When we reached the hostel, I was about to get down from the car..

Rajesh clasped my hands..

Mulla, Poganuma? He asked with all the love in the world..

Pinna venaama? Time aachu la? I have to go to the hostel.. And, exams vera innum 2 days la..

Padikanum la.. Go home babe, I said ruffling his hair..

He smiled and I went hopping to my room with the ecstasy that was new for me..

Until I saw appa sitting in the waiting space for me..

I was shocked..

Definitely..

He was going through a news paper...

So, why was he there?

Did he see us together?

I was so screwed..

The warden came by then and told me, Enna ma Mulla, evalo neram veliya pova nee.. Appa vandhu avlo neram vaasal la wait pannitu ipo dhan vandhu ukkarraru..

Naanum solli solli paathen ava vandhuruva.. Wait pannunga inga nu.. Kekkave illa.. Enga dhan ma pona nee?
Phone pannalum pogave illa unakku..

Andha Pavithra ponnukitta kekkalam nu paatha avalaiyum innum kaanum.. Enga ava?

She was continuously asking giving me zero space to talk..

Okay, so appa had been waiting for a long time..

And, Pavi isn't in the hostel till I left..

Those two were the major points that my mind noted..

Illa Madam, Konjam work adhan..

Irunga appa va paathutu varen..

I said and left the place..

I didn't want to stand, make some tales so that Pavi would come and totally mess up..

I didn't want to create any fiasco that day..

I went to appa..

Appa, he moved his eyes from the paper..

Vaa ma, enna ivlo neram? Veliya poirundhiyo? , he was talking to me while his eyes were oscillating between me and the clock..

I couldn't just like that lie to him..

I just asked, Neenga enna pa indha nerathula vandhurukeenga.. Sollave illa enkitta.. Sollirundha naan irundhurupen la ingaye..

Romba neram aacha pa..

Aama, amma, athai laam epdi irukaanga..

Avangalum vandhurukaangalaa..

Enna Vishayam pa..

Avanga laam enga?

I was talking continuously and I won..

Hmmm.. Adhuva ma..Athai ku dhan romba mudila.. Adhan doctor ta appointment vaangalam nu vandhen..

Phone laye vaangirkalaam.. Unga amma dhan nerla poi report laam kaamichu avanga nelamaiya solli kettutu vaanga nu sonna..

Adhan vandhen..

I had to interrupt him..

Ennachu pa athai ku.. Ipo epdi irukaanga?

My voice had all the worries in the world..

Romba mudiyala ma.. Paavam..

Mayakkam pottu pottu vizharaa..

Saptaa vayathula onnume thangala vera paavam..

Chemotherapy laam eduthutu dhan irukom..

Aana, onnum velaikku aagala..

Naal aaga aaga, katti maari valandhute iruku..

Adhan inga oru thadava kaatitu polaame nu paathom..

I was worried..

Romba mudilaya pa..

Aama ma..

Enna onnum purila.. Adhan avasarama apdiye report ah thookitu kelambi vandhaachu..

Vandha avasarathula idhe oorla dhan nee iruka, unakku oru phone pannanumnu kooda thonala ma..

Ipo dhan doctor ah paathutu avaru epo venaalum kootitu vaanga nu sonnaru..
Treatment selavu vera iruke.. Adhukkaga dhan mukkiyama paathu pesitu vandhadhu.. En friend oda poi paathu pesitu vandhom..

Avanukku konjam selvaaku adhigam.. Panam laam paathukalaam nu sollirukaanga.. Paapom.. Innum oru vaaram aagum epdiyum ellarum vara..

He said with a sigh..

I was too numb to react..

All my happiness went somewhere..

Sari ma, naan varen.. Nee paathuko.. Exam mudinjadhum kelambi vaa.. Paapom.. Inime konjam seekram vara paaru ma.. Illana phone aachum edu..

He said and left the hostel..

My heart felt so heavy..

I came to my room and called Pavi..

She picked it up immediately..

Hey enga Pavi iruka, I asked..

Naan vanten di apave.. Unga appa vaasal la ninnutu irundhaaru..

Kooda indha warden vera..
Unakku call pannen.. Not reachable.. Enna kandippa nee enga nu keppaanga.. Enna solli samaalikiradhu nu therila..

Adhan apdiye pakkathula iruka park la pori kadala sapdalame nu ukkandhuten..

Ennachu anga? Appa enna sonnaaru? ,She asked with zero breathe..

Inga vaa di modhalla nee.. Avaru kelambiyaachu.. Keezha warden ketta library ponom nu sollidu.. Naan ethume sollala avanga kitta, I said and disconnected the call..

I washed my face and changed my clothes.. I knew well that Pavi might come in next 15 minutes..

So, I called up Rajesh to inform about appa's Visit.. He was also worried about Athai's health..

Pavi came and she too had no choice other than worrying..

She knew athai for a long time..

But,we had to study as our exams were near..

Rajesh also had his semester exams so, the talks were limited..

The exams were over and I was so restless to go home..

My heart didn't feel good..

I felt that something bad was going to happen and I had booked the train that night itself and went to home along with Pavi..

A long vacation it was..

So, I felt that my mind might get that tranquility with Athai's presence..

I went home..

Just to get enquired by appa..

Yaaru ma andha paiyan was his first question..

I was stumbling to answer..

Yet, I had to..

He picked me up from the station and didn't go home directly..

We were sitting in a cafe, sipping our tea and then he threw that bomb..

I hesitated at first but told him about Rajesh..

I told him about my love for him..

He didn't tell me anything..

I might have had that satisfaction if he atleast opened his mouth for scolding..

I was so confused..

Till we reached the home..

I ran to athai and got another shocker for the day..

She became toooo thin.. Too pale.. The chemotherapy and the cancer had completely destroyed her..

My eyes were brimming and I cried uncontrollably..

She tried pacifying me..

Amma was normal..

So, I knew that appa hadn't told anything to her..

The next day, I was telling athai everything about me and Rajesh..

I had to..

I knew that the issue would take a serious turn in some few days..

So, I needed someone by my side..

Other than that, I never wanted to hide anything from athai was the main reason..

To be very honest, I was guilty for not letting her know all those days..

One year..

I said everything to her from the faber castell to Continental resort..

How everything changed personally and between us..

E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G.

I cried badly..

I didn't know why was I crying so hard..

Guilt..

Pain..

Foreseeability..

I didn't know..

She listened carefully..

And said,

"You should not cry..

You should never cry..

Tears will make you an impuissant..

Be courageous and stalwalt enough to face the life..

After all it's only one life..

We have to live, no matter what happens..

You are a paladin..

You are never a loser..

Dont ever feel bad for what happened..

Life is all about accepting the partner and everyone with their flaws..

So, keep calm and concentrate on your studies now..

Lets see what the future holds for you.."

I wiped my tears..

Inga paaru ammu, Naan nalla padichava dhan, velaiku andha kaalathula poganum nu aasa patten.. Aana nadakkala.. Enakku indha kalyana vaazhkai pathi pesa thagudhi kooda illa dhan.. Aana, kaadhal enakkum irundhuchu.. College padichapa..

Avaru college pora vazhila oru shop la... Enna vida vayasu laam kandippa adhigama dhan irukum.. Aana, avlo nerthiyaa kadai nadathuvaaru.. Ozhungu irukum kadaila.. Adhu kaadhalaa illa enna ne ipa varaikum puriyala enakku..

Paapom..
Paathute irupom.. Porapavum varappavum.. College vaazhkai mudinjudhu.. Naan veetla solli kalyanam pannen.. Adhuvum ozhunga illa.. English theriyum, Hindi theriyum, kannada theriyum, Ellam therinja enakku vaazhkkai na enna ne theriyama adhu mudinjuruchu..

Appram yaarum maru kalyanam laam pathi pesala.. Andha kaalathula adhellam romba periya vishayam.. Avlo dhairiyam laam yaarukum illa.. Padicha naanum muttala yen irundhen theriyuma? Naan oruthara unmaiya nesichirundha avaraye kalyanam pannirukanum..

Ivara kalyanam panradhukku oru second munnadi vara, he was in my eyes.. Thaali katrapa andha uruvatha eduthutu indha uruvatha manasula padhiya vaika romba kashtapaten.. Adhunala dhan enakku indha vaazhkai podhum nu nanae mudivu pannen..

Ipo thonudhu.. indha maadhiri cancer, idhellam vandhu avara kashtapadutha venaam nu dhan vidhi engala apram paakave vidalayo ennavo.. Therila.. Innum solla pona naan poi pesirundha engalukku kalyanam kooda aagi irundhurukalaam.. Yaaruku theriyum.. Enna nadakkanumo adhan nadakkum..

Adhunala edha pathiyum yosikadha..Apram ammu, idha innaal varaikum naan yaartaiyume sonnadhu illa.. Unkitta dhan solren.. Sollanum nu thonuchu..  Solliten.. Inime edha pathiyum yosikkama sandhoshama iru..

She had strained her too much it seems.. She felt the trouble to breathe..

And, just 2 days.. She left me..

She left us..

She left the world..

I was completely shattered..

The rituals took place and 30 days went by in a jiffy..

I cleaned her room on 31st day..

I was wondering how fast the time flies..

The same room..

Where she was telling her story few days back is no more..

Tears came out rolling..

I wiped them and opened the curtains..

I just noticed something and had one more shocker..

Amma and appa were also worried and just then they were talking to each other..

So, I went out for a shop and came back home in a jiffy..

I just rushed inside the room and the clock ticked hard..

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The pregnancy kit on my hand showed two dark lines...

I was SHATTERED COMPLETELY..

-Will brew..

The next update will be depending upon the response..Thank you for understanding..