaring at the pencil with an expression of disgust, as though it dripped with poison, I sharply said, in the most icy, crisp tone I could muster,
"Keep it". Then, blinding myself to his hurt expression, I stiffly turned and walked away.

Thankfully we now had a short break from classes. I went to the washroom and turned on the tap, before splashing the water on my face to cool down my hot cheeks and hectic feelings. I watched the water swirl down the plug. I felt... confused. I firmly shook my head, an action which caused me to drag my eyes up to the mirror. The eyes that stared back at me were big and scared, a window that peered into my heart, revealing the turmoil I was feeling.

My heart felt like a stormy sea with all my conflicted emotions.

I could not shake Caspian's kind eyes and warm touch from my mind. I had to snap out of it! I love Christopher, not Caspian. My Christopher is kind, caring, gentle and handsome. Caspian is an idiot who didn't even have his own pencil on his first day of class! I gave my face another quick rinse before stepping back and sitting on the closed hamper, my hands holding my head. I didn't know what to do, I just felt so tired and confused.