A letter from a friend.

Walang buhay ang mga mata ko habang nakatitig sa envelope. I started remembering what happened that night.

Now that I think of it, today's my birthday. She really did gave me a letter, even in the afterlife.

Malalim akong napabuntong-hininga. Dead or not, it's still a letter from a friend. Shelly will not like it if I won't read it.

Buo ang desisyon, binuksan ko ang envelope. I was greeted by a smell of cherry. I can't help but to smile.

Happy Birthday to me. Thanks for the letter, Shelly.

Sinimulan kong basahin ang nakasulat. Ganitong-ganito ang handwriting niya, hindi ko mapigilang marinig ang boses niya sa bawat salitang nakasulat.

I was about to cry when I read the first sentences... not until when her letter started to not make sense.

I looked at it, dumbfounded. Napakurap-kurap ako at walang alam. Parang nanlalabo ang paningin ko, hindi dahil sa naiiyak ako habang nagbabasa kung hindi dahil nanghihina ako sa nababasa ko.

Parang nagkakabuhol-buhol ang mga memorya sa utak ko. Unti-unti, nagsisibalikan sa akin ang mga alaala no'ng gabing 'yon.

Kung ano nga ba talaga ang nangyari, kung tugkol saan nga ba talaga ang sulat na 'to.

Y-Yeah... I forgot... what really happened that night.

I waited for Shelly in the bridge. Instead of seeing her full of bruises, she was smiling that time.

"I'm sorry, I'm late, Rys!" Masiglang sambit ni Shelly habang hawak-hawak ang skateboard niya.

Lumiwanag ang ekspresyon ko nang makita siya. She looks so happy now, I think... I think she had made up her mind!

"So? What's your decision, Shelly?" Marahang tanong ko.

She suddenly paused for a moment, that made my expression changed. Napaiwas siya ng tingin bago muling ngumiti.

"Uhm, sorry Rys. Thank you sa pag-aalala sa 'kin. Pero okay na, hindi ko na kailangang sumama sa'yo."

Natigilan ako sa narinig. Tumaas ang dalawang kilay ko at naguguluhang napatingin sa kaniya. "H-Ha?"

Napakamot sa ulo si Shelly bago muling napangiti.

"Pinayagan na 'ko ni mama na magpatuloy sa pag-skateboard, basta mag-aaral lang daw ako mabuti." Masayang sambit niya. "At... uhm, kailangan kong sumama sa kanila sa probinsya. Doon, pwede kong pagsabayin ang pag-i-i-skateboard at pag-aaral."

I was taken aback by what she said. Para akong nabingi sa sinabi niya at nagsimulang umikot ang paningin ko.

"H-Huh? You're leaving?"

"Y-Yeah, Rys. It's for the best." She faked a smile. "But don't worry! I'll write some letters for you! We can still communicate with each other!"

Shelly tried to cheer me up, but my mind is blank right now.

She's leaving... she's leaving me behind.

"So, don't worry about me anymore-"

"Don't worry?! I'M WILLING TO HELP YOU ABOUT YOUR FUCKING PROBLEMS, SHELLY! NOW, YOU'RE JUST LEAVING ME BEHIND?!"

Shelly flinched when I started shouting. Hindi niya nagawang makasagot kaagad sa sinabi ko.

Mahigpit ang pagkakasara ng kamao ko at mariin akong nakakagat sa ngipin.

"D-Don't leave, Shelly. Don't leave me behind..." Pagmamakaawa ko sa kaniya.

Lumambot ang ekspresyon niya sa sinabi ko. I started crying.

"I'm willing to give you money! I'll support your dreams! I-I gave up studying a long time ago so you don't have to worry about me!"

"I-I can take you to anywhere you want! J-Just please... please, don't leave me."

"Rys..." Sinubukan akong lapitan ni Shelly at hawakan pero mabilis akong umiwas.

"Fuck, you're so selfish, Shelly! Ako ung nandito kapag kailangan mo! Tapos iiwan mo lang ako?!" I started bursting out while crying. "Maybe you really just befriended me for the money-"

Hindi ko naituloy ang sasabihin ko nang maramdaman ko ang mainit na palad niya na tumama sa pisngi ko. Shelly didn't wasted a second and slapped me.

"You're the fucking selfish one, Rys!" Paglabas niya ng inis. "Lagi na lang ikaw! Ikaw! Ikaw! Tingin mo magagawa mo ang lahat gamit ang pera!"

"I told you, we're not the same, Rys!"

"We're not rich! I can't do the things that I want as long as I have money!"

Umalingawngaw ang boses ni Shelly sa kalsada. Tanging ang sinag lang ng buwan at ilaw ng poste ang tanging liwanag namin.

Kusang bumigay ang magkabilang balikat ko. There was an awkward silence between us after she shouted.

Napayuko si Shelly at napaiwas ng tingin. "I-I'm sorry... it's just- RYS!"

Hindi ko alam ang pumasok sa isip ko. Basta narinig ko na lang ang malakas na pagtawag ni Shelly sa akin.

I just found myself standing at the top of the railings, ready to jump.

"R-RYS-"

"It's not about being fucking rich, Shelly." Giit ko.

Walang buhay ang mga mata ko habang nakatingin sa kaniya, ramdam ko ang bakante at pagtama ng hangin sa likod ko. Naririnig ko ang malakas na pag-agos ng tubig sa ilog na nasa baba ko lang.

"My dad is just giving me everything and anything I want to keep my mouth shut about his fucking mistress." Malamig na sambit ko na kinatigil niya.

"My mother was too obsessed with her business and eldest son that she'd forgotten about me and her fucking cheating husband."

"My so called friends are talking about me behind my back and were just with me for the money."

Tears kept falling down as I slowly become numb.

"You... you're the only one I have, Shelly."

Umangat ang tingin ko sa buwan. Naririnig ko ang pag-agos ng tubig sa ilog, nasa tapat ng railings ang skateboard ko, nasa harap ko ang kaisa-isang kaibigan na meron ako.

I guess... I'm going to die now. What a fucked up world.

I was about to jump when I saw Shelly rushing towards me, with tears in her eyes.

Kusang namilog ang mga mata ko nang lumapit siya sa akin. I was about to smile when I saw her reached out her hand, thinking she'll pull me.

But instead, she pushed me.

It felt like time slowed down as I felt myself slowly falling down the bridge. There I saw Shelly watching me fall.

With a sad look on her eyes, as if saying, 'I'll be with you soon'.

I snapped back to reality, with tears in my eyes, holding a letter from a friend.

Ngayon ko lang naalala... naalala kung ano nga ba talaga ang nangyari.

I thought that I received a letter from a dead friend.

It turns out, I'm the dead friend.

_________