as days passed my craze for him just seemed to multiply by a million .... he was almost like an addiction to me... his amazing eyes, his gorgeous smile, his dreamy hair... his tall figure... his kind and welcoming nature just hypnotized me even more...even though i wasn't completely ready to except the fact that i liked him it was kinda pleasurable to hide the those feelings... at least that's how i convinced myself...

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A MONTH LATER

my feelings for monnie had completely died well it was dying.... he was no longer the guy i had fallen for... monnie was one of the popular kids at school now, he always hung out with coolest kids in the grade the jocks and cheerleaders... even though he was pretty much the same with me and Marsha he wasn't the same... it didn't seem to bother Marsha though but it really bugged me... it was not that we had dated or something but it really bugged me.... it all started off pretty normal... by normal i mean extremely infuriating to me and normal to others...

he dated some girl called Casey he was a cheerleader not trying to reinforce the stereotype but she was a very arrogant and rich girl who thought that everything and everyone in her sight was far down below her... from that point onwards things escalated pretty quickly.... each school day started off with a rumor abt him and her.... i didn't hate him but i just wanted to stay away from him..

i distanced from him to a point where we were no longer even frnds who occasionally said hi or bye... he didn't seem to mind that much either anyways he was far too busy hanging out with him new girlfriend and friends....

i tried to ignore that but sadly i couldn't escape reality... as days passed things just fell part even more...

apart from monnie other things wasn't any better either... jess was having fever on and off lately and he was not his energetic self anymore he was always very tired... i tried to talk to my mom to take jess to the doc but she was far to busy dressing to herself to the nines.. to impress someone she rarely knew...

jess refused to even go out.. he didn't even want to over to mrs.kindles house which meant i had to keep him at home... which i did... every time i went to school i left jess in my room with a few snacks a whole bunch of toys and a cartoon marathon to keep him occupied...

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after school this afternoon i went home straight away because jess was pretty sick this morning too and i had to attend to him as fast as i could... as i entered the house it was awfully quiet... usually jess would come down straight away to sound of me unlocking the door...

i guessed he must be really tired i climbed upstairs calling jess so that he knows im home and doesn't get startled upon my entry into the room...

i entered inside jess was asleep but in a rather weird position.. i slowly walked closer to him " jess, jess honey are you okaii?" i said slowly stroking his head... making contact with his forehead i realized he was having fever and it was pretty high too because as i lifted him to upright position his was burning hot!!!

"jess!!! jess!!!" i yelled trying to wake him up... but he didn't move an inch.. he was almost like those stuffed dolls you played with.. his whole body was like jello meaning he had no control over... i began sweating intensely i called mom her line was busy... i called dad his phone was switched off...

i didn't know what to do... was i losing jess... i lifted him running outside my house on my way calling Marsha's mom who was nurse at the local hospital...

"jess are you okaii...pls be okaii" i cried my heart yearned for him to open his eyes and say Carmen IM fine....