GULF POV

Medyo madilim na ng magising ako. Maayos na din ang pakiramdam ko kumpara kanina. Masakit pa din naman ang pwet ko, pero medyo bearable na.

"Ayos ka lang?" Tanong ni Mild sa akin. He's still on wheelchair.

Andito sya sa kwarto ni Mew kanina pa. Iniwan sya dito ni Boat para daw may kasama ako habang wala pa si Mew.

Si Boat ang nag-asikaso sa akin kanina. Mula sa pagpapadala ng pagkain sa kwarto ko hanggang sa pag-inom ko ng gamot. Inalis na din nya ang dextrose ko. May inaasikaso daw kasi si Mew kaya wala ito.

"Diba dapat ikaw ang tanongin ko kung ayos ka lang?" Panunuya ko sabay turo sa kanyang kalagayan.

"Kompara sa akin, mas malala ka. I don't have laceration and fever. Hindi lang ako makalakad ng maayos."

Hindi ako umimik. Sinamaan ko nalang sya ng tingin na ikinatawa nya.

"Hindi ka ba magtatanong kung ano ang nangyari?"

Napatingin ako sa kisame tsaka ako nagpakawala ng buntong-hininga.

"Eyes put something on the juice.  Yun lang naman ang ininom natin parehas dahilan para nasa parehas tayong sitwasyon."

"And?"

Napatingin ako kay Mild. "May galit ba sya sa akin?"

"Hindi lahat ng gumagawa ng masama ay dahil sa galit. Some of them was instructed to do things, and they can't say no."

"Pwede naman nilang hindi gawin diba? Lahat naman ay may pagpipilian."

"Most of us, but not all. Lahat ay may karapatang pumili, ngunit hindi lahat binigyan ng pagpipilian."

Hindi ako nakaimik sa sinabi na iyon ni Mild. Totoo naman kasi iyon.

"Sa tingin mo? Bakit nya ginawa yun?Una si Mew, tapos tayong dalawa."

"Sya lang ang nakakaalam ng rason nya."

Napatango nalang ako. Maybe, she doesn't have a choice. Mabait naman kami ni Mild sa kanya, hindi rin naman nya kilala si Mew.

Hindi nga ba?

Black Lady.

Napabuntong-hininga ako. Ang daming sekreto ng mundo at nakakatakot pag nabunyag ang mga ito.

"Maiba ako, anong balak mo ngayon?"

Kunot-noo akong napatingin kay Mild.

"Saan?"

"Sa inyong dalawa ni Mew."

"Huh?"

Napakamot ng ulo si Mild. "Gulf, lokohin mo na yang sarili mo pero hindi mo ako maloloko. You have feeling to him right?"

"Pinagsasabi mo?"

Kinakabahan ako. Ganun ba ako kahalata para maisip ito ni Mild.

"I know when was the medicine got effect. Bago ka makarating sa columbarium, tumatalab na ito. You go their to hide. But when Mew arrive you gave in. Sa tingi  ko, hindi ganun kadami ang nailagay ni Eyes sa inumin natin. I'm aware of what happened and so are you. I also have control on myself that time, but since it's Boat on me, I go wild. Same with you."

Umiwas ako ng tingin. Why is he always hitting the right spot? Manghuhula ba sya?

"Mew don't like me. I mean, he is not a gay."

"What if he did?He love you and he want you?"

"Malabo pa yun sa tubig ng imbornal Mild."

"So, ganun nalang?"

"Malamang. After all it's just a sex."

"Let see." Sumandal ito sa wheelchair nya at tinitigan ako.

"What's with the stare?" Takang tanong ko.

"What if. What if lang ha? What if he ask you to be his boyfriend, ano gagawin mo?"

"Hindi ko alam." Agad kong sagot.

"Then think about it." He unlocked his wheelchair. "Aalis na muna ako. Pag-isipan mo ang tanong ko.

Hindi ako sumagot. Hinatid ko lang sya tingin hanggang sa makalabas ng pintuan tsaka ako napailing.

Ano ba pag-iisipan ko? Malabo pa sa tubig ng kanal na magkagusto sa akin si Mew. Beside....

Napa buntong-hininga ako. Hindi tama 'to. Bakit ko naiisip na maging kami ni Mew? Nababaliw na ata ako.

No you're not. Mahal mo lang talaga sya. Hindi mo lang napapansin. Hindi mo pinag tutuunan ng pansin.

Pinilig ko ang aking ulo. Nababaliw na nga ako.

Pero kaylan ko ba naramdaman 'to? Kaylan nagsimula? Bakit ganun? Hindi ko napansin?

What if he ask you to be his boyfriend, ano gagawin mo?

Posible ba? Paano kung oo? Ano nga ba gagawin ko? Papayag ako? Paano kung niloloko nya lang ako. After what happened to us, posible na ganun ang mangyari.

No! Ayaw ko! Kung gusto nya ako, he has to prove it. Patunayan nya.

Pero paano ko nga ba sya nagustuhan? Ano bang mayroon sya na nagustuhan ko?

"Okay ka na ba?"

Nagulat ako sa biglang pagsulpot ni Mew sa harapan ko. Nilagay nya ang kanyang kamay sa aking noo.

"Hindi ka na masyadong mainit." Aniya sabay lipat ng kamay nya sa leeg ko at pinalit ng kanyang noo ang kamay nya sa noo ko.

Napasinghap ako at ilang beses na napalunok. Mas mainit ang kamay nya sa balat ko. Pakiramdam ko ay may kung ano na biglang nagpainit ng aking pakiramdam.

"Me...Mew." Mahinang tawag ko.

"Kumain ka na ba?"

Marahan akong tumango. Ang lapit parin ng mukha nya sa mukha ko.

"Can we talk." Mahina nyang tanong. Naamoy ko ang mabango nyang hininga.

"Tungkol saan?"

Something in me starting is starting to fire up. Ang hirap pigilan lalo na at ganito sya kalapit.

"About us." Aniya. Bahagya sya lumayo but my hand unconciously grab his shirt and pull him towards me.

"Ano ba ang tungkol sa atin."

I look straight into his eyes. Kita ko ang pagtataka sa mga mata niya sa ginawa ko. And the restrain on something. Do we have the same feelings?

"Can you be mine?"

I can hear what he said, but I can't process it. My mind is hazy. May after shock ba ang nainom ko? Bakit ganito? I missed his touch and I want it. I want him?

"Pull away Mew." Pumikit ako at lumunok ng ilang beses to supress everything. Naalala ko  sabi ni Boat wala ng epekto ang gamot. And me having this feeling is not because of that drink. It's my own feelings. My own desire.

"Ayos ka lang?"

Dinilat ko ang aking mata at tumingin kay Mew tsaka ngumiti. 

"Ayos lang ako."

Sino niloko ko? I'm not okay.

"I just want to clear things between us."

"Tungkol ba sa nangyari? I'm aware of it. Sorry."

Umiwas ako ng tingin. Us talking about what happened is not really good. Diba pwedeng bukas nalang 'to?

"Sorry for what? Wala ka namang kasalanan sa nangyari."

Tumingin ako muli sa kanya. This time, I locked my eyes to him.

"It's the juice. But I'm aware of what happened.  I can control myself, but I didn't do it. I let the medicine or drug to takeover of everything."

Saying those things, pakiramdam ko ang tanga ko. Feeling like this, parang ang baba kong tao.

"Don't say sorry." Napitlag ako ng hawakan nya ang kamay ko. "Because I don't. I like what happened between us."

"Mm." Napatingin ako sa amin mga kamay. Napakagandang nakikita na hawak nya ang kamay ko.

"I want you to be mine, Gulf."

Mabilis pa sa alas kwartro na napatingin ako sa kanya. His eyes locked on me. His hand is caressing mine.

"I want us to in a relationship. I want to call you mine. I want us to have label."

I can see sincerity on his eyes. I can feel his words. And I can saw how hot he is while saying those words.

T**g-i*a ka Gulf! Magpigil ka!

"Dahil ba sa nangyari? It's just a s*x Me....."

"It's make love to me Gulf." Napalunok ako sa diin ng pagsasalita nya. "It's not sex Gulf. I don't feel like that. We did not had a s*x, we made love."

"Eh di made love. Pero hindi mo naman kailangan na lagyan ng label yun. Hindi naman ako babae para panagutan mo."

"But you're important to me. And I want you mine."

He cupped my face. His thumb is stroking my check slowly. I close my eyes then I hold his hand. Dinilat ko ang aking mga mata at dumiretsong tumingin sa kanya.

"I'm already yours, Mew."

"But I want us to have a label."

"Is that important?"

Malamang Gulf, tanga.

"Para sa nanliligaw na tulad ko, oo."

Natigilan ako. "Nanliligaw?" Takang tanong ko.

"Sabi na nga ba hindi mo alam." Natawa ng pagak si Mew. He let go of my face and hold my hand with his both hand.

"Ano ba ibig mong sabihin?" Medyo itaas ko ang aking sarili. Pain strike but it's bearable.

"Remember the first time sumama ako sa lakad nyo nila Mild?"

"Oo." Sinabayan ko ng tango ang sagot ko.

"I confess to you that night."

Napaisip ako. Inalala ko ang gabi na yun. It was Mild birthday. Boat organized a simple party for him sa isang disco club ma pag mamay-ari ng Ohm, Boun cousin. All the gang was invited. Yun ang unang beses na sumama si Mew sa amin.

Mew is not a party goer, same as me. Kung hindi ako pinilit ni Mild hindi rin ako sasama ng gabing iyon. Nakiusap lang talaga si Mild sa akin dahil ayaw nya naman daw ipahiya si Boat.

It was a blast. Bumabaha ng pagkain at inumin. Boat rented a vip room for all of us. Hindi ako nalasing ng gabing iyon, pero tinamaan ako ng magaling. Hindi nga ba? Ang alam ko lang nakauwi pa ako ng condo ni Mew noon.

"Wala ako maalala." Umiling ako. Natawa lang si Mew. Marahan nyang hinimas ang kamay ko na ikinapikit ko.

Sh*t. I'm shivering with his touch.

"I confess to you that night. I like..no... I love you from the very start. From the time my eyes met yours. You captured my heart instantly and owned the whole space from that time. I started courting you, kahit na alam ko hindi mo alam. I looked like stupid, pero wala akong paki-alam. It's you,the whole you is all i care."

"Bakit? Bakit ako?"

My heart is about to explode. Hindi ko ito inaasahan. Who would be. Lalaki ako, lalaki si Mew. Lahat ng ito mali. Nagtatalo ang isip at puso ko. My mind say it's wrong, but my heart says it's right.

"Do I need a reason? Do I need a reason to like you? To love you? Can't I love you without a reason?"

"Mew."

He hold my face again. "I love you Gulf. Please be mine."

"Let's just be like this. Sex partner, sex buddy or what ever u call it. Let's not put more level than that." Then I pulled his head and kissed him lightly.

"But...." I cut him.

"Just love me even without any label."

I kissed him again, this time, it's not light anymore.

Natatakot ako. Natatakot ako sa pwedeng kahinatnan ng relasyon namin kung magkakaroon kami ng lebel. Mas mainam na siguro ang ganito. Anuman ang mangyari, hindi yun magiging ganun kasakit.

MEW'S POV

Gulf licked my lips asking for a permission to enter. His kissed is
intense, it make me shocked.

"Kiss me." Utos nya sa akin at muli nyang akong hinalikan. I gave in on what he want.

I kissed him back with the same intensed. I open my mouth, letting his tongue to enter and play with mine.

We both moaned as our tongue played sword. His hand starting to unbuckled my belt, unbuttoned and unzipped my pants. I let out a long moaned when his hand reach my friend.

"Gulf." I called him in the middle of our kissed.

"Can I? Can we?" His hand already playing with my thing.

"Stop Gulf." I grabbed his arm but not his hand. Napapikit ako sa ginagawa ng mainit nyang kamay.

"Can you stop?" His voice is damn sexy.

"I hope I can." I answered. This time, ako na ang humalik sa kanya.

We kissed, and touched each other. Our moan filled the room. The heat of our body dominates the air of the ac.

"Are you sure about this?" I asked Gulf. His on top of me, stroking my friend from his behind.

"Mm." He answered. He ready his behind on the top of my friend and slowly put it inside.

"Damn it Gulf!" I hissed. I grabed his head it kissed him.

He stop for a while then start moving slowly. It's driving me crazy. He's teasing me with his slow move.

"Damn it Gulf." I pushed him on the bed. "Your naughty."

He smiled. "Am I?" He asked then licked his lips while looking at my hard friend.

I lift his legs and put it on my shoulder. Then I bend down and enter him. He moaned and hold tight on the edge of the bed. I like his look. The expression of his face. I like how he react on the pleasure that we are sharing.

I slowly move in and out, making his hole adjust to my friend. He's still tight and his hole gripping my friend so good.

"Mew. Hmm." He moaned. He moved his hips together with mine.

We dance with our own music. Move in the rythym and speed. We sang the same song till we reached the top.

We did it thrice. I carry Gulf in the bathroom to clean. He let me do it. Napailing ako. His tired.

Nang matapos ko syang linisan ay binalik ko sya sa kama at binihasan. He fell asleep habang binibihisan ko sya. Nang maiayos ko sya sa higaan ay nagbihis na din ako pakatapos ay tumabi na ako sa kanya. I put his head on my arm.

Matama kong pinagmasdan ang kanyang mukha. I trace his brows, eyes, nose, lips and cheeks. He's the most beautiful person for me.

Hinalikan ko sya sa noo tsaka ko sya niyakap. Hindi ko gusto ang desisyon nya. I want us to have a label. Yung may karapatan ako na ipagdamot sya. I will just repect what he want. Mag-aantay ako sa panahon na bibigyan nya kami ng lebel.