A LITTLE TOO LATE

Shot 3

written by : KuluGuluTimes

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Both faces were fully flushed. Ashwin took his time to take in Sivaangi's form ignoring the knock. She inhaled and exhaled while her gaze was fixed low, not ready to meet his. Her messed hair, pink face, plump lips, shy smile, and just the way she was breathing was doing things to him.

He wanted more.

He pushed her slowly to lay on her back and kissed her forehead before moving on her nose and cheeks. Sivaangi couldn't push him away. She would be lying if she said she never desired him. She never knew if she could ever reveal it probably because she never knew he would desire her;

His best friend.

It was the night before his wedding, technically he was still someone's boyfriend and fiance even though he wasn't so sure about it and he just said his heart belonged to her. What was he even thinking?

Alarms kept ringing in her head as his fingers squeezed her waist while a bunch of insects erupted in her stomach when she felt his lips and teeth on her neck. It was such a nutty situation which she invited upon her, which wasn't in the agenda when she planned to give him the holy thread.

She was about to give in and roll over on top of him to kiss him all over his face when the door was knocked again, a few times. "Yaarunu pakalam" Sivaangi got off the bed and walked towards the door. Ashwin cursed whoever was on the other side of the door and followed her. "Nee iruma nan open pandren" She adjusted her hair and dress before he opened the door to find Pugazh.

As soon as Pugazh's eyes landed on Sivaangi, he asked "Inga enna pandra?" eventhough he wasn't surprised to find her there. In fact he came to Ashwin's room straight when she was nowhere to be found in her room.

She casually lifted Ashwin's hand "Ivaruku saami kaiyuru katte vanthen ne"

"Katittalla?" his voice was stern enough for both Ashwin and Sivaangi to understand he wasn't very fond of seeing her there.

"Ahn" she answered anyway, swaying her head, masking her discomfort.

"Kelambu.. un room ku po" he said in an almost chiding tone.

A pang of uncertainty and guilt hit Sivaangi as she looked into her brother's eyes that were filled with austere, dislike and concern. She wished the ground would swallow her at the moment, instantly regretted everything that happened minutes ago and cursed herself for coming into his room in the first place. When she heard knocks on the door, she prayed it should be anyone but Sahana, but she just realised what's worse. She lowered her head and quickly walked out without sparing a glance for either man.

Pugazh panned along the way Sivaangi went and waited till she was out of sight before turning to glare at Ashwin. "Yean da apdi pakura?" Ashwin asked, genuinely confused.

"Avathan vantha na, nee edhuku da ulla vidra? Vasal ninu pesi anupa vendiyathana?"

"Yean da anupanum?"

Pugazh was starting to get annoyed at his best friend's ignorance. He wondered if Ashwin was truly that innocent or he was pretending.

"Edhuka? Unaku vidinja kalyanam da! Intha nerathula sivu un room la iruntha ellarum ena nenapanga?"

It's Ashwin's turn to feel annoyed. Pugazh was acting weird all of a sudden. He wondered when people's opinion about them started to affect Pugazh.

"Yaru enna nenacha enna?"

Pugazh didn't know either. This wasn't the first time he saw Ashwin and Sivaangi in a room. Ashwin has helped with Sivaangi's exam preparations for many nights in her room. Even Though she had no knowledge, Sivaangi has accompanied Ashwin during his preparations in his room.

There was a time in college, all the seniors and juniors settled all over the concert hall during organising a huge charity event. Leaving all the tiny spaces left, Sivaangi looked for where Ashwin was lying, and layed in the small space between him and the wall, resting her head on his upper arm. Ashwin in his sleep, pulled her closer and wrapped his free hand around her waist. Pugazh who slept on the other side of Ashwin, woke them up in the morning without a trace of abash.

But obviously things aren't the same now, and Pugazh wasn't that naive.

"Unakku ennapa.. En thangachi ah than ellarum thappa pesuvanga" he blurted.

Ashwin sort of expected that. "Yean da ipdi pesura? Unaku thangachi na enaku friendu da.. Avala yarathu edhavathu sonna nan paathuta irupen?" he wanted to assure.

But Pugazh couldn't be convinced. He went there to give Ashwin a piece of his mind, and that's exactly what he will do, no matter how much it would hurt them both.

"Apo solladha maari nadanthukoda.. Idhu varaikum epdiyo.. naliki oruthiku purushan aaga pora.. inimey nee sivu kuda nerukama pesadha Ashwinu"

Ashwin's heart almost broke into million pieces. He was Pugazh's mapilai since school till few hours ago. He dont remember when was the last time Pugazh called him by his first name. Not even during their intense fights.

"Yenna da achu unaku? Artha rathiri la vanthu olara? Yean pesa kudathu?" he chose to only focus on his best friend's ridiculous expectations.

"Yean na Sahana ku pudikala.. ava sivu ah pakura vidham enaku pudikala.. unaku sivu yennava venalum irukatum.. Un pondatti ku pidikathatha pannadha.. ninga inimey hi bye oda niruthikonga, athan yelarkum naladhu"

Pugazh hasn't seen Sahana much. They've only met a couple of times that too when Sivaangi wasn't around. Ever since they've landed in Maldives, they're spending more time together. Ashwin didn't seem to bother her interactions with her ex-boyfriend. He only glanced at them when Sarath and Sakthi jokingly pointed out and moved on; but that's not the case with Sahana. Pugazh couldn't help but read her facial expressions whenever Ashwin talked to Sivaangi especially when Sivaangi sang and hugged Ashwin. His brotherly love couldn't brush it off as the bride to be's jitters.

"Adha nee yean da soldra? Sivu sollatum!"

"Sivu sonna pesama irunthurviya?"

"Ava sollamata"

"Adhunala than da nan soldren.. sahana edathula sivu irunthu, unaku vera oru ponnu sivu alavuku close ah irunthurntha apo vum nan ipditha sollirpen!"

Pugazh wanted to protect his little sister from Ashwin and Sahana's relatives who looked down at her like she was the other woman. He also didn't want her sister's so-called friendship to affect his best friend's marriage life. 

Whatever it was, Ashwin was truly offended. Does he even want a life without Sivaangi?

"Deii.. nee edha manasula vechitu ipdi pesuranu enaku teriyala.. Aana onnu soldren keatuko.. en vaalkai la sahana irupalo illayo.. sivaangi irupa.. ennaikum irupa! Yarukagavum yedhukagavum avalta pesamalam iruka mudiyathu!"

He left the room while his words echoed to Pugazh who stood there disheartened and extremely worried for the most important man and woman of his life.

*******

Foams of seawater graced Ashwin's feet as they touched the shore. He could have heard the sounds of seagulls, crashing waves, blowing wind and even the crew of party decorators setting up the muhurtam stage from a distance, if there wasn't a carnival going on in his mind.

It was almost dawn when he finally finished contemplating his various life decisions and their consequences. He made up his mind to call off the wedding and how to speak up to Sahana about it. He called her.

"I just about to call you Ashwin. Where are you?"

"Beach la? What happened?" he was visibly nervous and worried.

"You just stay there. I'll come" she hung.

He wondered why she was awake, after lecturing him about how they need to sleep as early as possible so that they could look the best on their special day; how the first thing she spoke after attending his call was not about why he is not sleeping; and why she wants to see him?

"Ashwin" he heard Sahana's voice from the back. He turned to find her clutching the end of her dupatta nervously and moving her eyeballs in every direction except where his eyes were. If there's anyone who should be as nervous or more, it was Ashwin. He turned around immediately, unable to look at her and slowly said her name. "Sahana"

Within few seconds, they both said simultaneously,

"I kissed Roy" "I kissed Sivaangi"

"What?!" they both were shocked.

After what seemed like an eternity of awkward silence, Ashwin decided to speak up.

"I don't regret it Sahana" he blurted.

"Me neither" she replied holding her self in the chilling sea breeze.

"Looking back, Roy mela iruntha frustration la than un proposal ah accept paneno nu thonuthu.. but ipo un mela iruntha frustration la avana kiss panala.." she sighed.

"Sivaangi was a true friend, at least till a few hours ago. To be honest, this was our second kiss Sahana" her eyes widened and shrunk immediately. Ashwin noticed the shift and added "but that was when you were not in the picture, it was different, it was planotic, as crazy as it might sound" he chuckled dryly. "But iniku apdi illa"

"Oh please don't elaborate" she chuckled. "Tell me something? Do you love sivaangi?"

He stayed silent for a moment. He knew whatever he was gonna say would hurt Sahana, but hiding it and going into a messed up married life would hurt them both more.

"I do. With all my heart. I've never loved anyone as much as I love her"

"I knew it. Anyways, do you love me?"

"Im not sure if I was in love with you or the idea of having you as my girlfriend"

"I'm glad you said it.. Nejama.. I dont know what lead to the kiss, but with this clarity you should really consider calling off our wedding and pursue sivaangi for god sake"

He was silent again. Who was this woman beside him and where was Sahana?

"Don't say this because you kissed Ron"

"No. I'm saying this because I still love Ron.. he came here to win me back apparently.. He genuinely apologised.. Apothan I realised I never really moved on from him"

Ashwin nodded "High-school sweethearts achey ninga.. Of course it wouldn't be easy to move on from someone you literally grew up with"

"Itha nee enaku soldriya illa unaku neeye sollikiraya?" she teased.

"Come on"

"I know chill.. I really liked you Ashwin.. you are a great man.. way better than Roy.. adhunaala I couldn't stand you maybe.."

'I'm glad you said it.." he smiled and shook his head.

She mirrored his smile and extended her legs onto the sand, supporting her hands at the back "Evlo naal aachu la nama ivlo cool ah pesi.."

"Hhmm not since we started planning the wedding"

"We really make a good team Ashwin.. But only if we aren't the problem.. Office la.. Evlo projects.. We've killed it.. We decided to organise a wedding, and here we are, ready to call it off" they looked at each other for a moment and ended up laughing.

When they were about to leave, Sahana stopped him to ask "Ashwin.. Nan Ron ah kiss panama irunthu, nee matum sivaangi ah kiss paniruntha, apovum ithelam sollirupiya?"

He reached her face, tucked the strands of hair into the back of her ears and held her face in his palms "Sahana, issue nama inoruthar ah kiss panadhu illa.. Nama kalyanam paniruntha, namakulla workout agirukuma nu "

*******

Ashwin went to Sivaangi's room. She wasn't there. He looked around for her enthusiastically, but couldn't find her. He asked around and searched everywhere around the resort. He couldn't find her anywhere and no one knew where she was.

He tried calling her but her phone was switched off. He was starting to feel anxious and ran to the beach. She wasn't there either. He kneeled on the sand and sighed. Someone held his shoulder from behind. He jerked and turned to find Pugazh.

Ashwin gave Pugazh a painful glare and turned his back to him. Pugazh sat beside Ashwin. "Anga kalyanatha niruthitu, inga ukandhu feel panitu iruka?"

Ashwin turned to him "Engada ava?"

"Yaaru?" Pugazh asked casually, dusting sand away from his palms, looking at the sea.

"Sivaangi" Ashwin gritted his teeth, trying his best to not chide Pugazh.

"Ava poita da"

Ashwin was extremely confused and worried. "Poita na? Enga? Epo? Epdi?"

"edho oru ooruku poirka.. inga varumbothey ticket book panitu than vantha.. airport ku poyi flight la poirpa"

Ashwin was absolutely taken aback. Sivaangi never wished to visit anywhere all her life. It was Ashwin who always loved visiting different countries and aesthetic locations. She wouldn't have ever wanted to travel to any place, especially without informing him or Pugazh. He wondered what got on her. He would never forgive himself if he was the reason.

"Ennada ivlo easy ah soldra? Yean sollama kollama pona?"

"Edho avaluku thonuchu poita.. suthi paakalaam pogala.. settle agalamnu than poirka.. velai kedachiruku, poren nu sonna.. nan venam nu than sonen.. ava keakavey illa.. aprom ava ishtam nu soliten.. enga pora nu entaye sollala.. poita''

Pugazh's voice exhibited unsaid anger, disappointment and pain. Ashwin was guilt ridden. More than what he felt when he broke off with Sahana. He reckoned Sivaangi should have fallen for him a long time ago. It killed him to look back and imagine how much it would have hurt her to see him with Sahana.

Poita..

poita..

poita

The last word of Pugazh's sentence echoed in Ashwin's ears. His mind kept repeating it. He couldn't think beyond that word. He didn't even realise tears were leaving his eyes till Pugazh wrapped his hands around Ashwin's shoulders and held him firmly. "Poita da ava" Ashwin broke down and sobbed like a baby in Pugazh's embrace.

"Vidu maapla"

*******

Ashwin spent 2 years in misery. He tried to track her down but failed. He worried about her safety and convenience in an unfamiliar place eventhough he knew she was a damn strong indpendent woman who can survive by herself. He just couldn't be convinced.

He knew she would have pondered and it would have taken everything left within her to go away from him and everyone mattered to her even after having a moment on his wedding eve.

As much as Ashwin wanted to see her, pull her into a bone crushing hug and utter how much he loved her; he also wanted to give her all the time and space she needed to muse. 

He decided to wait, either till she comes back on her own will or till he finds out where she was, whichever happens first.

*******

Sahana's eyes widened in surprise when she saw the familiar petite woman on the other side of the room. She quickly ran to her and stopped her. "Sivaangi!! Nee enga inga?"

Sivaangi was startled to hear her full name there from a familiar voice. She looked up and found Sahana. Sivaangi wasn't sure if she was happy to see her, there.

"I'm their teacher" Sivaangi pointed at the bunch of toddlers who were so invested in the statues and sculptures in the museum.

"Neenga..?" she trailed off with hesitation.

"I came here for our 2nd anniversary.. it's a one week trip here in Swiss.." It then only occured to Sivaangi it was that time of the year when her second kiss with Ashwin happened and she left him. "enga romba naal kanavu.." Sivaangi mentally rolled her eyes. Since when did his dream become their dream? "nee field trip mudichona nama dinner ku meet panalama? We have so much to catch up" Sivaangi wondered why suddenly Sahana acted overly friendly to her? What did she have to catch up with their life?

Sivaangi faked a smile. She was about to politely refuse Sahana's invitation when she heard a male voice calling for Sahana. She saw a man approaching them. With whatever memory she had left with other things during her stay in Maldives for Ashwin's wedding, she knew it should be Roy.

She stared at them visibly confused. Sahana introduced Roy to Sivaangi and Sivaangi to Roy. Sivaangi wanted to know more but she should get going with the other teachers and students to a different place and she wasn't sure if the dinner invite was valid.

"So don't forget, dinner on us tonight, kandipa vanthuru sivaangi" Sahana reiterated genuinely wanting to speak to Sivaangi.

They met later that night and Sahana explained to Sivaangi whatever happened on her wedding day and how she end up marrying Roy. She also told her how crazily Ashwin has been searching for her.

Sivaangi returned to her room with a heavy heart. Not heavier than what it felt during her take off from India to Switzerland.

The walk to her room from Ashwin's room that night was the longest mentally. She felt guilty for growing feelings for someone else's fiance. Yes, it's not her Ashwin anymore, is he? Why does she even have to bring up the kiss right before his wedding? What was she even thinking?

She wanted to disappear from there as soon as possible. She couldn't even stand her brother's accusing look, how would she face the bride and the guests after she was about to make out with the groom?

She quickly packed all her stuff and called Pugazh. She hugged him right away when he entered the room without looking into his eyes.

"Sorry ney" her voice broke while her body trembled.

Pugazh hugged her tighter and caresses her hair "onnumilla sivu.. ellam seri aidum"

"Nee enna romba kevalama nenaikira la?"

Pugazh's heart crumbled. He has never seen his precious little princess like that. "Nan epdi ma unna thapa nenaipen? Nee enna panna?"

"Illa.. nee nenaikire" she sniffed and wiped her face on his shirt.

"Nan ennaikum en chellatha thapa nenaika maaten.. nee ennaikum thappa iruka maata.. edha pathi um yosikama.. nee kelambu.. vaa airport polam"

They pulled apart and Pugazh moved to lift her bag only to be stopped by her "naan thaniya poikren ney" which earned her a nice glare from him. He dropped the bag "nee ennadhan nenachitu iruka? Thidirnu velinaadu pova, enga nu solla maata, airport kum vara kudathu na? Anna kaaran nan edhuku iruken?"

"Kova padatha ney" she whined "avaruku naliki kalyanam.. naanum illa neeyum illana enna aavaru? Nee avaru kuda iruney.. en flight kelamba late agum.."

Pugazh didn't speak anything for a while. She took her bag and walked to the resort entrance to get in her cab, followed by Pugazh. He stood by the gate and waved at her, before he kissed both his palms and aimed at her in the air.

Sivaangi called pugazh once in a while but never asks about Ashwin in fear of her brother worrying if she still has feelings for Ashwin. Pugazh never bothered to let her know Ashwin didn't get married. He just wanted his sister to heal and come through.

The images of Ashwin's face when kissed her forehead, and Pugazh's face when threw her a bundle of air kisses stay fresh in her mind, and keep her going everyday.

*******

Sahana called Ashwin and filled him up as soon as she reached her hotel room. Ashwin screamed in happiness and excitement. He informed Pugazh and booked the next flight to Switzerland for them.

2 days later, Sivaangi saw Ashwin in her school, holding a kid, with a woman in her late 20s. He was asking the receptionist about the procedures to enrol the kid. They seemed like a perfect loving family.

She was hit by a wave of emotions. Firstly, she missed him so much. She was even contemplating about going back to Chennai and visit him. Secondly, she oddly felt happy for the called off wedding. She thought she still had a chance. How foolish of her to imagine he would have stayed single for two years when he didn't even try to find her or contact her through other means? Thirdly, why on earth he should be in the same city as her eventhough it was her fault to escape to his dream destination.

Ashwin's eyes landed on the stupefied Sivaangi. He passed the girl on his hand to her mother and excused himself from there. He ran to Sivaangi and acted like he was pleasantly surprised to see there, even though he was going through a meltdown internally, to see her after the longest time they've stayed apart ever.

She would have crashed on him and cried if she was the Sivaangi from two years ago. This was a different Sivaangi, a distant Sivaangi, more importantly, a riled up Sivaangi.

He held her shoulders and shaked her "Sivaangi maa"

That voice. That damned voice. She was shook and brought back to reality from the stun.

"Wow Ashwin! Modhala enna kiss panna.. Aprom Sahana va love panna.. Aprom avala kalyana panika pona.. aprom enna kiss panna.. aprom nanga rendu peru illanadhum yaro hindi kaari ah kattikitta?! Kolandha vera? How quickly you move on!" she let it all out, with an extra ounce of sarcasm and saltiness.

Ashwin was more offended than hurt. Is that how she perceived him?

"Adhu en kolandha illa" thats all he had to say for the whole accusation.

Sivaangi blinked.

"Oh single mom ah? You just settled for whichever comes your way, don't you?"

Ashwin was truly bemused. He put his hands into the pockets of his sweater, breathed in and out.

"Train la meet panen.. Andha ponnu enkuda viladitey vandha.. Indha school la seka poren nu sonanga.. Unna romba naal ku aprom meet pandra naala, epdi aproach pandrathunu yosichapo, admission vanga vara saakula unna pakalam nu nenachen.." he said word by word, sentence by sentence, calmly, while shooting her with an accusing glare and a bitter smirk.

She instantly regretted. But its too late.

"Ivlo naal enna nee ivlo kevalama than nenachirkala?" he just walked away not wanting to create a scene in her school.

She followed him all the way calling his name as he fast walked towards the main gate.

"Nillu Ashwiney!" she shouted stopping him by the playground. "Teriyama solliten! Sorry" she said panting.

"Sorry?" he turned and asked in disbelief.

"10 naal sollama ooruku poitanu tavichu poyi unna paaka vandhene, apo yaaru kiss pannadhu? Neeya naana?" he moved closer, gripped her upper arm and looked into her eyes intensely "Vidinja kalyanam, kayiru katren nu vandhu kiss pathi pesnadhu yaaru? Neeya naana?" he threw her arm "I was a confused idiot Sivaangi.. I made mistakes.. But I never moved on from you!" he plopped on the high bench.

"I–" she sealed his lips before he could say anything further. His eyes went wide. He tried to pull apart but she held him tightly. He pulled her arms forcefully and pushed her away.

"Are you mad?"

"Ivlo panniye un mara mandaiku puriyala.. Idhayum un list la vachiko.. Nan dhan pannen nee illa.. Inimeylum nan than panuven.. " she sulked.

He smirked "we're in your school madam.. Kolandhaingallam papanga"

She moved closer, leaning against him, with a puppy face "apo vaa polam.. aniki vita edathula irunthu start panlam" she whispered.

He gulped. "Edha?" he asked nervously.

"Annan kaaran nan oruthan iruken pa" they heard Pugazh's voice in a funny tone, from a distance.

Sivaangi was genuinely surprised and happy to see him finally "Annneeyyy" She crashed on Pugazh. Ashwin who was watching the brother sister duo, wrapped his hands around both of them and smiled.

It has never felt more complete.

***** THE END *****

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written by KuluGuluTimes

A part of the Zokuhen Collaboration

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