“Jessica, this is a serious problem. Your infatuation with your fricking Herbology teacher is creepy as fuck.”

“I know Katie-cat. But he’s just so...dreamy.”

“For God’s sake, pull yourself together. HE IS MARRIED!”

“I NEVER JUDGED YOU WHILE YOU FAN GIRLED OVER HARRY POTTER!”

“THAT’S BECAUSE YOU JOINED ME IN FAN GIRLING OVER HARRY POTTER!”

“NO I DIDN’T! THAT WAS ME SUPPORTING YOUR FAN GIRLING!”

“You two fangirled over Harry Potter?”

The two screaming girls turned around and looked at the boy opposite them.

“Who are you?” Jessica asked, staring at the boy oddly.

“IT’S JAMES! OH HOLY SHIT IT DIDN’T SAY HE WENT TO THIS SCHOOL I CANNOT –“  Kate passed out onto the floor, but Jessica just left her to lie there.

“James who?”

“James Potter.”

“Oh, okay.” Jessica said, looking at her friend on the ground. “I think you rendered my best friend unconscious.”

“Sorry.”

“Nah, don’t be. She was only harassing me anyway.” Jess sat down on the ground beside Kate.

“About what?” James said, awkwardly shuffling to sit next to her.

He thought Jessica was very pretty.

He liked that she had a face.

James really had a thing for faces.

“Well, I’m kind of obsessed with Professor Longbottom.” Jess shrugged.

“He is totally dreamy.” James nodded.

“Are you mocking me, you lil’ shit?”

“Perhaps I am, you human sized shit.”

“You fucker.”

“I never thought you were a chicken shit. I never thought of you at all.”

“Until you asked me to be part of it. Now you’re showing me your wall.”

“Wow, you know Damien Rice.”

“Dude, he’s like my favourite singer.”

The pair continued to converse about their favourite Damien Rice songs. (Seriously, go listen to his songs on youtube, he’s perf.) And they were laughing like a pair of little kids slowly falling for each other. This may or may not have been because they were just kids, or because they were falling for each other.

“Ohh! Jamie boi!” A voice shouted.

“Who dis be?”

Allison and Grace sat themselves amongst the flirtatious pair and the unconscious form of Kate.

“Oh, this is Jessica.” James said hurriedly. “She’s my friend.”

Jessica blinked a couple of times. She’d never really had any friends apart from Kate, who she’s known since the womb. Although she’d just met James, she felt as if she’d known him a lot longer.

“This is Allison and Grace.”

“Call me Allie.” Allison smiled.

“Call me Grace.”

“Call me maybe.” Said another voice from behind them.

Eww. It was this guy from Hufflepuff called Spork.

“Hi Ppork.” They all sighed.

No one in the school knew spork’s real name, or parents. He claimed he was the son of a spoon and fork. But he was so deformed he was human. No one really knew a whole lot about Spork, except to accept him.

“Greetings peers. I made you all sculptures of my parents.” He smiled, handing them spoons and forks.

“Thanks spork.” They all sighed.

Except for Jess. She looked surprisingly thrilled.

“HOW BEAUTIFUL SPORK I AM SO HAPPY I SHALL CHERISH THEM FOREVER!”

“THANKYOU SO MUCH JESSICA YOU ARE A WICKED PARTY PIE!”

And spork ran away.

I am literally so confused what am I even writing.