❦-–—–-⍭-–—–-❦

"Sometimes, 

You have to let go,

They're toxic to you,

It Happens.

And sometimes,

They have to let go,

You're toxic to them,

It Happens."

⇢𝒲﹎﹎𝒯 ⎿𝟚𝟘𝟙𝟡⏋

❦-–—–-⍭-–—–-❦

Part One: 'He wanted to ask what happened,'

"Hey, Todoroki!" Deku called out to his friend joyfully.

Shouto Todoroki stopped and turned around towards the green-haired boy, showing that he acknowledged him. Izuku smiled at him, slowing down to match his pace as he caught up with his friend. The two of them had gotten through their first year at U.A. Performing Arts Academy and were entering the school to begin their second. Both of them were in the music program, but Shouto also participated in the dance program.

"Hello, Midoriya," Todoroki responded.

"How was your summer? Did you do anything exciting?" Deku asked, choosing to ignore the short answer.

"It was fine, and I didn't do much," Todoroki paused for a moment, "I did hang out with the guys a few times, though."

'The guys?' Who are 'The Guys?'

"Oh, really?" Midoriya continued smiling as Uraraka and Iida came into view, "who are the guys?"

"You know..." Shouto trailed off, "Kaminari, Kirishima, Sero... Bakugou."

"Oh," Midoriya tried not to sound bitter, "look, there's everyone else!"

"Deku! Hey!" Uraraka smiled and Iida frowned slightly as Midoriya ran towards them.

"Midoriya, you know you shouldn't run out here, it's against the rules," Iida scolded.

"Hey, Uraraka! Sorry, Iida..." Midoriya's eyes turned sheepish, "you'll never guess what I did over the summer..."

· · ·

"Hey, Icy-Hot," Bakugou greeted gruffly as he walked up to Shouto's desk, "you missed the show of a fucking lifetime last week."

"Gee, thanks Bakugou," Todoroki responded in a bored tone, "what did they do this time?"

"Played with water guns," Bakugou responded.

"So? What's so bad about that?" Todoroki asked, then it clicked, "they decided to do it with Kaminari, didn't they?"

"Yeah, seeing Kirishima and Sero spaz out was hilarious before we had to call help!" Mina Ashido joined in ask entered their space. Kirishima was close behind.

"Even I have to admit that we probably looked pretty stupid, dude," Kirishima gave his toothy grin, "but what's more manly than getting electrocuted and surviving without a scratch?!"

"Being smart enough not to anything involving water with Kaminari," Todoroki responded blandly.

Deku watched Shouto interact with Bakugou and his friends, and it bothered him how natural they looked while doing it. He was glad that Shouto was making other friends, but Shouto had been so hesitant with him and he was still quiet. Deku also supposed that it had to do with the fact that Shouto was being all buddy-buddy with his childhood bully— but that made him feel like he was being petty.

· · ·

A couple weeks had gone, everyone was settled into school, things were going great. For the most part, at least. Midoriya felt as though Shouto was beginning to not like him as much. The young male with dual-colored hair didn't always wait for him at the gate before and after school like, he didn't always walk home with him and the rest of the group like he used to, he hung out with Bakugou and his friends sometimes during school which he didn't use to.

Izuku wanted to ask "what happened?" He wanted to know what changed. He needed to know what was going on with his friend. Had he done something wrong to make Todoroki feel the need to avoid him? Was this just the way things were going to be from now on, or was there a way for Izuku to fix whatever was going on? He knew he'd be upset if him and Shouto just suddenly stopped being friends, but he was sure he was just being paranoid. It was fine that Shouto had other friends, that obviously meant that he'd hang out with them instead sometimes.

•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•

Part Two: 'Tell him he was sorry,'

Deku walked onto school campus again, just like every other school day this year. He made a point to quickly join up with his friends, which he always made sure to get to school after. Normally, or in their first, he'd meet up with Todoroki on the way there and meet up with everyone at school because walking alone was awkward; being at school alone was awkward. Now, he'd lost some of that comfort of knowing there was someone there, and he missed it.

He missed how Shouto would unintentionally warm him when it was cold, and how he would snide little comments during conversations that would be funnier than the tall teen had intended. It made Izuku feel selfish— the fact that he thought like this. Shouto was still his friend, they still talked sometimes, they still walked together sometimes, Shouto just had other friends now, which was understandable. He was a likable person once you got past his walls.

Those thoughts didn't stop Izuku from feeling like he had done something wrong, though. Shouto only spoke to him when spoken to, and Izuku noticed that his friend was beginning to avoid him. He'd turn down walking together only to walk alone— which was awkward. Shouto would turn down going to the movies with them only for them sometimes see him there by himself— which was awkward. But it was only when Izuku asked him.

Whenever Iida asked him, he accepted without a problem. On the rare occasion that just Uraraka would ask to hang out with him, Shouto accepted without any objections. If Shoji and Tokoyami asked him to go do something with him on a school night, he'd put aside his studying and ask "What time?" It was only when Izuku asked that Shouto politely turned him down. He'd mumble a quick "I'm busy," or "I'm going to go visit my mom," which was terrible because Izuku couldn't and wouldn't oppose to that.

 They used to go easy on each other. Sometimes in Phys. Ed. they'd have one-on-one games of basketball or tennis, and Shouto and Izuku would always go easy on one another. Now, Shouto went hard on him just like everyone else. Izuku understood not playing favorites, but he still never went one hundred percent Koji; he only ever went hard on Iida because the track-runner asked him to.

Whatever he did, it was killing him slowly. Not just the fact that things were changing all too quickly, but also that Izuku didn't know what he did wrong. Izuku wished he could tell him he was sorry for whatever he did, but he never really got the chance with Shouto avoiding him and all. There was also the hanging out with other people— hanging out with Bakugou and his friends, who Izuku would die before just up and approaching.

•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•

Part Three: 'Ask what he could do to make it better,'

This was the most nervewracking part of this class, and Izuku knew he was about to do something stupid. They were supposed to perform the cover of a song, accompany and all, by themselves in front of the class. You could try to write your own song for extra credit, but very few had the confidence to put their own work out there. Izuku chose to go simple and do a cover of an English song, as the hopefully future performers would need to be able to sing in English as well, preferably. 

He was doing something absolutely stupid. It wasn't unheard of for especially sappy teens to use these assignments as an opportunity to repair their relationship. Using them for friendship purposes, though? That was totally unheard of, no had done it, and Izuku was regretting being the first. What was he even thinking, directing his song at Todoroki? Was he thinking in general? I'm being a total idiot, what am I doing?

"Okay, Midoriya?" Mr. Mic called him up.

"Yes, sir..." Izuku sounded down. This was a mistake.

He made his way up to the small stage in the classroom and stood and the microphone. His teacher gave him a puzzled look, as most students opted to use the piano for this assignment. The class looked at him expectantly, and he felt blood go cold.

"I'm going to be performing a cover of the English song, 'Yesterday' by The Beatles," Izuku announced like everyone else had, "acapella."

"Okay, start whenever you're ready," Mr. Mic told him.

Izuku took a deep breath before starting, "Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away... Now it looks as though they're here to stay... Oh, I believe, in yesterday..."

The class went quiet. He sounded good, even with the obvious accent he had due to the song not being in his first language.

"Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be... There's a shadow hanging over me... Oh, yesterday, came suddenly..." Izuku continued and made sure to catch Shouto's eyes for the next verse, "Why she had to go, I don't know, she wouldn't say... I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday..."

Shouto got this look on face as if he may have suddenly understood why Izuku performed the way he did. He didn't choose the song at random, he did it acapella to put emphasis on his words, he was looking at Shouto because the song was to him, he did it in English so Shouto would actually have to think about his words. No one else seemed to get the message, but then again the message wasn't for them.

After Izuku finished, he got off the stage and went back to his seat. Todoroki volunteered to go next, and the class was shocked to find that he had gone the extra mile a couple of times over. He wrote his song and it was in English. He was being an overachiever, but then again so were some of the people he hung out with now. His song brought a strange feeling to Izuku's chest.

"I don't know what you want... Let's have a bit of fun 'til I downfall..." Shouto started.

His song was short, but the chorus hit Izuku where it hurt. It was even directed at him, but it sure felt like it was.

"You say you wanna try, but you never do... Sugar there's a reason why we lose..." Shouto's expression was unreadable as he sang the song, "You say you cry... but you never do... Sugar there's a reason why we lose..."

After he was done, Izuku was suddenly overcome by this indescribable guilt. He couldn't quite pinpoint where it came from, but he felt the need to apologize for something. He figured that something had to with Shouto. He still didn't know what he had done or said, but it bothered him. It had been months and his feelings on the matter were still the same. He longed to ask what he could do to make it better, if there was a way he could change what was happening between them.

•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•

Part Four: 'If there was anything he could do at all,'

"Hey, Deku," Uraraka called his name with a soft smile, "you seem like you've been down lately. What's going on?"

"Oh, nothing much," Izuku dismissed, "I guess I feel like I'm losing one of my friends, but it's not happening overnight as it would normally."

"Who?" Uraraka asked. Of course, she didn't notice...

"No one you need to worry about, really," Izuku smiled at her, "we should catch up with Iida."

"It's Todoroki, isn't it?" Tsuyu questioned, standing next to the brunette, "I've noticed that you two don't really hang out anymore."

"Wow, you sure have a talent for reading people, Tsu," Izuku gave her a sheepish look.

"Not really... you've just been less secretive about it lately," Tsuyu told him, "speaking of which, what happened? Did you two fight?"

"I don't think so..." Izuku trailed, looking down slightly, "can we talk about this some other time? Iida's waiting and I'm starved."

The girls gave him a knowing look before agreeing. This was the only bad thing they could think of the teen as far as Izuku, he always avoided the stuff that he actually found important. It made a little more agreeable, but it made him a lot less honest with himself. It also blinded him to when things were actually seriously wrong.

The group walked down the hallway only to be met with an unfamiliar sight— a sight they were never the cause of. Todoroki was talking up a storm with Kirishima and Kaminari, not just sending out tiny, snide comments here and there like he did with the others. After seeing that, Tsuyu felt happy for him, and so did Uraraka, but they understood where Izuku's bitter feelings were surfacing from. 

----------

"Hey, Todoroki," Izuku said the other's name aloud while he was alone in his dorm. It felt foreign to him, it had been so long since he'd said it. He knew Shouto couldn't hear him, and yet he continued talking, "what did I do to upset you? Why are you making this so hard..? If had just left one day instead of holding on, then... Then this would be easier."

The freckled teen went silent as he heard two other males pass his door in the male dorms. He recognized their voices immediately. The hint of laughter in one along with the gruff tone of the other was a telltale sign of who happened to be out right before curfew. Izuku assumed the two friends had decided to go work out before bed, which they did on a normal basis.

"So, it seems like you don't hate Todoroki as much, huh?" the first voice said with a tinge of laughter in it, Kirishima, "you only told him to go die twice today!"

"Ugh, stupid shitty hair," the other voice, which was rough and had to be Bakugou Katsuki responded, "he's not that bad, I'll give him that."

Izuku felt himself shrivel, almost. So they are friends, huh?

He hated how selfish he felt for feeling bad that Shouto was hanging out with other people more. But then again, was it wrong of him to miss being around one of his friends? He had at least gotten used to Bakugou not being his friends over the years, that had ended abruptly and had given him time to get over it. This though— this wasn't the same. Shouto still hung out with him, Iida, and the girls sometimes, he still acted like he wanted to be around them. Them being Iida, Uraraka, and Tsuya. He still made a point to avoid Izuku. Even more so after that fiasco in Mr. Mic's class two weeks ago.

He turned shut his lamp off and turned toward the wall he couldn't see. If only real life was like this. There was something there, you knew it was, but you didn't have to look at it or acknowledge it. You could just leave it be. This particular thought process gave him comfort until his eyes adjusted and he did have to look at the wall— he did have to look at and face his problems.

· · ·

"Hey, Todoroki," Izuku asked as he made his way beside the taller boy, is there anything I can do? "Is there anything I can do?"

Crap, Izuku thought. He wasn't supposed to say that out loud. His intentions were to ask to hang out this weekend, and if he responded "no" then Izuku would be more content and allow their friendship to just fade at this point. He mentally cursed himself for being an idiot. He was putting too much thought into this. Goddamnit.

"What?" Shouto responded cluelessly, "I don't follow."

"Sorry!" Izuku apologized quickly, further confusing the taller of the two, "I was thinking of something else. I meant to ask whether or not you wanted to hang out this weekend. So?"

"Hmm," Shouto hummed, as of thinking, "I don't have any plans, so sure."

Dang it, now it's only going to get harder to let this go. Izuku felt like Todoroki was just leading him on at this point. He knew better than to believe it, but he sure as hell wished he could. The truth was, Izuku only half wanted to hang out with Shouto this weekend. He really wanted to know whether or not this, their friendship was truly over. If it was, which he assumed it to be at this point, then perhaps he could begin to cope and let go. I didn't have a backup plan if this was the outcome.

· · ·

"Izuku, sweetie! Your friend is at the door!" Izuku's mother shouted from the kitchen of their apartment.

"I'll get it!" Izuku answered, anticipating what was to happen next. 

For the purpose of staying out of his mother's hair, Izuku planned for Todoroki and himself to go to the pier. There were rides and games, so they'd have plenty of fun and enjoy themselves. That's what he told himself, at least. The real reason he chose the pier was that of the lines. They were long and felt slow and they'd have plenty of time to talk. Plus, there was the taxi ride to and from. If they went on the Ferris wheel then they'd almost have to talk on that for it not to be overly awkward.

"Hey, Todoroki," Izuku smiled softly as he opened the door and stepped out.

"Sup," Todoroki responded; Izuku had to keep himself from freezing.

Since when does he ever say "sup?"

"You ready for the pier?" Izuku asked, slipping one of his hands in his pockets.

"Yeah, let's go," Todoroki replied. He didn't smile as he does with them.

---

When they arrived at the pier, the first thing they got in line for was one of the rollercoasters. The line was the shortest and both of them seemed to want to try it out, even if one kept his excitement more bottled up than the other. When they finally got in the rollercoaster-car, Izuku couldn't help the tiny bit of fear that bubbled in his chest. That's a long drop...

Shouto looked down at the drop once they got to the top, and he had this look in his eyes that was totally unfamiliar to Izuku. Was it adventurousness, perhaps? Izuku couldn't quite put his finger on it, but the way Shouto's face lit up made him think that something was up. This was the first time he had ever seen anything like it, and he was glad that Shouto was showing this side of him— but suddenly Izuku felt bitter. I bet Kacchan has seen this face before, maybe some others as well.

---

Even when the two teenage boys parted ways, Izuku still had a bitter taste plaguing his throat from his earlier thought. So what if Kacchan had seen Shouto express himself? That doesn't mean anything.

"Bye, Todoroki! See you at school!" Izuku put on a grin despite his petulant feelings that he tried to lodge deep down inside himself.

"Yeah," Shouto responded, "see you later."

Izuku began to walk towards his apartment complex from the curb. He was starting to have a hard time holding up his facade and he needed to come up with an excuse to tell his mother. He couldn't say that the time he spent with Shouto today ended up being a bust— he'd actually had a great time. He also didn't really want to tell his mother his current dilemma. It was a problem that most likely wasn't truly there and he was making a big deal out of nothing.

"Oh, and Midoriya," Todoroki called out, causing Izuku to turn towards him.

"Yeah?" Izuku responded.

"Today was fun, we should hang out more often," Shouto gave him this ghost of a smile that made Izuku feel great and utterly bilious at the same time. If there was anything he could do at all to remove that picture from his mind (or make it appear in real life more often), he would do it in a heartbeat. 

Stop playing with me...

•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•

Part Five: 'But as he watched him laugh,'

"Midoriya, do you have any plans for this weekend?" Iida questioned his friend.

"No, why?" Izuku responded, giving the taller male a smile.

"Todoroki is performing at the town square on Saturday with a couple other people," Iida informed him, "I was thinking we should stop by and see."

"Oh, okay," Izuku tried not to sound sour. So Todoroki told you and not me, huh? "sure! I can't wait!"

"Great, well, I have to go, but I'll you later Midoriya," Iida smiled as he got a call and had to answer it. Izuku frowned behind him, but Iida didn't need to know that. 

Izuku started to make his way away from his locker and to the road home when he heard some familiar voices. He didn't wish to eavesdrop, he only had the intentions of saying "Hi—" but when he recognized the tones... Well... he couldn't bring himself to go any further.

"What song should we perform?" Kirishima asked joyfully, probably giving a wide toothy grin.

"I don't know..." Todoroki responded. 

"American music has been popular lately," Kaminari suggested.

"That's a great idea! I have so many songs in mind!" Mina exclaimed.

"We're not fucking singing 'Can't Stop The Feeling,'" Bakugou grumbled.

"Yeah, Mina, let's not do that," Kaminari agreed.

"How does 'Guillotine' by Jon Bellion sound?" Sero asked, "if we want to be extra then we could incorporate 'I Don't Know' into the mix."

"Wow, I didn't think you knew big words like 'incorporate,' Sero," Todoroki teased lightly.

"Okay, rude," Sero grinned.

"Queen's been a thing lately, how about that?" Bakugou suggested, "we can do more than one."

"Yeah, but Sero writes all these things, so he should decide," Todoroki said.

"I'm down," Sero grinned.

"I think that's a great idea!" Kirishima shouted. Mina said something similar.

---

Izuku met up with Iida at the town square, an only partially fake smile on his face. It turns out that Mina's parents wanted her to visit them over the weekend, so she wouldn't be performing with the others. Izuku was excited to see what the group had come up with, but at the same time, he kind of wished that Shouto had wanted to do something like this with him and his other friends.

"Oh, is that Uraraka?" Iida asked, pointing towards the friendly brunette.

"I think so!" Izuku replied joyfully, "I can't really tell, but I think she's with Hagakure."

"Now that you point it out, I think she is," Iida inquired, "we should go say hi. It's only polite to acknowledge that we've seen them."

"Sure," Izuku smiled as the two started to walk towards the other two second years.

"Hello Uraraka, Hagakure," Iida greeted.

"Hey," Izuku smiled.

"Hi, guys!" Hagakure waved, she was probably smiling.

"Oh, hey!" Uraraka definitely did smile, "it's nice to run into you guys here! Are you also going to see the guys?"

"I guess, yeah," Izuku grinned and Uraraka's almost fell. She was the only one that had caught on to Izuku's feelings in the slightest bit the past few months.

"Great! Then let's go together!" Hagakura suggested, "I think they managed to get the center of the square!"

"Wow, really?" Iida wondered with interest, "that must have been a challenge."

"Let's get going, we wouldn't want to miss anything!" Uraraka urged, starting to walk.

The other three followed behind her. Three of the teens made small talk, joking and talking about what was going on at school lately. How Mineta got suspended for a week, how Todoroki's English original 'Yesterday' was getting a lot of attention on the web, and how there were rumors of Mr. Might retiring after their third year. Izuku acted like he was listening and added a few comments, but other than that he was pretty quiet. Not that anyone other than Uraraka noticed.

Hagakure pushed her way to the front, making a path for the other three. In the center of the square were their classmates finishing setting up their equipment before they began. No one other than the four teens watching really knew what they were doing, but some U.A. Performing Arts Academy students were well known and easily recognized. Especially this group that had several unique appearances in it.

"Guys! Guys! Over here!" Hagakure and Uraraka yelled, trying to get the attention of their friends. 

Shouto looked up for a second, thinking he recognized the voices, but when he couldn't find the origin of them he went back to what he was doing. 

"That should be all..." Sero muttered, accounting for everything they needed being set up.

"Great, can we just start now?" Bakugou grumbled.

"Yeah, let's get this show on the road!" Kirishima smiled.

"That's so cringe worthy, never say that again," Kaminari sighed with a small hint of joking to his voice, "but yeah."

"Okay, so which song  should we do first?" Todoroki asked.

"Let's do Sero's mash-up of Queen's hits first," Kaminari answered. Everyone agreed and they began, almost immediately catching the hearts and eyes of the crowd.

https://youtu.be/IBVg1rFQfUE

(Ignore everything after 2:50! Sorry I couldn't cut it out!)

After it was over, Izuku was amazed. They must work truly well together if this was their result. He had heard them only brainstorming two days prior, plus Mina had pulled out at the last second. Izuku couldn't imagine how hard they must have worked or how perfect they function with each other. The green-haired teen wished he could work like that with people.

After they finished the song, Izuku saw a sight totally foreign to him. Shouto was laughing with the others, letting out an almost unheard-of sound that was so bight it was insane. Izuku felt that he should have been happy for his friend, if he could still call him that. The only problem was that Izuku was starting to get that their friendship had been more forced than anything. If that was the case, though, why would Shouto ask to hang out with him?

With that thought, Izuku suddenly found it hard to be as sour as he had been for the past few weeks. He wanted to keep being mad at Shouto, but as he watched him laugh, watched him be truly happy with the others— he couldn't do it. He just could no longer bring himself to feel the way he did less than thirty seconds ago.

ʥܰݥܰݥܰݥܰݥܰݥܰݥܰݥܰݥܰݥ

Part Six: 'Watched him smile,'

Izuku was normally all for any type of athleticism he could get, but he wasn't exactly in the mood today. He felt like Shouto was playing with his mind and self at this point. It had been a while since Shouto and the others' little performance at the town square, and Izuku was still not over his false little sense of sickening hope. That hope that it was over, that he could move on, that Shouto was done with him— only for Shouto to ask him to show up to his next one alone and support him. First, he was ignoring him, pushing him away, and now he's pulling him back in every time before Izuku could pull away.

He continued jogging around the track, having long since given up keeping up with Iida. Most of the time he'd speed up or slow down to meet up with his other friends, but today he just jogged alone. Today there wouldn't be any special games of sports. It was just a track day, and Izuku truly wished that it wasn't. This gave him too much time to think and brood over his basically nonexistent problems. 

He was behind of one of his assignments. One of the things he was supposed to do this year was perform three times at any public place. You could even do it at a school if the school you're visiting would allow you to do so. He'd only gotten one of his things done, meanwhile, several others were attempting to book something large for their third. He needed to get started on that instead of worrying about his petty, personal problems— the ones that still might not even be there. 

He picked his head up and went faster. He needed to distract himself from his mind's stupid whining. There was no way he should let this bring him down, whatever this was. This could be so many different things. This could be Izuku's wanting to hold on to what was left of their friendship. This could also be him wanting to just forget what he wanted to keep. For all he knew, this could be what he did to start this mess that really only seemed to be effecting him. 

Izuku continued to speed up, much to the concern of his Physical. Ed, teacher, Mr. Might. He'd seen students improve, but he knew Izuku was pushing himself a bit too hard. The last thing he needed or wanted was for a student to pass out on him or something. Izuku continued his pace, which was definitely faster than any jog at this point. The freckled teen thought he could keep going, but he eventually came upon two people he didn't exactly want to deal with right now. 

Shouto was jogging ahead of his other friends, being right beside Bakugou the whole time. Izuku couldn't even try to make out what they were saying as his mouth went dry. Whatever they were discussing had Shouto grinning so bright that Izuku genuinely thought he may go blind for a moment. So much for thinking of other things like class assignments.

Uraraka watched from afar, extremely concerned, but she knew not to tell him that. Izuku would never get angry like Bakugou, but Izuku was just as stubborn as his blond childhood friend, if not even more. Telling him would only make him try to build his new-forming walls up higher. So, Uraraka kept to herself.

Izuku felt eyes on him, but chose to ignore them. Why would anyone spend time watching me, anyway? Especially when Todoroki and Kacchan are in their line of sight as well...

Izuku slowed his jog staying a bit behind the two others in front of him. He still needed to know what was going on. He wanted to know if it was his fault. If there was anything he could do, but as he watched him beam happily, Izuku fell back behind them. He needed this, whatever this was. Whatever was currently keeping him sane while he was blatantly being played with. Then it hit him— maybe, just maybe— this could be distance.

•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•

Part Seven: 'Watched him look so much happier than he ever did with him-'

It was finally winter break, and Izuku never thought he'd say this, but he hated it so much. There was nothing to do, not to mention that this basically forced him to take an opportunity to check off his second performance. He had been asked to perform at some girl's sweet sixteen, which happily accepted. He didn't know this family, but he was just performing— and as far as school went, credit was credit as long as you received it. 

Izuku currently stood on the small stage at the girl's party. He was simply going to do an introduction, dedication, and start. He'd been given all the information he'd need by the girl's father. She didn't know anyone was coming to do this, and she didn't know that he had been instructed to sing her favorite song first.

When all eyes were finally on him, he saw a girl about his age with a small tiara and nice dress standing with the man who hired him to be here. He assumed that was the birthday girl called 'Risa Yamazaki.' He made a point to smile softly at her. The girl's eyes lit up, the dots starting to connect.

"Hey, everyone," Izuku started, smiling kindly at everyone, "I'm Izuku Midoriya from the U.A. Performing Arts Academy, it's nice to meet you all! I'm going to perform some singles for the lovely Miss Yamazaki. Happy birthday!"

When Izuku started, the girl had tears in her eyes. Izuku almost did too, actually. It wasn't until he was performing it that he begun to really feel and understand the lyrics. 

'Lie, lie, lie— Lie, l-lie, I try to hide, but now you know it... That I'm at an all time low, low, low, low, low...'

As he continued to sing, he was reminded endlessly of his old, bitter feelings. All he could think about was how he was basically forced to recall how he watched him look so much happier than he ever did with him. That said, he kept up his perfect facade, his perfect performance, and his perfect smile. He kept everything bottled up and gave this Risa chick the best birthday she could ever wish for.

•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•

Part Eight: 'He saw all too clearly that is was,'

Izuku had decided to keep to himself after the performance- to an extent. He still spoke to his friends and all, but he hadn't made any attempt to hang out with anyone or do anything outside of school. He especially didn't try to connect with Shouto over that time.

Uraraka was fed up with whatever was bothering her friend. She'd known something was bothering him, but she couldn't put her finger on it. Whatever it was, it was putting the green-haired male off and that upset. She looked up to Izuku, and seeing him look so low really put a damper on her and her improvement. 

"Midoriya," Uraraka called, "are you alright? You've been acting strange lately."

 "Hmm?" Izuku hummed as if he didn't quite understand the question at first, "oh, I'm fine, just tired."

Uraraka knew he was lying, but if it was that bad then maybe she should leave it be after all, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Izuku fibbed, "I should go to bed earlier today."

"Whatever you say," Uraraka sighed sadly, "get some rest later."

Izuku's chest stung and his lungs felt tight as Uraraka walked away. He knew that she knew him better than that. She knew he was lying to her face, straight through his teeth, and he knew that she knew this. Watching Uraraka walk away made him wonder if perhaps she was giving up on him. He couldn't blame her if she was. She looked up to him, spoke to him, was his friend— the whole shebang. In return, he shined and didn't pay her enough attention, he ran ahead and left her scrambling behind him; she tried to keep him happy and to return the favor he just blew it off and chased after someone else.

Izuku looked across the room, his green eyes meeting with the back of Shouto's head. He couldn't see his face, but he could see the unsteady shake of Shouto's shoulders, the way his visible cheek pulled up and back, and he could hear the bubbly sound leaving his mouth. Izuku knew Shouto was laughing and smiling. Izuku couldn't even bring himself to be angry anymore. He hadn't excepted it yet, but he wasn't angry at the fact that they were drifting farther each moment. 

Izuku rested his head on his crossed arms on this desk. He turned toward the window, where no one would see his face unless they were searching for it in the reflection. The freckled teen let a bittersweet smile slide onto his face as he closed his eyes. It was too loud to even hope for a nap, so he'd settle how just having his eyes closed. At this point, he saw all too clearly that it was beyond his control what happened at this point.

•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•

Part Nine: 'In fact,'

Izuku loved and hated this day so much. It was the day of the talent show, and it was obvious that everyone was stoked. How it works was that everyone had to be involved in an act of some sort. Some were in groups and others were just by themselves. Over the course of a week, everyone showed their act to their main performing arts teacher, and the best act from each class would be in the talent show. 

The reason he didn't want to do it this year was that Shouto was in his main performing arts class— vocal studies. What if Shouto won and Izuku ended up not liking him? What if Izuku won and Shouto found that the last reason he needed to stop being friends? This made Izuku feel sick to his stomach.

---

It turned out that Shouto chose to do a dance for his act. Izuku had completely thought that Shouto was one of the students who had more than one performing art. Izuku had only really seen Shouto dance once, so he had no idea what the taller of the two was going for. He could do hip-hop, ballet, Izuku had seen him while he was teaching someone how to tango, so he could do that too. 

Izuku had been given the honor to represent his class in the talent show, which surprised him quite a bit. Apparently, he had good expression and his voice had matured and become enchanting as of late. Whatever the reason was, this was big at their school and he couldn't back out. The talent show here was like sports finals for schools known for their athletics. There was no way he'd ever hear the end of it if he tried to get out of performing.

When he had finished his little audition, a couple of people had this look in their eyes. He knew what the look meant, but he didn't want them to ask. The song he had chosen had light and airy background music and sadder lyrics. That's what people had told him, but then again, that's what most of the things he sang sounded like. Nice, happy music with not so happy words. Those songs were him written on the page at the moment— trying to be happy, but in reality that wasn't one hundred percent the case. In fact, he hadn't been one hundred percent happy in a while.

•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•

Part Ten: 'A Little Too Late'

Here he was, going out to perform out in front of a huge audience that was more than students, parents, and teachers. No one going on had any idea what the other people and groups were doing, but that just added to the element of surprise. The element of surprise just made Izuku nervous, in reality. He wasn't too keen on surprises, they just made him upset.

The person before him, a purple haired boy who was extremely short went on. He actually didn't depend on a performing arts course for his performance. He did various magic tricks, his most amazing one being that it looked like he could take his hair off in balls and have it immediately grow back. Normally magic depended on the angle, but even from behind Izuku could tell that it was fake. That kid was going places. Now it was Shouto's group's turn, and Izuku couldn't wait to see what they were doing.

Wait... Group?

Izuku hadn't heard a thing about Shouto performing with other people, so the announcement surprised him. He was actually hoping to wish Shouto luck before he went on, but he noticed that he let the chance slip through his fingers as he saw Bakugou walk on to the stage with Shouto following. Mina, Sero, Kaminari, and Kirishima also walked on with them, all of them grinning and looking excited to show what they had to give. Now that Izuku actually saw who Shouto was going with, he wasn't even surprised. 

There was a television in the back where everyone was waiting, and the room got quiet for the first time that night when they saw who was performing. Everyone seemed to like at least one person from the performing group, and in turn, they all showed respect and watched quietly for the most part. It was a little boring to watch them get into formation, but after that, Izuku's jaw basically dropped.

Bakugou started it out with a short solo, which didn't surprise Izuku all the much. What got his attention was that when the whole group got to it, he realized that there was a lot Shouto could do that he had no idea about. Like how he just did a back-flip like it was natural– like he was just walking. Izuku couldn't believe that he'd never seen this. Tricks like this weren't one week things— Shouto had to have been doing it for a long time without him knowing. 

Izuku watched in a daze for the next few minutes, just as amazed as the other audience members. He felt stupid almost, doing this, it was stupid. He shouldn't be gawking at something that he's seen several people do. Maybe it was just the fact that the person he thought he was close didn't even mention being able to do things like that.

Sooner than he felt it had happened, Shouto and the others walked off the stage with huge smiles on their faces. Even Bakugou looked genuinely happy with their performance; that just made Izuku feel worse. He'd never made Bakugou happy when they little, but then here comes Shouto Todoroki, quietly ditching him and making Bakugou's day. Izuku needed a break from his thoughts. It's not actually that big of a deal.

Izuku sighed and grabbed his keyboard, knowing that he was going to be next to go on. As he waited to be announced, he noticed Uraraka walking up to him. Izuku had totally forgotten that his friend was performing right after him. Now that he'd actually thought of it, he hadn't really noticed Uraraka at all this year. He didn't think he was ignoring her, but he was too caught up in his own problems to notice her trying to be there for him.

Now that he realized this, he wanted to apologize, but he'd realized his mistake a little too late. He was getting called on to perform and he'd had the chance to say nothing because Uraraka didn't give him the chance to speak before he walked on.

"Good luck!" Uraraka smiled and playfully pushed him forward, telling him to go perform his piece.

Izuku wanted to frown, but he knew that would deplete his chances of winning. So, instead, he put on his best fake smile and went on. He made sure to give the judges a charming, yet slightly nervous. He'd learned in his first year that that always captured people hearts and attention. Fake it 'till you make it, he'd been told over and over again by teachers and friends.

He set up his keyboard quickly and grabbed the chair at the back of the stage and pulled it up. One of the stage crew members moved the microphone towards him. Izuku thanked him as the stranger walked off the stage. He sat down and sighed before he played a couple chords on the keyboard. He looked out at the crowd before singing, and lo-and-behold, there was the girl he had sung to before, looking right back at him from the third row. That made him a tiny bit less nervous, so he "sang to her."

"I wonder why I get paranoid when I'm high, I wonder why I say yes to everyone in my life," Izuku started, not breaking eye contact with the girl from before, Risa Yamazaki? "I wonder why I can't that fast in my dreams..."

He continued; Izuku glanced at the judges for a moment, and he felt that he could almost see in their eyes that they knew he had chosen this song for a reason.

"I wonder why I feel emptiness and I sing these blues," Izuku sang, once again capturing the hearts of the crowd, "I wonder why I feel hopelessness when I watch the news... I wonder why I can't find my voice—— In my dreams..."

Izuku sang like there was no tomorrow, and he was hit with this strange sensation— like he couldn't even hear himself. He couldn't hear the slight chatter of the crowd, he couldn't hear the whispers of the judges, and he definitely couldn't hear Uraraka or Risa Yamazaki cheering him on from two different places.

"Although I guess if I knew tomorrow, I guess I wouldn't need faith," Izuku was starting to feel the lyrics now, and he had to keep himself looking positive so it wouldn't get to him, "I guess if I never fell, I guess I wouldn't need grace..."

Izuku continued on, looking happy to be on stage and glad to be in front of those judges. He was doing just what he had been told, but it was never as hard as it had been in this moment. 'Fake it 'till you make it.'

"I guess if I knew His plans, I guess he wouldn't be God..." Izuku went on singing until the end, where he'd never forget seeing one of the judges in tears, "Maybe I don't know, maybe I don't know... But maybe that's okay."

The judges wouldn't show the scores until the end, so Izuku packed up his things and walked off the stage after he received a few compliments from the people watching. He gave them a polite smile and returned to back-stage, where Uraraka was the first to hug him and tell him 'how great he did out there.' Izuku hugged her back and told her that he wished her good luck and the works. He playfully said to break a leg, and Uraraka grinned at him as she went on stage. 

Izuku sat down, not really planning to watch Uraraka on the small television on the wall. Instead, he'd just listen and relish in the sound. That was what he'd planned, at least, Uraraka went on and stood at her microphone and started singing and Izuku felt horrible because he understood the lyrics far too much.

"I would have walked through fire to kiss your lips, do you still think about it, of what you did?" Uraraka started, and Izuku missed the next few words, "Hard and heavy whiskey goodbyes, boy, you know how to make a girl cry..."

Uraraka's voice was electric and beautiful, but the song was strangely toxic. Not for her, for her it was probably relieving, but for him. 

"You only seemed tall, 'cause you stunted my grow-grow-growth," Uraraka sang, "I only wanted you 'cause I couldn't have you, now that I know..."

Once again Izuku totally missed the words as he tried to drown himself in the happy sounding music. He didn't want to listen to words, and he hated that he knew that Uraraka wanted him to. 

"That wasn't love, that wasn't love, that was just hope," Uraraka looked out at the crowd, as if trying to find a face to focus on, and Izuku basically blanked out until the end of the song, "that wasn't love, that wasn't love, that was just hope..."

Uraraka walked off the stage and joined up with Iida. Izuku did the same, figuring he should congradulate his friends and wish them luck on winning. Wishing others luck on getting first place was a strange thing. It was polite and everyone did it, but deep down no one wanted that person to win. They wanted to win themselves, represent their class, the works. Having someone else do it for a class you're not in would take away from you. 

The next person went on. She was a guitarist that Izuku hadn't actually spoken to since their first year. He immediately remembered her to be called Jiiro. He made eye contact with her the moment before she went on, and he gave her a thumbs up. 

Jiiro performed, she did great like everyone else did, a few more groups and/or people went, and then it was time to name the scores. Everyone got on the stage, friends standing near friends and groups huddled together, all with hopeful looks. They went over several groups, congradulating them for doing so well, even though they didn't place. Izuku's nervousness betrayed him and just turned into thoughts of the two year leading up to this point.

Izuku remembered practically dragging Shouto partially out of his shell in their first year. He remembered them becoming friends. He recalled them hanging out with and without their other friends. He remembered how they performed a number together in the talent show that year, and he recalled them not placing (it's very rare for a first year to place in this competition). Izuku remembered how he always did most of the talking, and he remembered how Shouto always listened attentively.

He remembered when they said "see you later" on the last day of school, and he remembered how they didn't hang out at all over the summer. He remembered the first day of their second year, how Shouto ended up talking to Bakugou more than him. He remembered hearing how Shouto was going to perform with his other friends. He recalled seeing them laughing and smiling like Shouto never did with him. He remembered seeing Shouto talk to them like there was no tomorrow. 

He could still picture flawlessly the two of them going to the pier. He remembered seeing Shouto excited in front of him, but not because of him. He remembered his friend saying that they should hang out more often, and he remembered them never doing that. He remembered when Shouto stopped sitting with him at lunch. He recalled when Shouto had basically begun to ignore him. He remembered when pettily decided to ignore Shouto back.

He remembered how he forgot to be angry at Shouto, and he remembered feeling like he was being played with. He remembered how he basically ignored some of his friends because of it. He remembered Uraraka noticing, and he remembered her blowing her off. He remembered lying, and he remembered knowing that she knew that he was lying through his teeth. 

He recalled how even when they were at the pier, Izuku did most of the talking between them. He remembered how Shouto had actually told a few others who he was performing with. Izuku remembered how Shouto didn't tell him. Izuku remembered feeling hurt and indifferent and sad and so many other things. He remembered how when he was talking to Shouto, the taller teen never reacted as he did with his other friends. Izuku remembered how he always did all the talking.

Izuku remembered basically forcing Shouto to be his friend. He remembered bombarding him at lunch and they ended up sitting together. He remembered never questioning if Shouto ever really wanted to be his friend in the first place. He remembered telling his mom that Shouto wasn't exactly the kind of person he would be friends, but Shouto was nice. He remembered acknowledging that their friendship was one-sided from the beginning.

He remembered it all now; why his brain chose now to bring this to his attention was beyond him. Izuku suddenly realized what he did wrong. The green haired teen realized what he could have done to fix it. He realized the many things he could have done. He knew all too quickly how and when it all happened. He knew how to make it better and he wanted to so badly- 

"Finally," one of the judges smiled brightly, "the group that wins first place is the dance group, Quirk!"

But as he watched Shouto jump and yell and laugh and almost cry with everyone else in his group, including Bakugou, he knew that he'd missed his chance. He'd spent his first building it up, and he'd spent the past year just messing around. As Izuku saw Shouto so much happier with them, as he heard them calling each other by their first names like he never could— as Izuku heard them celebrate and Mina and Kirishima call him "Shou," several devasting thoughts came to his mind.

Todoroki moved on.

Todoroki doesn't care.

This is my fault.

I did this.

He doesn't really want to fix this.

I do.

I'm a little too late.

•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•‹∞›•

Songs (In Order of Appearance):

Yesterday - The Beatles

Why We Lose - Cartoon

Guillotine - Jon Bellion

Maybe IDK - Jon Bellion

Queen Medley - Anthem Lights

All Time Low - Jon Bellion

Hope - The Chainsmokers 

❦-–—–-⍭-–—–-❦

"It's a little too late,

I'm a little too gone,

A little too tired of just hanging on."

-𝔸nonymous/𝕌nknown

❦-–—–-⍭-–—–-❦

⎨𝟠𝟠𝟘𝟙 𝕎𝟘ℝ𝔻𝕊⎬