Chapter 19: History

A wiser girl than I wouldn't have provoked Lord Waryn.

But then, a wiser girl than I wouldn't be stuck where I was.

We rose when Lord Aspertin arrived. Like last time, he wore a simple gold mask embedded with the stag sigil and a few beryls and rubies.

We sat after each of us was greeted by him. There was no place set for Lady Golia or her son and a part of me, the part that wasn't done being foolish, wished to ask after her.

As dishes were served, each complimented by its own wine, I spoke little and listened much. Aspertin drilled Waryn with questions about his family, about Lord Dolev Eloroan, ruler of the prosperous state of Lamoni. They spoke matters of the noble houses of the north. I learnt that Eloroan was due, in the next year, to surpass even the Somaer in wealth—not that it mattered and that Lord Dolev was seen as even more shrewd and merciless than any Eloroan lord had before him. Something in the way Lord Waryn spoke about his father made me feel they weren't on the best of terms. I could imagine why. Lord Dolev had lost in a feud that had put Waryn in Tvereman custody. By the looks of it, he hadn't enjoyed that experience much.

"I'm actually surprised to see you here, Leah," Afali said when the main course was taken away. "Where's Lord Yoav Kiri?"

So, Lady Leah was married to Lord Yoav, heir to the Kiri, the leading branch of the Usi family.

Lady Leah leaned back in her chair, pressing her lips together. "I'm more surprised you're only asking now."

"I needed a bit more wine in my blood to cool down."

Leah and Waryn both laughed, almost as if we were among friends.

"I was hoping to see Yoav again, after all these years."

"Well," said Leah, raising her glass to her lips. "He's not here." Her gaze met briefly with Lady Nava's before she pointedly looked away.

"I noticed you're not wearing a bear mask," Afali continued.

"Nor did I allow my name to be changed," replied Leah. "I won't let my father push me out of being an Acavia. It should have all been mine."

At that, Afali's jaw tightened, and even Lord Aspertin looked sternly. "We will not forgive, Leah," he said. "You are always welcome in this house."

"Thank you, uncle," Leah said stiffly. "It means more than you can imagine."

When the meal was finally over, I learned nothing of what I needed to learn, but, when I looked again at Lady Nava, a plan began to form.

***

"What was that?" Afali demanded, when we were finally alone. The meal had extended well into the evening and while she had laughed and smiled and talked to all her guests, Afali looked as exhausted as I felt when it was over. We weren't yet at her room, or mine and she was clutching my shoulders with the servants staring. She was close to me, so close I could feel the heat rising from her face.

"Well, they attempted first to humiliate me, and then to humiliate you—"

"Attempted? They humiliated me. And you...you let them mock you."

"With all due respect, Afali." I kept my voice as level as I could. "It's your decision whether to feel humiliated or not. You can only be embarrassed if you allow yourself the vulnerability of fearing how you're seen."

I saw Afali's arm rise, and clenched my teeth tightly just as the hard slap landed across my face. My eyes watered, and I stumbled sideways before regaining my balance.

"I've just about had it with you," she spat. "You lying, manipulative little shrew. I should've known you're not to be trusted the moment you played Lady Golia—"

"You mean, when I got beaten in defence of you, Afali?"

"Why didn't you tell me Lord Waryn despises you?"

"Would you have?"

She wasn't listening. She was waving her arms in the air. "What in the gods' names did you do to him to make him act that way now, after all that time?"

I took a step back. I was losing any semblance of control. I needed to tell Afali something, anything, to keep her satisfied for the next few hours, at least until tomorrow evening when my plan would begin to come together. "I..."

"What did you do?" she repeated, moving in, grasping my neck but stopping short of squeezing.

"I don't remember!" I cried out shrilly, shoving her away from me. "I barely remember a thing from when Waryn stayed with us. I was seven, I think? Or six? I don't remember how old I was. How long he was with us or anything at all. I just remember he was there...I remember being displeased about him, that's all."

It was the most plausible tale I could tell. When I looked back at my own childhood, I only remembered large events. But even the deaths of my three infant brothers mingled together into one confused memory. I remembered emotions, and little thought patterns that resonated with my older self. My clearest memories were stories told to me by other people.

Afali wasn't appeased, but nor was she trying to murder me. Her mouth twisted into an ugly frown. Was she trying to remember things from when she was that age? She was about to speak, but I spoke first.

"If you still wish to marry him, I'm going to try—"

"You'll only make things worse," she said, quietly, her shoulders slumping.

I grabbed Afali by the elbow, and began leading her towards her room. "No, Afali, this is for the best," I whispered in her ear. "He's vindictive, that means he's reckless. We can use that."

The whole way to her room, I proceeded to tell her how we would twist Waryn Eloaran's old childhood pain to her benefit.

By the time Afali bade me good-night, she was almost smiling.

***

I found Lady Nava where I knew she would be, that was the easy part.

Lord Aspertin's library was a two storied hall filled with floor to ceiling book cases. The most books I had seen in one place had been the book merchant's cart during the spring fair. I became friendly with the merchant's son, a boy with dimples in his cheeks and warm hands. He showed me the back of their wagon, where I disappointed him by having more interest in the tones stacked in orderly rows along the wagon walls, and not in consummating any type of physical passion.

I stood frozen on the round emerald carpet at the entrance of the library for nearly a minute, almost forgetting my purpose there. The thought that so many books had been written, that so many things could be said, was humbling. What did they all contain? Perhaps something about mask-making, or the secrets of serum, or maybe, somewhere, I would be able to find a book that could teach me how to survive.

There were all the possibilities here, sleeping soundly in dry paper and dark ink.

I silently moved among the towering cases. There was a sibilate in the air, I imagined it was the sound of the dust settling after I passed.

I located Nava on the second floor. She was curled on a rug with a pile of books at her side. She didn't see me, I made sure of it. I entered the next row and leaned against a book case. I could see her through the shelf, over the tops of the books. Any noise I made would be heard by her. This was the spot.

I silently retraced my steps to the top of the stairs. I stood there for a moment, concentrating. I had never summoned tears from nothing before, but there was so much to cry about, I only had to remind myself of the sadness and fear. My vision was blurred as a broke into a run, heading straight towards my chosen spot.

I braced myself against the bookcase as I pushed out a sob, the gasping kind, that Nava would hear. I coughed out air, my sobs shuddering and shivering. They were not quite loud, not quite silent. In my ears, it sounded like the kind of intense weeping that could not be hidden, despite one's efforts to.

I pretended not to hear the soft tread that came a moment later.

"Lady Dylana?" Nava had a low voice for a woman, I was certain it was due to her height.

My tear-streaked face snapped up to look at her in surprise. I shook my head from side to side, took a step back and began to flee.

"Wait," she said, but I didn't listen to her right away. "Wait, you don't have to be afraid."

She caught me by the stairs. "I know you're not the monster Waryn says you are."

I shook off her hand. "What do you know?"

"More than you think."

I paused to look at Nava. Today she wore the most beautiful mask. Two gold tigers entwined in play, neither had the upper hand, though it was obvious that neither wished to. Their stripes were a carefully cut chocolate opal, and their bodies fitted perfectly to form a mask. Each tiger had what looked like yellow garnets for its eyes and the piece was complete with the jagged outline studded with small diamonds of West Genalia.

It was a dynamic piece, filled with movement, and so utterly distracting I stopped crying.

I began to move down the stairs. "Don't assume you know anything about me."

"I don't," she said. "That's why I'll listen."

I paused. A part of me wondered if this woman truly had an innocent heart.

She wouldn't, if she was travelling with people like Leah and Waryn, she would be as manipulative as I myself was. "Do you actually think I would fall for that?"

Nava frowned, crossing her arms over her chest. "I don't serve Waryn, and certainly not Leah. If you think that somehow talking to me would—"

"I'm not a fool. You saw him yesterday, do you think I don't know that anything I say will be used against me?"

Nava rolled her eyes. "Fine, don't say anything. But you don't have to leave."

I pretended to hesitate.

"Do you like books?" she asked. "Is that why you come here?"

"Father didn't approve of us reading," I said slowly, looking at my toes. "But I do like to read." I hoped that lie did not cost me my whole game. I had not read enough books in my life to be able to hold a scholarly discussion. "What...what're you reading?" I asked, making myself sound bashful.

"History," Nava said. "Does that interest you?"

***

"...The ghost-maidens came from the north during the twelfth night of the seventh moon," I read out loud to Nava. "In the morning we found every man and woman lifeless. I, Lady Manadira Yer of the Musteli, aged twelve autumns, am the last of my house. I awoke to the sound of screaming in the night. I have seen them descend upon the servants and the lords, dealing all they met an equal measure. Their faces hold no malice, or joy. They did not meet my eye or respond when I tried to speak with them. In Wokev, our beautiful city, the bodies of all my people rot in the summer sun. Naught but children survived. I must beg for your aid..."

"Lady Manadira's letters are a historical treasure," Nava said, eyes sparkling. "She became the king's consort, you know? All of the rebuilding of Vynam after the spectre descent is documented from her letters. The less known letters are her love-letters with king Portiev."

"But wasn't she the one who killed him?"

"He was married to Queen Eta Somaer, but she shared him willingly with Manadira. Manadira was so poetic in her letters to Eta that one can't know the true extend of their relationship. But when they both found out that he took another woman into his bed, they decided to end him. My favourite Manadira letter was the one she wrote to Portiev just before killing him..."

"She sounds like a woman after my own heart."

"And mine," Nava said with a sigh.

"I wonder what the spectres are," I said, forgetting myself for a moment. "Nowhere in nature does anything have our shape. How do they appear, and then disappear? Where do they go to? Do they even see us?"

Nava stretched her long legs, putting aside her book and looking to the ceiling. There was a bulge in her throat the likes of which I only ever witnessed in men "Maybe they don't actually look like us. Maybe it's just us who see them that way."

"Hm." I never thought of it like that. "Then why maidens in the pinnacle of their youth?"

Nava had no answer, and I had asked enough questions. It would be noon soon, and I judged I had lulled her enough into a sense of companionship.

I had enjoyed it. I observed enough of Nava to know that she was intelligent. She saw small details, just as I did. Physically, I found her puzzling. I had heard of women who were equal, in strength and physique, to a man. Perhaps Lady Nava was such a woman.

"Why do you travel with Lady Leah and Lord Waryn?" I asked. The Masquerade was to begin in a number of weeks and would be held in Delen, home of the Somaer—Nava's home. The hosts of the Masquerade did not traditionally partake in the pre-Masquerade tour, in which lords and ladies would 'collect' the eligible youth of the nobility on their journey to the Masquerade.

"Waryn pledged to be my protector. I must go where he goes."

I entwined my fingers together. Lady Nava's honesty was alarming. I felt like I was missing something. A protector was a self nominated position, it meant that Lady Nava had been sentenced to death, and that Lord Waryn had ransomed his own life to protect her.

Nava laughed at whatever expression I had on my face. She offered no explanation as to why she, a lady of the richest family in Vynam, had been sentenced to death. "Now, as for Leah, she follows me wherever I go because she's..."

She looked away, crimson flooding her cheeks. "Because she's an idiot."

AUTHOR'S NOTE: 

Hi all! love to hear  your thoughts. In particular, I struggled to phrase how the pre-Masquerade tour works. And what can you guess about Nava?

Oh look, I've become all baby elephant for this. Nanananana! You can't catch me!

❤️
Einaty