(So, we all have been waiting for this trip. And the day is finally here...)

https://youtu.be/N9rK5dbpytE

Me: (Notices my childhood friends and Risky following me out of the school) Just like the good old days, right, ladies?

Zombina: (Sighs) It feels like my heart's beating again when I'm around you, 'Tassy...~

Doppel: Well, you aren't exactly alive, but I'll take your word for it.

Risky: (Whispers) These ladies seem to follow you everywhere... I know they're your childhood friends, but is it really a good idea to hang around them when I'm always here for you?

Me: You had no problem with the rest, so why do you have a problem with my childhood friends?

Risky: I've just not been notified of your past.

Me: My past is tragic, but I'll tell you anyways. Manfred Von Karma killed all my male demi-human friends in front of me without remorse, and I couldn't do anything at the time to stop him, for I didn't obtain my lightsaber yet. (Voice breaks) So, with a great amount of sorrow, I flew away in my Bat Form after Force Pushing that accursed prosecutor, feeling guilty I couldn't do anything to revive my friends... (Cries uncontrollably)

Risky: You poor thing... (Hugs me) No wonder you don't like to talk about it... Let it all out, my Tinkerbat King...

The others: You didn't know what happened in front of 'Tassy...?

Me: It's fine, girls. She just wasn't notified of my past experiences, that's all. Plus, I didn't know Force Heal at the time, adding more insult to injury... *sniff*

InfiniteLeJackal: I knew your past was tragic, but not that tragic... Damn.

Me: But I still have them... In my heart!

All of my childhood friends, Rigby, Mordecai and I:

https://youtu.be/sg7X-BMSe5c

(Please ignore the walking coffee bean and man in the video so you can enjoy this sound effect.)

InfiniteLeJackal: You recovered from that quickly. Alright, "Bat Buddy" and company, onto the customized bus with you.

Me: Sure thing, my "Jackal Buddy"!

https://youtu.be/VGA_mULmZ9E

(We arrive at the Onsen Resort)

Mia Fey: Everyone find a room, and pair up in groups of thirteen. Oh, and this is for the eleven new students for tonight, go to bed early, because it's a full moon.

Risky: I'm choosing my Tinkerbat King!

Miia and the other new students: I also choose 'Tassy!

Me: (Eyes widen, sweats nervously, knows what's on their minds, turns into a bat and flies away with my stuff to a random room) Come find me if you can!

Rachnera: (Laughs silently) Fortunately, I tied a 1000-foot-long silk strand to him, so we can find out what room he's in! C'mon, girls! But not too close!

(I choose Room 707, start unpacking and place my Switch next to my bed, along with hooking up my Xbox One to the TV)

Me: Perfect. (About to play Destiny, notices a strand on my cape) Huh...? Wait... A silk strand as thick as a pipe...? (Puts two and two together, realizes what Rachnera did) ...Rachnee, you clever lady.

???: Thanks, handsome~.

Me: (Hears a voice, looks up to see six beautiful crimson eyes and shiny lavender hair)

Rachnera: Hello, 'Tassy~. Don't scream~.

Me: Er... Rachnee... How long have you been up there...?

Rachnera: I just got here, and so did the rest in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... (snaps fingers)

(Door opens with a key card, doorknob turns, and everyone comes in, starting with Risky)

(Music ends, music below begins)

https://youtu.be/40QcUJkK8LA

Me: Er... Hey, girls. I've got Destiny, Bloons Tower Defense 5, Castle Crashers Remastered, Pokemon Shining Pearl, Pokemon Sword, Super Smash Bros Ultimate, and Super Mario 3D All-Stars. Does anyone wanna play those games instead...? (Chuckles nervously, rubs the back of my head)

Everyone else except Risky: (Smirks)

Me: (Runs while saying this)

https://youtu.be/8iUFEMEySNc

Rachnera: No, you don't, 'Tassy! (Ties me up)

Me: (Scared tone) Please... All of y-you... B-be gentle...

Risky: You heard what Principal Fey said!

Rachnera: It's a bit too late for that, Risky...

Risky: (Looks outside, gasps, sees that the moon is already up, and says this)

https://youtu.be/5mR1EzTK-7k

Rachnera and the others: (Snuggle up beside me)

Risky:

https://youtu.be/6GTSNfKpUE8

Rachnera: Aw...~ Is someone jealous...~?

Me: There's enough room for you, Risky...

Risky: That's not the issue, the issue is that they are smothering you with their busts!

(Explosion comes from the other side of the hall)

Kogarashi: (Falling out of the window) NOT AGAIIIIIIIIIIIN!

Yuuna: I'm so sorry!

Me: (Concentrates, using the Force to get Kogarashi back to his room)

Kogarashi: What?! Why am I floating?! (Lands in his room)

Me: Kogarashi REALLY needs to stop getting in those dicey situations, right, Risky?

Risky: Yeah, you're right. Also, on second thought, I will be joining.

Me:

https://youtu.be/KsymrAGpCak

(Well, that happened.)

(In the morning...)

Meowth: (Picks my lock, sees Risky and the others next to me) Yo, Antasma! Principal Fey wanted to tell ya and your friends dat breakfast is now bein' soived!

Me: Everyone, get up... Breakfast is being served...

https://youtu.be/fUwbNxRLInw

WAIT, BREAKFAST IS BEING SERVED?!

Miia and the others: Breakfast?!

(After our hygiene was taken care of...)

(Music ends, music below begins)

https://youtu.be/cMkT-02rYfM

Mia Fey: We have a breakfast buffet, courtesy of the hotel!

Everyone: *eyes sparkle*

Me: (Jumps like Mario) I claim the pancakes!

Manako: I think I'll go for some waffles.

Zombina: (Runs to the meat counter) Dibs on the sausage links!

Cerea: (Sees eggs, bacon, but no vegetables) Do you have any fruit?

Mia Fey: They're at a separate table, "Lady Shionus".

Cerea: Thank you very much, Principal Fey.

Mia Fey: No problem. Oh, Antasma, could you pass the syrup? I'm having French toast.

Me: 

https://youtu.be/KT9M9Srf-OI

(CUT! Take two!)

Me: Sure, here it is! (Uses the Force to pass the syrup, Mia Fey grabs it)

Mia Fey: Thanks!

Me: (Impersonates Eric Cartman) Oh, you are most certainly welcome!

Cartman: Nice one, Antasma! Rock on, you guys, I'm going home! (Goes back to the South Park dimension)

Mia Fey: Makes me wonder if he's cool with everyone that he gets along with...

Me: Yeah, everyone he considers to neither be annoying nor a threat. But he was actually pushed too far twice by people older than him.

Mia Fey: I remember that. You told me.

Rachnera: Oh, yeah. I remember as well. He did two things out of retaliation, but one of those times, it was justified.

Me: I know, right?

https://youtu.be/ksIPYNUDQrY

(Richard Lind: Allow me to explain the two times Cartman was pushed too far...)

https://youtu.be/RuuWozX8P5o

1) He was almost killed by the school faculty. The school faculty thought it would be a good idea to THROW CARTMAN UNDER A FUCKING BUS. So, as cruel justice, Cartman gave them cupcakes laced with Arby's Horse Radish Sauce and faked concern for the school faculty.

2) He was pushed too far by his (not yet revealed at the time) half-brother, Scott Tenorman. Scott conned poor Cartman out of $16.12, costing Cartman a ticket to the movies with his friends. Cartman was then forced to beg for his money in a humiliating manner while Scott's friends videotaped the whole thing, and next, Scott BURNED Cartman's money in front of him, then showed the video to everyone in the neighborhood! But when Cartman found out that Scott planned to feed him pube-tainted chili... That... Was... The... Last... Straw. So, Cartman planned to have Scott's parents killed by Farmer Jenkins, ground into chili, and served to the now-orphaned Scott Tenorman to EAT. (Cannibalism at its finest, ladies and gentlemen!) When Cartman revealed that he knew about the tainted chili, everyone was shocked. But when Cartman revealed his revenge plan and made fun of Scott, "Mr. Orphan" was crying because his parents were dead. It was at this inopportune time that Radiohead, Scott's favorite band, appeared to witness everything and proceeded to MOCK Scott, calling him a crybaby/uncool and just walked away. In the end, Scott couldn't take what he dished out. (Serves the ginger orphan RIGHT!)

But anyways, back to the story!

https://youtu.be/ksIPYNUDQrY

Me: Anyways, Principal Fey, how'd you sleep?

Mia Fey: I slept well. And you?

Me: The ladies slept with me, but they were fully clothed.

Kuroko: Fully clothed, you say?

Me: Yeah, everyone was fully clothed.

Kuroko: Since they only snuggled up, I'll let it slide.

Me: Yeah, I wanted Risky to sleep with me, but Rachnee actually tied a string of silk around my cape when I was unpacking so she and the others could find me easier... Not to worry, she didn't harm me in the slightest.

Kuroko: You weren't harmed at all?

Me: We're childhood friends, we'd never harm each other!

Kuroko: None of you girls harmed him?

Rachnera: No, we'd never do that to our 'Tassy~...

Me: Though I was a bit reluctant to proceed with snuggling up to not just Risky, but my friends as well... I was just being cautious. But then Risky joined us, and that's when I pulled a JonTron.

Kuroko: You pretty much said "WTF?!"

Me: Yeah, I was shocked, but then I remembered there was enough room for Risky. That's when Yuuna caused another explosion in the room next to us and I had to use the Force to rescue Kogarashi from certain death via hitting the ground from a long way down. But before you go arresting the poor Yurei, you need to know something: Yuuna gets shaken up easily, which causes her poltergeist activity in the first place. She can't control her poltergeist activity, she has yet to master it.

Kuroko: She can't control her poltergeists?

Me: Yuuna prefers to be a friendly Yurei, for she doesn't like causing mischief...

Kuroko: I see. And according to Kogarashi, she appears as a busty college girl in a yukata?

Me: Yup. I brought a Silph Scope so you can see for yourself.

Kuroko: (Slips on Silph Scope, sees Yuuna) You're right, she IS a college girl in a yukata! Can I keep this Silph Scope?

Me: Sure, and that's because any friend of my childhood friends is a friend of mine!

Sagari: (Throws kunai at me) You're crossing the line.

Me:

https://youtu.be/7n7Gg7gPG3I

(Slices kunai in half) No, YOU ARE!

Everyone except Sagari:

https://youtu.be/sg7X-BMSe5c

Sagari: (Under her breath) Idiots.

Risky, me and the others:

https://youtu.be/6GTSNfKpUE8

Me: 

https://youtu.be/Qi1RAepaBwY

Kuroko: I'm warning you, Sagari! (Takes out a taser) Put your kunai away NOW!

Sagari: Hmph! Fine... (Puts kunai away)

???: Someone's either angry or jealous...

(We see a jester with a bow tie bouncing on a little ball.)

https://youtu.be/V2Jiyy-IT4Y

Me: Marx! How'd you get here?

Marx: Well, I flew here! I actually have an entertaining story for you all as to why I don't drink any form of alcohol:

https://youtu.be/PWPrdit-u2w

Another story I heard about myself, this one happened in high school, we had this teacher in high school whose kid went to our high school. His name was Zero and his son, Miracle Matter, went to our high school he was a sophomore when I was a senior, so he was 2 years behind me.
And Zero was an asshole and one weekend he and his wife, Zero Two (No anime reference intended) decided to leave town, which you should never do if you're an asshole. And Miracle Matter decided to throw a party at the teacher's house Hurrah!!(sarcastically) And everyone around town heard about it, and we all got up individually and thought: "Okay, let's go over there and destroy the place."

I walked into this party, everyone I had ever met was there, and everyone was drinking like it was the end of the world. People were drinking like it was the Civil War and a doctor was coming to saw our legs off. It was totally unsupervised; we were like dogs without horses, we were running wild. I walk down to the basement, they had a pool table in the basement, Magolor took a running start and threw his body onto the pool table and broke it in half. Taranza found out which room was Zero's and went upstairs and placed the "PINGAS!" face on his computer... So the party was going great. I'm standing in the basement and I'm holding a red cup (you've seen movies), and I'm starting to black out. And I guess someone said like "something, something police" and in a brilliant moment of word association, I yelled "fuck da police! fuck da police!" and everyone else joined in. Think about this for a second: A hundred drunk white children yelling "fuck da police" with the confidence of guys who have like already been to jail and aren't afraid of it anymore. You know that like "I served my nickle, you come and take me" confidence, but the people saying it were white children. The reason someone had said "something, something police" was because the police were there. So, a Chicago police officer walked down the stairs, and got to the bottom of the basement and looked out over a sea of drunk toddlers yelling "fuck da police" in his face, and he was almost impressed... he was like "wow". And then he leaned into his walkie-talkie and went "get the paddy wagon". And my friend John (who is now a father, this man now has a baby) grabbed a 40, smashed it on the ground, and yelled "scatter!" And everyone ran in a different direction,
we all ran in different directions.

(It was like that scene in Rataouille when the humans come in the kitchen and all the rats go in different ways.)

We all ran in different directions. I ran into the laundry room, and I jumped on the washing machine, and I crawled out through a window into the backyard and now I'm running through the backyard and there's this big chain-linked fence and I thought "I've never climbed a fence that high before" and then I woke up at home. On Monday, I went to school, because that's what we did back then. And I'm walking into the school building and who do I see but Miracle Matter. He says to me "hey, were you at my party on Saturday?", and I said "no", you know, like a liar. And he said "things got really out of hand, someone broke the pool table, someone placed the 'PINGAS!' face on my dad's computer" "but the worst thing", he says, "the worst thing is that someone stole these old antique photos of my grandmother, and my parents are freaking out about it." And I had that thought, that only black out drunks and Steve Urkel can have:  "Did I do that?" I figured no, I wouldn't have done that, but I was never sure until, 2 years later. I'm playing video games with this kid named Gryll that we also went to high school with 2 years later, we've graduated by now. We're playing video games for a couple hours and then Gryll says to me, "Hey, come here. I want to show you something." And then she takes me into her bedroom, and then she takes me into a side room off of her bedroom... Never a good thing to have. She shows me a tiny room that is covered wall to wall in stolen antique photos from different people's parties over the years. And I said "why?" (in a whisper) (still whispering) "why do you do this?" And Gryll said, "because it's the one thing you can't replace." That's the end of that story, but how fucked up is that, right? That's crazy... So I don't drink anymore.

Me: Classic Jonathon Mulaney. He cracks me up.

Marx:

https://youtu.be/oxLfBxmPq08

(Looks to my childhood friends) Anyways, I hear you eleven beautiful ladies are Antasma's childhood friends that made part of this "girl posse" he's been talking about? The name's Marx, and it's a pleasure to meet you. (Extends wings, bows)

(After the introductions...)

Me: So, Marx, I take it you've been keeping well?

Marx: Yeah, I've been doing great! (Sips cocoa)

Me: Glad to hear it, my "Jester Buddy"! What brings you here?

Marx: I'm a last-minute staff for your university, my class being theatre-style acting and on Fridays... Pranking!

Me: So, you're in cahoots with Jim Carrey, then?

Marx: Yeah, as well as James Marsden!

Me: And the pranks are harmless...?

Marx: Of course, they're usually prank calls.

Me: The BEST prank! I'll come up with some good ones, then you can join us in our prank call reunion group, Marx!

(TO BE CONTINUED...)