We're always questioning things, whether it be what to get for lunch or how to hide the bloody corpse of your enemy after shooting them in a vital organ.

What?

But yes, indeed, we as people are always brimming with curiosities. However, today I will be specifically diving into the question of sexuality.

Questioning your sexuality.

It's a time period that many undergo growing up, especially during their agonizing adolescent stage. To those of you that are questioning right now, you're probably being bombarded with mismatched puzzle pieces and unfulfilled questions.

Questioning is a wishy-washy and complicated process that tries to gauge what's going on in the noggin.

And I'm glad I'm done with it.

Let's get really personal here:

I've questioned.

My entire life since I discovered that crushes were a thing, I've questioned. The concept of a crush was so foreign to me when I registered its definition, so odd and peculiar. I tried to understand it simply because all of the other kids would relish in the drama and fire that it would bring.

Eventually, I came to associate an admiration for someone you want to be friends with as a crush because of how much I didn't understand it. I only spoke of crushes and acted like I had them simply because, well, everyone else had them. Honestly though, I was just one of the countless stupid kids out there who just wanted to not feel like the lone wolf anymore, and it didn't help that my childhood lacked and was deprived of a lot of social interaction.

Being thrown into high school and suddenly being flooded with all forms of social interaction was like suddenly unleashing a nuclear bomb on my personality.

I was exposed to so many events at once that it was insane.

I've mentioned this before, but during this chaotic time period, I joined a Gay Straight Alliance organization because at the time I was curious, craving for more social interaction, and still questioning. After enrolling in the club, I was able to educate myself on the different types of sexualities and gender identities out there.

It was at that point in time that I decided: I must be aromantic asexual.

For another year or two, I was confident that I was aromantic asexual. What else explained my lack of comprehension toward lust and crushes? Was it not strange that I, at the age of sixteen/seventeen, still didn't relate to what romantic and sexual attraction felt like?

All the lies I've ever conducted about having a crush on this person or that crumbled around me, alongside my need to question my sexuality anymore once I heard the words 'asexual' and 'aromantic'.

I was so confident that I would never marry, let alone date anyone, due to my sexuality and I was perfectly okay with that. I would joke about having a wedding with myself. I thought I was immune to romantic heartbreaks while my peers who struggled with unrequited love were always going to be less fortunate.

I was so confident.

Too confident.

Maybe I wasn't completely wrong with my rushed conclusion, but I wasn't completely right either.

Over the course of my high school career, I met someone. I knew him for three years, but it wasn't until my senior year did I grow closer to him. I didn't feel anything for him until we began blossoming into best friends.

We began dating during the spring of my senior year.

I never thought I'd actually date anyone. And by doing so, I was once again submerged into deep waters.

I had to question my sexuality. For the second time.

It wasn't as difficult to question during round two.

I know I'm still asexual. To this day, I still can't see someone as hot or sexually attractive. I still don't understand all the hype and worship when it comes to movie stars and other attractive figures. I'm still blind to sexual attraction. I'll never understand how people can easily lust after someone with a glance and small talk.

But maybe I wasn't as aromantic as I thought.

I know I'm not heteromantic, or else I would've had tons of crushes on boys in my past by now. I've gone through sixteen/seventeen years without a crush just fine. How was it possible that I finally had one now?

I don't think it was because of supremely late puberty or any of that bullshit.

I think I might have just been demiromantic all along. Demiromantic: romantic attraction only toward anyone you forge an emotional connection with; wanes in between the spectrum of romanticism and aromanticism. Or something along those lines and definition.

Frankly, I can't be 100% sure, but I still know that I'm not straight. Years of trying to grasp the subject of sexuality and not catching onto crushes and sex like my peers did so eagerly was enough proof of that.

Even though I knew him for three years, it wasn't until my senior year, when we grew tremendously close to each other, did my feelings shift.

My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now and we haven't slept together simply because I can't be comfortable enough to do that due to my sexuality.

There haven't been many issues revolving around that, however, since he's been very understanding and supportive about my sexuality.

One day, we might create an offspring together, and perhaps intercourse might have to be flung in the formula of life by then. Adoption and sperm bank trips are exhausting and troubling in a lot of aspects, as well as costly. But that will be my only reason to engage in such activities, and I think that's okay. I can get by that.

To those who are still questioning, know that there's no shame to still have doubts, even after you think you've figured out what label fits you. Even if you struggle for years and still can't find a suitable label to mark your sexuality, you can always just forget all the specific labels and use a one-for-all term such as queer to describe yourself. Though the term queer, which is defined as anyone that's not straight, used to be coined as an offensive slur back in the olden days, it's not anymore.

Sexuality will always stand on a fluctuating and flexible spectrum. You might think you're one thing, but then time proves you wrong eventually, and that's okay.

So long as you're content and don't give a shit about what others think, it's fine to take your time with figuring out who you are.

A/N: I want to thank Hank Green for untangling the components of human sexuality so well. The video linked above is absolutely golden and I would recommend anyone who still has questions concerning gender and sexuality or anyone who's questioning or just anyone in general to watch it.