"Hey, So I've this amazing plan in my mind. Mind hearing it?" I asked as I propped myself on her bed. While she continued studying as she sat on her study table.

"Go on, I'm listening." She stated without even looking up from her book.

"How about," I start speaking, "we go to Korea during Christmas Vacations."

She immediately ditched her book and turned towards me. Her eyes beaming with excitement and her lips pulled in a grin. "Now I'm definitely listening."

I laughed, "I was thinking that... since our vacations start from 12th December then for the first eight days we can stay in Mumbai With our families then we can fly to Korea on 20th December and fly back here on 2nd."

"That sounds like a good plan. Is this in some reference to your boyfriend's birthday?" She wriggled her eyebrows as my face fell. She immediately noticed it and stood up then strode towards me.

Sitting in front of me she questioned, "Shiya... what're you not telling me?"

I gulped nervously, "I—I—we never cleared it out what we are. And I did so on purpose, because if we did then he would want to be in a committed relationship and I can't do that. That would mean breaking my mother's promise."

"Are you insane!" She shouted at me. "Are you actually fucking insane! Do you realise that you're fucking playing with someone's fucking feelings?"

I gulped, "Look Tani... I—"

"No! I don't want to hear a single thing from you!" She shouted again at me as I winced, "I didn't expect such a thing from you Shiya Saathvik. I—you know what? Just get out! I want to be alone at this moment."

I bit my lip as I stood up then walked away. "Oh and wish your parents a happy anniversary from my side." She sneered. Glancing once last time at her I closed the door behind me.

Oh, how wrong the things have gone.

I felt my knees give up as I took support of the side table right beside her door. I hadn't told Tanishka about certain things between Dalhyun and I, which I knew I should. Like how I'm playing with everyone's feelings around me, including my own.

I hadn't told her about the increase in the number of panic attacks I had in just a matter of month. And right now, I felt like everything was rotating around me. Somehow, taking supports I made my way towards the kitchen as I grabbed a glass and jug to pour myself some water.

My hand shook vigorously as the water fell on the slab. The jug, slipped from my grip as I gripped the edge of the slab while trying to steady myself.

Oh lord, Tani please don't come out. Please don't come out.

I slid down on the floor, my shoulders shaking vigorously as I felt her words echoing in my ears. My mother's cries and the sadness in her voice and with the hope evident in her voice when she made me promise.

The insults thrown by my classmates, my brother. Dalhyun's sweet words and actions flashing before my eyes. I covered my ears with my palms while closing my eyes tightly.

I wanted to scream so badly, but I couldn't let Tani know. I wanted to cry so badly but I need to video call my parents and they can't see my puffy eyes or hear the weakness in my voice. None of them deserved such a troublesome soul like me.

Music! I need to listen to music right now!

Scrambling on my feet, I stumbled forward then steadied myself with the help of the couch as I moved forward towards my room. But when I saw my painting room, I pushed the door open and stumbled inside.

Glancing at the empty canvas kept on the stand, my eyes move around the room filled with Dalhyun's portraits. I tried my level best not to cry looking at his face. As I saw my Bose headphones lying on the floor by the stand. I stumbled forward, I sat on the floor and grabbed it with shaky hands as I put it on.

Removing my phone from my pocket, I tried to find Spotify as my headphones paired with my phone. As soon as Spotify loaded I just pressed the button play as a song I was previously playing started to play.

I laid down on the floor as I closed my eyes while the song continued to play. I didn't know which song was playing, but I knew it that it was reaching my brain as my body started to relax. My hands stopped shaking as the urge to scream and cry died down.

I didn't know till when I laid there, like a dead person without moving an inch of my body but I knew that my body has now relaxed and i'm Ready to stand up. But what will I do standing up?

I've nothing.

Finally I decided stand up when I felt my hand gone numb. I started shaking it vigorously to make the sensation go away as I eyes fell upon the empty canvas.

With determination I stood up and grabbed my pencil as I started drawing random lines over the canvas. Soon I had the charcoal in my hand as I started moving it across the sheet.

I was almost done with my drawing as my phone started to ring. Startled by the noise, the charcoal fell down as I took my phone in my hand to find an incoming video call. I inhale deeply as I pulled on a smile and answer it, "happy anniversary mom dad!" I exclaimed.

"Oh! She answered! Jaanu (honey) She answered! Come here! Fast!" My mother said as I giggled softly. "Hi honey! Oh my, what's on your face?"

I glanced at myself on the screen as I charcoal marks all over my face. "Oh this... I was sketching."

"But don't you have your exams coming up? Shouldn't you be studying?" She questioned.

I sighed, "I know... I just... I was taking a small break." I lied. Great! Now I lie to my own mother.

"Oh come on Yanvi!" My father joined as he wrapped his arm around my mom's shoulder, "give her a break. Our daughter is a hard working young woman. Shiya, I'm so proud of you."

Guilt, that's all I could I feel right now.

I forced a smile as my mother chimed, "of course I'm proud of her. She is my daughter after all."

Okay here we go again.

My dad scoffed. "Achha? This is nice. Whenever she does something good she is your daughter and whenever she messes up she is my daughter. Very nice." While they continued arguing I immediately ringed up Siddy to join the video call so that I can escape this discussion.

"Is that so? Then what about Siddharth?" My mother questioned as at the same time Siddharth joined the call.

"What? What about me? What did I do? Shiya! What lies did you feed mom and dad?"

I scoffed, "it's not always me who feeds the lies."

"Oh honey, I was just saying that Shiya is my daughter and not this old man's." She tsked at my father who gasped dramatically. They all continued to argue as my eyes fell on the new sketch I just made.

My eyes widened when I realised what I just made. There was a man's side face sculpted in a moon coloured with black charcoal with branches coming out of him, whereas there was a female's face leaning towards the male's lips as her curly hair flew out.

I just drew star crossed lovers.

+++

Not drawn by me.
But I'll be sketching it soon
Hopefully on a canvas.

Yes I'm an artist ;)
🎨