Author's Note:

The scenes which are unfolding below need not be in a sequential order. These scenes reveal the past of the four characters.

Remember, Yahya is the eldest of them all. So, don't misunderstand.

Again, these scenes only show the past of four characters and they need not happen in sequence. I hope, I'm clear.

~Happy reading!
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July 1, 2022.

A Mazed Heart (Rifa Fathma)

Episode 02: Past

"You will be staying in this room. Let me know if you want any change of plans in our allotments."

Yahya, who was examining the room with his big innocent blue eyes, turned his head and looked up at his father. He gave a single nod. "This is fine, Dad. I will stay here."

His father put on a curt smile, ruffled his hair and exited.

He moved into the room, now taking in every detail of his room.

The bed was put in the centre of the room. Beside the bed, stood the dressing table. His wardrobe was on the right end next to the restroom.

His mind began to compare this room with his prior room back in The City of Gardens.

That was how he had been comparing everything. From houses to markets, restaurants to parks, climate to people dealings. He had concluded that The City of Gardens was a place of peace, serenity and hope while The City of Dawn was... Well, he hadn't yet come up with a proper description of his new place.

He perched on the bed slowly and traced his finger on the flower patterns of the bedsheet. Everything seemed bizarre. But deep down, he was eager to live here and get to know about the place and its people.

He thought back to the encounter with other families who lived with them but they had a house of their own linked with Yahya's. So far, they were nice and generous relatives of his father and they attended to them very friendly.

His father had declared the other day, "We are moving to your mother's native for your vacation."

He had stared up at his father until the words seeped into his mind. He had given a slight shake of his head in understanding.

"Your aunt lives there. And there will be so many other people living with us. You will love being there." His father had clapped his shoulders firmly in assurance before making his way.

The rustling sound coming from out of his balcony made him come back to reality. He stood and went towards his balcony. He realised he was too small to peek out. He lifted his feet and stood on his toes.

His eyes widened as he clasped his hands on the handrail to maintain his balance. There was a mini forest.

Another thing he noted was that The City of Gardens had numerous parks and gardens while The City of Dawn contained trees. Large, hovering trees made shadows everywhere beneath them.

He again heard the rustling sound. He twirled his head across the mini forest. His eyes halted at a tree and his hands clasped more firmly at the handrail.

Up above the tree, a man had perched comfortably on a wide and strong branch. The tree was the tallest among all. He had an elbow placed on his knee. He held something in his hands. Yahya tried to remember where he had seen it.

He pursed his lips, still with his wide eyes. He had studied in his pre-school. He clamped his eyes shut. What was it called? He never saw anyone carrying that thing back in The City of Gardens.

He opened his eyes and stared at the thing in the man's hand. Was it Forchery?

He can only make out the man's hair. He had slanting brown hair and some of the strands smooched his skin making him more attractive.

And then, it happened so fast. Yahya was there, scrutinizing his hair and then, he didn't know what that man did but three sticks... no, those are called as... Sparrows? Whatever the things were, Yahya watched them piercing down through the air.

Yahya's eyes never left the sticks or sparrows as they drifted diagonally from where the man was sitting up above the tree. They descended down and down until... All the three sticks accurately - and Yahya noticed - right at the centre of a board.

He sensed that the man felt content after what he had done as he passed the Dow and Sparrow casually from one palm to the other. He then looked down, made a jump so swiftly and crouched on the ground with a hand on his knee and the other grasping the Dow and Sparrow.

Yahya had a small smile on his hanging mouth. And he bounced on his toes... Amazed.

He didn't know who the man was or what he was doing in their mini forest. But the man had succeeded in having Yahya's interest. The only thing - or person - he had got curious over at The City of Dawn.

****

He sat on the steps of their garden. Amid the birds chirping from the trees and the wind hurling past him, Aahil felt lonesome.

After glaring at the grass with zero concentration, he slid his hand into his pants' pocket and pulled out a photo. He stared at it as a painful smile curved his lips and he traced his fingers across it.

Two people were posing at the camera. One, he called his mother and the other, his father.

His mother had straight black hair and black eyes contrasting with her milky skin. His father had brown slanting hair and some of the strands kissed his skin making him attractive.

His mother smiled widely at the camera and her eyes held all the happiness the world could muster, the happiness he always craved for. His father had an arm curled across his mother's waist. He had the warmest smile Aahil had ever seen in anyone. His eyes spoke volumes of warmth. The kind of warmth he needed.

He always kept this photo with him no matter where he went.

His thought went back to this morning when the parents of his classmates sneered at him and made fun of his parents.

"Your parents were nothing but cowards."

"I heard that his father was not sacrificed in the field. He was shot dead by the commander for trying to run away from the army."

"Really? That's awful. The last thing we need is to have people like Haarim Emaami joining the army."

"Huh, cowards. Committed suicide just because she couldn't deal with the betrayal and loss of her husband and hate of the people."

"The City of Dawn doesn't deserve such kind of cowards."

He closed his eyes as a lone tear escaped from his eye. It was too much to take in.

He felt like his heart was squeezed tightly making him breathless. Deep down, he blamed his parents. He blamed his father for not fighting hard.

Some people believed that his father tried to run away and so he was shot dead by the commander himself. But others believed that he got himself sacrificed in the field. He - and his relatives - believed in the latter.

He blamed his father for sacrificing his life and not thinking once about his son. He blamed his mother for committing suicide and not caring about him. He blamed them for leaving him alone in this wretched world. He blamed them for everything.

Because of them, no one loved him. He was tired of the people's eyes which stared at him speaking volumes of disgrace and hate. Had anyone ever spoken to him without any judgemental look?

"Hey, what are you doing?"

He wiped his eyes hastily when he noticed Darakhshan, his cousin, settling down beside him on the steps of their garden. She stretched the back of her frock and rested her palms beneath her knees. She wore a red coloured headband. Short clips of brown hair concealed her forehead and temples.

"They are your parents, aren't they?" She smiled warmly at the photo when her gaze fell on what he was holding.

"I wish they were alive." She turned her eyes towards Aahil and her lips carved downwards but the warm smile never left. "Big Brother Yahoo adores them, you know."

His eyes went wide. "Really?"

"Yep!" She gave a single nod and pursed her lips. "Whenever he mumbles about them, his voice holds dignity towards them."

"I wonder..." He saw her looking up at the sky. "...how would it have been if they were alive?"

Aahil felt his ears turning hot. He hastily slid the photo back into his pants pocket. He never liked speaking about his parents.

He sensed her intense gaze on her. "They were good people, Aahil. The words of praise I often hear from Yahoo are enough to make me believe they really were good people."

Aahil couldn't help but scoff. "Brother Yahya is the one who praises them. Have you ever seen my uncle or your dad defending my parents' deed?"

Her brows sewed in disbelief. "Yahoo doesn't like Uncle Kabir. Don't know why but he thinks he is a bit... Screwed."

"Yeah right, screwed! He is a Mayor for a reason." He laughed.

"You... You doubt your parents' innocence."

He sensed a lace of disbelieving in her voice. But the next moment, he saw her hand striding towards his and she gave a gentle press.

"I don't know what it's like to always listen to the insults of one's parents." She was saying, each word carefully. "I would never know how you feel. It must be sickening."

He tore his gaze from their hands to her eyes. She was saying that she couldn't understand the pain he was suffering from yet he truly felt that someone understood him. Someone saw through his pain, at last.

She let out a gasp.

"Oh, my aunt brought me Blocks from The City of Gardens. Do you want to come and play with me?" She was already on her feet.

She pulled him up and he let her drag him towards her home which was linked with the house he called home, where he lived with his uncle, Kabir Emaami.

He just wanted a good day, a good play and a good laugh with someone who had decided to accept him by looking past his insecurities.

****

The wind passed through his outfit as he put his hands on the trunk of the tree and peeked around.

It had become his norm to come every cool evening to their mini forest which Yahya now called Forchery.

Today, Haarim was sitting at a branch of the tree but the board's placement had changed. Yahya noticed three different boards hung at three different trunks of the trees.

Another waft of cool breeze passed through him and a pang of excitement ran through him.

Yahya's father had introduced him to his mother's sister's husband, Haarim Emaami the other day. Which made Haarim his uncle.

Yahya's grasp tightened on the trunk which he was using as a cover. He gazed up at his uncle without batting his eyes afraid that he would miss the thrill.

Haarim held three sparrows in his hand. He began adjusting them in the string of the dow.

Yahya's eyes widened a little. Today was different. He could feel it.

What happened next, happened within three seconds.

Haarim aimed the dow at the board which hung straight from him. He pulled the string and left a sparrow.

One second.

Yahya didn't leave his eyes off Haarim's hands for Haarim didn't wait to see if he had hit the target. Before the sparrow made any thud sound at the board, Haarim turned his hand towards the tree situated a few metres away from the first tree and aimed his dow at the board which hung there.

And he left the second sparrow.

Two seconds.

He again didn't wait to see if he had hit the target and pointed his dow towards his left side and left the third sparrow.

Three seconds.

Yahya's eyes went so big that the entire world could be seen in his dark blue eyes as he heard the thud of the three sparrows hitting the targets one after another without a gap in time.

"So, when are you deciding to come out of your hiding?"

Yahya, who was gazing at the sparrows which had been accurately struck at the last of the circles in the boards, pulled back his head in astonishment.

He twirled his head and saw Haarim leaping down to crouch on the ground. He then extended a hand and fanned his fingers gesturing Yahya to come towards him.

Yahya slowly walked toward his uncle, never taking his eyes off of him and stopped inches away from him.

Haarim smiled as he continued to stare at him. "You like this, don't you?" He pointed his head towards the Dow and Sparrow.

"Can you teach me... Forchery?" Asked Yahya boldly unaware that he had just misspelt. He didn't note that Haarim's eyes sparkled for a moment.

"Sure," said Haarim and rose to his feet. "First let's learn how to position yourself."

Position myself. The fact that he should learn to position himself gave him a unique kind of thrill.

When Yahya grabbed the dow in his hand, he stumbled. He gaped at the dow, astonished. Then looked up at Haarim. "This dow is heavy."

Haarim widened his eyes for a second before ducking his head and laughing a light laugh. He looked down at Yahya. "You surely have a long way before learning archery."

Yahya stared up at Haarim, still with his innocent blue eyes. Then he took a step back as his eyes widened propelling Haarim to chuckle again.

Haarim seized the dow from his hand and stated warmly. "This is a bow." He then pointed at the sparrow which was struck near to them. "And what do you call them?"

Yahya looked at the sparrows. Could he tell him? Could they be sparrows? Sparrows too fly in the air, so why couldn't they be called the same? "Sparrows?" He turned his head towards Haarim and found his eyes glinting.

"All right, then..."

Yahya sensed the amusement in Haarim's voice and he knew then that not every flying thing could be called a sparrow.

"What do you name that?" Haarim pointed towards the board and stopped. "Wait, let me make a guess!" He looked up at the sky with his lips still curved up. "Hmm, a chart board?"

Yahya pursed his lips and the corners of his big eyes sagged as he looked at Haarim with a slight accusation to hide his embarrassment.

Haarim's smile dropped. "Okay, sorry!" He dragged the first word as he sagged his shoulders. He patted his cheeks and explained. "That is an arrow and that's a dart board."

"Okay." Yahya nodded his head.

"I will buy you a bow suitable for your size, all right?"

"Okay." Yahya smiled up at Haarim.

Haarim ruffled his brown hair and granted him a tender smile.

He was looking forward to learning archery and playing it as cool as his uncle.

His uncle had fancied him in many ways. He never got bored watching Haarim play archery. Every time he saw him play, he got intrigued. He didn't know that he had already begun to look up to his uncle.

****

She opened her eyes slowly. It took a moment to have a clear vision. She gazed around. She was in a room, warm and dark as the blinds were drawn. The bed wasn't smooth. She raised a hand to her cheek which was swollen and she felt bleeding hot. She thought back to this morning when she got that bruise.

One minute she was crossing the road, saw Meerub standing at the gate of their school ushering her to make it fast and the other minute, she felt a heavy motorbike pushing her knees from behind, propelling her to fall face-first to the floor with a huge force. All she felt was pain as she passed out.

"Oh, dear! You finally woke up."

Darakhshan didn't realise someone's presence before. She looked around to find a girl wearing a white uniform which Darakhshan recognised as the dress the doctors usually wear.

She gripped the blanket. What could a doctor be doing in her school?

"Here, take this." The girl extended a bulgy cloth with a warm smile.

She grabbed the cloth. A chill ran down her arm as her eyes slightly widened at the chillness of the cloth. It was cubes of ice. Not able to hold it for longer, Darakhshan looked up at the girl.

The girl chuckled at her and took the cloth from her hand. Darakhshan closed her palm into a fist to slip off the coldness. But the coldness was transferred from her palm to her cheek but it was a satisfying coldness this time.

She stared at the girl whose eyes were soft. Just like the smile she wore. She slowly pressed the cloth against her cheek.

Darakhshan gazed sideways. She was finding herself relieved around this girl.

"Uh, what are you doing here..." Darakhshan trailed off hoping that the girl would understand.

The girl retrieved her hand and smiled her warm smile.

"The school has offered me an internship."

Internship? What is it? But she decided not to ask.

"You don't need to worry about the wound. It's healing fast. I have injected you."

"My father," said Darakhshan hastily. She then dropped her gaze, unable to know what to say further. "He shouldn't have to know about this. He will... Scold me for being..."

"That's not that bad to see, you know." The girl patted her unwounded cheek, assuring. "It doesn't look like how you are feeling. Your father will not know."

But that wasn't enough. She didn't forget what Aahil had said the other day. "Everything comes with a price. Nothing is free in this world."

This means, that even being treated was not for free. But how could she pay without her father knowing?

Darakhshan scratched her unwounded cheek and glanced sideways. "I... How can I pay... I mean..." She looked at the girl, suddenly startled but she found the girl still smiling her warm smile.

The girl gently squeezed her hand. "You don't need to pay. I love helping the needy."

"I'm not..." Darakhshan widened her eyes. "My father can pay..."

The girl stood up "Your father shouldn't know, remember?" She strolled towards the door.

But Darakhshan wasn't done talking. "But how can I pay you then?" Everything comes with a price after all.

The girl turned around and for the first time, Darakhshan saw something other than the warm smile. The girl asked, disbelieving, "I never asked you to, dear. Who told you that you should pay?"

"My friend. He says everything comes with a price and nothing is free in this world... And I know he can't be wrong." She whispered the last words to herself but it seemed that the girl caught them.

Her expression changed into a soft one as she sagged her shoulders. "But I'm afraid your friend is wrong. He hasn't seen the good part of the world yet." She smiled slowly and turned back. "There are some people who just love being selfless."

And Darakhshan didn't know why but she felt that the girl was speaking about herself.

She grabbed the doorknob, ready to open it. She half-turned her head and mumbled. "And besides, I love children." And she strolled out.

Darakhshan sat behind with an elongated sigh. She felt content.
The kind of content she only received after spending time with her big brother, Yahoo. She wished to meet her again. Or perhaps, be like her. A selfless loving being.

****

As soon as the sound of the ringing of the bell spread across the class, everyone scurried out of the class intentionally pushing one other to be the first to get out of the class.

Haadi remained seated in his seat. When everyone left, he untangled his fingers, took off his elbows from the desk and rose to his feet before slinging his bag to his shoulder.

He strolled out of the class ignoring Darakhshan and Aahil who seemed to be waiting for him outside the class, Darakhshan looking rather flushed and Aahil with an irritated look.

He strolled ahead of them with his head bent down and with a hand in his pant pocket and the other hand holding the strap of his bag which ran over his shoulder.

After walking for a while, he halted, looked up, and gazed around the background which was usually empty. He located a bench under the shadow of the tree which stood behind it. He headed his way towards the bench.

He slumped on the bench, kept his bag over his thigh and stared at it.

He had been upset with his parents for a long time now. They never gave him enough time. He wanted them to love him and smile at him warmly. He wanted them to play with him and lull him to sleep. But he never saw them in their house. They were always preoccupied with their works.

Even in school, no one dared to speak to him. And he knew the reason.

He clutched his bag tightly. It was because his father was a big man, a Mayor and his mother was a famous designer in the city.

Besides...

He put out his lower lip as he side-glanced at the floor. he himself was in question. He had always been an introvert. He believed it was because his parents must have never cared to educate him on how to speak and how to let his emotions out.

"...yes and I'm just waiting for our results to come."

He turned his head to his right to see three boys from his classmates making their way towards the bench next to him.

"They have promised me, my parents." Haadi saw the boy waving a hand casually. "I will be taken out to
The City of Love if I get passed, that is."

The City of Love!

Haadi lowered his head and stared at the floor. He had heard a lot about the city and its beauty. It was very expensive even to take a breath there and it was far away from The City of Dawn. They said that once a man steps into The City of Love, he becomes a lover. A lover of that city. He had always wished to visit there and explore the city.

"...and they have promised to get me a jigsaw puzzle."

Haadi looked around at the boy as his eyebrows drew together. He could easily notice the tinge of arrogance the boy carried out in his tone.

A pang of envy ran through his spine. That was supposed to be his favourite thing. But, did his father have time to stop by and ask whether he wanted something?

"Lucky you." The other boy, who had on a solemn look, spoke up. "Well... Though my parents don't make promises like that. But they make time for me no matter how busy they are. They say that there is no problem even if I fail and that I always, always have opportunities to prove myself."

He stared up at the sky and saw the clouds slowly making their way. He tried to think back to the day when their parents made time to spend with him. They were too busy even to check his result. He wondered, did they even know that his son topped in every exam?

"I'm lucky to have them, you know." The boy said looking at his friends with a pleasing smile. "They never allowed people to bad-mouth me. Even if they do, they always come up with something to shut them up."

The third boy looked at his friends speaking of his parents. Haadi watched him dropping his gaze at the floor and he felt a little overjoyed to think that he was facing the same fate.

The boy scratched his foot slowly against the ground. "My parents..." He looked up at his friends. "They are the coolest ones I have ever seen in my life. They work hard to..." He scratched his neck. "Survive, you know."

Haadi scrutinized his gaze at him. His uniform was neat and ironed. His shoes were shining under the blazing sun. He held his lunch box which could have recently bought.

"They never made me feel low about myself and for the way we are finding it difficult to survive. Well, not me but my parents are."

Haadi stared at the boy intently. He was different, unlike his classmates. He spoke different, unlike others. Being underprivileged might have shaped him into a boy like this.

"But they never make it seem real to me. They act like we are living the life others have. They never say no to me. And despite all that work they do, at the end of the day, we spend time with each other and share what happened throughout the day. They made me realise the beauty of love over wealth."

The air around him thickened and he felt suffocated. Haadi had everything but his parents. He had wealth but love? What is love? And what's the use of wealth when one doesn't even know how to love and cherish the wealth one possesses?

He hastily started unzipping his bag. He had had enough for today. He couldn't take anything of that anymore.

"You ask him."

He was taking out his lunch box when he heard someone whisper near him. He moved his orbs up and found Darakhshan and Aahil, their cousins as well as classmates.

He saw Aahil's eyes widened for a second when he realised they had caught Haadi's attention. Aahil gazed back at Darakhshan who was hiding behind him and shook his head as he muttered something to her.

Darakhshan peeked around at Haadi and gazed back at Aahil before making a pleading face.

"Speak up or leave." Haadi stared at them coldly. He saw Darakhshan widening her eyes. Aahil gave a slight shrug and stepped aside leaving Darakhshan to handle it.

Darakhshan looked flushed as she abruptly dropped her gaze to the floor. She wore a headband and short clips of brown hair covered her forehead.

"We saw you..." She scratched her flushed cheek. "All by yourself and we thought we might accompany you... If you don't mind."

He looked at Aahil who just rolled his eyes irritatedly.

Had they been following him?

He silently moved aside making space for them to sit. He heard Darakhshan whispering something happily to Aahil as they slumped beside him.

He let out a buried sigh.

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