I watch Tani dancing with her boyfriend, and even though it was gross watching them eye fuck each other on the dance floor I couldn't help but be jealous. I wanted someone to look at me like that, touch me like that.

Okay fuck that's gross now.

"Do you want to dance?" I look up to see Atharva standing in front of me, his hand extended forward for me to take. I stare at it for few seconds, especially at the ring, noticing a small carving on it, it had the letter S written on it.

Fuck Shiya, take it.

So I take it, I let myself be swept away, into a wonder land where he drives me absolutely insane with his moves and his charcoal eyes.

We stand a few feet away from my brother and Tani, knowing that if he sees then he will surely throw a few punches here and there at Atharva. I had a feeling that this would be super awkward, but of course, I didn't know what was kept in the store for me.

Atharva pulled me towards him as my breasts brushed against his hard chest, while he grabbed my waist, his hands holding me strongly as he started swinging along with the beats of the song. My hands make their way around his neck as I smile, noticing how good he is.

Then the song changes, and he starts running his right hand over my left arm, going up and up while leaning closer to my face, his eyes bouncing between my face and my painted lips. And suddenly I find it hard to breathe.

"You drive me absolutely insane, my jaan."

He withdraws my hand from his neck and then I'm turned around, pushed at an arm's length then pulled back as my naked back collides with his smooth leather jacket. His hands start running from my arms to my hands then to the front, my lower abdomen. His hand stays there as I stop breathing, while I feel my heart being lit on fire by the innocent butterflies.

"Breathe snowdrop."

I inhale, exhale, and then moan lowly as soon as I feel his lips behind my ear. His lips barely touch me, but still, it does wonders to my heart and the heat growing inside me.

My eyes flatter as I lean more into him, taking the sensual heat he is offering me. His hand on my abdomen guides me to move side to side as his lips continue to barely touch me, to tease me enough.

For a second my eyes open and close again, then snap open in shock. Staring in shock at the figure in front of me, standing a few feet away, fading in and out with the dancing crowd.

I stand straighter, my body stops moving. I can feel the ice being thrown to my burning heart, as it drops into the pit of despair I had been slowly coming out.

I stare at his face, waiting for him to make a move. "Kim Dalhyun." His name escapes from my lips.

"What?" I hear Atharva ask.

Then he makes the move, he takes a step forward. I take a step back, colliding with Atharva's hard body. He takes another, I turn around, sidestep Atharva, and start walking away. I don't know where I am going, as I push my way through the crowd.

I know I pass by my brother and Tani, but I don't stop. I need to get away from here. I need to get away from him. I can't let myself fall into the pit again.

I keep walking till I enter a dark corridor, I lean against the cold wall, trying to breathe. I hit my chest with my fist, telling my lungs to breathe, for fucks sake.

Breathe you fool! Breathe!

Agitation runs through my veins, as I push my open palm towards the wall, feeling the pain spread through my skin, I do it once again, feeling the pain hit me in double strength.

By the time I do it for the third time, I am stopped. I stare at the fingers wrapped around my wrist, knowing it's his.

I pull back, my feet taking a step back as I refuse to look at his face, I stare at his shiny boots, while trying to breathe again. I can't feel my heartbeat, just ice running down my veins.

Breathe!

"Shiya!" I feel a pair of hands grip my shoulder, I try to push 'em back. No no! He can't touch me, I don't deserve it!

"Snowdrop, look at me!" And I look up, I know that nickname, I know that voice. It's soothing but panicked, it's fire yet the ice.

"You're okay, my dear, come on try to breathe. You know how to breathe, inhale... exhale." I look at him through my blurry vision, making out his wide charcoal eyes. "That's it, good girl. Just like that breathe."

I continue following his instructions, his voice as I start feeling myself again, I start feeling my heartbeat. "Now tell me five things you can see."

I glance around, "shoes, hair, dress, heels, you." I say while looking around, at Siddharth, at Tanishka but I do not make the mistake of looking at him.

No, I won't.

I lean forward a bit, to take support as I feel someone coming in the middle and holding me instead, I look up to find my brother looking down at me with concern. "What is he doing here," I ask with as much courage as I can gather.

"I—" he stumbles making my eyebrow furrow in confusion. I take a step back, glancing at my brother, Tanishka then finally at Dalhyun. Noticing the look of worry and anger present in his eyes.

His beautiful grey eyes, that had me lost in them at one time. That sharp straight nose which grows red when he is cold. His straight hair that once used to fall on his forehead is now styled up neatly. Those lips only make me remember the time he ravished me all night long.

He loved me like no one else and I hate that.

How did he know I was here?

"Bhaiya, how did he know we were here?" I ask with a hard tone, as I take in his guilt-stricken face. Fuck, my life.

I take a step back, snatching my hands harshly as I look at Tanishka, to see a guilt ridden on her face.

Running my fingers through my hair, I turn around. Angry at myself, angry at my brother and my best friend.

"Shiya," I hear his voice, calling me out softly, his voice wrapping a cocoon around me, and I don't know whether it's the safe one or not. But I know that I'm not ready to see his face yet.

I didn't deserve to be in his presence again, he would be destroyed, broken and I would loose myself all over again.

"Tell this man to go," I keep my voice hard, I can't let him allow me to break him all over again.

It's better to pretend to feign hatred, to let him believe I hate him than to let him loose himself as I have.

"No! I need to talk to—" Dalhyun's tries to speak but I hold up my hand, signaling him to stop talking.

"Tell this man to go," I repeat but nobody says anything or moves from their place. "Fine, I'll go." I start moving when I feel my arm being grabbed, I glance at my brother.

"Why are you behaving like this? You claimed that you loved him, then why are you behaving like this?" He asked, glancing between Dalhyun and I.

"You no longer have any right to question me, brother." His eyebrow furrow, knowing that I only call him brother when I'm angry with him. Well, I'm fuming right now.

"Why? What's going on? Shouldn't you be happy that you're seeing the guy you love?" He questioned again.

How does he expect me to jump into Dalhyun's arms after everything that has happened. After everything I did, after everything I lost.

I take a deep breath, squaring myself shoulders and looking him in the eye. "Tell me brother, how did he know that we were here?" He remains silent, his eyes bouncing between me and Dalhyun who is standing behind me. "Tell me, how did he know my address to send me flowers on my birthday?"

He gulps not knowing how to answer as I release a bitter laugh, remembering how I had my anxiety creep into me when I found those flowers and I have absolutely no idea how I am to talk or even stand right now.

How I can stop myself from looking at him, or crying and hugging him tightly is beyond me. Telling my Dalhyun that I love him.

No, I can't let this happen to me again.

"Am I pawn in your game? Moving me around as you wish? I have a list of everything you did to me but never once I complained. You took away my freedom, my wish to fall in love and smile, I did not say anything. And now? You just want to hand it back to me, just like that."

I snap my fingers in front of him, "I am not your pawn! Stop using me! And this time, for good, leave me alone."

The images of him laughing when he and his friends throwing dirty water at me flashed in front of me. The image of him dragging me towards my parents to tell my them that I committed a mistake of falling in love. The image how he took me to his reunion to show off how successful his sister had become.

I did not understand how was I ever able to love him, how was I able to look at him like a true brother.

I glanced at Tanishka, "you knew about this didn't you?" She glances down at the floor, all the alcohol she had been gulping thrown off from her. Not believing how she wildly she had changed.

The girl who preferred staying home and reading something in her pyjamas, is now dressed in short dresses and getting herself as drunk as she could possibly do.

I scoff, "pathetic, I guess it's boys before babes now. Congratulations! You two deserve the fuck out of each other."

I had no filter on my mouth. And I was loving it.

Turning towards Atharva, I stare at him for few seconds, trying to read if he was a part of this. "Take me home." I order him. I do not trust myself to be alone right now. I have brain who is melting and a heart that is frozen.

Atharva glances at my brother, who I feel nods. He starts walking as I follow him.

I want him to call me, I want Dalhyun to wrap his arms around me and tell me he won't let me go now.

But he doesn't and I don't stop.

GOT NOTHING TO BE GRATEFUL ABOUT RIGHT NOW