Couple annoucements, please stay tuned. 

1)- Before you begin, please turn this song on, Ocean Wide by The Afters. I feel like it really goes with this chapter while you read.(: Here's the link, : it will also be in the youtube thing and the external link!

2)-This chapter is dedicated to Lexi0305. Happy Birthday!(: 

3)-I got this huge hate message today& I answered it immaturely. So, person, if you're reading this, while I mean everything I said, I could've answered that much more maturely. I apologize on that. You caught me at a bad time. 

Please guys, even if you don't like the story, please don't send hate messages. It hurts. It really does. Cause authors try. And just because we can't satisfy YOU, doesn't mean we want you to bitch at us for this. There are plenty of other authors, genres, stories to read instead of wasting your time with that message. 

4)- Thanks for all the Happy Birthdays guys!!(:

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                “I’m so sorry for your lose.” An unfamiliar face said. My mother nodded, saying a quiet thank you as she stood respectfully by the open casket.

                People had been walking up all afternoon. I had recognized some, but there were many more I didn’t know. I had never realized that Chase would have been a social person. It never crossed my mind. It made sense with his great people skills.

                I held Mason in my arms. His head laid on my shoulder, eyes closed. He had long since grown bored a while ago, but I couldn’t blame him. He didn’t know who Chase was.

                The funeral had been scheduled two days after his death in the local church. Though I didn’t know the pastor personally, I found that he delivered the service beautifully.

                I had told him ahead of time that I wanted to say something for my father.

                The words were written on note cards before me, but the letters had been smudged together due to the tears that fell from my eyes.

                “Chase was a good man.” I began, speaking quietly into the microphone. “He was my biological father. He tried to see me, but when the cancer took over, he found it easier to stay in one place than move around. I have to give him props for coming here just to see me.

                “I had had a negative picture of him in the beginning. I had thought that he never visited, always missed my school plays and concerts. But I was young and naïve. I was wrong.

                “Chase had always been there. Up until three years before he fell victim to cancer, he had shown up to every one of my events. I can’t remember a time when he didn’t show up to see me sing in our school choir in middle school or when I had played a season of softball. He was at every game.

                “I can remember when a time when I had my first speaking role in our play. Chase had bought me six flowers, each for one of my lines in the play. Those were the first flowers I had ever gotten from someone.

                “Chase had good intentions. He always tried to make everyone happy, whether it was at his expense or not. He didn’t deserve the leukemia. I had been so sure that he would make it out. Chase was strong, or at least he pretended to be.”

                I faltered, a tear slipping out. I flipped through the cars, trying to find my place again.

                “Um. Chase was… he was never… Chase was always…”

                I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. My hand shot out, swiping the cards off the podium they rested on. They fell to the floor quietly.

                I turned around, staring at the casket behind me.

                “Daddy, I loved you. I loved you so much. I tried to stay mad at you for leaving me for so long, but, Daddy, I couldn’t. I loved you too much.”

                I turned back, looking at the crowd of people staring at me. A few had puffy eyes, most solemn faces.

                “I’m sorry, I can’t…” My voice cracked.

                I quickly walked away from the podium, walking past my mother and brother who sat in the front row. She gave me a concerned look.

                I needed to get out of there.

                I left the sanctuary, walking out into the daylight. It was surprisingly warm for a November afternoon.

                I rubbed away the tears, trying to keep my make-up from smudging. 

                My feet buckled out from under me, sending me falling to the ground. My fists clenched, teeth gritted.

                “Why, Daddy, why?” I asked, looking at the sky. “Why did you leave me? Daddy, I needed you.”

                The wind picked up slightly, brushing my hair.

                “I love you so much, Daddy.” I blinked furiously trying to hold back the tears “You can’t just leave me! You can’t! Daddy, I need you! Please come back.”

                I buried my face in my hands, my body hunched forward. I couldn’t do this. My heart literally felt like it was going to stop beating any moment.

                It was worse than anything Jason had made me feel.

                Someone came, sitting next to me. I didn’t move, staring intently at the ground. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pressing his lips to my forehead.

                “How you holding up?” Cody asked.

                “He can’t just leave.” I whispered “He can’t. I needed him, Cody.”

                “Joey, he stayed as long as he could.”

                “No, he was supposed to live another month!”

                Cody shook his head, “Chase told me that he wasn’t going to make it this long. He had been surprised that he was going this long.”

                “You don’t understand. Chase is going to get better! He’s going to beat cancer.”

                “Was, Joey.” Cody corrected.

                I tilted my head back, glaring at the sky. This wasn’t fair. Chase didn’t deserve to die.

                “He told me something.” Cody said. He reached into his pocket, pulling out a folded piece of paper. “He said not to read it, but to give it to you when he passed away.”

                “Did you listen?” I asked, meeting his eyes.

                Cody smirked, “Course I did.”

                He dropped it onto my lap. I could see my name scrawled on it in faint letters. “Read it when you want to. I’m going to go back into the church.”

                Cody stood up, his knees cracking.

                I watched him leave, the note heavy in my lap. The church door closed, sealing me off from the rest of the mourning people.

                Carefully, I unfolded the paper. A few photographs fell out. I tucked them behind the note, not glancing at them.

                Chase’s sloppy hand writing filled it entirely.

Joey-

          As I’m writing this, you’re probably in your house thinking over my advice. Baby girl, I know you’re going to be upset with me when you find this, but I was never supposed to live this long. I can feel my heart struggling to beat.

          It’s beating for you, sweetie.

          I want you to do something for me. Don’t mourn. I didn’t live my life for you to sit here moping around all the time.

          Live your life.

          Make up with Jason.       

          Forgive Caden.

          Meet a new boy.

          Baby girl, I love you so much. I want you to live the life I’d envy. Enclosed are three of my favorite photos. You’ll notice who the star is in all of them.

          You’ve been the light of my life ever since I found out your mother was pregnant.

          Remember me as you grow up, but don’t get stuck on me. I know this is going to be hardest on you. Our relationship as grown so much over these past few weeks. I don’t regret telling you that I have cancer. I don’t regret growing this bond with you.

          Appreciate life as it is now. Don’t give up on your dreams. Don’t hold back on life. Live it to the fullest.

          Promise me that.

          I love you so much baby girl.

          I hope that you can forgive me for giving up. I waited as long as I could. I know you’ll be able to fix all your boy problems. I believe in you. I know you’ll be able to keep going now.

                                      Watching you from Heaven above

                                                                             Your father

                                                                                      Chase

                I pulled the photographs out from behind the paper, looking at the first. My eyes at started to water. I bit my lip to hold them back.

                I was five in the first one. I had on a fairy outfit with a pumpkin bucket. My hair had been dolled up in sparkles for this moment.

                Chase held me in his arms, his eyes on me. His smile was one that I hadn’t seen in a while.

                The second one was of me holding my baby brother. Mason was a newborn, cradling delicately in my arms. I didn’t want to give him up. I stared at him incrediously in the picture, clutching him tightly to me. I was eleven.

                The last was of Chase holding me as a baby. His face mimicked mine in the first. He cradled me to his chest, my eyes closed. Chase’s eyes had a shine to them, hinting that they had been watery when this was taken.

                I folded the photos and the papers back up, tucking it into my bra.

                I smiled, staring out at the horizon.

                I didn’t look up as a body sat next to mine, stretching his legs out. I closed my eyes, leaning my head on his shoulder, blowing hair out to move my bangs.

                Caden wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pressing his lips gently to my temple.

                “You ok?” He asked quietly.

                I nodded, “I think I’m gonna be alright.”

                “You know I’m here if you need me.” He squeezed me gently.

                “Yeah, thanks.”

                He didn’t say anything. I didn’t have anything else to say. We sat in silence. I leaned on Caden, holding back the tears.

                Chase wanted me to be strong. He wanted me to live my life as best I could. I sent a silence promise to Chase that I wouldn’t wallow in sadness over him.

                I would be strong.

                I would move on.

                I would live my life to the fullest.

                Just like he would have wanted.

                I tilted my head up, staring at the sky. Chase would be looking down now, watching me sit here. A gentle breeze picked up, blowing my hair. I tucked a strand behind my ear.

                Caden stood up, holding a hand out for me. I gratefully accepted it.

                He pulled me up into his chest, wrapping his arms around my body. Caden pulled my head against his chest, locking his fingers together around me. I wrapped my arms around his waist, inhaling his scent. He rested his cheek on the top of my head and just held me.

                “Thank you, Caden.” I whispered just loud enough for him to hear.

                He squeezed me, letting me know he heard.

                I smiled gently into his chest.

                “Pumpkin, think you can go back in?” Caden asked, pulling away.

                I closed my eyes, inhaling slowly. “I think so.”

                Caden gave me an encouraging smile before slipping his hand into mine. He led me back into the church, the breeze following us all the way in. I shivered slightly, stepping into the warmth of the sanctuary.

                We sat in the back where there were less people so as to draw less attention. Caden set his arm against the back of the pew, allowing me to lean into him.

                My eyes made their way across the audience in front of us. They listened intently to the preacher as he finished up the sermon.

                I glanced at Jason. He sat next to his mother, slouched forward. Though his hair covered most of his face, I knew that his eyes would be red. I wanted to hug him and tell him everything was alright, but he hadn’t spoken to me once since the phone call.

                The service ended. People stood up, getting ready to get into cars. From there we would drive to the cemetery where Chase’s casket would be lowered into the ground. I didn’t know if I could handle that part.

                “Joanna, right?” A lady asked from behind me. I turned around in my seat to see an elderly lady with a fuzzy coat on.

                I nodded, unsure of whom she was.

                Her eyes shimmered slightly as she spoke, “I’m Chase’s mother. You’re my granddaughter.”

                My eyes widened in surprise. “You’re my grandmother?”

                She nodded.

                “I…I don’t know what to say.” I confessed.

                She laughed once “You look so much like Chase. But I can still see your mouth in you.”

                I bit my lip.

                “I’d like to get to know you better.” She said, “Since you’re my granddaughter after all. If you’re ok with that, that is.”

                “I—of course I am.” I said “I’d like that.”

                She smiled, “Thank you.”
                “Did Ch—Dad tell you he had cancer?” I asked, correcting myself. Did she know I called him Chase instead of Dad?

                She shook her head solemnly “I got a call from Cody over there saying that my son had died from a heart attack. Only two days ago did I learn that he was suffering from cancer.”

                “They said he only had a month left to live.”

                “I’m glad he spent it with his daughter.” She smiled “He would’ve liked that.”

                “I liked spending his last weeks with him.” I said truthfully. I glanced back at Caden who sat watching the whole conversation. “Oh, uh grandma, this is my friend Caden.”

                “Hello, Caden.” She said shaking hands. I noticed how her face lightened up when I called her grandma.

                “Hello ma’am.” Caden smiled gently

                “Well, I best be getting into my car. The cemetery isn’t as close as you’d think it is.” She said, clearly trying to hold back her tears.