i had to lie to the nurse that i was sick and i couldnt sit in class... so that she would send me home... i literally ran home... i didnt want to make aqquintance with anyone...

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i climbed into my bed ryt away tears pouring out of my eyes unstoppably... what had i ever done to him... why did he sat that abt me... i couldn't hate him more than this... i cried so much i had actually cried myself to sleep....

i woke feeling heavy hearted and light headed... i sat up on my bed just as everything hit me... school.. monnie... casey...

i slowly reached for my phone from across the bed... only it find a million texts from marsha... i was not really in the mood to reply to anyone.. even marsha.. just as locked my phone my eyes caught a glimpse of the tym.. it was 4:02 pm... jess was at mrs.kindles house...

i rushed downstairs after washing my face and changing into a new pair of clothes... i looked disastrous.. the main reason i changed was because i didnt want ppl to ask me.... are you okai?... have you been crying carmen?.... carmen you okai?...

i climbed downstairs to only notice the tv and air conditioner running downstairs... at first i thought it was my mom but as i climbed further down i saw jess sitting on his playmate his eyes glued to the tv screen...

"JESS?!?!" i slowly called out to him he didnt respond at all... i walked closer to wear he was sitting... i slowly bent down holding his chain to gain his attention... "jess honey! how'd you come home??"

he stared bluntly at the tv only pointing his hands towards the door which was half open.. i slowly walked out the door only to notice him on the doorstep... it was monnie he was sitting at my doorstep... i turned back to go inside the range building inside me and my tears slowly escaping my eyes...

when he grabbed me by the wrist...

"CARMEN! PLS JUST LISTEN TO ME!!! ITS ALL A HUGE RUMOUR... JUST GIVE ME A CHANCE.. CARMEN PLS I SWEAR I CAN EXPLAIN THIS..." he exclaimed trying to make me wait and listen to him...

"YES!!! ITS A RUMOUR, A FUCKING RUMOUR YOU FUCKING STARTED.. I TOLD YOU NEVER TO SEE ME AGAIN WHY ARE YOU HERE?? I DONT WANNA SAY ANYTHING MORE.. JUST LEAVE!!!" i yelled at him.. shaking my wrist free and slamming the house door ryt after...

i went back up to my room not even taking a second to think how he would have felt... the only thing i kept on thinking was how can he something like that decide to face...

i cried a lot more upto a point where i felt like i had no more tears left in me to spill out... my phone kept on ringing...dinging...blinking until i finally decide to look at what was going on... it was MARSHA...

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MARSHA : hey!!!!

hey!!! its just a rumor... pls just calm down

don't do anything stupid...

Carmen!!! why are you not replying???

Carmen pls!!! just reply... let me know your okai... i cant sit in school wondering what's with you...

Carmen!!!!

Carmen!!!!

CARMEN!!!!

fuck this im coming over?!!?!?!?!

ME : im fine....

MARSHA: ............

yea i totally believe you!!!!

what the fuck in the world took you so long to reply.... Carmen u scared the shit out of me... want me to come over???

ME: no....

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i just wasn't in the mood for doing anything... i rolled in my bed, wondering how i was gonna deal with school on Sunday... i actually felt as if the whole world had turned on me...

the doorbell rang interfering my thoughts... i didnt want to answer it... i was sure it wasn't monnie because the way i treated him before...

i reluctantly pulled myself together to walk downstairs.... i slowly opened the door... it was Mrs. Kindle...

a literal scare terrorized my stomach... i made a hundred theories... what if she knew about namjoon... what if she tells my mom... worst! what if she asks me herself............

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love you girls so much!!!

~~~ mrs.monnie