I have been in a state of denial.

Not wanting to be faced with the truth

When the truth stands right before me

I've been denying myself the right to cry

Because my last memories will be of something painful

I'm not ready to deal with this

What hurts more is I know the suffering will be over for one side

and just begin for the rest of us

But I can't claim the Lord is cruel because I know what is to be is to be

Yet like a child I will through a tantrum

I will say it's not time

And I will kick and shout

At the spiritual father who gave this world life

My heart feels heavy

I don't want to claim this emotion

but it seems to want to claim me

I refuse to cry

But my tears keep falling

I'm sorry

I'm sorry

I'm sorry

Please don't leave

Please stay here

Don't go

Lord please don't do this

Please...we are frail

And this would only crush us.