"I will build my life
upon Your love
It is a firm foundation."

Before I knew it, I felt my legs running to the altar of our church. All my life, all I had known was loneliness and depression and anger, because I was an orphan and a freak. I had believed that no one ever loved me, but tonight, I felt...different. Like there was someone out there, willing to be there, looking out for me.

I fell to my knees, as they were weak and heavy. The tears fell like drops of heavy rain from my eyes. I felt a rough and calloused hand gently ease it's way onto my shoulder.

"Jesse, you need to know that God has a purpose for your life," Pastor Lee Everett, our lead pastor whispered into my ear, "and that just because you came from an orphanage doesn't mean that God won't love you. The reason why I invited you here is because there is a God who loves you so much that He thought you were worth dying for."

The tears blurred my eyesight. "B-but my family threw me away, and I have no one, Pastor. How could God love someone who has nothing to offer?"

"You know, I often ask that question. But I get to studying and realize that His love is a gift that He freely gives. That's what Ephesians says. But, you've gotta want it."

There was something roaring in my chest, something that burned with desire. My heart burned and bounced and it felt like the burdens were coming off.

"P-pastor," I mumbled through tears, feeling more and more people's hands on my back, "I want to know His love. His mercy. I've screwed up so much, and failed so much more. I've done more things than most people just to gain approval, and it's left me hurting and broken. I just want someone who will never leave. Someone who will help me with this pain. I'm tired of feeling worthless, I'm tired of feeling broken and I'm tired of running to parties and things where I get bullied and mistreated-"my voice broke.

"Jess, you need to know that the One that you're needing, He was despised and rejected by all men too, so He understands how you feel. You need to know that there is a freedom, that there is a love, that there is a grace, that there is a God that loves you right where you are. You don't have to be the life of the party, you don't have to even do anything for Him to love you. You are loved. You are cherished. If you ask, you'll be forgiven. It's simple. Do you want that?"

"I-I do. So much. What do I need to do?"

"All you have to do is pray this and believe it. Repeat after me: Jesus,"

"Jesus," I deeply desire to be free of everything.

"I'm sorry for everything that I have done,"

"I'm sorry for everything that I h-have done," I regret all the nights where I went to parties, where I drank, where I did everything for somebody just to be left again and again and again.

"I ask you to forgive me and set me free from everything."

"I a-ask y-y-you to forgive m-me and s-s-set me free from everything." Jesus, I want you. I want to be free from everything that haunts me. I want to be free of everything. Please set me free!

"I ask this all in your name, Jesus."

"I ask this all in your name, Jesus, amen."

The weight on my heart began to ease until it faded away, and I felt a peace and a tingling come from the top of my head all the way to the soles of my feet. I got up and the next thing I know, I was bear hugged by a guy my age.

"We've been praying for you to come here all along man, we've been sticking up for you and fighting for you and we want you to know that God will never give up on you."

You'll never give up on me, huh?

After I got out of that hug, I had a man come up to me and rub some sort of oil on the center of my forehead.

"You are called to be a light in the darkness, Jesse. God has been fighting fiercely on your behalf for years now, protecting you ever since your mom and dad passed away. Your story will reach people, and you will pull people out of the clutches of darkness. You will save women from getting raped, guys from committing suicide, and more. You will be a force for Christ. Do not fear and do not give up. The Lord will give you strength for the journey."

My chest felt like it was burning like it had been singed by fire. If what this guy says is true, Lord, then please use me. I beg of you to.

"I will, Jesse, for I have called you by name, and I will heal the broken places of your heart. I will put new people in your life who will be with you on the journey ahead. But get plugged into the college ministry here. There will be plenty of people to help you out."