Heyyy sorry I'm late. I'm a bit too tired to write anything else tho so enjoy this adventure of a chapter.

Warning: Ghostly business and Remus

Remus
I crept across my bed, making sure each move I made was silent. I sucked in a breath and peered over the side of my bed. The gremlin was laying down on their side, facing the wall. They weren’t under the blankets weirdly enough, but I can respect that. I let them use Roman’s bed since he wasn’t here and couldn’t tell me no. Bwa. Ah. Ah. I tried to watch for their breathing patterns. Huh… I can’t see their chest rising and falling. That’s okay, right? It just means they’re in a very deep sleep. It doesn’t matter, I know just what to do to wake them up. In three…. Two… One…

I sang out my loudest scree and summersalted from my bed onto their’s, planning to flatten the gremlin with my awesomeness. I caught their eye as they turned to me, but didn’t feel them as I plummeted onto the mattress. I came to a halt when I collided with the wall. Ow. The small child had somehow escaped from under me and was now sitting on the floor. How did I not feel them? Eh, it doesn’t matter. I shifted awkwardly. Something dull was jabbing into my side and I didn’t appreciate it. “Morning cutie pie,” I winked at them. They squinted at me before rolling their eyes. I snorted. I rolled away from the wall, my eyes searching for what could have been stabbing me. I noticed my phone plugged into the wall. It had been opened to Plex and a movie was on pause. I turned back to them, “Where you watching shows all night?” Their eyes widened.

“Erm… Of course not. I woke up and didn’t want to wake you so I started something.” I laughed.

“I didn’t tell you my password and I handed you my phone at eleven last night.” 

“So?”

“You can’t get into the phone without a password, bumbling sea foam corpse.” I said with a grin.

They raised their eyebrows, “And what if I told you I was an expert at… getting into phones?” Oh this child is too funny! I love them. I’m telling Orange that we’re adopting.

“You didn’t even know what a phone was yesterday!” I cackled. I looked back at the phone. “What did you watch anyway?”

“That’s none of your-”

“Ooooo looks like you found Beauty and the Beast. Only half way throught? Dang, you’re missing out. Adam gets shot, it’s hilarious.” I clicked out of it and began scrolling through the movie history.

“Who’s Adam?”

“The beast’s human name, dur. Ooo the Hunchback of Notre Dame~ Wait, the musical? You’re such a nerd! You’re a lot like my brother, actually. What else… Big Hero Six, a classic, Avengers, I can respect that, Percy Jackson-” I gagged. “Oh come on, you’re not allowed to watch those without reading the book. The blue food thing is totally relatable and it’s a sin that they didn’t include it. What else… Oh that’s it. Man, that’s seven hours. Did you get any sleep last night?”

“Uh… No. I have a difficult time trying to sleep.”

“Insomniac?”

“What?”

“Are you an insomniac?”

“... That depends on what insomniac means.”

“An insomniac is someone who has trouble sleeping.” I laid down on the bed, my head hanging off the edge.

“... Yes, that is one word that would describe it.”

“Noiceeeeeee.” I rolled off the bed head first. They moved back as I made my dramatic descend. Once on the floor, I checked my phone for texts. 6am. Eheheehehe. Wait noooooo I have schoooool. Ughhhh. I scrolled through and smiled when seeing the group chat I was added to. I quickly typed.

foxy_octopus🦊🐙: Hey boy toy! I forgot to tell you! We’re adopting! With Bronnie!

Mrs. Emperor of Universe🗡🧪: So you have chosen death.

Orange🤒🍊: Nooo don’t kill my fiance! At least, not without me there. I want to record it for the child we’re adopting to witness.

foxy_octopus🦊🐙: Lol my boo is the only one allowed to take me out. As long as it’s done in the right fashion ;)

Mrs. Emperor of Universe🗡🧪: … Remind me why I agreed to a group chat with you two.

foxy_octopus🦊🐙: Because you’re the one who set us up. Plus you need to be here when our child is added to the group chat. Imma get their phone up and running now.

I threw the phone up onto my bed and took their phone off the charger. I set it up and connected it to mine so they were a part of my plan. My parents may yell at me later, may not. We’ll see. I handed them their phone and they stared at it.

“It needs to scan your thumb print,” I hinted. They didn’t move.

“No, I’m not taking off my gloves.”

“The phone doesn’t recognize your gloves as fingers..?” They looked at me.

“I’m not taking off my gloves.” I shrugged.

“Okay snake child. I’ll let you figure out how to do it, I’mma get ready for the torture chamber!” I cackled and grabbed my clothes, then went into the bathroom.

I came out a few minutes later with my makeup done, my fishnets on, my tanktop with a human eye on the front on, and my hair spiked with sexy hair gel. Oh and my moustache drawn on with eye liner. Just because I haven’t been able to grow my own yet doesn’t mean I shouldn’t have one. They are fabulous and deserve to be on my face. I walked in to the room to see a floating phone. Huh. You don’t see that every day. So anyways.

I grabbed my phone and the floating phone fell to the floor. “Hey snake child, change into some of my clothes then come down stairs to get breakfast with me!” I called out before vibrating out of the room. I fell down the stairs and ninja rolled to the kitchen like the legend I am. "Birth giver!" I called out, "I have arrived!"

My mother turned to me, "Welcome. Where is your friend?"

"They are venturing to the great land of condoms and pads to prepare for the battle that shall surely take place today at the teenage prison!" She sighed.

"English, please."

"Hehe probably in the bathroom getting ready." She nodded. I jumped up on the stool before gasping. The gasp was so strong I fell backwards off my perch. The parental quickly whipped around, eyes wide.

"What is it? Are you okay?"

I finished inhaling and finally spoke, "I just realized I didn't tell you I have a fiance now!" My mother slowly blinked at me.

"You fell off your stool because- … you're only 16."

"I know, isn't it great!" She sighed, putting a hand on her chest as if trying to calm her beating heart. I noticed another grey hair appeared to add to the collection. Score!

She turned back to the breakfast, "I'm happy for you, honey. How about you go check on your friend?"

I leaped to my feet and crawled up the stairs like the octopus boy I am. 

"Snake child!" I called, "Are you decent?!" I rolled to the base of the door. Ninja.

It took them a few moments to remember how to speak again, but they finally caught on, "Yes," the door opened and I rolled in, my legs flailing into the air. They had to stumble back in an attempt to not be squashed. I looked up to see them in their bowler hat but with my black sweatshirt and the same black pants they were wearing before. The sweatshirt went down to their knees and swallowed them. Their arms were nowhere to be found. I snickered, making them squint. "What?"

"Ohhhhhh nothing~. Come on!" I rolled out of the room and down the stairs again. "I brought the gremlin!" I screeched to the person who carried me around in her womb for 9 months with the worst woombmate ever. She turned to me, holding two plates of bullseye toast. You know, the toast with an egg in the middle. I reject any other name. "You're the best!" I took my plate and shoved the bread in my face. The parent sighed, already knowing that trying to get me to not choke isn't an option.

The sweatshirt gremlin took the other plate, watching me carefully, "Thank you ma'am." The birth giver seemed taken aback by the manners that escaped the snek's mouth.

"You're welcome. You're such a sweet boy." I choked on my bread and the snek child bit their cheek but smiled regardless.

"Non binary-" I coughed, but my mother missed it.

"How did you get those markings on your face?"

"Oh well I…" They drifted off, touching their cheek. "I got the scar when I was little…"

"And the snake part?" Panic flashed across their eyes.

"They don't have to answer if they're not comfortable," I quickly butt in. "I mean. I never answer when asked why I shave my legs. It's a way of life that shouldn't be questioned. Like gravity, the pythagorean theorem, and Elmo." I flicked off the child's hat and ruffled their hair. They swatted at my hand, their train of thought being broken. Their once panicked gaze was replaced with a scowl. 

I looked to the clock and licked the back of my palm. "It's time for us to go if we want to catch the bus! And it's the last day of school so I don't want to miss it! Come on snek child!" I grabbed the smol one's arm and dragged them out the front door. I snatched my fanny pack on the way. Whaaaat? It's basically yearbook signing day so I don't need much besides a green sharpie to write my name with and my classic thicccc squid stamp. I also brought a few more markers and pens in case other children need it. Tis necessary.

While walking to the bus stop, I turned to the snek, "Sorry about her. She's nosey and doesn't really understand pronouns. They fly right over her head. Like that one guy from guardians of the galaxy. Drax, I think his name was."

"It's alright," they looked ahead at the bus, "Why are we getting on a bus?"

"To go to prison!"

"...ah… will Bonnie be there?" I nodded quickly.

"She's trapped just as I and most of her 12 siblings."

Their eyebrows rose, "She has 12 siblings?"

"Yepo! I don't know how her parents survive!"

"I didn't realize families are that large in this time period."

"Families can be whatever size. I mean, adoption! Duh! If you aren't into the sexy time and or just can't make your own sexy time results." They nodded.

"Do you think Bonnie is only going to bring a small bag like you?" I shrugged.

"Probably not. Why are you so interested in her?" I smirked and wiggled my eyebrows. 

"Oh please," they rolled their eyes.

I laughed, "Kidding! Kidding! Plus Bonnie's straight and not into relationships right now so you'd be out of your luck little gremlin."

"I'm begging you to stop talking."

"Awww why? Sad that you can't suck Bonnie's-" a sock was shoved into my mouth, preventing me from talking. I don't even know where they got that thing. Huh. I won't dwell on it. It tastes like moldy cheese anyway. Delicious.

We boarded the bus and sat next to each other in silence on the way to the prison sight.

1993 Words
Heck yeaaaaah. I need to catch up on chapters, I'm about to where my prewritten ones end haha. I hope you have all enjoyed the chaos that is Remus.

Love ya sisters, brothers, and non binary others! Peace!
💖 Maybay4