It sounded like he had choked on water. Chase coughed a few times before responding to me. “Joey! Oh my—how are you baby-girl?”

            “Don’t call me that” I said in a monotone voice “What do you want?”

            “Don’t give me attitude, young lady” He said, trying to sound strict

            “Please” I rolled my eyes “You’re not my father.”

            He sighed

            “Look, Chase, what do you want?” I snapped, shivering slightly in the wind. I had arrived to a small play ground. I sat down on one of the swings.

            “I was in town and I thought it would be nice if we met up somewhere” He suggested.

            I hesitated. I hadn’t seen him in so long…maybe it would be nice to see him once again. “When?”

            “Uh…” He didn’t seem to have planned for me to say yes “Whenever you can”

            “Now?”

            “Don’t you have school?”

            “I skipped”

            Chase laughed “Alright, where are you? I’ll pick you up”

            I gave him directions on where to find me. I didn’t know where we were going and I could only pray that he wouldn’t tell Mom about this.

            I sent Jason a text while I waited for Chase to arrive.

            I’m coming over tonight, ok?

            I had barely closed my phone when he answered with an ‘Ok’. I smiled, glad that we were close enough for me to do that.

            I waited roughly fifteen more minutes before I saw the vaguely familiar green truck pull up along the curb. I stood up hesitantly, wrapping my arms around my waist. I saw Chase walk around the side, motioning for me to come in the car.

            I quickly walked over, meeting him halfway.

            Chase didn’t look himself. His hair was no longer there. I doubted he would shave it off. Chase used to be in love with his hair, so it was a shock to me that he had none. His eyes were sunken in, dark circles surrounding them. I wondered if he had slept much recently. His clothes bagged around him, thin arms crossed at the chest.  He smiled at me, his face full of sadness.  

             “Hey” He said, coughing slightly. I smiled back, walking with him back to his truck. Chase walked around the other side, getting into the car. I noticed that he was walking differently.

            I blasted the heat, trying to warm up my frozen body.

            “Why aren’t you in school?” He asked

            I shrugged “I didn’t want to go. Can you call me off sick?”

            He nodded.

            “So” I said, trying to get into a conversation with him “What did you want to talk to me about?”

            “Do you want to get some food?”

            “It’s only nine…” I trailed

            “Still time for breakfast” He smirked, starting the car up. I rolled my eyes, keeping my body hovered over the heat vents.

            We drove in silence, leaving the music off. Chase called the school and told them I was sick. At least now Mom wasn’t going to yell at me. I gave Chase directions to the local Denny’s. He must have been gone for a while for him to forget where his favorite restaurant was.

            He parked, getting out slowly. I held the door for him as we walked in.

            “So how’s school coming along?” Chase asked as we slid into the booth. I shrugged, glancing over the menu hungrily. The restaurant was fairly noisy for a Tuesday morning. I wasn’t the only kid here. A mother with a small child sat at a table on the other end of the restaurant. Couples were spread out around, most of them looking retired.

            “It’s been alright”

            “You got a boyfriend yet?”

            “I’ve had” I muttered irritably. He would know if he was ever involved in my life.

            “Really?” He sighed “How old are you now?”

            “Fifteen” I snapped.

            “Damn, the years have flown by” He chuckled to himself about something. “You are so much like your mother”

            “Uh… thanks” I mumbled.

            The waiter came by then. He took our orders quickly, cracking a few jokes. Chase laughed at them while I sat in the booth smiling awkwardly.

            Chase turned back to me once he walked away “So how’s your mother?”

            “Mom’s doing alright” I said, leaving out the fact that her drinking has worsened “She’s got a new job as a secretary now”

            He smiled “I can just imagine her now. Taking orders from someone else.”

            I laughed slightly “Well, she’s managing”

            “Is she still dating that Roy fellow?”

            I shook my head “They broke up a few years ago”

            “Have I been gone that long?”

            I nodded solemnly.

            “How about that brother of yours? Mason? How old is he now?”

            “He’s three” I said. The waiter handed us drinks, interrupting our conversation. Chase and I were silent until he walked away entirely, looking back at each other.

            I sipped on my drink slowly.

            “He’s Cody’s kid right?”

            I nodded “Yeah”

            “Cody still dating Hannah?”

            I nodded again “You could find all this out if you actually bothered to say ‘hi’ every once in a wall, you know”

            Chase sighed “I know.”

            “Then why don’t you”

            “Joey, do you know why I came back here?”

            “You mean it wasn’t because you missed your daughter?” I asked with mock-hurt.

            He rolled his eyes at me “Aside from that”

            “No, what?”

            He sighed, sitting up straight “I have cancer”

            My eyes widened. “Are you serious?”

            He nodded “Yes.”

            “What kind?”

            “Leukemia”

            I sat back, staring at him. I focused on his features, putting together all the hints. The loss of hair meant he must’ve been on chemotherapy. His morbid expression, his thin arms, why his clothes bagged, all showing just how much energy the cancer was taking from him.

            It’s a scary thought to see a family member with cancer. While I’d never been close to Chase in any way, he was still my father. Without him I wouldn’t have existed. I still held a spot for him in my heart.

            “It’s technically called Acute Myelogenous Leukemia.” Chase explained further “It’s one of the most common forms of Leukemia. Unfortunately, my body isn’t reacting well to chemotherapy. As of right now, it’s incurable”

            “Wait… are you going to…?” I trailed off, unable to finish the sentence.

            He nodded “Yes. The doctors haven’t given me an exact time limit yet, but I won’t be around long”

            I could feel my eyes start to water. My father, the man whose sperm I was made of, was going to die.

            “Why isn’t chemo working?” I said, my voice cracking at the end. “It’s supposed to kill the cancer cells! Why isn’t it working?”

            “It’s supposed to destroy cancer cells but sometimes it can’t tell the different between a healthy and a cancerous cell” Chase explained “With my body, its killing off just as many healthy cells as cancerous ones”

            I put a hand over my mouth, my lips quivering. Our food arrived then. I avoided eye contact with the waiter, who walked away as quickly as he could. He could clearly tell something was wrong.

            “I wanted you to know first, Joey” Chase said “I haven’t told your mother or Cody. I want you to know that I’ve got almost all of my money going into an account for just you. I’m going to stay at the hospital nearby for the remainder of my time.”

            “I can’t believe you’re going to die” I whispered to myself. I felt a tear slip down my cheek. I couldn’t imagine a world where Chase was fully gone. I always felt like he was close by, just watching from the edges.

            I don’t know what I’d do if I knew he would never come again.

            “I’ll visit you every chance I get” I vowed

            He smiled “You don’t have to.”

            “You’re my father, Chase. I want to”

            His eyes shined for a moment, just as watery as mine were.

            “Excuse me for a moment” I said, my voice cracking. I stood up, walking quickly to the restroom. I brushed past the waiter, who gave me a concerned look.

            Once inside, I locked the door, screaming out. I grabbed a handful of paper towels, ripping them apart in my hands.

            Why my father? Why couldn’t it be someone else’s? He may not have been in my life much, but why did he have to have cancer? Why didn’t the chemotherapy work?

            I cried out again, slamming my fists against the counter top. I could feel the tears started to rapidly run down my cheeks as I cried out.

            No, I have to be strong. I can’t let Chase see how much this is hurting me. It’ll hurt him. He needs as much of his energy as he can get.

            I can’t let him waste any on seeing me suffer.

            Five minutes later, I walked out of the bathroom, my eyes only slightly red. I sat down across from him at the booth, poking at my food. I noticed that he was nearly done with his.

            “I stole your bacon” He smirked “Hope you don’t mind”

            “What the fuck” I frowned “I was going to eat that!”

            He shrugged, smiling again. I was trying to keep myself in check, hoping that I didn’t lose it again.

            It was silent as we finished up. Chase paid the bill while I left a tip. Neither of us spoke much as we walked out to the car, stomachs’ full.

            “So where am I dropping you off?” He asked

            “Uh… can you drop me off at my friend Jason’s?” I asked

            Chase frowned “A boy’s house?”

            “Its Hannah’s son”

            “Oh” He sighed, leaning back “Just give me directions there”

            I nodded, quietly obliging.

            “So, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell your mother about this” Chase said “I’d rather tell her myself, if you don’t mind”

            “Of course not” I said “Left up here”

            “You know how she gets if she doesn’t hear it from the source and all…” He laughed.

            I giggled “I understand entirely. Why’d you tell me first?”

            “You’re my daughter” He said. I waited for more than those three little words, but Chase didn’t say anything.

            “Make a right here” I muttered “Did you tell your parents?”

            “No”

            “You must’ve known about this for a while” I said “Why are we just finding out now?”

            “I was hoping it would disappear within a year or two, but when it didn’t, I realized I needed to let you know. Aside from my parents, you’re the only family I’ve got”

            “Mom and Cody care”

            “Yeah, but they won’t mourn long. I don’t think you will either, but you are half mine” He teased.

            “I’m offended, Chase” I smiled slightly “Why wouldn’t I care? You’re still my dad. Even if I haven’t seen you in quite some time”

            “I’m glad you do” He grinned.

            “Right into this development. It’s the third one on the left”

            “Gotcha”

            Chase pulled into the driveway, stalling the car. I grabbed my backpack, opening the passenger door. Chase walked out, meeting me in the front of the car.

            I smiled, wrapping my arms carefully around him. He hissed slightly in pain, gripping me back loosely. I pulled back, trying not to hurt him.

            Chase rested his hands on my shoulders, smiling down proudly. I saw his eyes glimmer in the sunlight.

            “Bye Daddy” I whispered, hugging him gently one more time.

            “Bye Joey” He said back, just as quietly

            I pulled back, walking over to the front door. I took the key out of its hiding place under the matt, slipping it into the door knob.

            Chase pulled out once the door was closed behind me.

            The house was silent.

            I hadn’t text Jason, so he would still be at school. Cody didn’t get off work until five and I figured Hannah would be at the gym until then.

            I dropped my bag on the ground by the door, stepping out of my shoes. I could feel the tears coming back as I walked up the stairs to Jason’s room.

            I opened the door, sitting on top of his bed. I pulled Jason’s pillow against me, pressing my face into it.

            And then I just went loose.

            I cried.

            I hadn’t cried as badly as I did then in so many years. Sob after sob ripped through my broken body as the water streamed down my face. I could barely breathe as I tightly gripped the pillow. I didn’t care how loud I was in this empty house; thankfully that Jason was still at school.

            I thought about all the memories I had of Chase when I was younger. I remembered he used to come over every few weekends and just take me out for the day. We would go to a park, and get ice cream. Sometimes, he would take me to the toy story and buy me as many toys as I was old. Those where the days.

            This was before Mason was even a thought in my mother’s mind. I understood why he had been gone so long. But to try and imagine a world where he didn’t exist anymore?

            I wasn’t sure I would be able to attend his funeral.

            “Oh god” I whispered at the thought of a funeral for my father. I buried my face further into the pillow as another sob ripped through me.

            Eventually, I felt myself collapse with lack of energy. I curled against his pillow and literally cried myself into sleep.

            My dreams were haunted of Chase’s funeral.

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