He had just finished arranging some of his stuff when Yeonjun was told he has a scheduled group session for today. He nodded at his nurse, Seokjin, as an acknowledgement and kindly said that he’ll prepare first before meeting him out at their floor’s front table to get to wherever room that therapy session will take place.

The brunette went to his closet to take out a piece of clothing to wear which ended up being a simple pair of washed jeans, a white shirt and his favorite black hoodie because it’s still cold anyway.

As he was taking his shirt off to change, however, he just so happened to be standing right in front of the full length mirror, automatically giving him the complete access to rake his eyes all over his bare torso. Yeonjun stops his movement, sight and mind being too immersed in staring to even think about something else other than a momentary self-pity.

Yeonjun wants to vomit, heavily breathing and the familiar lump settling on his throat as he examines what became of his body. Unknowingly, his right hand slowly rose up to gently graze on his own skin, small touches lingering longer with each of his scars resulted by repetitive operations. He shakily lets out a sigh, closing his eyes to prevent the teardrops that were itching to fall.

He told himself he would never cry because of this again. He can’t let himself be held back and succumb to the overwhelming grip of darkness again. He already survived floating in the never-ending abyss of melancholic nothingness, he can’t risk having to fall right back into that again. Not anymore.

As he remains standing there with his eyes close, his fingertips also remain tracing on his healed wounds. He feels them up, starting from his chest down to his abdomen while his brain drifted off back to the memories as to when he got each of them.

As to why he has them.

He took a deep breath, finally letting his hand fall back to his side and his eyes to open. And there he saw himself, staring right back at him with the same amount of fierceness, and as much as he doesn’t want to think this way, he stares back at his reflection with the same amount of disgust.

This is why he doesn’t like looking in the mirror, especially when he doesn’t have anything to cover himself up. He just couldn’t help but be reminded of his stupid illness and the pain he had and has to go through because of it. It’s sickening and he’s tired and he knows it’s not going to end, that’s why he’s trying so hard to avoid it as much as possible.

But then looking at himself just brings back all of the thoughts he wants to get rid of and then he’ll have to face the truth that he can’t escape them no matter how much he tried.

And who knows? Maybe he’s also tired of running away from them.

“Yeonjun, are you coming!?”

The abrupt yell from outside his room took Yeonjun out of his trance. He blinks, putting an end to his intense stare at his own reflection and continues dressing up again.

“Yeah! I’m out in a bit!” He yelled back, shaking his head before he finally left the mirror and walked right out the door.

___

“Are you sure you’ll be alright? Maybe I can pull a string or two so I could accompany yo—“

“Jin hyung, I’ll be fine. Trust me.”

“Are you sure? I can talk t—“

“Hyung, really.” Yeonjun turns to his overly worried than necessary nurse with a reassuring smile. He reaches out to hold his hands and gives it a squeeze. “I’ll be fine, okay? Stop worrying too much.”

Seokjin pursed his lip, still a little reluctant about letting Yeonjun go alone. “Are you sure?”

It’s not like it’s the first time Yeonjun will do this, he also has this kind of session in his schedule back at his former facility but that’s exactly the point. It is a totally different and new environment, which means that the younger might be not used with these new faces and feel uncomfortable and Seokjin doesn’t want that to his little baby.

Is it wrong to be cautious and a bit protective when he just wants the best for Yeonjun?

“Yes, hyung—and besides, I bet Soobin will be there too, so you don’t have to be worried, okay? I’ll be right back in my room once we’re done.”

“Fine.” Thankfully, Seokjin agreed at last and didn’t drag this on longer than needed. “I’ll be checking so you better be there!”

“Yes, hyung! Go now.” Yeonjun smiled, waving goodbye to his hyung and entering the room with a sigh.

All eyes fell on him the moment he opened the door. He startled for a second, feeling bashful of the attention being put on him but it quickly dissipated as soon as it appeared which is something he’s fully grateful off.

Yeonjun walks silently, not wanting to attract unwanted attention as he searches for a vacant seat.

The place is just like what he expected it to be but undoubtedly bigger with its cream colored walls, a mahogany table at the front, plants and flowers around the place for decorations, curtain covered windows, and people sprawled on their own seats. There’s also this one corner filled with books, magazines and other things to keep yourself occupied.

After a minute or so of awkwardly looking around, he finally spotted an empty chair just beside the huge vase with a plant he doesn’t know in one corner. He settled himself down, feeling accomplished of his tiny mission and sits there, fidgeting awkwardly on his seat once he realized he doesn’t really has anyone to talk to as of the moment.

He just wishes Soobin would be there already.

The boy decided he’ll just watch everyone else while he waits for his friend. He shots his head up, letting his eyes wander from one person to another and observe them. Not in a creepy psychopathic way, he just wants to observe how they interact so that maybe he could learn how to act and mingle with them.

If he’s going to stay in there for as long as he has to, he better socialize or else he’s gonna be this one loner who knows no one.

Oh right, he has Soobin.

A few minutes passed of Yeonjun just watching these thirteen people (he counted), and there’s still no sign of the 6ft tall personification of a bunny. He unconsciously pouted, eyes fixed by the door in case Soobin shows up but he still hasn’t. Yeonjun wonders what he could possibly be doing that’s taking him so long to arrive.

Wait—what if something happened that’s why Soobin still isn't there?

He scolded himself mentally because of the thought. The guy’s probably just running late or he got too invested reading a book and now Namjoon is nagging at him for being negligent.

Yeah, that’s probably it.

While he has his eyes drawn to the white tiled floor, the door suddenly got opened causing Yeonjun to curtly throw his line of vision towards it, thinking that it must be the one he’s waiting for. However, the smile he plastered on drops little by little when he realized it isn't him but instead, the therapist assigned for their group. He learned that each group consist of 15 patients and they would meet once every two weeks and that the group changes every year to let everyone know each other.

The therapist then stands in front of the crowd and introduced herself, kindly asking everyone to gather their seats in a circle so they could start. Yeonjun bit his lower lip while doing what they were told and proceeded to spare smiles at the others.

They began like that, introducing themselves one by one (turns out it was for Yeonjun because they technically know each other already and well yeah, he’s the new one) as the therapist urges them to share some of their stories. Yeonjun went with it although he still kept to himself because he isn't that comfortable with sharing his experiences yet.

Fortunately nobody pressured him into spilling anything, instead, they were nice enough to say they could wait until he’s finally okay with it.

However all throughout the session, his eyes kept on glancing towards the door, hoping for that someone to show up but he never did.