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MAGGIE'S POV

✨ SEVERAL MONTHS LATER ✨

It's both a blessing and a curse that Krista and I are dormmates this spring semester. 

A blessing because she's amazing company to have and I rarely find myself getting bored. That usually only happens when she's not around, Johnny is unavailable to hang out, or if I can't get in touch with my boyfriend. On the flip side, it's sometimes a curse because of the whole privacy thing.

How do you ask for space when half of your room belongs to somebody else? You can't just kick your roommate out into the street anytime you want to be alone, or in my case, kick them out into the hallway.

Krista and I had some awkward moments in the beginning, but we eventually established a few ground rules after about two weeks of living together. Though, sometimes Krista gets a little too carried away with Nyx, her girlfriend, which then puts us both in an uncomfortable position.

"Oh my God! I'm so sorry!" I exclaim after opening the door to my room, slamming it shut two seconds later. "Damn it, Krista..." I mutter under my breath as I hear her and Nyx scrambling to get dressed, giggling like me catching them fucking is some big joke I'm meant to find entertaining. "You're supposed to hang a headband on the doorknob before you two get up to no good so I know not to come in!" I bang on the door, mildly frustrated. "We've gone over this a hundred times already."

A few minutes later, Krista opens the door with a flushed face and a bright smile. She's wearing a grey tank top and sweatpants, her neck covered in old and new hickeys. I roll my eyes but smile back at her, letting her know I'm irritated but not enraged.

"Hey, honeybun! How was work this evening?" Krista asks, trying to change the subject.

"What was the point of us making rules if you never planned on following them, sweetheart?" I mock her before stepping inside. I wave at Nyx as I make my way over to my side of the room, collapsing on my twin bed and plugging my dead cell phone into its charger. "So, what are you two horndogs planning on doing for spring break besides having loads of sex in places that'll definitely get you arrested?"

Nyx laughs while straightening out her afro puffs, her brown eyes on Krista. "You know us so well." 

Krista immediately cuddles against Nyx after she returns to her bed. The two of them are so damn cute that it's sometimes nauseating to watch them together. They met this semester when school started back up and Krista told me it was basically love at first sight. They've only been dating for a few months, so she hasn't let those three words slip to Nyx, claimed their relationship is still too 'new' and that she didn't want to risk scaring Nyx off.

I told her we only live once and to just fucking go for it! If you love somebody, tell them. No need to waste time worrying about rejection and other silly what-ifs when you could literally walk outside, get hit by a car, and die. Game over. Life over.

"Nyx asked me if I wanted to take a trip with her to Florida and fuck around," Krista answers my question. "I told her I'd have to think about it because the way my bank account is set up..."

I laugh. "You wouldn't have that problem if you stopped blowing your money on Amazon and fast food. You literally have an addiction, dude. Do we need to hold an intervention for you?"

"I think that's a great idea," Nyx teases.

Krista playfully rolls her eyes. "Anyway. What about you, Mags? Do you and Sam have anything planned? Johnny told me after class the other day that he'll probably stay here and keep working. He's super fucking adamant about getting a new motorcycle."

"Which is crazy because there's nothing wrong with the one that he has now. That freak accident with his tire happened like a hundred months ago." I sigh, starting to wonder if our friend may have some form of PTSD or something. "Getting a brand new gazillion dollar bike isn't going to prevent him from having more accidents. But, to answer your question, I'm going to go home and spend time with Sam. This long-distance thing really sucks, so any opportunity that comes up where we get to be with each other in person, I take it."

"Well, have fun and don't do anything that I would do," Krista smirks, wiggling her eyebrows. "Wait. I mean definitely do all the things that I would do... like have sex."

"Babe!" Nyx squeals, playfully slapping Krista on the arm. "Get out of Mag's vagina, please."

"I'm just saying! She's about to be a twenty-two year old virgin," Krista replies, talking like I'm no longer in the room. "And believe me, I am so not trying to virgin shame or whatever, but you have to admit it's a little weird to be holding onto your v-card for this long in this day and age when you've already found your Mr. Right and neither of you has plans to wait until marriage." Krista looks back at me with a puzzled expression. "What's up with that?"

I sit up in bed, unplugging my cell phone from the charger as I prepare to head back out. "I need some air."

"Come on, Mags. You know I didn't mean anything by it!" Krista says. "I'm sorry, okay?"

"No! Because so what if Samuel is my Mr. Right? If I'm not ready to fuck him then I'm just not ready to fuck him. I really don't see how me wanting to wait until the moment feels right is any different than you waiting to tell Nyx that you're in love with her when you two are obviously soulmates," I snap. Nyx's mouth falls open and Krista blushes beet red. "She's not going to leave you because you love her, Krista. Fucking grow up and stop being a coward."

I storm out of the room and head outside to my car to cool off. Once inside, I turn on one of my favorite playlists while I text Johnny about what had just happened. He's somehow become the most reckless and the most reasonable person in our little clique. We text back and forth for a while, and eventually, I calm down and start to think clearly.

Johnny is right. Krista and I both fucked up.

Krista knows how sensitive I am regarding my virginity. It was wrong for her to bring it up and then call me weird on top of it. I was wrong for exposing her true feelings to Nyx. They're probably having a very awkward conversation right now and I can only hope that it's going well. I'll feel like absolute shit if Krista's worst fear manifests and Nyx dumps her because she's not in love with Krista, or because she's not ready to be in a relationship that serious.

"Oh, look. He finally calls back when I don't feel like talking anymore," I mumble after my phone rings, Samuel's name popping up on the screen. I decline the call and lean back in my seat, staring off into space as I try to answer the question that Krista didn't get the chance to ask me.

What the hell am I waiting for?

I've had a crush on Samuel Carpenter since middle school, and now he's my boyfriend. He's handsome, sweet, and funny. Not to mention ridiculously patient. We started talking last summer while I'd been home visiting from college. Things were great between us in the beginning, then it slowly fizzled out. I don't remember why and neither does he, but we ended up going our separate ways and doing our own thing for a while.

We didn't reconnect until about four months ago, and I haven't had any complaints. Samuel is literally the best boyfriend and an incredible kisser. We've tried to go all the way a few times, but I usually end up chickening out at the very last second. It always feels right until suddenly it doesn't. I can't explain it. It's just... a feeling. Like I'm missing something, or like he's missing something that I'm needing in the moment. I don't know. But it'll happen when it's supposed to happen, and if it never does... well, I'd rather not think about that right now.

"At this point, I'm starting to feel like you're stalking me, little buddy."

I smile at the beautiful black butterfly that lands on my windshield. The black ones are supposedly rare, which leads me to believe I'm either incredibly lucky or am starting to lose my mind because I swear this is the same butterfly that I would occasionally see flying around my parent's backyard at home. The one on my windshield has the exact same look, same size and everything. What are the odds that I've run into two different ones within the span of a few months?

Either way, the one on my windshield has found me several times since I've been on campus, even allows me to pick it up just like the one from home which is insane because, in all my twenty-one years of living on this earth, I've never been able to catch a butterfly until now. They would always fly away at the very last second, but not these last two that I've met. I can put my finger right next to them and they'll hop on every time. Safe to say they like me.

"Well, I'd love to catch up, but it's getting late and I have to go make amends with my friend." I exit the car laughing at myself. "I am literally talking to a butterfly right now. Please get help, Maggie."

My little buddy escorts me to the front of my building before flying away.

I wonder where we'll meet up next.

✨ TO BE CONTINUED ✨
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author's note: if you can't recall the significance of the butterfly (because there is one), please go back and reference Chapter 19 - The Embrace, Part 2 🥰🖤

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