08. Answer
A Mazed Heart (Rifa Fathma)
08. Answer
"What do you think it can be?" She asked and swirled her head to her right.
Haadi leaned against the tree in their school play ground. His head was tossed up as he stared at the sky above, a disturbing flicker in those black orbs. His eyebrows were sewed together as his mind was all wired up in search for answers.
Answers. If there was someone who could give the answer to her big brother's question with ease, then it was Haadi.
She had been holding onto the thin line of hope that Haadi would have the answer to her brother's question. But judging by the silence that radiated off of him, her heart dropped to her knees.
Didn't he always carry around answers to basically everything? Whether he sat in the class or at his home or whether she and Aahil walk up to him with questions, Haadi had always been quick in answering right away. As if they all were so naive for not able to answer such an obvious question.
As if the answer was at the tip of his tongue.
How come he ran out of answers this one time when she was in a desperate need of one? She bit her lower lip helplessly.
She turned her head to her left where Aahil was slouching on the bench. His school bag was recklessly placed on his laps, his crossed arms over it, as he leaned forward, exhaustion taking over his features. He rested his chin over his hands. "I think, it's Santa Claus!"
"Santa Claus?" She straightened up. Why didn't she think about it before? The faint flicker of hope in her heart picked up speed. A mysterious man who sneaks up at night, slips Christmas gifts for children and disappears. A perfect lie popping straight out of some fairytale.
"How ridiculous!" Haadi wondered out loud with an edge to his tone, irritation taking over his otherwise stone-cold face. "Don't expect her brother to be a knuckle-head like you." He tore his gaze away from the sky as he flopped back his head and gave a side-glance to Aahil. "Look at it through the eyes of a fifteen year old."
Aahil drew his eyebrows together, his jaw slowly clenched as he straightened in his seat. "Sorry to disappoint your highness but I can't possibly think like a fifteen year old. I don't have the brains of a fif-"
"Knock it off, you two!" She raised her hands out impatiently with a frown. Could they ever engage in a civil conversation?
Aahil shut his mouth at once and glared at Haadi who didn't even spare a glance at him. But she was sure he had rolled all his witty comebacks up his sleeves over whatever Aahil would tell him. She narrowed her eyes at her cousins who held their tongue back grimly. If only. If only she hadn't cut them off, a neverending banter would have been on the loose.
She sighed. "Please don't start you two. We need to come up with an answer as soon as possible. Yahoo would never open his mouth until I feed him up with a proper answer. I beg you to not fight atleast now."
She felt a sudden urge to sit somewhere as pain shooted up her knees. She made her way around the bench where Aahil was sitting on and slumped beside him. "Besides, I don't think it was lame." She opened her right palm in the air, picturing it as one of the weighing pans. "A Santa Claus." She raised the other weighing pan - her other palm - in the air. "The biggest lie someone can ever come up with."
"That is what I said. It does not make sense. At all." Haadi fully turned towards them. He leaned his shoulder against the tree, his hands and legs crossed. An unsettling feeling tensed his eyes. "This has got something to do with the universe and beyond. It is something grave. Something that...holds power, but a lie whatsoever." He stared at Darakhshan as he said but she knew he was not looking at her.
He was staring into a distance. A thoughtful expression had taken over his features as he tried to connect the dots. "Something that has got the entire world under its grasp; that has managed to even influence and convince the mankind. But- since it is a lie, it has to be the weakest statement altogether. But everyone thinks it is the truth. And they cherish it; hold it close to their heart. Like their life depends on it. That is the biggest lie we are after."
She sat in her seat frozen, unable to breathe. Her lips parted in amazement. To say she was baffled would be an underestimate. Even if she had to wreck her brain, she could have never been able to come not even close to what he just kept forward.
He thinks like a genius, like her big brother. No wonder why he was the star of Dawn Academy, an every teacher's favourite.
There was no doubt why he had the admiring gazes of most of the school population following him like shadows. She was one among them after all.
And there was no doubt why the other half of the school population hates and loathes him for being the apple of an eye; feeling insecure around his presence, eyeing him with pure envy and secretly wishing to be in his shoes.
"Did you ask your mother?"
She looked up at Haadi who was staring back at her. She pursed her lips, sadness taking over her. "I did. She was as confused as me."
When she had asked her mother, she had taken a moment to think through the question. She had narrowed her eyes as she pondered over while she flapped and turned the parotha in the pan. Then, she shook her head, utterly confused, and had said she had no idea what it could be.
She then smiled and wondered out loud about how her son always comes up with such questions.
"And your Aghu Jaan?" Aahil rested his head over his hands on his bag and stared at her.
"You already know I'm not in talking terms with her." She eyed him pointedly.
Aghu Jaan!
This name no longer brings about excitement and pure happiness like before. And she doubted she will ever muster squeals of joy just at the mere sight of her.
She doubted both of them to ever go back to their usual ways of exchanging magical stories, warm hugs, surprises and gifts, smiles and giggles.
It seemed like her Aghu Jaan suddenly started hating her from the roots of her grey hair to the core of her heart. She stopped looking into her eyes and ignored her presence like she was an irritating fly.
But deep down, she had been sure her Aghu Jaan would pull her into an affectionate hug before she left for her home.
Deep down, she had been hoping her grandmother to wipe away all the resentment between them before she took her leave.
But she didn't so much as glance back at her. It shattered her heart into many shards. It pained her to see a glimpse of her father in her Aghu Jaan.
It was so easy for her Aghu Jaan to break the tie that knotted both of them together. As if she had never mattered to her. As if she could care less about her existence.
She had hid herself in her room for many days as she soaked her pillows with her tears and abandoned her sobs under her blanket.
As her summer break came to an end, the hurt and pain also began to faint away and the urge to know the reason behind her grandmother's outburst burnt her insides. She had pushed herself up from the pillow and pulled off her blanket as she came to realise that she shouldn't be crying.
Instead she should be out there searching for the answer so that she could blow off the uneasiness. So that she could satiate or curiosity. So that she could make sense of Aghu Jaan's sudden shift in behaviour.
The first thing she did after pulling herself out of the crying mess was browsing it up on Google. But the dear old search engine had wierd answers all over its websites. Ten minutes into the Chrome and her head already started spinning like a ceiling fan. There were so many answers in there that she couldn't able to decide which one was more graver.
Sighing to herself and signing off from the robotic app that it was, she walked out of her room.
She didn't dare go to her father. His scornful face would have been enough to scurry her away. Plus, the mere sight of her father reminded her of Aghu Jaan which was the last thing she wanted.
So, she asked her mother. She asked Haima, Aahil and Haadi's home-maid. She asked the school infirmary nurse, the one who took care of her wound the other day. She asked her English teacher, who was as sweet as candy but as knowledgeable as someone could be.
But to her dismay, everyone either gave her answers that did nothing to satisfy her, or shook their head - more confused than she was - and expressed their oblivion.
When all the people slowly ruled out of her check box, one name stood out, whom she was yet to ask. A flicker of hope popped up in her heart and began flickering right beside her heartbeat.
She had been finding chances to ask Haadi but he was nowhere to be seen in the past two days. Whenever she skidded into Uncle Kabir's home, she would be told that he was currently out somewhere. It put a damper to her spirit and dimmed the last ray of hope after every single visit.
But this morning, when she saw him sauntering into the class ten minutes late, her heart pounded against her chest in happiness. She could finally get the answer. If only she had known that even he would hit a dead end...
Darakhshan suddenly snapped her head up, confused. Seeing her, Aahil jolted up and look over where she was staring.
Haadi had started walking away, sliding his hands into his pants pocket.
"Hey, where do you think you are going?" Aahil called out. "The bus hasn't come yet."
"I know." He half-turned his head towards them. His demeanor had changed. He looked more determined and sured about something. "And that is why. We need to be quick before it arrives."
Unsure and clueless, they both stood up and ran up to where he was waiting for them. "But what are we going to do, Haadi?" She asked, her heart pounding. With curiosity or with fear, she couldn't decipher.
****
Aahil didn't look pleased by the idea of staying back at school for a while longer. Moreover, it was the fact that they were being led by Haadi that burnt his insides. He didn't like following his lead like a tail. Not even a bit. He had his glaring eyes glued to the back of Haadi, sending him to hell millionth of times inside his mind.
They left the play ground and headed to the third block which belonged to the seniors, which belonged to Yahoo and brother Kamil.
They walked along many halls and turned many corners. All the classes were empty, the fans turned off. Everyone had either gone home or in the play ground waiting for their ride.
Or some of the students, who were aiming to join the army as they grow up, must be on the 4th floor, practising. Her big brother must be sweating under the intense practice that he must be put through by the sergeants right now.
Yes, the sergeants from the army of Aurora squeezes time out of their schedules, taking shifts among themselves, as they travel all the way down to the City of Dawn to train the students of Dawn Academy who are interested to join hands with them in the army later on in their lives.
"Haadi, I will be dead if Baba gets to know that I didn't arrive back home by bus." Small drops of sweat started forming on her forehead. She mentally shuddered at the thought of her father's fiery face. She and Aahil ran after Haadi who was quick in his steps, walking far ahead of them. "Haadi-"
"You, refusing to walk out of your comfort zone, will never lead you anywhere."
She fell into silence, a small pout coursing through her face. But who will get their plans across in front of Baba without getting away unscathed?
Her father is very particular when it comes down to her putting a foot out of the home. He always gets second thoughts in letting her roam freely along the streets of Dawn as the city is believed to be unsafe. Especially, For children.
But her big brother doesn't give a damn to their dad's uncountable restrictions. He makes sure to do what he puts his mind into. She sometimes wishes she could have the courage of her brother. Or even more so, she wishes her Baba to be as cool as uncle Kabir who doesn't bother in keeping his doors always open for Haadi and Aahil to walk out.
They made a turn and came into another hall. She gazed around, eyebrows furrowed. This hallway includes only library and staff rooms. Why are they here?
"Why are we here? The staff must also be tying up." Aahil voiced out her concern, confused. "...and as far as I know, we can't possibly enter into the library after school hours."
Haadi paid no heed to him and continued walking. He halted in front of the library, turned back and waited until they caught up to him. He slowly pushed the door open.
Right in front of them was a long counter behind which the librarian sat. Her hands were furiously typing away something on the keyboard when they stepped in.
Darakhshan tried to catch her breath as soon as she entered the library and eyed the stiff demeanor of the librarian. She had no idea how Haadi would deal with this lady in front of them.
The librarian stopped typing at the creak sound and looked down to find three minions in front of her. Her brows dipped at once, puzzled. She fixed her specs in between her eyes and gave them a pointed look. "What business do you lots have over here? Don't you know it's home time right now?"
Darakhshan and Aahil anxiously eyed Haadi. Her heart thumping against her chest. It was all his plan. He dragged them here and she hoped he couldn't have done so without a solid plan in hand.
Haadi had to crane his neck up because of his short height. He stared right into the eyes of the librarian. "Father wants a book from here. He said it is important and he needs it by tonight. I hope you won't bother to let me go search for the book."
The librarian blinked once, letting the words seep into her mind. When she finally understood to whom he was referring to, her face turned pale, caught off-guard at the sudden mention of city's Mayor. "Oh, your father! Right." She fixed her specs and cleared her throat. "Right, you can come in."
They were about to take a step when she spoke up again, catching their breaths. "Wait, who are you? Where do you think you two are going?"
All three of them halted in their steps. The librarian narrowed her eyes at both of them. Darakhshan and Aahil stared at each other, eyes wide open, nerves standing out at the ends.
"They are with me. I wanted them to come help me search the book."
The librarian flicked her gaze back at Haadi and pursed her lips. "Can you tell me which book your father is searching for? Let me help you find it."
"I can't."
"Sorry?" Her eyebrows sewed together.
"I said I can't tell you the name of the book. He told me to keep mum about it.
Was I not clear when I said it's important to Father?"
See? He always has answers ready at the back of his head. He answers in a beat, in the blink of an eye. She had never seen him clueless and unresponsive. The words always roll out of his tongue like a slice. He is always aware of what to say under what situation.
The librarian, on the other hand, pulled her head back in shock at his sudden rudeness. She gave him a once-over, trying to read him. She couldn't figure out if the kid before her gave her the truth or blatantly lied on her face.
His face was blank like a closed door, hiding away his inner thoughts. But it was the city's Mayor that they were talking about. She sighed. "It's 1:30 now." She pointed a thumb behind them. "I'm closing this door at 2:30. You have one whole hour in your hands. I won't hang about waiting for you even for a second."
A sigh of relief left her lips as they all nodded in unison and rushed inside.
This was the first time she had ever put her foot into the school library. She swirled her head around, her eyes big in amazement as she took in the details. Large windows surrounded the room, brown curtains were fastened before each one of them. The light glow of sunlight managed to peek into the large room through the curtains and fell on the bookshelves.
She craned her head at the towering bookshelves as they slowly walked through the aisles. Colourful books of all sort, thick and thin, large and small were stacked up into the shelves. The warm, comforting smell of the freshly printed pages wafted through the air.
The library was split into many sections based on the subjects and genres. They stopped at the Science section and went separate ways to search for the answers. She eyed the plethora of bookshelves that surrounded her, ready to crumble her faint hope. Her stomach churned uncomfortably just by the mere sight of all these books. They may have to stay here longer than the permitted time. Or even more so, they will most probably have to go back home bare hands.
It was after a few minutes that Aahil shut the book he was holding. He turned his head at Haadi who was busy in glancing down a book. Aahil gritted his teeth, his nose flaring as he snapped. "This is so stupid. How do you possibly look up for answers among all these piles of books?"
Haadi, whose black orbs moved across the page he was currently looking at, raised his head and stared straight ahead at the bookshelf. "Why am I not even least bit surprised?" He wondered to himself with a sigh, like he was inhaling air of patience before he turned around to face Aahil who was burning to ashes. He pushed the book towards him and sharply pointed at the page. "You take a look at the index and don't dip through the entire book," he muttered, breaking down each word. "That is unless you are an idiot or a total fool to do so."
Aahil kept his eyes on the page in front of him, blood gushed all the way up to his neck. He slowly pulled his head away from the book, unable to hide his embarassment.
Minutes ticked by as they kept on pulling the books out, skimming through the index, and putting them back into their places.
She could tell by the way Aahil's brows were sewed together, his jaw clicking, that he was holding his tongue back from flaring up. He definitely didn't want to open his mouth only to eat insults in return.
But it was Haadi who gave up first as he shut a book loudly. He looked around at the library, at rows and rows of shelves standing one after another, and at their heights that were towering way above their head.
He finally sighed and slumped into the nearby armchair.
Aahil fully turned towards Haadi, staring in disbelief at how coolly he brushed off everything and sat down. It took him only few seconds to let his tongue on the loose once again. "What happened now? The high and mighty Haadi Emaami is admitting defeat so easily?" He snarled and looked around them, his face shimmering in anger. "Told you, this is stupid. You can't dig up anything from all these thick heaps of books."
Haadi placed his hands on his knees, intertwined his fingers together, and chose to ignore Aahil, as he thought out their next plan.
Aahil tightened his fist at the calm sight of him, overly irked by his unaffected cousin. "How are we going back home?" He rose his voice. "The bus must have left the school premises by now."
A shaky sigh left her own lips as she eyed her cousins. She was always forced to pick up sides when she was stuck between them. Right now, she sided with Aahil. She was already tired. She just wanted to jump into her cozy bed back home, push all of these aside and let sleep come and devour her for a couple of hours straight. Plus, her insides were churning at the thought of her father coming to know that she wasn't home yet.
"Get a hold of yourself." Haadi muttered, slightly irritated at Aahil's infuriating behaviour. "I know the way back home."
"You don't get it, do you? Uncle Yashayah would kill Darakhshan if he comes to know we are not home yet. My stomach is grumbling in hunger and-"
"As if you will get anything to eat at home."
Silence hung in the air. Aahil couldn't utter a single word. His eyes were wide open. In shock, then in disbelief. As if he didn't expect him to say that out loud in front of Darakhshan. As if he muttered something unlawful, forbidden. As if he let their secret out in the open, pulling it off from under its wraps.
Her gaze skidded to both of them, clueless to what Haadi meant by that. But she sensed it was something vulnerable, sensitive to both of them. She could literally sniff the tension in the air.
Aahil rubbed a hand against his nape, his shoulders slouched slightly in exhaustion, as he made his way around the reading desk and lowered himself beside Haadi.
Haadi didn't let the stone cold mask slip away from his face. He had his elbows on his knees with his intertwined fingers together as he eyed straight ahead, as if calculating something in his mind.
All of a sudden, his eyes flew open, realisation dawning upon him. He untangled his hands and stood up slowly as he stared straight ahead.
Darakhshan looked over to where he was looking at. Before their eyes stood a shelf full of books. Through the small gaps between the books, they could clearly see the other shelves before them.
But what caught her attention was the wall at the far end of the library. It was used as one of the bookshelves and many books were stacked up in rows. A wooden slat hung from the ceiling on which was written in a brown color, Islam.
When Haadi dashed towards the wall, Darakhshan and Aahil eyed each other with uncertainty but followed him behind.
"Haadi?" She whispered near him, eyeing all the thick, dark colored books that surrounded them. She was very well familiar with these kinds of books. "What makes you think that we will get the answer from this section?"
"I don't know. But I'm sure we will get to the answer somewhere over here." Haadi said, his voice distant. He quickly started taking thick books out of the stacks.
Aahil sighed, looking daggers at the black spikes of Haadi's head at the back. Shaking his head, he got back to the work as well.
It was after sometime that Darakhshan let out a long sigh. They were wasting their time for real. It was she who needed answers.
But it seems like Haadi had taken up this entire thing more like a challenge to himself than actually finding out the answer. He was just not the type to take extra miles for someone else. There was just no way he was hell-bent on helping her out.
Or maybe.
This question had managed to seep into his brain and ignited its curious cells. He won't rest until he gets his hands onto the answer and satiates his quest.
But she was not Haadi. The answer could go to hell for all she cared. She just needed to get herself out of this school premises as soon as possible. All these thick books inside these spiralling bookshelves were giving her a migraine.
Just when she decided to tell them off that she gave up on the answer and they should be going home, Haadi spoke up, triumphant, his voice laced in suppressed excitement. "Got it!"
They rushed over to him. He had the book wide open in his hands. He pointed a finger at the very first line in the index. All three of them stared down with batted breath and read out the sentence.
****
I just l o v e cliffhangers! How about you?
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