"Gosh, you've made so much stuff. I don't miss your mom anymore." Tani said as she continued staring at the dishes in front of her.

I chuckled as I answered, "I'm my mother's daughter after all."

She flashed a grin as she took a bite of pasta, "gosh this is amazing as always," everyone agreed with her while Dew, Jae and Dalhyun praised her a bit more I blushed, and I mumbled a thank you as I sat beside Tani and started eating.

I kept urging everyone to take more when Tani suddenly stuffed a spoon of Rissotto in my mouth, "continue, while I'll feed you like a baby." Everyone laughed as I smiled at her then took the spoon and took a bite while showing her. She patted my head proudly as I giggled and side-hugged her.

"Okay, this probably won't be a perfect time or the perfect question but I need to let it out," Hailey started rambling as I lifted my glass filled with the spirit to my lips, "have you ever played strip poker?" The Sprite flew out of my mouth as I started coughing while Tani patted my back.

"Oh my goodness!" Rebeca exclaimed while I took the glass of water from Tani, "why you're bringing your experience with your boyfriend here!" The water flew out of my mouth as I coughed more while I heard more coughing around me.

What the actual fuck!

"Have you both lost your minds!" Tani scolded them, "you've made Shi—Dawn choke twice, twice!" They both looked down in guilt as they mumbled a sorry.

"It's fine, I'm fine," I reassured them, "and to answer your question Tani and I have."

"Even I have," Ethan butted in as I remember the day we three had played strip poker. Dalhyun stared at me wide-eyed as I averted mine. I know it seems weird that you've played strip poker with a boy who isn't your boyfriend, but it doesn't matter when you trust him and when he, is gay.

Besides Tani and I didn't flash him anything, he chickened out. Actually, we pretended that we're gonna flash knowing that he would chicken out, we're some smart girls, you know.

"Yeah, we three had played together," Tani added while nodding.

"All three of you saw each other..." Hailey trailed off with wide eyes.

I shook my head, "only Ethan was the completely naked one. And we didn't have any interest to stare at his thing." I saw all three of the X7 members shift uncomfortably in their chairs as I bite my lower lip from laughing.

"Hey! You weren't completely naked but still—"

"Oh puh-lease!" Tani showed him her palm, "you chickened out before we could."

"Can we Please change the topic?" Rebeca pleaded as we all gazed at her. Nodding to her plea, we silently ate our dinner with the awkward silence hanging in the air.

"Thank you so much for coming," I whispered softly while smiling at him, "it was really nice having you over.

"It was a pleasure for me too," he smiled, "I really hope that Tani likes the gifts. Let me know what she thinks, afterwards," I nodded as I glanced at her, who was goofing around with Ethan, Jae and Dew.

Hailey and Rebeca were long gone since they have some lectures tomorrow morning. And now, Jae, Dew and Dalhyun were going while Ethan had decided to stay the night here.

"So what's the next destination you're taking me to?" He asked as I frowned.

"I don't think it'll be possible for me." I said looking down at my feet, "we have got a very important Indian festival approaching so I've to arrange everything for that. Send some gifts to my family and friends in India. Also, I haven't really gotten any time to study recently so I'll also be focusing on that."

"It's no problem. If you're taking a break, let me know. We can do something fun together." I smiled in a way to show my gratitude as I kissed his cheeks then stepped away. He stared at me wide-eyed as I titled my head and flashed my cutest smile.

"We shall get going now," Dew said as we both turned towards him, "thank you so much for having us over. Good night." Tani and I bowed a bit in respect as all of us waved at each other.

Dalhyun glanced at me for one last time, as I continued staring at them till they disappeared from our sight. Sighing I walked back into our house and propped myself on the couch while closing my eyes.

I just feel so tired.

"You like Dalhyun," I heard Ethan as my eye snapped open in shock while I mouthed, 'what?'

"You genuinely like Kim Dalhyun. Not like a celebrity crush but you genuinely have feelings for him."

"What bullshit are you saying," I grunted, "that's not fucking true. I don't like Kim Dalhyun." I said while averting my eyes, knowing that I can't say the same sentence looking into his eyes.

He scoffed, "you can't even say that without looking me in the eye. Who are you fooling Shiya? You can fool the world but not your best friends."

I sighed as I glanced at Tani was sitting on the other side of the couch while pursing her lips. "Even if I like him, what kind of big deal is it? My feelings don't matter here. I can't be with him. Besides, I'm pretty sure that he doesn't like me in that way."

"Seriously?" Tani scoffed this time, "you don't remember what I said a week ago? It's not difficult to fall in love with you. You've everything a boy would want. You're smart, kind, cute, badass, hot, beautiful and whatnot!"

"She is right," Ethan chirped in, "when I first met you, I was pretty sure that I should go straight for you, especially because of your killer smile. I seriously have no words to describe your smile man! It's like a combination of every type of smile."

I giggled as Tani agreed with him. "You remember watching the video where Moon talks about his first crush." I nodded at Ethan's statement wondering where he is going, "you remember what he said in the end?"

"If you truly like someone, tell them how you feel, even if it scares you 'cause they might feel the same and you'll never find out. I did, and I had many opportunities. So don't be afraid to tell them how you feel. You don't want to live wondering right?"

How can I ever forget this? This is one of the closest things to me—that Dalhyun has ever said.

When I first saw that video, I was 17–just turned seventeen and wondered if I could ever get the opportunity to tell him that I love him. But then again, I'm just one of the million people who love Dalhyun, there is nothing new for my wish to confess.

It was one of the million little things I took to my heart.

"I hope now, you know what to do," a whimper escaped through my throat at Ethan's statement as I looked up at the ceiling, trying to keep my tears at the bay.

"Aw, Shiya," I felt two pairs of arms around me as they hugged me tightly.

Cry escaped from me as I said, "I'm so sorry for ruining your birthday, Tanishka."

I hate myself so much. I repeat it to myself remembering it's one of the million things I take to my heart.

I hate myself so much.

+++

Yeah I'm an emotional person like our dearest Shiya

First me to myself:

Then again: