My mind is not what it use to be
It is full of the reality of the world my mother tried so hard to sheltered me from
It races constantly like the TV left on in my bedroom at night
How is it I can smile on the surface and cry underneath
I struggle with wave a of energy that doesn't seem to belong to me
My body is not what it use to be
It is over run with toxic food
run down by hard labor
Broken to the point that when I look into a mirror I no longer see myself
I am a shell
A shell so hollow inside
yet on the outside I look full
So beautiful and refined
Then why don't I see it
I have bags under my eyes
My stomach has grown in size
No time to do my hair the way I want
My relationships seem forged
Mentally I'm tired
Physically I'm exhausted
And all for what
I still feel empty
My mind speaks to me
My body yells at me
My emotions take control
and sometime I just throw my hands up and surrender
This person before you
This image the can look you in the eye and smile
As if carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders is the most easiest thing
This shell that just goes with flow as if life is a production and the show must go on regardless of what has happened
I love with all my being
I feel with all my soul
I care way too much about everything
I feel ugly on the inside
When he tells me I am beautiful
Please inform me
What beauty do you see
My mind is not what it use to be
My body is not what it use to be
This person standing before you is not who I am meant to be
So how do I break free
Of this unwanted fantasy