Beth has been lying in bed all day. Nell doesn't know if she's sick, just tired, or if she was bitten by one of the walkers that came out of the barn.
She hopes it isn't the last option.

After what Hershel said to Shane the other day, Nell asked Maggie what had happened. Hershel was talking about Shane doing something he wasn't supposed to at the barn— and Nell wanted to know what it was.

Maggie is Beth's older sister. She is also one of the few people who actually care for Nell.
Maggie told her that everyone is just a bit shocked, still processing the recent events. She said that they'll open up to her once everyone cools down.
Nell isn't so sure though.

"Maggie? Can I ask you a question?" Nell always had to make sure that it was okay to ask someone something. When she asked her dad something when she wasn't supposed to, he always got angry.

"Hey there, princess! What's your question?" Maggie flashed her a bright smile.

Princess? She is the total opposite of a princess.
Princesses are pretty and smart and they always wear dresses. Nell is pretty sure that she hasn't ever worn a dress in her life.
If she was to be any princess, she'd be Rapunzel, she thought.
It always felt like her dad kept her trapped in a tower, just like Mother Gothel did to Rapunzel.
The only difference is that Rapunzel escaped and Nell couldn't.

"What did Shane do at the barn?" Nell asked the short-haired woman standing in front of her.
Maggie's sweet green eyes reminded Nell of the woods. Nell would spend all of her time in the woods if it weren't for the walkers.

Maggie sighed, and for a moment, Nell could swear that she saw the endless green fade from her eyes.

"I guess you deserve to know." Maggie started. "Our barn used to hold tons of walkers. We kept em' in there because we thought there'd be a cure.
Those walkers were our family, our friends, our neighbors.
We kept this a secret from Rick and his group until they found out on their own, right before we came to save you.
Shane broke open the door, letting all of the walkers loose."
Maggie's voice broke and her eyes started watering, but she didn't cry. She paused, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath before beginning again.

Nell immediately felt bad for asking the question. She hoped that she wouldn't get angry.

"Rick's group started shooting their guns.
They shot down every walker in the barn. I don't blame them for that, they had to kill em' all, or else they'd attack us.
But it was Shane who let them loose.
Beth's mother was in that barn, that's why she's so upset. She saw her mom die for the second time." Maggie said.

Nell's heart dropped. She knew that there must have been lots of more people who went through family loss other than herself. But for some reason, she didn't expect Beth to be one of those people.

Nell figured that she lost her mom and Ollie because she deserved it. She was a bad kid and the world punished her, just like her dad always said it would.
But Beth?
Beth seems like the perfect girl. She's sweet and helpful and never yells at anyone. It's not fair that she lost her mom.

• • •

Nell walks into the kitchen, having nothing better to do than roam around the farm avoiding Carl.
Carl has been even more annoying than usual because Shane and his dad left to drop Randall off somewhere far away.

She stops at the doorway when she hears Lori and Maggie having a conversation. Nell doesn't want to interrupt them, so she waits at the doorway and listens.

"Did Rick say anything to you about Glenn when they got back from town?" Maggie asks Lori, cutting some tomatoes on a cutting board.

"Just that it had gotten pretty bad," Lori says, addressing the situation that happened with Rick, Glenn, and Hershel in the town.

"He's not the same. He says he froze." Maggie says as she stops cutting her tomatoes and looks up at Lori from across the table. "He blames me— says I got inside his head."

"He came back. That's what matters." Lori says, glancing at Maggie while also cutting chicken. "Men have to do certain things, you know that.
And they're either gonna blame the little women as the reason they do 'em or the reason they don't."

Nell already knew that she was the reason why her dad acted as he did. He told her that it was her fault whenever she got punished.
And Nell believed it.

"I'll tell you something— what happens out there, happens out there. And we—" Lori pauses. "We're just trying to keep it together till they get back."

"Things were good and maybe I—" Maggie begins to say, but Lori starts speaking again.

"Glenn's a big boy. He makes his own choices. And then you— do you have anything to apologize for?" Lori says, stuffing a cucumber slice into her mouth.

Maggie quickly shakes her head.

Lori shrugs with another cucumber in her hand.
"Tell him to man up and pull himself together.
Just don't say 'man up', it never goes well." Lori laughs.

Maggie giggles too and now, Nell decides that it is the perfect time to walk in.

"Oh, hey Nell," Maggie says, picking up a tray with a plate of food and a glass of water on it. "I was just about to get this to Beth."

"Go on, I got it," Lori says, pops the cucumber into her mouth, and then takes the tray from Maggie.

"You should take Nell with you. I know she must be worried sick about Beth, they're practically best friends." Maggie says with another giggle.

That was a lie. Nell was barely even friends with Beth. Yeah, she is super nice, but they have talked only four times.

Maggie smiles at Nell and nods her head in Lori's direction, motioning that she should follow her.

Now Nell gets it.
Maggie has been trying to help her become friends with everyone at the farmhouse ever since Nell opened up to her about it.
Now is her chance to get to know Lori and maybe Beth too.

C'mon." Lori says to Nell, slightly smiling.

• • •

"Knock knock," Lori says as she walks into the room where Beth is lying. It's the same room that Nell woke up in when Hershel fixed her stab wound before she got kidnapped.
Nell follows behind Lori, making her way to the side of Beth's bed.

Lori places the tray of food down on the nightstand and Beth sits up in her bed.

"How about this—" Lori starts to say as her thumbs wrap around the holster on her waist. "You eat up all your food, we'll get you up and out of here and go take a walk, what do you say?" Lori says, 'we' meaning Nell and Lori.
Nell smiles when she realizes that she is included in the walk.

There is silence that follows.
Beth stares into space and Nell can't tell if she's still processing the question or if she didn't even hear the question.

Beth looks sick. Really, really sick.
Her blonde hair is all messy, pulled into a ponytail at the left side of her face. Her face is flushed and sweaty— how someone usually looks when they have a fever.
Nell is concerned for her, even though she has no idea what is wrong with her.

"You're pregnant." Beth finally says.
Nell's face twists in a 'what the fuck?' kind of look.
That is not what she was expecting her to say and she could tell Lori thought the same.

"How could you do that?" Beth says it like a statement rather than a question.

More silence.
Nell looks up at Lori who has her head down, looking at her shoes.
Well, this is awkward.

"Well, uh, I don't really have a choice," Lori says smiling.
Why is she smiling?

Beth is still in her weird trance, staring at the wall across from her.
"You think it'll make a difference?" She says.
Nell is confused.
Why is Beth being so mean all of a sudden? Maybe that's why her mom died.
That's why my mom died, too.

"Of course, it will," Lori says. "You eat something."
Then she walks out of the bedroom, giving Beth one final glance.

This time, Nell doesn't follow her and she stays with Beth instead, not saying a word.

Beth finally turns her head away from the wall to look at Nell. Those blue eyes have run out of the happiness that has always been in them. She looks just as dead as the walkers.

"What are you still doing here?" Beth says, once again like a statement instead of a question.

Nell shrugs and takes a step closer to the side of her bed.

"It's so pointless, Nell." Tears form in her lifeless eyes as she looks back towards the wall.

Pointless? What's pointless?
She has everything I could ever want, how could that be pointless?

"It'll be okay," Is all Nell could think to say.
She used to be good at comforting people— she related to most of them. She always comforted Ollie and even her mom at times.

Beth let out a small chuckle. Not a happy one— a sad one.
"Why am I even talking to you? I don't expect you to understand." Beth says, slightly shaking her head.

Nell remembers what Maggie said...
'That's why she's so upset. She saw her mom die for the second time.'

Nell takes a deep breath.
"My mom died too, you know." She blurts out in an attempt to make Beth feel like she's not alone.

Beth looks up at Nell again for a few seconds until she returns her gaze to the wall.
Beth doesn't say anything.

"It was before the apocalypse." Nell starts to speak, assuming that Beth isn't going to say anything. "I was little, too little to understand what was goin' on. All I knew was that one day, she was my happy, funny mom. And the next, she was sick in the hospital.
Daddy told me that she was gonna die. The doctors said it was cancer.
Daddy said it was my fault that she died."

Beth shoots her head in Nell's direction, with a look of concern and sympathy.
Nell continues.

"He said I was a bad kid and that's why the world punished me.
And he said that whenever the world wouldn't punish me, he had to do it himself.
So, I know why my mom died, but I don't know why your's did. You haven't done anything wrong to be punished. I guess sometimes the world is wrong.
I mean, in a way, the world is punishin' everyone by making all of these walkers."

Beth's eyes start to water once again.
"Nell..." she says.