MEW POV

"Is he okay?" Nag-aalalang tanong ng ko kay Boat.

I'm damn worried. Nag eexpect na ako na may mangyayari kay Gulf after what we did, but not this. Saglit ko lang syang iniwan sa kwarto dahil natutulog na sya. Kumain lang ako ng balot, pero pagbalik ko ay nanginginig sya at nilalagnat. 39.8 degrees body temperature is not a joke. Buti nalang at nandito si Boat.

Nagsi-uwian na ang mga kaibigan ko na baliw. After Anuson won 500 pesos sa pustahan  nila, they received a call from their men. They have to go home even if they don't want. We got some attacks from the lower families. They don't have choice even if they want to stay. They have to be with their group. They are also worried of Gulf condition. Sinong hindi? We just had 9 rounds because of that damn medicine, and this happened. Gulf have a high fever. Kulang nalang ay ilublub namin sya sa tubig para lang bumaba ang lagnat nya kanina. Buti kahit papaano ay tumalab ang gamot na tinurok sa kanya ni Boat. I want don't him to be hospitalized. Walang dapat makaalam nang tungkol sa gamot na nainom nya. Not now.

"He's fine. Your just too big for him. May kunting sugat lang naman sa loob ng kanyang pwet, idagdag pa na namamaga ito. Well I can't blame anyone of you. It's his first time, tapos 9 rounds. And that member of your is too big and he had that medicine.

Napapikit ako. No, it's my fault. I should control myself. But hell! Ang hirap magpigil if Gulf is the one asking me to pleasure him and ask for more. He's uncontrollable, so how can I restrain myself?

"Anong gagawin ko?" Hindi ako marunong mag-alaga ng taong may sakit. Kahit minsan ay hindi ko iyon ginawa. Kahit sa sarili ko. May yaya ako na nag-aalaga sa akin noong bata pa ako. Now, I have Anuson and Boat. I really don't know what to do specially with Gulf condition.

"Take care of him of course. Don't worry I'll help you." Saglit nya akong nilingon bago muling itinuon ang pansin sa dextrose ni Gulf. He had to take medicine, but since hindi namin alam kung kaylan ba sya magigising, Boat decide to put a him on dextrose for his medicine.

Sinulyapan ko si Gulf. He's peacefully sleeping or is he? He is wearing my pair of pajama. Binihisan ko agad sya kanina bago ko tinawag si Boat. I hold his hand tsaka ko iyon hinalikan. Kung alam ko lang na magkakaganito sya, I will restrain myself at all means. I know I'm big. It's nine inches. I just expect him unable to walk and sore all over, but not this.

"Mahaba-habang paliwanagan ang kailangan pag nagising yan." Ani Mild na nakaupo sa wheelchair. He can't walk properly also. Luckily, Anuson bought a wheelchair. Minsan napapakinabangan ang kagaguhan ni Anuson eh.

"Boss yung totoo,cactus ba yang iyo?" Ani Anuson.

Kunot-noo ko syang tinignan. Ano na naman katarantaduhan ang nasa isip nito?

"Eh kasi naman, si Mild hindi lang nakakalakad ng maayos. Eh si Gulf? Hindi na nga makakapaglakad, nilalagnat pa. Anal fissures. May sugat sa loob. May tinik ba yung pumasok para magkasugat?"

Damn Anuson's imagination. Nahilot ko ang aking sintido. Kung pwede ko lang syang tanggalin, agad-agad kong gagawin. But him being like this, panigurado may problema ito.

"May oras ka din sa akin Reaper." Asik ko sa kanya.

Nagkibit-balikat lang ito tsaka tumayo at lumabas ng silid. I saw how his smile gone before he closed the door. May problema nga sya. Alam ko kung pag inaatake sya ng kaabnormalan nya. It's his way of hiding what's really going on his side. He can fooled others, but not me. Matagal na kaming magkasama at kilala ko sya. Dapat malaman ko kung ano iyon. Though I have an idea.

"Take a sleep Mew." Ani Boat kaya napatingin ako sa kanya. "You need to rest also. Bukas na yam magigising si Gulf."

"Hmm. Pahinga na din kayo." Tinignan ko si Mild na agad umiwas ng tingin sa akin. "That medicine is really no good."

"Not that bad actually. But the aftermat is not a joke." Sagot ni Boat.

"We need to take a step." Maikuyom ko ang aking kamao. Hindi ako makakapayag na mailabas sa black market ang gamot na yun. Not under my watch.

"Bago mo isipin yan, isipin mo muna ang tungkol sa inyo ni Gulf." Natigilan ako sa sinabi na iyon ni Boat.

"Hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin ko."

When it comes to Gulf, kahit alam ko ang dapat gawin, nawawalan ako ng ideya sa lahat. Nawawala lahat pagdating sa kanya. Parang napaparalisa ang buong pagkatao ko, maging ang utak ko pag dating sa kanya. Para syang isang bagay na alam ko paano hawakan pero nawawalan ako ng idea kung paanong pag-iingat o kung paano ko sya panghahawakan.

"Make everythings clear. Oras na siguro para klaruhin mo na ang lahat sa kanya. It's been four years Mew. Nanliligaw ka sa kanya pero sya hindi nya alam na ginagawa mo yun. Make a one step forward. You already take him. Time to own him already." Marahan nyang tinapik ang balikat ko tsaka nya binalingan si Mild. He kissed him and patted his head. Ngumiti lang si Mild sa kanya.

"Oo nga pala." Muling lumingon sa akin si Boat. "Anuson ask Mawin about the medicine. Boun got an example of the medicine. His injured as we expected. Kami na bahala magpaliwanag kay Prem sa nangyari. You know him. Kami na ang bahala sa kanya. Boun is fine, just some little scratches. And Eyes, she's dead."

"Let Anuson handle everything for now. He need diversion." Sagot ko.

"Alam mo kung ano nangyari sa kanya? He's weird." Tanong ni Mild.

"Arn happened. Let him for now. If he can't handle it, I will do it for him."

"Okay. Sige na, magpahinga ka na. Magpapahinga na din kami."

Tumango lang ako at hinatid sila ng tingin hanggang sa makalabas sila ng pintuan.

Napabuntong-hininga ako. Nilingon ko si Gulf. I squeezed his hand and hold it with my two hands.

"If I own you, would you allow it?"

I kissed the back of his hand tsaka ko pinatong doon ang ulo ko. Matama ko syang tinitigan.

I want him to be mine. Mahal ko sya matagal na. I confessed to him 4 years ago,  and court him. Alam ko na hindi nya naaalala ang sinabi ko ng gabing iyon, but I still court him.  Siguro oras na para magkaalaman na kami. Whatever the result, tatanggapin ko. Handa naman na akong masaktan.

The past binded us. Yung nakaraan na hindi naman namin kasalanan. What happened to him, who did it, what happened to me, who I lost, what happened to us, why we are here, our connection, everything will lead us in pain. It's a path that was choosen by someone for us.

Our life, his choice. Masaklap man, pero iyon ang totoo. Ever since, our life was controlled. Our fate was planned by someone. Someone that connect us because of those stupid beliefs, and lead us to this situation.

Pero hindi ako papayag na habang buhay nya ako kontolin. I'm old enough to handle my own life. My life, my choice. Also, I have the ace that make me touch by no one. I'm Death, I owned hell, but I owned the whole underworld. He controlled me, he can't do it anymore. Not now that Gulf is here. No one can touch me, no one can controlled me, only Gulf.

I kissed Gulf hand again before I let it go. Tumayo ako at inayos ang kumot nya tsaka ko sya hinalikan sa noo. He's still burning.

"Wake up baby, we need to settle things." Bulong ko sa kanya.

Pinagmasdan ko ang kanyang mukha. I slowly stroke his hair and kissed his forehead again.

This man is mine. I will make him mine whatevet it takes. I don't care of the pain that will strike me, all I care about is him.

Umalis ako sa tabi nya. I want him to be mine, I have to make a plan. Many will harm him if I he become mine, specially him. I have to make a plan ahead of time. No one can touch him,only me. No one can hurt him except me, on my bed. I had to make sure he will be safe.

I picked my phone and dialled a number. The call was answered immediately.

"I got her. She's with me." Natawa ako sa boses nya. She's sound off. She can't hide.

"How is she?"

"Buhay pa naman." Tumawa ako ng malakas. She's really not in the mood.

"Ikaw?  Kamusta ka?"

"Buhay pa din naman."

Napailing ako. She's really not in the mood.

"Good. I'll send someone there to take care of her. Once she's okay, you're free."

"Am I allowed to kill someon"
Napapikit ako. Malaki nga talaga ang problema nya. She's not a kind of women who will asked me like this, unless he's really pissed. Someone awaken the hidden beast inside her.

"It's up to you. But I bet you can't kill him." Naglakad ako patungo sa banyo. I need to clean myself first bago ako tumabi kay Gulf. But with her on the phone, I need to do multi tasking.

"He deserve to die."

Napatigil ako sa pagkuha ng aking toothbrush ng marinig ko syang suminghot. She crying.

"Let it all out. Hindi kita mapupuntahan ngayon dyan because of Gulf. But let it out. Cry as much as you want, but make sure that little one is safe."

"He don't deserve my tears. I let him live for a while. After this bitch is fine, I will claim his life."

Then she ended the call. Napabuntong-hininga nalang ako. Minsan talaga nagbibigay tayo ng tiwala sa maling tao. Madalas din naloloko tayo ng mukha nilang maamo.

Sa problema nila, kailangan ko ng mangi-alam. Her demon awakened, and it's not good.

Mabilis kong tinapos ang paglilinis ko sa aking katawan. I badly need a rest. 9 rounds is not a joke. Salamat sa balot may lakas pa ang aking tuhod.

Nagulat ako ng pagkalabas ko ng banyo ay nasa loob si Hiter, makatayo sa tabi ng kama at nakatingin kay Gulf.

"Kala ko hindi mo sya pupuntahan." Wika ko.

"Gusto kita suntukin alam mo ba yun?" Bumalik ako sa pwesto ko kanina tsaka ko tinignan ng diretso si Hiter.

"Pero hindi ko ginawa."

"I will let Gulf punched you, my brother."

Napangiti ako.

"Paninindigan ko sya kuya, wag ka mag-alala."

"Dapat lang. He might be a man, but he still have a pride and ego. Panindigan mo sya or isusumbong kita kila mama."

"I will."

"Good. Sige na pahinga ka na." Tsaka sya tumalikod sa akin.

"Kuya, he's coming back." Habol ko na sabi kay Hiter.

Agad syang humarap sa akin. He's mad and I can see it. Who will not. That man made our past painful.

"Alam ko may plano ka. I want to kill him, but I know I can't. I stick with whatever your plan is, just make sure our parents will get the justice they deserve."

"I will. Nagsisimula na ang plano ko."

Tumango sya tsaka nya nilingon si Gulf.

"Take care of him. Love him for the rest of your life. Whatever happen, stay with him and love him. Sa lahat ng nangyari sya ang nasaktan ng sobra. Sa lahat ng pwedeng mangyari, sya ang mas masasaktan. He's like a pain absorber. He don't deserve it."

"Alam ko. And yes, I'll stay with him till my last breath."

"I don't want to lose my brother again."Tumingin sya sa akin. Kinabahan ako sa determinasyon na nakikita sa mata nya. "Protect him, and I'll protect both of you."

Then he left.

Naikuyom ko ang aking kamo. I lost my brother once, I will not lost him again. I have to step up in that position. After all it's mine. I have to claim it, for my brother.