It hurts
Right here in my chest
To think you are doing your best
But that best is being ignored

I wake up every morning to greet him, even though I know he won't be able to read it until noon. It hurts whenever I have initiate the chat. It hurts when he replies "jwu po," and me asking "how's your sleep?" and him not replying until the evening.

It hurts whenever I have to ask him if he's home or not, or where he went, or where's he going. He'll just reply to me when he's already at his destination. I still have to chat him so that he can chat me.

It hurts whenever I want to spend time with him, but he spends it with his friends instead.

It hurts whenever I have to beg for his attention. It hurts to think if he's with someone else other than his friends. It hurts whenever I get jealous.

It hurts, it hurts, IT F*CKING HURTS!

But who am I in his life?

Nothing.

I have no right to be jealous or to force him to update him because...

We're not an item.

These past 2 weeks, we were unable to meet because of cases, like classes, work, weather. Now that we have time, he won't respond to my chats even though he is active. Not a single update of his whereabouts or what he's doing. Nothing.

Tapos mamaya magsasabi siya ng "sorry"?
No.
I'm not accepting his apology. I hope he realizes na nakakasakit siya ng tao.
Huwag niya akong idaan sa mga ganyan.

I don't care if you're busy or super busy, you should be able to chat me. I even chat him kahit busy sa work. It's just a few seconds of typing.

Pero ano magagawa ko? Wala naman kaming label or whatsoever.

I have to be firm on my stance.
Hindi na ako magiging marupok.
Makikita niya talaga.