This is pointless to post about, but I'll do it anyways.

I feel down, I feel useless. Like something that had a purpose but lost it long ago. I'm not depressed I don't think, but I feel low. I did have depression or maybe it went away until now. Why is it so hard to feel happy, why is it so hard to make friends? All these questions flood my mind everyday, I never get a break, just an endless loop of questions. Why can't I be smarter? Why just why am I feeling like this. I try to be optimistic, I try to be strong, but in reality, I'm extremely pessimistic and weak. I'm always painted as the villain, I'm always second choice. Why am I not valuable to people, what does it take for someone to be considered valuable? It must be something I'm lacking, maybe it's social status or even my looks? What will it take for me to finally see myself in a positive light, how much longer do I have to suffer....Forever...? Every day is some kind of battle for me, why should every day be like this? Why can't I have a break?  Because life isn't fair, that's why. And breaks are not an option for me, it's more pain. Why does everyone strive for perfection that is non existent? Why do I try to please the people who hate me, because of society. Society is painted as one thing only, "perfection." You have to be beautiful, you have to be skinny, you have to have money, you have to be straight, you have to dress like a boy if you are a boy, you have to dress like a girl if you are a girl. Society says be yourself, but in reality, it only gives us so much leeway, not enough for us to be original. And I get punished by others, since I step a tiny bit out of line.  I'm tired of this world. I'm tired of being sad, tired of apologizing for my differences, tired of being scared of what others think of me. I'm so sick of it, so I'm glad that I don't give a fuck anymore. And sometimes I'm even tired of breathing, tired of this heart beating....I wish that I could fall asleep forever....