i couldn't stop crying... i cupped my hands and crying into them i thought about what a life i was leading... "losing a dad who loved us more than himself, moving in with a mother who doesn't give 2 shits about us, being this close to losing jess my only happiness" i killed myself inside for still being alive to this day to see all of this and more...

i felt a hand slowly takeover my shoulder... a hand too familiar not to recognize.... i turned around to the bearer of the shadow that cast over me... he stared ryt into my tear filled eyes which was bared my pale flushed face..

my will to stay away from him was losing... his soft pink lips gleaming in the sunlight that rushed into the room escaping the clutches of the blinds... his eyes which stared into mine for a moment i felt as if his soul had merged with mine... my will had lost big time...i leaned my head against his chest as he threw his arms around my waist affectionately....

every second he held me felt blissful... i didn't want it to end....

my phone rang...which made me let go of him and realize what i had done was very wrong.... he didn't belong to me.. what i had done was something cheap and ugly...

i turned to the bed reaching for my phone , i hoped it was mom but once again i was let down... it was Marsha's mom...

"CARMEN!!! IM STUCK IN TRAFFIC... I Don't THINK I CAN MAKE IT" she yelled over the phone but i could rarely hear her over the line she was surrounded by a million horns and ready to drive engines... "its alright!!! jess is okaii now...ill explain later" i replied before disconnecting the line..

i grabbed jess a pair of clothes which was in front before turning around to notice monnie who continued to stare at me as if i would return to him... as much as i wanted to, i didn't......

"its getting late, maybe we should get going" i said looking at the doorway instead of him... as i went passed him he replied "yea... yess" taking off behind me..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i entered Nell's only to see that jess wasn't there anymore... i became paranoid looking around for him...

"CARMEN!!! " i heard a tiny voice behind me... looking around it was jess.... he walked towards me with a packet of sour gummies in his hands followed by Nell who carried a joyful smile on his face .... for once my eyes were flooded with happy tears...

jess threw his around me as i hugged him back....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

jess was seated on the sofa enjoying the sour gummies with monnie and Nell when Nell's mom invited me inside to her room.. as i went inside she held a stack of clothes in her hand which put inside the wardrobe....

"jess is pretty upset... that's the reason why he's so sick... since he's a kid he doesn't know how to exactly spill it out thus he keeps falling sick" she said looking me... "is there something bothering you and jess you know you can tell me???" she said concernly approaching me... i felt as if i could trust her....so i told her everything... as i was done she just gave me a tight hug... whispering in my ears "its gonna be okaii"...

i left the room and joined the others in the hall... i slowly sat down beside jess as he offered me a gummy... we just watched TV when Nell's mom left the house in her white coat and doctors bag... waving goodbye to all of us....