"So yeah, we play this song on full volume whenever I and dad would go on long drives, especially during midnights. It used to be so fun!" I said as I continued walking towards the door.

I was talking with Dalhyun about my and dad's favourite song, Desert Rose by Sting when it started playing on my speaker. Then the bell rang indicating that our food is here.

Like finally!

I opened the door to the delivery guy impatiently waiting while looking down, "Good evening," I greeted as he finally looked up and his jaw dropped. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as his eyes roamed over my figure while I shifted on my toes.

"Hi," he greets sounding a bit breathless as I cringed inwardly.

"My order please?" I asked as I raised an eyebrow.

"Oh yeah, shit yeah," he dig in his bag as he took out my order. While he was handing it to me he asked, "so you live alone?"

Before I could reply I heard Dalhyun's voice, "babe! Who is it?"

I smirked as I realised what he is doing, "no I don't," I smiled sweetly, "thank you for delivering though. Good night," I slammed the door in his face. Walking back into the living I did a high five with Dalhyun.

I knew that he couldn't come out here but he definitely had an alternative solution to help me out with creepy guys like him. And I couldn't be happier.

I carried our parcels into the kitchen as I took them out and served them in a bowl then heat them in the microwave even though it was still hot. I just liked heating the takeouts.

I tell Alexa to stop as Dalhyun makes his way towards me while I ask, "do you wanna watch some movie?"

"Sure, you have got a movie in your mind?" He asked as I started to think, do I have a movie in my mind?

I've always been bad at choosing movies, because I always pick out something my parents don't like, like high school romance and stuff. So I think I'll let Dalhyun choose a movie.

"Nope, I'm really bad at picking movies. Can you choose one?" I asked as he nodded, "my MacBook is in my room," nodding he walked away as I took the takeouts from the microwave and served them on a serving tray along with coke for him and sprite for me.

"What's the password?" I heard him ask.

"0153195," I answered back. Taking the tray in my hands, I made my way towards my room as I saw Dalhyun sitting on my bed with his eyes glued to the screen of my MacBook.

I keep the tray on my nightstand as I take my place on the bed and look over which movie is he choosing, "cute wallpaper by the way," he commented.

"Thanks," My MacBook's wallpaper was a photo of my family when we went to a beach once. "So which movie are you choosing?"

"Call me by your name? Have you seen that movie?" I shook my head, I knew the movie but I hadn't seen it.

"But haven't you seen that movie?"

"I don't mind," he answered as he shifted back and lenses against my stack of pillows while I pulled my comforter to our waist. "It's my favourite, so I don't mind watching it again. What's your favourite genre?"

"Comedy and romance," I replied as I settled the laptop between us.

"So we don't have a problem, since this is a romance movie." I chuckled as I handed him the bowl of dumplings.

Soon the movie started with the lights switched off and the dumplings being stuffed in our mouths. But unfortunately, we had to pause the movie when I started hiccuping, I realised that it had green chillies in it. Dalhyun immediately rushed to get me water as my tears ran down my cheeks like a waterfall.

A fucking waterfall!

As soon as he returned I gulped the water down my throat as I started to relax a bit. With a sigh, I relaxed against the pillows as Dalhyun wipes my tears and kisses my hair, "your face is red," he said as I laughed.

"We can continue now," I said as I took my bowl of fried rice and Manchurian, separating all the green chillies from the rice and only eating the balls and not the gravy since I didn't find it much spicy. I kept sniffing making Dalhyun look at me with worry but I assured it that it was just the aftermath of eating spicy stuff.

As the movie continued we were done with our dinner, and I kept it empty bawls on the night table then kept my head on his shoulder as he draped his arm over my shoulder and made small circles while I smiled secretly.

I bit my lip as I glanced at him through my lashes to find him looking around with nervousness, "um, I'll take the couch then," he said as I pouted                   

I bit my lip as I glanced at him through my lashes to find him looking around with nervousness, "um, I'll take the couch then," he said as I pouted.

Spending the night doesn't mean that he will sleep on the couch. Away from me...

But I knew that I can't say anything about this, both of us know that sleeping in the same bed isn't something we should do so soon. "Um... yeah, okay," I nodded my head.

Walking towards my wardrobe I took some blankets and pillows as I turned around to find Dalhyun staring at my messy wardrobe.

I giggled as I closed it and then handed it over to him. He walked out of my door as I leaned against the door frame while biting the pad of my thumb as I observed him.

Dalhyun patiently kept the pillow on the end of the couch as he lay down with his legs comfortably stretched out on the big couch, I thought if he didn't fit in the couch then I would've got an excuse.

"Good night Shiya," he smiled at me as I smiled back weakly and turned off the lights in the living room.

"Good night Kim Dalhyun," I mumbled as I walked back into my room, I laid down with a sigh feeling guilty for making him sleep on the couch. I pulled the comforter to my chest and then turned off the lights in my room except for my night lamp by the study table.

I turned over my side to face Tata, as I pulled him closer and hugged him to my chest—trying to get over my guilt. But like always it wasn't working so I tried to think of something else.

Like when he asked about the keychain around my neck. We were in the middle of watching the movie and I had leaned against his chest while he played with my necklace. I knew he was going ask if it held any significance so I braced myself with an answer.

When he did, I told him the truth. I paused the movie as I fisted my hand around him and told him that it held the key to my diary. I told him when he had become my celebrity crush—that something was different about these feelings so to reassure myself I wrote many reasons why I shouldn't be crushing on him.

He didn't say anything, and I knew why he didn't. Because he knows that I don't want to date right now—not that I can't date right now. He knew that my thinking is different So is my feelings, so here we were acting like couples when we never cleared what exactly are we.

And I didn't clear it out on purpose because that way—technically—I'm not breaking my mother's promise.

I groaned as I turned again, I shouldn't think about this. I shouldn't, it'll only get me depressed.

Throwing the covers off me I climbed down from the bed as my feet softly padded against the cold marble. Walking into the living room, I sighed as I stood in front of the couch and then sat down on my heels.

The dim light coming from the kitchen shined on his face, as his eyes remained closed and his lips slightly parted. I smiled as I lightly brush his hair away from his eyes. And stare at him for a little while longer than with an exhale I stood up. "Stop staring Shiya, I bet you look like a creep," I mumbled to myself.

Suddenly my wrist was grabbed as I turned around with gasp only to feel a hand over the back of my knee and my Lower back. I yelped as he pulled me to his chest while I wrapped my arms around his neck, "you're awake?" I exclaimed in shock.

I heard him chuckle, "yes, and no I don't think that you look like a creep." I felt my cheeks heat up in embarrassment as I snuggled my face into his chest. I felt vibrations pass through me from him as he continued laughing while walking.

He walked into my room as he laid me down on my bed then lifting the covers he climbed in too. I awkwardly scooted away to give him space in my queen-sized bed. Pulling the comforter to my neck I stared at the ceiling while biting my lip.

I felt Dalhyun shift a bit as I turned my head a bit, to find him staring at me. I immediately turn around and close mine tightly in embarrassment. I swear I have got the worst timings.

"I know that you aren't able to sleep," he whispered, "even I can't. And laying like this will only make it difficult."

Opening my eyes I turned on my side to face him, with our noses only a few centimetres away as we stared into each other eyes, "then what do you suggest we do?" I whispered back.

He scooted over as he kissed my forehead and ran his fingers through my hair. Surprised by his actions I could only, close my eyes while his other hand wrapped around my shoulders. I snuggled my face into his neck and wrapped my arm around his waist, inhaling deeply in contentment with the warmness radiating from him.

"Good night Dalhyun, sweet dreams my winter bear," I whispered as I felt my eyes get heavy. He whispered something back, but I was already way too deep to comprehend it.

My Shiya

+++

So, I feel like I'm writing all this to some non-existent person.
I mean I've been tryna do everything to get some readers, but it just... doesn't work. This is honestly, my third account try.
No matter how much I try to be positive, it just creeps inside me and whispers, 'you're not good enough,'
And lemme tell you, nobody should feel like that. Nobody deserves those motherfucking words.

I got people around me like I'm a social butterfly, everyone knows me but then, nobody is supportive enough to support my books, well ofc, leaving my one true best friend.
I smile every day, tryna be positive, saying to myself, "you will get there. Just believe in yourself and write."

And, I'm not saying all of this, to gain sympathy or tryna get u to pity me so I get readers.
But again, I'm writing this to some non-existent person.
Right?