Mya

The sunlight filtered through the curtains, casting soft, golden rays over the room. I stirred, blinking away the remnants of sleep, the warmth of the blankets clinging to me like a faint memory of comfort. It was early earlier than I usually woke, but today felt different. My mind was already racing, tumbling through the same thoughts that had plagued me the night before.

Jordan. Us. The secret. The weight of it all had been wearing me down, little by little, until it felt like there was no room left for anything else.

I glanced at him lying next to me, his chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm. He was my calm, my constant, but this secrecy, this ever-present fear of what would happen if the truth came out it was suffocating me.

I didn’t want to feel this way. I didn’t want to doubt us. I knew that what we shared was real, that it meant something deep and undeniable. But the world around us, our families hell, even my own insecurities had a way of creeping in, reminding me how fragile everything could be.

With a sigh, I shifted under the covers, my bare feet touching the cool wooden floor. The sound of the morning birds chirping outside, the distant hum of traffic felt distant, like I was still trapped in the bubble of my own fears.

I stood, stretching my arms above my head, letting the tension in my body unwind, even if just for a moment. My reflection in the mirror greeted me with dark circles under my eyes, evidence of restless nights spent battling my thoughts. I couldn’t remember the last time I felt truly at peace, without that nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach.

The shower was calling, and I let the sound of running water drown out the noise in my head. Stepping under the spray, I closed my eyes, feeling the warmth envelop me like a cocoon. I let it wash over me, trying to cleanse not just my body but the swirling storm in my mind. I let the water hit my skin, feeling it soothe the tension that had built up in my shoulders.

For a moment, I thought about nothing. No secrets. No fears. Just the sensation of water cascading down, cooling the heat that had built up in my chest. But even in that moment of clarity, it didn’t last. The thoughts, the worries they crept back in, as relentless as ever.

What if the truth came out? What if everything we had everything I had crumbled because of this lie we were living? The uncertainty gnawed at me. I had to face it had to face the reality of our situation. But could I really do that? Could we really keep this up forever?

As the water ran, I felt the weight of it all pressing down on me. And then, with a quiet exhale, I steadied myself. I needed to face the truth, both the fear and the love. I needed to open up to Jordan, to tell him exactly how I was feeling.

I stepped out of the shower, the fog of steam filling the bathroom. My reflection stared back at me, eyes tired, lips tight, but still standing. Still breathing. Still here.

After wrapping myself in a soft towel, I ventured into the living room. Jordan was already awake, sitting on the couch, his head tilted slightly as he looked at me. His eyes those brown eyes I loved were soft, full of concern, like he could see through all the walls I’d built around myself. He didn’t speak, but his gaze was enough. He could tell something was off, something was weighing me down.

"Good morning," I whispered, the words slipping out, but they didn’t feel real. Not when my mind was still trapped in the storm of uncertainty.

"Good morning," he replied, his voice low, soothing, like always. But today, it wasn’t enough to quiet the hurricane inside me. I had to let him in. I had to speak the words that had been eating away at me.

I sat next to him, feeling the warmth of his presence, but even his steady calm couldn’t drown out my fear. “Jordan,” I began, my voice trembling, “I’m scared. I’m so scared.”

He turned to me, his hand finding mine instantly, squeezing it like he was trying to anchor me. "I know you are, Mya. I see it," he said softly, the concern deepening in his gaze. "But whatever you’re afraid of, we’ll face it together."

I shook my head, pulling my hand away for a moment, as if I could gather the right words. “What if we’re not enough? What if this us this secret, it all falls apart? What if they find out and everything we’ve worked for... everything we’ve built... crumbles?”

I could feel the tears threatening to spill, but I fought them back. My hands twisted nervously in my lap, as though the simple act of fidgeting could somehow settle my racing heart. “I don’t want to lose you, Jordan. I don’t want to lose this.”

He stood, taking my face gently in his hands, his thumbs wiping away the first tear that had slipped free. “You won’t lose me. I won’t let you go. You and me, we’ve already been through hell and back. This, this secret it doesn’t change what we have.”

His words were like a balm to my soul, but they didn’t quite erase the doubt that lingered in the back of my mind. “But what if it does? What if our families can’t accept us? What if they never understand why we’re doing this?”

Jordan’s eyes never wavered. “They will. It’s just... not the right time yet. But no matter what happens, I’m not going anywhere. You’re not in this alone.”

His voice was steady, unwavering, and for the first time in days, I felt something resembling peace settle in my chest. It wasn’t complete, but it was enough to keep me going.

I leaned into him, resting my head on his shoulder, feeling his heartbeat beneath my ear. For a moment, I let myself just be no thoughts of the future, no worries about what we were hiding. Just him. Just us.

But as we sat there, holding each other, a sharp knock at the door broke the moment. My heart stopped. The sound echoed in my chest, too loud, too insistent.

I pulled away from Jordan, my breath catching in my throat. Who could that be?

Another knock. Firm. It wasn’t a casual visitor. Whoever was on the other side knew what they were doing.

I exchanged a glance with Jordan, his face now clouded with the same concern I felt. "Mya?" he asked, his voice barely a whisper.

I didn’t know what to say. The fear, the uncertainty it all came rushing back. My mind flashed to a hundred possibilities, but one thought stood out more than the rest.

It was someone from my past. Someone who should’ve stayed there.

I stood, my legs feeling weak beneath me as I walked toward the door. Jordan moved to stand beside me, his presence a steady comfort as I reached for the doorknob.

But before I could open it, a voice I hadn’t heard in years broke through the silence.

“Mya.”

The blood drained from my face.

I knew that voice.

I froze.

This was the moment I had been dreading.

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